LACIE'S POV

Confounded, that's the word. Not shocked, surprised or confused. No, I'm confounded. It's the only word that correctly applies to this situation. It's the closest thing to what I'm feeling, which can't actually be put into words, and it sounds smart. Which is important when you find out that your father is Tony Stark: genius, playboy, billionaire, inventor, sarcastic asshole and Iron Man. Confounded is the closest I'm going to get.

He's sitting there, looking at me with this half smirk that's not really covering the fact that this is awkward as hell. Designer suit, Italian shoes, reflective sunglasses and a scruffy goatee. Great, my dad is an older, slightly darker version of Johnny with facial hair.

"So? 20 Questions? You in or out?" he asks, keeping his voice detached and amused at the same time.

I examine him for a second. "Fine. But call your backup first."

"You got it, kid. One second." He pulls out his phone, translucent, top of the line Stark Tech. "JARVIS?"

"Yes, sir?" an automated voice spills out of the phone. So, he has his own Roberta? Cool.

"Call the Green Machine, for me."

"Right away, sir. But might I remind you that Dr. Banner is currently in a meeting with SHIELD and the rest of The Avengers? And, seeing that, it was a meeting you were to attend but gave no reason for skipping, not even to Miss Potts, that you might wish to refrain from calling."

"JARVIS, buddy. I'm not going sit around in an elevator for hours, no matter the company, while I wait for Spangles and the One Eyed Wonder to finish whatever debriefing they're currently having."

"Yes, sir. I'll call right away. But let the record show, I did warn you, Mr. Stark." that sounded a bit snarky. Oh dear lord, was he arrogant enough to give his AI feelings? No, he's not that stupid, he can't be. But if I start living like a mountain man to avoid technology when it takes over the world? No one is allowed to judge me.

A contact pops up on the screen, Dr.Banner and Mr. Hulk. Wow. This guy...he and Johnny would be best friends. It's a disturbing thought, almost sobering in fact. Huh. Maybe this will put me past Hothead, the fact that he is so like my father.

Hmm, no. Johnny is still-

I take it back. I am not doing this right now!

I softly let out a breathe as Tony calls his backup.

One ring

Two

Three

Four

Then-

"Tony. Where are you?" comes an exasperated voice from the phone. Obviously male, tired sounding and I can almost hear him pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. I like this voice-guy.

"In a small, enclosed space." Okay, biological father, not that small a space. This elevator was reinforced to carry Ben around.

Pause."I'm sorry, what?"

"In an elevator, actually."

Sigh from the receiver."Tony-"

"In the Baxter Building."

"Dr. Richards' building? T-"

"And, to be even more specific, with my biological daughter. "

Dr. Banner sucked air in sharply," What? Tony, when did y-"

"Two days ago. SHEILD let it slip. Galaga Guy was trying to impress me and he mentioned a child they had been tracking. She just so happened to be mine, that's why they were keeping tabs on her. The daughter of the world's largest weapon's dealer could be worth something someday, then I became Iron Man. So, yeah. I am clearly the center of everything. That is what we can take from all of this."

"Tony...Is that why you've been-"

"Cutting you off before you can say something that can give away what's going on? Yes, it is Banner. Now, we could use some help."

"...Alright. We'll come over. What fl-"

"Between six and eleven, I do believe. And, hurry." His glance flashes to me, but he swallows sharply and doesn't make eye contact. Trust me, Tony. I don't like this anymore than you.

"Tony, Richards is here. I can see him through the glass, in the room next to our lab. Should he-"

"No."

"Tony, he-"

"No, Bruce." his voice drops slightly "Please, just let me do this."

A loud, breathy sigh comes through the speaker "Okay, Tony. It'll be an hour. About an hour. What should I-"

"Tell them what you think you should. You're a big boy, you've got it Big Man."

And Tony hangs up. Well, that was fun.

We just sit there. For about 10 minutes. We scoot around, looking for the most comfortable spot. Which just so happen to be facing each other from across the 'tiny' elevator. He stares at the bottom of my sandals. I examine the paneling behind him.

We're the most exciting family ever.

This has got to end. I can't take another 50 minutes of the 'who-can-make-it-the-most-awkward' game.

"What's your favorite color?" Tony's head snaps up at my voice, his eyes leaving the tracing of the soles of my sandals.

"What?" he asks, looking stupidly stunned.

"What. Is. Your. Favorite. Color?"

Tony looks at me for a second, consideration and something else in his eyes. "Red."

Big surprise, I should have thought. Iron Man, of course.

"What are you going to school for?" this time I raise my eyebrows. Huh, his wasn't as stupid as mine. He actually sounds interested. And, he apparently knows how old I am. Stupid secret government agencies.

" I'm double majoring in Foreign Culture Studies and English." I think for a second before adding " I'm taking classes online, Reed set some things up for me last month."

That gets an eyebrow raise? Well, okay then.

"Well, at least you're not lazy, or ugly."He added the second part as an after thought. Thanks, absent father figure.

You had a father figure. You had Reed. And, Ben even...
I guess...hey, why am I hearing things so often now?
You're more open to things now. More receiving to everything.
Well okay, then. I'm starting to have actual conversations with myself, or the normally sexual voice is right and I'm talking to something else. Awesome. Time to sign up for the crazy house, I hope I can reserve a room with a view.

"Who's JARVIS?" dumb, stupid question.

"He's my artificial intelligence system. He runs everything in my, well, everything. Car, house, suit."

He thinks for a second, twitching slightly where he sits. Obviously, a fidget-worthy question is coming up.

"Who's your mom?"

Wow, um. Okay. Well, I guess he is Tony Stark and he does sleep around a lot.

"Renee Charles." He thinks about it for a second, rubbing his fingers across his goatee. Something flickers in his eyes and he sits a little straighter.

"Blue eyes, blonde hair. She was...22 when you would have been born. Right?" I nod slightly, my stomach starting to clench violently when I think of her.

She did have blue eyes, darker blonde hair but she wasn't the same 21 year old Tony had known briefly. She couldn't have been.
I still have a picture of her, from when I was two. She had long dirty blonde hair, a soft smile and only a little wear on her features. It must have been before she meet Garret. Before she cut her hair down to a shagged bob. Before her smile turned into a pained grimace, before she stopped caring. Before she started hating me.

No. I'm not doing this, ever.

"So, who's-" I'm about to ask who's coming to rescue us but the people in question interrupt. A slightly older man with tan skin and dark curly hair and glasses, a red head in a catsuit( stupid secret government agencies) and... Johnny?

No, not Johnny. But he looks a lot like him. Dark blonde hair, ,sky blue eyes and a strong, defined jaw. But he was definitely different. He was maybe a little taller than Johnny's 6'0", he was more muscular where Johnny was lithe and he didn't have the patented "I-know-I'm-gorgeous-and-I-know-you-want-me" smirk. Refreshing actually. That face was actually, kind of, endearing without it.

"Stark, why didn-" the Doppelganger began but Tony cut him off.

"I was stuck in an elevator, Captain Underwear. I couldn't exactly fly over to band practice in my Iron Man suit, now could I?" Tony says, looking annoyed. It looks like they don't have the best relationship.

Dr. Banner looks at me strangely, " So..."

I wave slightly, my face flushing red. What is it with people today? Either they're driving me insane or making me feel the need to learn how to disappear into the floor.

Tony quickly catches the look on Cat Woman(like really, who wears a suit like that when they aren't fighting crime or having kinky sex) and the doppelganger's face. They both have the look that they're realizing that I'm here and "hey-who-are-you-and-should-we-interrogate-you?" expression. But, then Tony does something that makes me want to hit him and die of embarrassment at the same time.

"Oh, her? This is Bruce's girlfriend. I just remembered that we sent her over to talk to Dr. Richards for us and that he wasn't home. I thought that she would be a little bit more compelling seeing as she's Richard's kid." So, I came to stop her so she wouldn't waste time because she's the girlfriend of my science bro and that makes her family. And, I didn't want them to have to give up anytime sexy time just for me and my ego. Big guy needs to let of a little steam, you know, and sex is better than turning into an enormous green rage monster."

What. The. Absolute. Hell?!

I look at my 'boyfriend' before switching my gaze to the two others. Cat Woman is staring at me in amusement with her head cocked to the side. The Doppleganger is blushing, something else Johnny has never done. But all I can think is about the man who claims to be my father, even though he just pimped me out to his science bro,

I hate superheros.