Choices

Chapter 115
"Big baby with tiny feet, and tiny hands." Cephera coo'd to her son as he peered up at her from the change table.
"Loki was smaller than him," Frigga said. "The size may be due to his Jotun genetics, though it's not unheard of for a child to be his size." She smiled.
"What will you do when you get back to Asgard?" Cephera didn't have to say more. She knew by the look of Frigga's face that she was aware of what Cephera meant.
"Sigyn..., Suvia," Frigga correct herself with a shake of her head. "It won't be long before she's mastered shape shifting. If her enchantment works, it won't be long before she can see through her Loki's disguise. Until then, I will just have to keep my eyes and ears open." Cephera noted the unsure sound in Frigga's tone.
"What is it?" Cephera asked picking up Ikol from the change table to lay him in his cradle.
"The things Suvia has told me, they chill me to the core. Never in all my time did I think Loki would be capable of such..., horrid acts. It makes me wonder what life he led that was so different to cause such a drastic difference." Cephera had never seen Frigga look so distraught.
She sat next to her mother-in-law and wrapped her arms around her. "We won't let him corrupt our Loki," Cephera assured the queen. "Whatever has happened to Sigyn's Loki are things we cannot mend or change, but we can help stop our Loki from heading in the same direction." Frigga squeezed Cephera back.
"To think, all these decades this Loki has gone unknown of, unseen. I doubt keeping a close eyes on anyone would grant me knowledge of who he is. He's clearly had time to establish his presence." The Queen gently pushed Cephera back and turned her head to look at Ikol.
She couldn't tell what Frigga was thinking, but it was something sad. The light in her usually kind and happy expression were gone.
"Will you tell Odin?" Cephera asked, chewing her lip. She worried the more who knew, the lesser chance they'd have a catching old Loki.
"He has much on his mind lately. I think it's best to wait. Right now there is nothing any of us can do. Not even Heimdall has seen anything suspicious happening within Asgard and Loki has gotten away with things before without Heimdall's knowledge. I think that right now is not the time to bring up concerns we are not ready to face." Cephera was relieved to hear it.
"Suvia has her plan, and she's willing to do whatever it takes to succeed." Frigga nodded.
"I will aide her in anyway I can." Frigga was still watching Ikol, who was almost completely asleep now.
"You're worried," Cephera noted.
"I worry for you, my grandchild, my sons." She admitted. "Much has happened over the years but all of this..., it's just a lot to think about."
"I know, but Suvia is adamant that her husband will have no interest in me or my child. His goal was most likely to just split me up from my husband." Cephera desperately wanted to put the queen at ease.
"I hope she's right. The main worry is for Asgard, I cannot stay her for longer than Odin has permitted. I must return home, but I hate to do so knowing I am leaving you unprotected." Frigga finally looked to Cephera and touched her face softly.
"I can protect myself. Plus I have SHIELD and Tony. If anything happens to me, they will not let Ikol be harmed. My father is here as well." Cephera smiled.
It was nice having her father around the baby, not so much around Pepper, Suvia, and Frigga.
After Ikol was born and everything had calmed down, King Yorin had made a pass on Frigga of all people.
"Has that old man of yours kick the bucket yet?" He'd asked. Frigga had looked asmused by his brazen words, but Cephera was just embarrassed.
"Let us enjoy the time we have together. I've missed you." Frigga smooth a hand over Cephera's hair and she nodded.
"Tell me about Loki," Cephera insisted. "How's he been?"
"He's stubborn," the queen responded. "And he remains hurt from the secrets and the lies. His mind will not be ready to mend until he is a free man and even then I'm unsure he'll ever forgive his father."
"Why did Odin lie? I never dared to ask when I had the chance." Cephera had always wondered. She couldn't wrap her head around it.
"Because he wanted to tell Loki when he was ready, but of course like most things in life, he never felt Loki was ready. Perhaps, it was my husband who was not ready. He felt that if Loki knew, or anyone else for that mater, that he'd be treated with disdain." Frigga replied.
"Then why take him at all?" Cephera curled her legs beneath her and got comfortable.
"First and foremost, he took Loki because he was a mere baby left to die. He took pity on him and made the choice to care for him. Despite what Loki believes, Odin felt a connection to him and later on loved him like his own. Secondly, Odin was hoping Loki could help forge a permanent peace with Jotunheim."
"Like marriage?" The thought disturbed Cephera.
"No," Frigga smiled. "Odin would never force either of his sons to marry for such a thing. He hoped that by having Loki grow up in Asgard he could show the Jotuns that we mean them no ill will. That we can learn to accept them. He hoped that one day Loki could learn of his people and forge connections between us all." Frigga frowned and considered something.
"What?" Cephera asked.
"Even though we tried to raise them to be just, I'm afraid that as they grew and tales of what the Jotuns did, plus the War Odin fought them in caused hatred to form. They were stories told to children and though I did not pass them on, servants would say them and other children. I suppose, in a way, Loki was set up from a young age to hate who he was. His knowledge of the truth would have always been this difficult."
"You couldn't have known that would happen." Cephera interjected.
"A part of me knew. I begged Odin on more than one occasion to tell Loki. To allow him to be who he truly is, but my husband was convienced that it wasn't the time. That Asgard was not ready and neither was Loki."
"How much you wanna bet, Loki was made to hear those stories because his other self made sure of it. Suvia said her husband had arrived here when his younger self was only a child. He could very well have been corrupting and manipulating him from the start." Cephera felt bitter now. The anger she had for the older version of Loki boiled inside her.
"I hadn't considered that." Frigga pursed her lips. "Loki sees that Odin using him for a way to peace as a reason why Odin never truly loved him, but every parent has an expectation for their child. For Thor it is to one day rule Asgard. Neither task is an easy one. Odin believed in Loki's ability to use his words effectively to establish some sort of peace." Frigga sighed.
"I suppose we cannot change the past, but we can try to help form the future. When this is all over, maybe Loki can still be persuaded to forge an alliance with Jotunheim." Frigga was already shaking her head in response.
"Not after he used the Byfrost as a way to destroy almost half their realm. He killed and wounded many. There will never be any coming back from that. Even if they knew he was Laufey's son, it wouldn't matter. They would see it as a betrayal of their own kind." The Queen sat back to rest her head on the wall of the window seat.
"They betrayed Loki first by leaving him to die." Cephera couldn't imagine doing that to her own flesh and blood. Yet, if it had never happened, she would never have met Loki, nor married him.
"It is customary. They didn't do it out of hatred," Frigga said it more matter-of-factly. She probably didn't agree with it either.
"So much for changing the subject to something happier." Cephera sighed. "Not much happiness to go around these days. Do you think Odin will ever let Loki free?"
"I've been broaching the topic on and off. Odin has much to deal with and so Loki will remain in his cell until he is ready to make a full decision. I have faith my husband will do the right thing. If I can help it, I will see you reunited with your husband." Cephera smiled.
"You've always been as a mother to me." Cephera noted, a warmth filling her with memories of her time spent with Frigga.
"And you a daughter," Frigga's smile return.
"Did you always know me and Loki would end up together?"
"I had a second sense about it, yes." The Queen grinned and Cephera giggled.
Ikol woke from his sleep in a fit of wails. Cephera didn't stop Frigga when she stood to get him. Frigga only had a week to be with her grandson, so Cephera didn't stop her from doing anything she pleased.
Watching her with Ikol made Cephera smile. She could imagine how Frigga would hold Loki as she was now doing to her grandson. A soft hum passing her lips as she cradled him close to her chest, lulling him back to sleep.
His tiny hands seized handfuls of the queens dress and his little tongue licked his lips right before he wiped his sleepy face across her chest.
Cephera's smile couldn't have been bigger. No matter how big her woes might be, looking at her baby washed them away and all her thoughts fell to him.
"He's asleep," Frigga said gently laying him back down. "He's a good baby."
Cephera couldn't argue. Ikol only cried when he woke unexpectantly, or the usual hungry or bathroom issues. Some babies cried for lengthy times, apparently Thor cried often.
"A week is such a short time," Cephera stood next to Frigga to watch her son once more. "I'll be sad to see you go,"
"I will come back when I am able," Frigga promised.

Notes