Choices

Chapter 107
'He doesn't understand. He doesn't care.'
Loki tossed in his sleep as his voice echo'd through his nightmare. Visions of Odin assaulted his mind. Memories of the past that Loki couldn't actually remember happening but the anger was vivid.
'I deserve better than this life. Thor is weak,'
Loki forced his eyes open, waking from his dream. They didn't happen often, but when they did he woke caked in sweat and anger boiling through his veins.
He jumped to his feet in his darkened prison and paced. He tried to wipe away the things he'd been dreaming. Tried to forget his pains and worries, but something nagged at him.
A guard walked by and Loki stopped pacing. The guard could most likely only see his outline, but Loki glared all the same. When the guard moved on, Loki sat in his chair and exhaled.
He fingered his ring finger, devoid of its wedding ring. A precaution he'd taken when he'd come in contact with The Other's. A way to keep his wife safe. Cephera had enough troubles, she didn't need his added to them.
His anger slowly ebbed away, but the pain of his current life still clung to him. He wasn't even in prison a year and already it seemed like a lifetime.
He wished he had some way to see her. A bit of magic even to gaze upon his loving wife's face. She must be almost near birth now. He'd love to see her as a mother, a true birth mother.
His anger over that whole fiasco was still there, but he couldn't hate her and he wouldn't hate the child. He'd take up mantle as the father, just as she had taken up mother to his children.
What a complicated life they have led. So many turns in their futures, but still they remained strong. Life seemed to have struggled to rip them apart, and almost had.
The pregnancy had been the only thing to keep Odin from nullifying the marriage and separating them for good.
It was true that in a way they were still separated, but at least she was still his and he was hers.
Thanos would come for the ending to their deal for it did not end with his capture on Midgard. There was planning yet to be done and Cephera would never be safe until the titan was dead.
That was Loki's goal. He knew Thanos' word was not to be trusted. He knew that all the promises he'd made to give Loki Asgard to rule were nothing but empty.
His alliance with Thanos did not ensure Asgard's safety.
He could tell Odin about Thanos' plan, but Loki knew Odin would not believe a word he said. He was on his own to save his home.
He screwed up. Attacking Jotunhiem sealed his fate. Loki had only been trying to clean up his mess, cleaning up Thor's. He had time to reflect and he knew he'd gone about it wrong.
Back then it seemed to make sense.
Back then he'd been trying to prove himself worthy of the throne his mother had placed upon him and to protect Asgard. But he'd also panicked.
He set in motion all those events and scrambled to pick up the pieces. When Thanos found him, Loki was so determined to get back home that he made him a deal he couldn't refuse. Refusal would mean Asgard would see ruin, and so too would everyone who lived there.
Loki went along with it. He did what he did best and pretended to be on board. He didn't care about the rest of the universe, but Asgard held everything that was dear to him and he would not see it fall.
When the time came, and his motives would come to light, he knew he would still not be completely trusted. He knew Odin would not accept the full truth.
His mother, however, would believe it and so would his wife. For Loki, they were all that mattered. Even Thor might find it in him to trust him, but it was doubtful.
After his attack on Midgard and his previous attempt to kill Thor, why should Thor trust him.
Loki had gotten carried away. He'd never been able to win a fight against Thor. Knocking him around as a human had been more fun than he'd expected. Death had never been at the forefront of his mind, but somewhere in the back a whisper had egged him on.
Sometimes even Loki was afraid of what he was becoming.
He worried that when all this was over, if it was ever over, that he would be such a different man that not even Cephera would continue to love him.
(Sigyn/Suvia)
She could remember happy moments in her life, but none that revolved around Loki. At no point in their marriage did he go out of his way to make her happy.
She'd been his trophy.
The woman who turned him down for marriage. She'd spurred him and in return he tricked her into marrying him by killing her long time love, Theoric.
His need to have her stemmed from greed, pride, and malice. It was never about love. She doubted he knew how to love, not the way this worlds Loki did.
Her happy moments were gained from her children, but alas they had died young and by then her and Loki were estranged.
Her marriage crumbled before it had even begun. He enjoyed her body, but took none of her affection. She'd tried many times to show him tenderness. She even came to love him despite his shortcomings.
She saw him as a man who just needed to learn to love. That it had been something he desperately needed to understand to be able to reciprocate.
That had been her naive self. She'd hoped for many decades that he'd change, but he never did.
She was no longer that naive young girl. In her age she knew now that Loki would never love her or anyone. His love was for the games he played and the unhappiness of others.
She was done talking and compromising. She was finished making excuses for him.
Sigyn was prepared to do whatever was needed to stop her husband from destroying this world. She had her plans set out.
The base of his advantage over everyone was his advanced knowledge of magic. She knew of only one way to strip him of all his power and that object was in Asgard.
Once she was prepared, she would go to Asgard and she would obtain Gungnir, Odin's powerful staff. She would use its power to harness her own and she would take her husband's magic from him for good.
It would be a betrayal of the worst kind, but it was one she was now willing to do. Once his magic was gone he could be safely secured, imprisoned, or executed.
The thought of execution turned her stomach. It was the one thing she dreaded. She had no desire to see him die, but if it came to that, so be it.
She was trapped in this world now. It would become her new home. There was nothing left of her world. Asgard lay barren, Midgard sat broken and the rest of the realms had no protection. Famine and war raged everywhere with no heros to step up to stop it.
Perhaps, when all this was over, she could find a new life. A quiet life, but not in Asgard.
She pondered what it might be like to live on Midgard. She even contemplated requesting that Odin give her mortality. However, because of her age she probably wouldn't be able to enjoy being a human so the thought was fleeting.
Thor had loved a human woman back in her world, but it didn't work out. Though he always loved Jane he was never one to be tied to one place. They remained friends until she passed away from cancer.
Thor remained unmarried till the very end. He never did get his chance at being Asgard's king for long before Loki took away all joy in their lives.
Sif had been his on and off lover, but never a wife. It was odd to know of their marriage here. Sigyn was amused by the differences between universes.
"You're awake early, Suvia," Cephera's father said approaching the couch where she sat.
Sigyn was aware at the kings playful tones. She smiled at him, he was a sweet man from what she'd seen so far. A little quirky, but sweet.
"I've always been early to wake and early to sleep." She replied.
He joined her on a couch further away but on an angle in which they could talk and see one another.
"I too rise early, but I tend to stay up late." He grinned. He still remained in his true form which fascinated her. She'd never seen one of his kind before. "So strange, I usually never forget a pretty face, but I can't seem to place your, though I know I've seen you before."
Sigyn tried not to shift in her chair. "Probably saw me across the room in Asgard. Or maybe in the gardens, I've always loved walks in the garden." He was persistent, that was for sure.
"Maybe. You must know my other daughter?" He lifted an eyebrow still digging for something.
"I never formally met Seraphina, but I know all about her from Cephera." Sigyn did shift this time. His gaze was slightly unnerving under the questions.
"Between the two of my girls Seraphina was the better actor. She could always cover up her schemes, but Cephera..., she's easier to read and I know she's hiding something. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"
Sigyn picked up her morning cup of tea to avoid fidgeting any further.
"If she is hiding anything she hasn't shared it with me." Sigyn made sure to not glance away as she lied. She learned from her husband that the best lies were told face to face without a flinch.
"She has a lot to worry about and any secrets and scheming she might have need to be put from her mind. She has a baby on the way. If she says anything of concern to you that could put her and her child in danger, would you tell me?"
"I wouldn't let her do anything that would harm her, or her unborn child." Sigyn promised. He eyed her with suspicion. She'd avoided promising to tell him. Wording was always key to any careful conversation.
"I'm glad to hear that. Though I'll probably be around for a while longer. She's gotten herself into quite the mess helping those humans." He looked agitated at the thought.
"It never hurts to prepare them." Sigyn thought of her world and how helpless the humans had been for what Loki wrought.
"Damn that imbecile Odin for sending her here to do it. She's loyal to a fault you know. Naive to many things that could hurt her too." He growled and made to hit the arm of the chair, but changed his mind and settled his fist softly down.
"She'll be fine. Cephera won't do anything that can harm her. She knows it's important for her baby to have its mother. She may be the things you say, but she's also responsible. Her child will come first in all things." Sigyn was sure of this.
From what she observed, watching them through her mirror back home, she knew Cephera was a good mother to the three children Loki bore. It would be no different with her very own.
"You're right," the King looked defeated. "I just worry. She's my baby." Sigyn nodded her understanding.
"Aren't you on vacation? Shouldn't you be relaxing?" Sigyn changed her tone to one of a lighter mood. King Yorin took a heavy breath.
"You're right again." He gave her a quick smirk. "Maybe I should try out that pool, care to join me." There was mischief in his voice.
"I'll come outside to enjoy the sun." She ignored his shift to a flirty mood. She'd known her share of flirtation men and they didn't bother her. Besides the King seemed harmless. He didn't look the type to overstep his boundaries unless invited to. And Sigyn didn't intend to extend that invite. After all, she was still a married woman and that meant something to her.

Notes