Choices

Chapter 42 Loki groaned and rolled over. Training with Cephera hadn't been fun, and only because she was more focused than ever and actually performing better. Which meant pain for Loki. She'd been back for two whole days and Loki was exhausted. He spent 90% of his day feeling just how pissed his friend was. He deserved it, he knew that, but still he hoped to calm her soon.
The sound of his outer chamber doors opening signalled the entrance of Thor. Thor had gone off realm early the morning before and it would seem he finally returned. When once Loki would have been annoyed with the intrusion, he was interested to see what was happening.
"Brother...," Thor bellowed, as if he didn't know where Loki was. When Thor entered the man bedchamber Loki sat up, his blankets sitting neatly across his abdomen. What once had been a flat surface of skin had become a toned detailed set of abs since his combat training started with Thor years before. Not huge like Thor, Loki didn't have the bone structure to accomplish that, but all of him had tightened up and lean muscle could be seen. He wasn't as lanky anymore.
"Thor," Loki replied raising an eyebrow.
"How fairs things with Cephera?" Thor began, but it was clear he hadn't come there for that. He was making idle chat.
"She's pissed and making my life painful, but I'm no less deserving of it." He responded.
"She has a good heart, treat her right and I'm sure she'll calm down," Thor said.
"You haven't come here for this Thor, the expression of apprehension shows on your face. What is it?" Loki asked.
Thor looked to his feet. "You are right, I made a choice the other day, one that I'm not sure how to tell father about. You've always been better with words than me, though they seem to have escaped even you lately, but even so I need help." Loki was surprised the oaf came to him for such a thing.
"What have you done?" Loki asked, sitting forward. Thor was known to jump on a whim and Loki could only imagine what he'd done that made Thor fear facing their father.
"Myself and Sif have been having our share of ups and downs. We've been working through them." Loki nodded, normal relationship stuff. "Well, my love for her was in doubt, she didn't think I could accept her as she was and that I would rather a different woman at my side later on. To prove my devotion I...," Thor paused. "Well, I took her off realm to Nefflehiem and married her in secret."
Loki's jaw dropped and his eyes widened. "Oh no, I'm not getting involved with this." Loki declared. This was bad. Marriage was a sacred oath, one Odin took very seriously. It was why he had refused to allow Sif and Thor to marry so early in their relationship.
"Please Loki!" Thor begged. "I do not regret marrying her I just know that Father will not approve. I need council on what to say to him." Loki slapped a hand to his forehead. Was Thor that stupid?
"There is nothing you can say." Loki warned. "Not only have you denied him the right as King of the nine realms to proclaim marital rights to his own son, but you have robbed our mother of the chance at being their for it. You cannot undo what you have done, you know Father won't force you to annul the union." Loki sighed. All marriages, no matter their realm, were all registered into an archive. Everyone had different customs but in the end once they were married it was final. There was no way Thor could get away with not telling Odin and any mock marriage now would just be that, a show for the people.
"I cannot undo my actions I know, but..."
"Thor, no matter how you tell him he will be disappointed and angry. Your best bet is to tell him as soon as possible before he hears rumors. I'm sure that those who know of what you did will not be able to keep from wagging their tongues.
Even realms away, rumors can reach the Asgardian citizens. If you tell him now you will face a wraith that will not last. Should he hear it from someone else first then I'm sure his wraith will be worse." Loki had no real advice save for that.
Thor sighed, his shoulders slumped and he scratched his beard. "You're right." He replied.
"I'm surprised Sif agreed so easily." Loki remarked and a look of shame passed over Thor's face.
"She did protest, but in my haste I took her hesitation the wrong way and got angry and guilted her into it." Loki groaned. Thor was a fool.
"Thor you were once plain with me about Amora, even though I didn't listen, but now I will be frank with you. You should have waited for your relationship to hit its 100th year. You haven't even reached 20 years yet. Do you know how many relationships fail after it 50th year because the novelty of being with the same person wears off? We live so long that it takes much longer for us to realize how our decisions will affect our futures." Loki would have never married so early.
"That will not be me and Sif. I will love her forever." Thor insisted.
"For you both, I hope so because now you are stuck with each other, and even if you should split apart you'd never be able to make the final commitment to anyone else." Loki frowned, in a way he felt Thor deserved whatever he got for being so foolish, but in another way Loki felt sorry for him. Thor was in for one heck of a ride if his relationship should fall apart.
(Seraphina)
"Wow, well that was stupid," Seraphina said to Sif. Sif had just told her the explosive news and was waiting for Thor to tell his father. Thor insisted on going alone, Seraphina thought it would have been better to bring the daughter-in-law as well, but alas Sif was with her instead.
"Seraphina!" Sif scolded.
"Well it was. Marriages are silly. Why would anyone want to be tied to the one person for life is beyond me." She replied.
"Your sister wants it." Sif reminded her.
"Yes, and she's stupid for it too, but it's her choice and that's my opinion. I'm telling you that one day you'll wake up and Thor will be a bore to be around."
"You say these things because you don't let yourself open up emotionally to anyone. You haven't found love. When you do, you'll understand why we did this." Sif replied frowning.
"No, even if I fell in love, I don't believe in forever. I don't believe a heart nor mind can keep the same passion for the same thing. It's like eating the same meal everyday for all your life, eventually you'll get sick of it and move on to something new." Seraphina never understood being tied to any one person for life. Years, sure. Decades even, but for all their long, long lives, no.
"One day you'll feel differently and when you do I'll say I told you so, just like you say to me when you are right." Sif declared.
"Fine, but don't hold your breath." Seraphina replied reclining back again the barracks wall. Sif was fitting herself into a new set of armor. Seraphina had paid for it. She was thrilled Sif had finally come clean and she had to hand it to Thor, he'd taken it much better than Seraphina gave him credit for..., minus the impromptu wedding.
"Thor's been gone a while." Sif pulled absently at a strap of armor already in place.
"Well, I'm sure Odin is flipping out and Thor is taking it. Really, what did you expect would happen?" Sif sighed and nodded. Seraphina felt half bad for her. Being caught in the middle of a war between a king and his son was not good.
"Lady Sif," a guard said stepping in though the tight doorway. "The Allfather has demanded your presence." Sif quickly glance at Seraphina who could only shrug.
"Good luck," Seraphina called after her.
(Loki)
"They what?" Cephera said gaping at Loki. He thought a little news might take her mind off her hurt feelings.
"You heard me," he said.
"Wow..., just wow. OMG, a wedding! Will there be a dance? A celebration?" She was becoming giddy. He could see it on her face and for a moment he felt calmer. This was the Cephera he remembered.
"They have to face my father first." Loki reminded her. He'd explained everything and she had patiently listened.
"He can't stay mad forever and to save face it's in his best interest to embrace the marriage." Loki shook his head.
"No, it's not. Thor went over Odin's head, over his command. If even Odin lets his son do that what does it tell the people?" Cephera quieted down.
"You think he'll be punished for it?"
"I'm sure of it. My father has his own honor to abide by. He will show the people that even Thor does not extend above his word without consequences."
"I hate politics." Cephera uttered and huffed. Loki could agree, there were loopholes in politics allowing those smart enough to abuse the system to get away with lots of things. Loki was also intrigued by it, many a time he had gotten himself out of trouble because of such loopholes. Nothing too serious but it could come in handy should it ever be.
(Cephera)
Cephera worried what would happen to poor Thor. Why should he be punished for marrying the woman he loved? It seemed unfair. If her sister was there to read her thoughts Seraphina would remind Cephera that life was unfair. There was no training that day, it seemed everyone who knew were eager to hear of Odin's verdict on the matter. If divorce was not an option than what could Odin do to teach Thor a lesson.
Cephera pondered it all in silence sitting curled in an armchair in Loki's tower. Loki sat at his desk reading over books just like the old days..., the old days, Cephera missed those days. The days she could look at him and smile. She viewed him differently now, she hadn't thought she would. She thought she'd just be angry and nothing more, but now she saw him as her teacher and beyond that she felt confused and conflicted unlike any time before.
Her mind constantly at war with herself as to forgive him or not. A war that ragged with words that struck her in blows. He really had no idea what he'd destroyed when he'd called her those things. The part that hurt most of all was how he claimed she was not worthy of him. Had he known how she felt prior to all of this he might understand more why she remained so distant from him.
She tried to take into consideration Frigga's advice and even after two days Cephera knew it would be harder than she thought to restore peace between herself and the mischief maker. What if they never got back what they had lost? What if their friendship was meant to fail? She couldn't handle that thought either. It saddened her.
She wondered if he ever thought of her in any way other than a friend? At any one point, even a fleeting moment, had he considered her as a lover or more? Was that why he lashed out with the words he'd used? Because he had felt that way at some point and had been so hurt by her 'accusation' that he'd projected somehow.
Cephera feared she'd never know the answer and a part of her didn't want to.

Notes