Felicity curled into Loki, still clearly sleeping away from another night of intensity. She was so lost in her sleep she wasn't dreaming anymore. Her body was worn out, but completely relaxed. Any more of that, and she'd be a puddle, completely unable to walk or do much of anything. She smiled just slightly in her sleep, before Loki stirring just slightly roused her from her sleep. She blinked her eyes open and yawned lightly, wanting to just continuing sleeping as if the world wasn't going to end.
“You need to rise, Felicity.”He said softly.
“Ten minutes.”She mumbled lightly, still not completely alert.
“Come now.”He chided lightly, though she could hear the smile in his voice.
“I don't have to now....I did last night.”She mumbled, before stopping and huffing. She actually said that out loud, really.
“Ah...aren't you just chipper this morning.”He said, giving a roar of a laugh that made her heart skip a beat. She wasn't the only one apparently.
Felicity finally sat up and yawned a bit. She was sure that things would only get better from here, they had to. She tilted her head so that she was looking down at a very relaxed Loki. She reached down and brushed her hand across his cheek. He reached up and took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“What's happening?”He asked, his voice soft, as if this were something so private that the angels shouldn't be listening in.
“What do you mean?”She replied with a question of her own.
“What are we doing?”He continued, trying to get the right words out.
“We're...I don't know...I don't know what we're doing, Loki.”She answered honestly,”If this were a different life, I could probably give you a much clearer answer, but this...us...me...I don't know.”
“You speak as if there is something wrong with you.”Loki replied as he sat up slowly, watching her carefully.
“You're not the only one that keeps the worst hidden from view.”She countered,”I'm not broken, simply human.”
“Felicity...”Loki started but frowned turning almost completely away from her, causing a lump to form in her throat, one that she couldn't explain as she reached out to touch him.
“Don't....don't do that.”She said softly,”I'm just not used to feeling...feeling any of this.”
“What do you mean....what you're feeling?”He asked as he turned to face her again,”Felicity....I am the one that should be challenged....being human....you can live in such bliss from real agony.”
“For a god you're naive to think that I don't know what true agony is...but tell me....what is it that you feel, what do you think of this?”She replied easily, as she kept her hand on his arm, not wanting to see him pull away from her again. She was certain something like that would kill her.
“I know....I am aware of myself right now....I have not known you as long as one should to feel this way....We're almost strangers....almost...but there is a light in you, something that draws me to you, makes me feel....alive again.”He said softly as he looked down,”And I want so badly to rebel....to fight it....fight you....push you away....but I can not.”
Felicity wasn't sure how to react to this. He was more vulnerable then she knew an individual could be in one moment. She could see that he was damaged, much like her. She kept her hand right where it was, her fingers drawing circles against his skin, waiting to see if he would finish his thought.
“Felicity...you're a mere mortal, and yet...I am at your mercy, but unlike many others in your position, you do not take advantage of that...I-I...”He said, his eyes wide as he met her gaze, unsure if he should really finish what he was saying.
“Loki...”She said, trying to ease this a little,”They said you were bad....and I have proven them wrong, I saw a good in you....I saw....”
This was a clear struggle for both of them, trying to explain their emotions in a very coherent way to each other. Felicity was struggling having to face a reality where she could love again. Loki, was merely facing his demons all at once in this room.
“I have...I am...”Loki continued, struggling to get the words out.
“I...You're just...and...”Felicity also stumbled over her words, frowning just slightly.
“I love you.”The both finally said at the same time, eyes wide at this. Was it really that hard to just be honest with each other. Clearly so. Felicity felt her heart in her throat, there was that moment again, where she was dizzy, she couldn't breath, and it was because of someone, that in another life time, would probably be the enemy. Or would he? She doubted it. In this very moment, as he turned and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, his lips finding hers with ease and comfort, she was sure she could live a thousand lives and love this God over and over again,without a moment's hesitation.
“You have awoken something inside me I thought long dead.”Loki whispered against her lips.
“You've saved me twice now...”She whispered back before kissing him again.
Felicity flashed back to when she was a kid. Six years old. She was just getting off the school bus and outside her home there was cops, and the fire department, there was two ambulances. There was commotion everywhere, and the neighbors all stood gawking at what was going on. She remembered the fear, the absolute and unmatched terror that struck her as she ran forward. She ducked under the police tape and was running straight for her house, screaming for her mommy, her daddy, somebody. A cop tried to catch her before it was too late, but alas, she had just barely evaded them. She ran inside, and the blood. All of the blood. She stood, shock almost blinding her little body. They had not completely covered her mothers face, and as Felicity, small and having once been simply innocent, looked upon her mother, a blood curdling scream ripped through her. That was the moment that love died. The moment when she was sure that no one would ever want her. Her own mother didn't want her, to the point that she had shot her father and then herself in a mad fit of rage. Over what? Felicity still did not know. The wounds were still though, Twenty two years later, open and raw. It had caused so many problems for her. A failed marriage, losing two children still in the womb, her distancing herself from the family that tried to raise her, a distance so great she did not even go to her grandmother's funeral. The wounds were not instantly healed in the moment that Loki said that he loved her, but Felicity felt hope, for once, there was a hope that she could heal, that she could be something more then what she was. She could love, she could completely and totally trust someone without fear of loss. Twenty-two years of carrying a burden that was not hers, everything felt light, like the weight was lifting, disappearing with all her other fears as they kissed as if they had been lovers their whole existence.
Loki slowly pulled away after a moment, taking her face, cupping it gently in his hands, meeting her gaze, a crooked, loving smile on his face. She had fixed what all had assumed was completely broken. Was there things that Loki would always be haunted by, of course, that was how it was when you made one drastic terrible decision after another, but he felt, for once, that he could breath, a truly free God, nothing to hold him back at this point but himself.
There was a silence that filled the room, both just watching the other, curiosity over what to do next, what the following step was suppose to be. Nothing drastic until this fight was over, until he had freed himself, with the help of his brother, from the blood oath he'd taken with the Jotun. Felicity worried that it would all be for nothing, but she couldn't let that bother her to a point of fear right now, because there had finally been a moment of clarity for her, and it was sitting, naked, on her bed right now. She was going to be okay, they would be okay.