Choices

Chapter 37
"Loki," Thor called in a somewhat irritated, worried tone.
"I don't want to talk about it." Loki instantly replied. Thor furrowed his brow, he wouldn't give up. He'd heard about Loki's fight with Cephera, the whole palace was a buzz with the rumors spread from servant to servant. Thor was hoping Loki hadn't said some of the things he'd heard, but a sad truth sunk in that Loki would, in his anger, say those exact things.
"No, we will talk now." Thor demanded. Loki looked at Thor and scowled. He was sitting on the thick brick windowsill, he looked upset, though he was trying to hide it.
"She overstepped." Loki growled, skipping the 'why are you here intro'.
"We are talking about the same girl here? The girl who believes in spreading peace to everyone and truth and love and eternal happiness...,"
"Don't mock me." Loki growled.
"I'm not." Thor assured his brother. "I just don't see how you could think that she was lying simply out of jealousy. I'd be surprised if she can even feel that emotion." Thor was perplexed how his brother could have let his anger get the better of him.
"Everyone can feel it, and it changes people."
"No, you're thinking of the rest of the female population, Cephera walks her own road far away from them." Thor pointed out. Cephera was different from any woman Thor had ever met, her development mentally. She viewed the world through the eyes of a child, though she was grown she never lost that sweet goodness.
"If you are just going to agree with her lies then get out." Loki growled.
"Did you even stop to consider that maybe she'd been trying to spare your feelings, that there is a possibility that she may have misinterpreted what she saw and meant no harm." Thor offered.
"Then she should have thought about that herself." Loki paused. "Do you think it possible?" Loki ventured clearly having a little doubt regarding Amora's fidelity.
Thor moved between being kind with his words and outright telling Loki what he thought, he went with the latter. "No, I think Cephera saw exactly what she said she saw, and your paramour is a lying sack of giants dung." Thor ignored the deathly look Loki gave him. One day he would see the error of his ways, but Thor could only hope it wouldn't be too late to make it up to Cephera.
(Cephera)
"I can dismember his cock," King Yorin said, smoothing his hand over Cephera's hair. She had her head laying cheek down in his lap and her face stained with tears. Her fingers grazing her lips. She thought of it over and over. The whole situation.
"No daddy." She replied in a defeated tone.
"It would be the most logical route, that was what started all this." He replied. Cephera didn't respond, she knew her father was trying to cheer her up, but it wasn't working. All she could think about was how she could have done it differently and then she'd turn angry through her sorrow and would curse Loki for calling her the things he had.
Her past few days had been bouts of hours of crying and then fits of anger. She wasn't sure which felt natural anymore. Crying had been more her thing... but anger, anger had been a very remote feeling for her, until now. Right now, her anger felt more natural than crying. She felt crying was silly because she hadn't done anything wrong, not directly. She made the wrong decision, but the rest was all on Loki.
"I hate seeing you like this." He told her stroking her hair again.
"I think it will do her some good. Put some depth to her soul and give her a damn backbone," Seraphina said walking in and plopping an apple right next to Cephera's face.
"Sera," her father warned.
"It's okay, she's right. I'm weak." Cephera told him, eyeing the apple but she didn't feel hungry.
"You're perfect the way you are," he said to Cephera. "You need a little more of your sister in you," he said to Seraphina.
"Hey, I'm your first born and your heir, how come I'm not perfect the way I am?" Cephera didn't have to look at her sister to know she was trying to guilt their father, unfortunately for the elder twin, Cephera pulled off that card better.
"Because you're far too much like me." King Yorin replied.
"Yeah, you're right about that." Seraphina agreed lying on the bed and resting the back of her head against Cephera's hip. "How long are you gonna sulk for, it's much more amusing when you're the angry Cephera. It's like spotting a rare, endangered animal."
"Why are you being so emotionally unsupportive?" King Yorin asked.
"It's okay, " Cephera said. "It's a breath of fresh air to have her stay just the way she is."
"Oh, am I bothering you? Upsetting you? Please tell me I'm not the reasons you're crying right now." Cephera sat up straight and hugged her father, disrupting her sisters head and causing it to fall to the sheets with a startled cry.
"No, I'm grateful for you both being the way you are. It's good to be home, I belong here." Cephera told him. He gave her a gentle hug back. As much of a ferocious warrior he was, he was also her gentle father and it was one of the many things her mother had loved about him.
Cephera didn't know how she would have cooped with all of this without her sister or father. Cephera missed Frigga, in the absence of her own mother, Frigga had made a wonderful stand in with deep heart felt knowledge. Cephera felt at peace talking to her and missed the way Frigga doted on her.
As much as she hated it, she missed Loki. It had been three days since she vacated Asgard and a part of her had thought he would have contacted her by now. She'd hoped that he would see the error in his assumptions about her. He'd struck out at her through her lineage, demeaned her worth as both a woman and a friend, and yet, she still missed him dearly.
(Frigga)
Oh to be young again, the drama, the heartbreak and foolish decisions. She remembered how things had been when she was young and they were no different now. Still, even knowing how they were, she worried. The outcome of ones youthful mistakes shaped their futures, both Thor and Loki were still moulding theirs and both of them were making rash choices.
Frigga was worried that Loki had pushed away the one thing that brought out the man Frigga could always see in him. The kind and affectionate one that he often hid behind his jealousy and cries for attention. Cephera was good for him. She had hoped that one day they would find each other in a different light and that Cephera would become a permanent resident among them.
She was worried about Thor. She'd seen the look on his face when his father refused to marry him to Sif. Thor could also be irrational and quick to make rash decisions. A part of Frigga worried that Thor would jump ahead of himself, marry Sif through other means, anger his father and then be stuck in a lie.
A lie..., it was why she was there now. There in the western villa stood Sif, half hidden by the stone wall, her eyes watching the battlegrounds below. She was doing her best to not be seen, but Frigga had found her easily enough with the right questions to staff.
"Good evening, Lady Sif." Frigga greeted her. Sif jumped and stared wide eyed at the queen. Frigga had the pleasure of a few private meetings with the young woman, and found her to be pleasant, but Frigga knew what she was up to. Some called Frigga a clairvoyant, able to see the future, but it wasn't that. Frigga had a sense about her when something was amiss, and she had enough people who liked and respected her that she could discover the truth. But she also had the odd dream here and there. Sometimes she'd wake from those with an image in her mind that she couldn't shake.
She was happy she couldn't truly see the future, for such a power would only have been more of a burden. Afteral, who doesn't want to know their fate.
"Your highness," Sif bowed politely.
"In light of recent events, I've been meaning to speak with you about my son and your pending nuptials." Thor made it clear to his mother everyday that he still wanted to marry Sif, despite the cautions people had given him.
"I know it must be concerning to hear about us talk about marriage at our age, but I assure you I love your son." Sif responded.
"In that, I do not doubt, my concern stems from your second love, the one you are giving up to be with Thor." Sif's eyes darted away, unable to look at Frigga.
"I...,"
"Do not be ashamed, or alarmed. I am not angry about your lies. I understand your need for Thor's approval." Sif glanced back at her and then back out the window to the fighting.
"I can hear it in his tone, he doesn't want a warrior wife, he wants a housewife." Sif frowned. "Is it wrong to want both?"
"No, but it is wrong to deny your heart what it wants, even if it means losing something else. Thor has grown up in a world where women have been pressed into a dark corner. We are slowing raising our heads and proving ourselves worthy, but we have a long way to go. He expects the ordinary, but I believe that, given time, he would be open to the extraordinary."
"I fear if I set out to learn my passion, without his restrictions to defence only, then I will lose him."
"I admire that your feelings for my son are stronger than those for fighting, but you will never truly know Thor if you don't give him a chance on the real you. No hiding and sneaking around to do battle with the princess's," Frigga was amused by Sif's shocked face. She knew all about their weekly meet ups to help train Sif.
Her resolve to stop fighting had gotten the better of her and she had reconciled her relationship with Seraphina, who in turn had offered a more secret approach to Sif's problem. Cephera had been the one to tell Frigga. Cephera trusted her with a great amount of honesty.
"You must know and love Thor for who he is, just as he should do so for you. His courting of you began before you gave up battle, somewhere inside him he must be even a little open to the idea." Frigga smiled and looked down to the battlegrounds. "I spent a good amount of my younger years as a fighter. I trained with the Valkyrie."
"The Valkyrie?" Sif turned again to the queen, this time is great interest.
"Yes, it had been just after my first heartbreak and I swore I'd never trust another man. The Valkyrie took me in, but soon a life among all women turned out to not be one for me, I left and centuries later I met Odin for the first time. He fell in love with all that I am. He saw a strength and determination in me that he admired." Frigga smiled at the old memories.
"Seraphina told me that if Thor cannot love me for all that I am then he doesn't deserve me." Sif seemed hesitant to say such a thing to the queen.
"She is right. The person you are going to spend your life with should accept you for who you are. It's okay to expect small changes, but to sever someone's dreams is selfish."
"If I tell him the truth I might lose him forever." Sif sighed.
"And if you don't, you'll never know if his love is real." Frigga placed a hand on Sif's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "I'm sure you'll do the right thing, for yourself and for my son." The queen left it at that. She passed on a warming smile and left Sif to think it over.

Notes