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Tricks and Treats

1/1

They say curiosity killed the cat. Such a phrase is one only found being used on Midgard. It's a shame, really, because Loki surely could have benefited from the knowledge of such an expression.

The same can't be said for a certain Tony Stark. He knows the phrase quite well, has heard it repeated since his childhood. As an inventor and billionaire, he chooses to ignore it.

The gods of Asgard often have very little to worry about. Loki is the only trickster in their realm, and because of this fact, the games are often left solely to him.

On Midgard, while many other people try their hand at deceptions, that principle holds very much the same.

__________

It all started when Loki heard the words 'trick-or-treat'.

"Brother, what is the meaning of such an idiom?" Loki asked Thor. His attention had immediately been drawn to the concept of 'tricks', something that he certainly excelled at.

Thor merely shrugged. "It is associated with some Midgardian custom that originated in the Pagan times. [i]Halloween[/i], they call it."

"I have never heard of such a thing," the younger man said, but his interest had been piqued.

It was this interest that caused Loki to transport to Tony Stark's laboratory. He was an intelligent man - for a Midgardian, of course - and he was likely to have the answers to the questions Loki would ask.

"Stark, I possess a question that I would like you to answer."

Tony jumped in his seat, sending some pieces of a machine clattering to the floor. He whipped around in shock, clutching his heart dramatically. "Jesus, Reindeer Games, you can't just sneak up on people like that."

"I did not sneak up on you. Teleportation is not 'sneaking'," Loki pointed out as he leaned back against one of the cluttered tables.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," Tony waved away his statement. He had learned the hard way that arguing with a god got you nothing but a splitting migraine. "What d'you need?"

"I am curious about a certain Midgardian custom of yours. I believe it is called Halloween?"

"Halloween?" Tony raised an eyebrow. "Okay, yeah, what do you want to know?"

"Everything."

"Okay," he said, drawing out the word. "It started as a Pagan holiday about two thousand years ago. The people of the time believed the dead would come back to earth, so they'd dress up in masks and costumes so the spirits would think they were dead. Now it's just an excuse for kids to dress up and get candy and throw parties."

"And these costumes? They are mandatory?" Loki asked, almost carefully. He seemed to be pondering the matter carefully.

"Well... no. But if you're celebrating, it's probably the best way to do it."

The god nodded, then straightened out. "Begin preparations, Stark."

"Um, preparations for what, exactly?" Tony asked.

"For the celebration, of course!"

__________

And so it was decided that there would be a celebration. Tony and Pepper set about planning it, which involved Tony negating nearly all of Pepper's ideas and Pepper going along with them anyway. Eventually, they had settled the matter of decorations and a guest list. All that remained were the costumes.

That, of course, turned out the be the biggest issue out of them all. Tony was the one who took them out shopping, and, as fate would have it, he was the one who accidentally created the biggest, unintentional prank that he had ever seen.

You see, Tony and Pepper were the only two people willing to undergo the headache that would surely accompany Loki and Thor's quest for a costume. Pepper decided that Thor would need the most guidance when it came to finding something, so she took charge of him, leaving Loki to Tony.

"Stark, what sort of costume is it appropriate to wear?" Loki asked as he stared, almost in awe, at the rack of ghost costumes in front of him.

Tony shrugged. "I dunno. You can wear whatever you want. Doesn't matter."

"But what do you recommend?"

"I tried to buy you the slave Princess Leia outfit, but Pepper wouldn't have any of that."

Loki cocked an eyebrow at him. "I do not understand."

"Yeah, that's a good thing," he muttered under his breath. Then he nudged Loki in the direction of the more intricate costumes. "C'mon. The good stuff's over here."

They browsed for hours. Tony had known that Loki was a diva, but no one could have guessed that he would be so particular about something he'd be wearing for a few hours on one night of the year. He contemplated each option carefully, as though his life was dependent upon his decision. Even Stark's dramatic sighs and snide comments had no effect on his thoughtful demeanor.

"This one," Loki finally stated, grabbing a costume off the rack. "I require this one."

"You should probably try it on first," Pepper pointed out. "Don't want to get something that doesn't fit."

"Fine idea, Miss Potts," Loki nodded. He grabbed the bag containing the costume from the rack: a bloodied angel with large, black wings. He had previously stated his desire to get something scary and somewhat cheesy, as that seemed to be the contemporary custom for the holiday in question. An angel of death was a the epitome of that.

Loki brought the costume to the curtain-covered changing room while three others waited outside. He was only in there for a few moments before he returned, stating bluntly, "It does not fit. Stark, retrieve the proper size," as he threw the outfit into the man's hands. Pepper barely had time to stifle her snicker before Tony turned to glare at both men and stalked off to find a different size for Loki.

That turned out to be a huge mistake.

__________

The night of the party crept up on them before they knew it. Loki helped Pepper and Steve to decorate the Stark tower, using his magic to do the heavy lifting and decorating the high ceilings. Drinks, snacks, and candies were bought, prepared, and set out for anyone to take. The pristine rooms had been metamorphosed into dark dungeons, spider-webbed caves, and Satanic ritual chambers. It was the most anticipated Halloween party in all of New York.

It was when people began to file into the tower that Tony turned to Thor and asked, "What happened to your brother?"

"I do not know," Thor stated. He was too busy staring down at his dapper clothing - Pepper had dressed him up as a Disney prince.

The man sighed heavily, rolling his eyes. "I guess I'll go hunt him down. Wouldn't want him to miss all the festivities.

Tony left the greeting of the guests to the rest of the team and wandered down the hall that led to Loki's temporary rooms. However, he ran into a well-endowed female on the way. Her hair cascaded down her back in dark brown waves, and her bright eyes pierced his small attention span and caused him to stop.

"Well, hello beautiful. You come here often?" he asked, knowing full well that it was the cheesiest pick up line anyone could fathom, but it seemed to work on the goddess before him. Her painted lips turned up in a radiant smile that very nearly made Tony's heart stutter.

"Not often enough," was her coy reply.

"How about you come with me? What's your poison? Malt whiskey? Chardonnay?"

"Absinthe, if you would."

Tony started. "Absinthe? Odd choice for a pretty lady like you," he stated, but he shrugged off the odd comment. The woman could obviously handle her alcohol, and he would be lying if he said that wasn't at turn-on.

"Now, I didn't seem to catch your name?"

__________

A few hours later, and the party was in full swing. The dark industrial music that had been carefully picked out by Natasha and Clint shuddered through the tower. A ridiculous amount of alcohol was consumed, and people that no one knew had taken up residence on the dance floor. Tony stood off to the side, watching as the woman who had captured his attention slinking across the dance floor to him.

A small glimpse of Thor from across the room send a spark of guilt shooting through him. He had completely neglected to go about finding Loki and had therefore been ignoring the thunder god for most of the night. But any thought of that remaining in his mind was nullified by the soft lips pressing against his neck.

"Well, hello darling," Tony purred, placing his hand on the hip of the woman who had done such a wonderful job of consuming all of his thoughts.

"I think I'm a psychic."

The odd phrase shocked the man. "Why d'you say that?"

"Because I can hear your bed calling to me."

He didn't need any other incentive.

__________

Tony Stark woke up on the morning of November 1st in a dungeon-themed bedroom with a pounding headache and the feeling that something had gone horribly, terrible wrong.

The bed next to him was empty - which wasn't exactly a surprise - and he rolled out of it and tugged on some clothes. Once he was decent, he wandered out into the hallway. Silently, he praised Halloween for its dark atmospheres that didn't allow any blinding, painful lights. It was time to inspect the damage.

The tower was, to say the least, in a state of disarray. Drinks, decorations, articles of clothing, and people were scattered across the floor, making the whole place strongly resemble a battle ground. Silence permeated the entire place. It didn't seem to look like anyone was awake until Tony reached the kitchen, where Clint, Thor, and Natasha were nursing cups of coffee prepared by Steve and Tony's mysterious female guest (he never did catch her name).

"Coffee?" Steve asked, holding out a steaming mug to the man. Tony groped for it blindly and went to stand next to the woman with the dark hair who still looked as radiant as she had the night before, be it in a slightly disheveled way.

"Surprised to see you're still here," he said before taking a sip of his favorite caffeinated beverage. "Most girls take off and leave."

"I'm not most girls," she purred, giving Tony a sly look that made him feel just a little bit uneasy.

"Yeah, right. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that..."

"You don't seem to understand, Stark," she said, smiling. She closed her eyes, and then suddenly, the [i]she[/i] was a [i]he[/i]. More specifically, [i]he[/i] was a particular god, one that had been missing for most of the night.

"Loki?!" The cry was a collective of nearly everyone in the room.

At this, the room erupted into chaos. Tony was choking on his coffee and spluttering in surprise. Thor was roaring about Tony defiling his dear brother. Clint was laughing too hard to breathe, and Natasha was holding back a smile and trying not coax air into the man's lungs. Steve had a look of horror and utter shock contorting his features. Loki merely looked smug.

"[i]You[/i]?" Tony exclaimed. "That was [i]you[/i] last night?! But there were..." He motioned at his chest.

"Shape shifting is very simple for me, Mr. Stark."

The horrified look didn't leave the other man's face.

"Man, this is great. Just wait until everyone hears about this one. A superhero sleeping with a super villain. That is priceless," Clint snickered. He earned a glare from Thor and Tony for his statement.

"Brother, what is the meaning of this chicanery?" Thor demanded in his angry, booming voice. He glared at his brother, silently fuming.

"It was Halloween, was it not?" he asked with an unnervingly innocent smile. "It is the holiday dedicated to costumes and scheming. After Mr. Stark informed me of this glorious day and proceeded to purchase a woman's costume for me, I concluded that I would play the part."

"I didn't buy you a woman's costume!" Tony cried in defiance.

"You didn't? Surely you saw what I was wearing last night?"

"All I did was grab a costume off the rack that was in your size. It had that picture of the one you wanted on the front," Tony stated, although he knew it was too late for any arguments. The deed had already been done.

"What is that phrase you Midgardians are so fond of?" the god asked. "Trick-or-treat? I seem to have earned both."

No one responded to him, but the silence was enough. The general mood of the room was shock and regret at telling Loki about the holiday dedicated to Pagan gods and trickery. They should have known better than to encourage his interest in it.

"If you will excuse me, I have some matters to take care of," Loki said with a smile, and at that, disappeared. Silence laid heavily in the room, making everyone somewhat uncomfortable.

Finally, Tony got up and walked toward the door, but before he left, he turned and said, "This... this doesn't need to leave the room. Capice?"

The next day, the story was in the tabloids, courtesy of an anonymous source going by the pseudonym of Reindeer Games.

Comments

This is so funny. (_:

Natasha Barton Natasha Barton
10/6/16
I laughed so much :') good job
LocoForLoki LocoForLoki
11/27/13