Can't Handle This
Chapter 16
That night, Pamplemousse was brave enough to sleep in her own bed. The next morning, however, Thor’s face a few inches from hers startled her.
As she yelped, a smile spread across the god’s face. “Good morning, my friend!” he said in a hushed, yet booming voice. “The day is young, and I wish for another game of what you call ‘hide and finding.’”
“No, it’s hide and seek,” she mumbled as she tried to roll over on her side. “What time is it?”
“It is four in the morning, grapefruit,” he said, still smiling.
“That’s not morning!” she whined.
“It is for Loki and myself! My brother wishes to join us in our game. He believes that a competition needs to be set to see who the better hider is indeed!”
Pamplemousse grumbled. “I don’t like him this early. He’s mean.”
“Please, my friend. I ask that you join us this one time, than you may go back to rest.”
The young girl groaned as she sat up in bed, looking disheveled. “Can I has a PopTart in return?”
Thor looked at Pamplemousse and for a second, his smile faltered as he realized what she was doing. “You wish to eat some of my delicious PopTarts?” She nodded once, and Thor looked almost heartbroken. “Yes,” he finally said. “You may have some of my PopTarts.”
“Yay!” she exclaimed as she crawled out from her warm, comfortable bed.
Ten minutes later, after Pamplemousse finished her toaster pastries, Thor was searching the mansion for his new friend and his brother.
“Loki?” he called out. “Young Grapefruit?”
Loki and Pamplemousse ran through the darkened hallways as quietly as possible.
“How is it that you believe you can beat me at my own game? You’re small and insignificant.”
“I can hide places where you can’t fit,” she retorted. “That’s why I’m the best!”
Loki rolled his eyes. “Yes, you can,” he muttered with a smirk. “But I can do this!” And with that, the Asgardian disappeared into thin air.
“That’s not fair!” she exclaimed quietly. “You can’t turn ‘imvismobile!’”
****
CJ woke up at eight in the morning to the smell of Brooke brewing a hot pot of coffee. As the teen shuffled into the kitchen, she saw her friend leaning against the counter with her iPod in her hand.
“It’s too early for this shit,” she mumbled. “I couldn’t sleep last night so I just started reading a bunch of fan fiction.”
CJ chuckled and sat at the island. “What kind of fic are you reading?”
“A Wincest fic,” she replied with an evil grin. “A smutty one that takes place right after Cas disappeared into the lake. Sam is trying to be the comforting little brother, but ends up romantically taking Dean from Castiel forever. It’s almost…sad.”
CJ nodded once and stood up. “I’m thirsty,” she muttered as she walked to the fridge. “Oh, look!” she said with joy as she pulled out a bottle. “Grapefruit juice! My favorite!”
****
Thor stumbled into the kitchen. He had been searching for Loki and Pamplemousse for almost four hours with no success of even finding a trace. He looked at the two friends standing in the room. The fair skinned, black haired one was looking at her small television while CJ sipped some kind of pinkish liquid from an elegant looking glass.
“Tell me, my friend,” he said as he gestured to CJ. “What kind of drink is that?”
CJ took a swig and smiled. “It’s delicious grapefruit juice!”
Thor felt his heart sink as rage filled his body.
****
Steve woke up to the sound of screams echoing throughout the house. Grabbing his shield, he bolted out of his room and headed towards the sounds of despair.
Steve turned the corner to the kitchen and saw Thor, hammer in hand, lifting CJ off the ground.
“You’ve killed her, haven’t you?!” the god shouted in rage. “Haven’t you?!”
CJ tried to speak, but couldn’t over shouts of Brooke.
“She didn’t!” Brooke screamed at Thor. “She didn’t!”
Toni and Tony stopped directly behind Steve with Bruce and Clint following close behind. “What the hell is going on?” Stark asked in haste.
“This harlot has killed my friend!” Thor shouted as tears came to his eyes. “She has killed the young grapefruit!”
CJ frantically shook her head, looking terrified.
“CJ killed Pamplemousse?!” Bruce exclaimed in shock, while looking slightly hurt.
“No she didn’t!” Brooke shouted again. “She didn’t!”
“Lies!” Thor screamed. “She said she was drinking grapefruit juice! She has killed my friend and turned her to liquid form!”
Bruce relaxed ever so slightly as Tony let out a sigh of relief. “Well, if that’s all-“
The billionaire was interrupted by Mjölnir to the chest. He fell to the ground, with the immoveable hammer pinning him down.
“That is not all!” he shouted, sounding more sad as he went on. “She has killed my friend, and you act like it’s nothing!”
“Thor, wait!” Pamplemousse shouted as she ran into the kitchen. She got close enough to hug him around the leg. “I’m fine! She didn’t kill me this time!”
Thor immediately dropped CJ and picked up Pamplemousse, hugging her as closely as possible without crushing her little body. “I feared for the worst, young Grapefruit!” he said as he started to sob. “I thought she had killed you!”
She hugged him back and started to cry while mumbling something incoherent.
Tony’s groans of displeasure broke Thor and Pamplemousse out of their friendship embrace.
“Man of Iron!” Thor shouted in glee. “Let me help you!”
“Yeah, please do,” he muttered. “This is very uncomfortable.”
Thor lifted his hammer off Tony with enough ease and grace to look like the immoveable weapon weighed less than a paperweight. As the god helped his friend off the ground, Loki ran around the corner, smiling like a small child on Christmas morning.
“I am victorious!” he shouted to the skies. “I am indeed the best hider of them all!”
“Nuh uh!” Pamplemousse retorted quickly. “Thor was gonna kill CJ! That’s cheating!”
“You gave up!” the god of mischief replied. “Therefore, I am the best!”
Pamplemousse and Loki continued to shout at each other in a nonsensical fashion, Tony started to rub his temples as if he was developing a migraine, and Bruce just looked relieved that Thor had been wrong.
“Oh for god’s sake,” Brooke groaned. When nobody responded, she shouted at all of them. “Shut the hell up!”
The kitchen fell silent as they all turned towards Brooke. “What?” she demanded. “You expect me to function with all that bullshit?”
Toni sighed and stepped forward. “Ya know, maybe we should all get out of the house today. I mean, we’ve all been cooped up in here for a couple days now.”
“She’s right,” Tony said with a smile. “We’ll go out and have fun today, my treat!”
“What about the tests?” Clint asked accusingly.
“The tests we’re still waiting on will take about forty-eight hours to fully develop,” Bruce added. “We’ll have plenty of time to kill.”
“Great!” Tony said as Natasha walked in. “We’ll all go out today and do something exciting and fun!”
“Can we go to Sea World?!” Tasha asked with a smile.
“Sea World?” Clint asked in shock. “But that’s so far away! How are we even-“
“Tony could charter one of his jets,” Bruce added.
“I wanna go to Sea World!” Pamplemousse exclaimed.
Tony sighed with a smile on his face as he dug his cell out of his pocket.
As she yelped, a smile spread across the god’s face. “Good morning, my friend!” he said in a hushed, yet booming voice. “The day is young, and I wish for another game of what you call ‘hide and finding.’”
“No, it’s hide and seek,” she mumbled as she tried to roll over on her side. “What time is it?”
“It is four in the morning, grapefruit,” he said, still smiling.
“That’s not morning!” she whined.
“It is for Loki and myself! My brother wishes to join us in our game. He believes that a competition needs to be set to see who the better hider is indeed!”
Pamplemousse grumbled. “I don’t like him this early. He’s mean.”
“Please, my friend. I ask that you join us this one time, than you may go back to rest.”
The young girl groaned as she sat up in bed, looking disheveled. “Can I has a PopTart in return?”
Thor looked at Pamplemousse and for a second, his smile faltered as he realized what she was doing. “You wish to eat some of my delicious PopTarts?” She nodded once, and Thor looked almost heartbroken. “Yes,” he finally said. “You may have some of my PopTarts.”
“Yay!” she exclaimed as she crawled out from her warm, comfortable bed.
Ten minutes later, after Pamplemousse finished her toaster pastries, Thor was searching the mansion for his new friend and his brother.
“Loki?” he called out. “Young Grapefruit?”
Loki and Pamplemousse ran through the darkened hallways as quietly as possible.
“How is it that you believe you can beat me at my own game? You’re small and insignificant.”
“I can hide places where you can’t fit,” she retorted. “That’s why I’m the best!”
Loki rolled his eyes. “Yes, you can,” he muttered with a smirk. “But I can do this!” And with that, the Asgardian disappeared into thin air.
“That’s not fair!” she exclaimed quietly. “You can’t turn ‘imvismobile!’”
****
CJ woke up at eight in the morning to the smell of Brooke brewing a hot pot of coffee. As the teen shuffled into the kitchen, she saw her friend leaning against the counter with her iPod in her hand.
“It’s too early for this shit,” she mumbled. “I couldn’t sleep last night so I just started reading a bunch of fan fiction.”
CJ chuckled and sat at the island. “What kind of fic are you reading?”
“A Wincest fic,” she replied with an evil grin. “A smutty one that takes place right after Cas disappeared into the lake. Sam is trying to be the comforting little brother, but ends up romantically taking Dean from Castiel forever. It’s almost…sad.”
CJ nodded once and stood up. “I’m thirsty,” she muttered as she walked to the fridge. “Oh, look!” she said with joy as she pulled out a bottle. “Grapefruit juice! My favorite!”
****
Thor stumbled into the kitchen. He had been searching for Loki and Pamplemousse for almost four hours with no success of even finding a trace. He looked at the two friends standing in the room. The fair skinned, black haired one was looking at her small television while CJ sipped some kind of pinkish liquid from an elegant looking glass.
“Tell me, my friend,” he said as he gestured to CJ. “What kind of drink is that?”
CJ took a swig and smiled. “It’s delicious grapefruit juice!”
Thor felt his heart sink as rage filled his body.
****
Steve woke up to the sound of screams echoing throughout the house. Grabbing his shield, he bolted out of his room and headed towards the sounds of despair.
Steve turned the corner to the kitchen and saw Thor, hammer in hand, lifting CJ off the ground.
“You’ve killed her, haven’t you?!” the god shouted in rage. “Haven’t you?!”
CJ tried to speak, but couldn’t over shouts of Brooke.
“She didn’t!” Brooke screamed at Thor. “She didn’t!”
Toni and Tony stopped directly behind Steve with Bruce and Clint following close behind. “What the hell is going on?” Stark asked in haste.
“This harlot has killed my friend!” Thor shouted as tears came to his eyes. “She has killed the young grapefruit!”
CJ frantically shook her head, looking terrified.
“CJ killed Pamplemousse?!” Bruce exclaimed in shock, while looking slightly hurt.
“No she didn’t!” Brooke shouted again. “She didn’t!”
“Lies!” Thor screamed. “She said she was drinking grapefruit juice! She has killed my friend and turned her to liquid form!”
Bruce relaxed ever so slightly as Tony let out a sigh of relief. “Well, if that’s all-“
The billionaire was interrupted by Mjölnir to the chest. He fell to the ground, with the immoveable hammer pinning him down.
“That is not all!” he shouted, sounding more sad as he went on. “She has killed my friend, and you act like it’s nothing!”
“Thor, wait!” Pamplemousse shouted as she ran into the kitchen. She got close enough to hug him around the leg. “I’m fine! She didn’t kill me this time!”
Thor immediately dropped CJ and picked up Pamplemousse, hugging her as closely as possible without crushing her little body. “I feared for the worst, young Grapefruit!” he said as he started to sob. “I thought she had killed you!”
She hugged him back and started to cry while mumbling something incoherent.
Tony’s groans of displeasure broke Thor and Pamplemousse out of their friendship embrace.
“Man of Iron!” Thor shouted in glee. “Let me help you!”
“Yeah, please do,” he muttered. “This is very uncomfortable.”
Thor lifted his hammer off Tony with enough ease and grace to look like the immoveable weapon weighed less than a paperweight. As the god helped his friend off the ground, Loki ran around the corner, smiling like a small child on Christmas morning.
“I am victorious!” he shouted to the skies. “I am indeed the best hider of them all!”
“Nuh uh!” Pamplemousse retorted quickly. “Thor was gonna kill CJ! That’s cheating!”
“You gave up!” the god of mischief replied. “Therefore, I am the best!”
Pamplemousse and Loki continued to shout at each other in a nonsensical fashion, Tony started to rub his temples as if he was developing a migraine, and Bruce just looked relieved that Thor had been wrong.
“Oh for god’s sake,” Brooke groaned. When nobody responded, she shouted at all of them. “Shut the hell up!”
The kitchen fell silent as they all turned towards Brooke. “What?” she demanded. “You expect me to function with all that bullshit?”
Toni sighed and stepped forward. “Ya know, maybe we should all get out of the house today. I mean, we’ve all been cooped up in here for a couple days now.”
“She’s right,” Tony said with a smile. “We’ll go out and have fun today, my treat!”
“What about the tests?” Clint asked accusingly.
“The tests we’re still waiting on will take about forty-eight hours to fully develop,” Bruce added. “We’ll have plenty of time to kill.”
“Great!” Tony said as Natasha walked in. “We’ll all go out today and do something exciting and fun!”
“Can we go to Sea World?!” Tasha asked with a smile.
“Sea World?” Clint asked in shock. “But that’s so far away! How are we even-“
“Tony could charter one of his jets,” Bruce added.
“I wanna go to Sea World!” Pamplemousse exclaimed.
Tony sighed with a smile on his face as he dug his cell out of his pocket.
Chapter 28 is sad because Cj says "Let's just say I've got red in my ledger and I physically cannot wipe it out.". That's sad because Natasha says that in Avengers.
10/17/16