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Kiss With a Fist

I Can’t Escape This Mask Because the Mask is Wearing Me

Noel; earlier that night

I look at myself in the mirror, not knowing who I am. After leaving the agency most of us had an identity crisis; none of us were really the same when we first joined. The brown hair and brown eyes are mine; that much I can recognize. But the look in my eyes is foreign to me; it’s something I don’t recognize. The look that of a jaded person that’s seen a lot of shit in their years; I probably have but I just don’t remember it. The agency was never too fond of us remembering anything of our prior missions; that much I remember. I faintly remember being hooked up to a machine that wipes everything away. My main personality remained intact but whoever I was acting like died. I can still hear the screaming in my head and the pain I was put through. A few tears escape my lips as I think about my past. I was desperate back then; desperate enough to join an agency so horrible…

”Are you sure you want to do this Noel?” The woman before me asks in a British accent. “When you sign that paper you turn yourself over to us for 5 years. In those five years you’ll do as we say.”

“And you’ll give me enough money to help my family out?” I ask, desperate to get money to help my mom and brothers out. “My mom just had surgery and the government is threatening to take away the house.”

“We’ll deal with them.” She assures with a smile. “Just sign your name on the dotted line.”

I bite my lower lip as I pick up the pen and sign my name on the piece of paper, “I hope I didn’t make a huge mistake.”

“These next five years will fly by, don’t worry.” The woman smiles before walking off; leaving me there in my own thoughts…

At the party

“You know, Stark start looking up your information.” Barton informs as he, Natasha and myself sit at the bar. “Apparently he found nothing at all.”

“The agency I worked for made sure that our files were under strict lock and key when we joined.” I informed them. “All my current files along with my previous file were burned when the agency went under.”

“So you’re basically no one.” Natasha muses. “How did you even get on SHIELD’s radar?”

“I had a breakdown.” I shrug. “With all the shit I’ve been through, it was bound to happen. I barely know who I am let alone what I’m suppose to do. One thing lead to another and I broke down and attacked several innocent people. Fury had me under lock down for a couple months before he gave me a job.”

“What was the agency you worked for?” Natasha asks. “And how can it be more of a secret than SHIELD.”

“Can we not talk about this anymore?” I ask with a pleading tone. “It brings back horrible memories. They brainwashed me and forced me to do whatever they wanted. The things they asked me to do varied from romantic weekends with married politicians to work for the FBI; I’m the worst kind of agent. I’m a chameleon….”


chapter title credit: Torture by Picture Me Broken.


CONTINUE I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JenoWatina JenoWatina
I wonder what Tony will find on her. I hope that him sleuthing through her background doesnt cause a rift in the team.
neon.band.aids. neon.band.aids.
What did Tony find?! Or did he overhear? Gosh, I want to know!!
thatsrealjazzy thatsrealjazzy
I wonder what's up with him. Maybe he knows... Or maybe he found something in her room.... Only way for us to know is if you update!
neon.band.aids. neon.band.aids.
The story is intriguing! I'm excited for your updates!
thatsrealjazzy thatsrealjazzy