Choices

Chapter 47
Cephera had a hard time keeping her poker face. She was still pissed at Loki. He had no right to make that decision for her. He had no right to go behind her back and create such a negative image of her to a man she'd been courting. If it wasn't meant to be then Cephera would have figured it out for herself. She wasn't blinded like Loki had been with Amora.
"He's an idiot. Clearly he was jealous of Bjorn. I mean Bjorn was better looking and better built. Not to mention all romantic and things that you like that I find annoying, but still I think Loki was jealous." Seraphina commented. She was hanging upside down over the edge of the bed throwing a ball into the air. She was bored.
"You say that like I should be happy about it." Cephera noted and glared.
"Look you still have a thing for Loki, don't try and tell me different." Seraphina smirked. "Jealously can be taken as a sign of hidden feelings. Maybe even hidden to the prince."
"You know what you're like, you're like that good and bad angel on my shoulder contradicting eachother, only in this case it's just you being two faced. One minute you hate Loki and would love to knock his brains out and the next you're his advocate for getting me with him." Cephera was frustrated. Her sister wasn't helping.
"Meh, I can hate him, but I can also face facts, you've already made up your heart and mind. Loki is who you want. Don't even try to lie to me and say Bjorn was the man for you, he was a supplement, a test drive to see how strong your feelings were for someone else."
"NO!" Cephera was indignant her sister would even think that.
Seraphina rolled off the bed and jumped to her feet. "Maybe not on purpose, but that's what he was." Her sister growled. Cephera felt her eyes burning with tears of shame. Maybe she had done that, but she didn't mean to. She wasn't like that. "Look I think that if you end up with Loki you'd be happy. He's a jerk and an idiot but he's oddly loyal to those he loves. I think if he had you, he'd keep you forever." Seraphina looked about to gag near the end.
"What do I do?" Cephera asked chewing her lip.
"Just keep being you." Seraphina replied with a smile.
***
Training ended and Cephera was so caught up in overthinking her earlier conversation with her sister, she nearly knocked into Loki as he stalled halfway down the hall. "Huh?" Loki stared off into the distance and a look crossed his face. A look Cephera knew all too well.
"I know that look, what are you planning?" Cephera asked, following Loki as he attempted to walk away from her. She was confused at his sudden change of direction.
"I must have her," he said shrugging off Cephera's hand.
"Her who?" Cephera looked back, searching for whatever Loki had been looking at and her eyes fell on Sigyn. "Sigyn!" She said. "Loki are you crazy she's to be married tomorrow." She reminded him. She'd thought his obsession with her had ended. She knew Loki had found a fascination for the girl, but she didn't realize how bad it had become. A silent yearning.
"Which is why I need to act now." He replied still walking away in a hurry. "I only need delay the wedding." His focused eyes set straight ahead of him and his furrowed brow told her he was brainstorming.
"Loki, she loves Theoric." She tried reasoning with him. After what her sister had said, she couldn't let Loki go.
"It matters not. I'll teach her to love me." He insisted. Cephera grabbed Loki, forcing him to a halt and for him to face her.
"You don't teach someone to love you, you earn it. If it were my wedding and my life you ruined for your own selfish reasons, I would hate you and would be unable to ever love you." Cephera warned him harshly, Loki was lucky she hadn't loved Bjorn.
"Do not preach to me about such things. I need a woman such a Sigyn as my paramour. You know my history with women has been, unsuccessful." He snarled. Clearly he was emotionally detaching again.
"Oh, like I have had an easy time finding love." She retorted keeping up her facade that she'd left Bjorn. She had to keep herself in place.
"You have a better chance than me," Loki said.
"Perhaps if you didn't try to take things not belonging to you and acted like a man instead of a boy, love would find you instead of you trying to make something out of nothing." Cephera yelled back.
"Sigyn will be mine." Loki insisted, seething in frustration and anger. Loki was stubborn, she knew this, and if he truly wanted Sigyn he would not stop until he ruined her wedding day and made her his. Loki growled and pushed past her and Cephera watched him go. He was bound for his room she could tell by the direction.
Instead of following him, Cephera headed the other way and went right to his tower. She searched his shelves for anything that could help her stop Loki from screwing up his and someone else's life. She found what she was looking for and when she did, a plan of her own formed in her mind. Plotting had never been her thing, but for some reason this was thrilling. She felt almost ashamed how enthralled she was with making her plan succeed.
She'd need to act, needed to lie. Cephera was getting good at playing dumb and lying. Cephera was not who she used to be and she knew it, her sister knew it and even her father knew it. Cephera opened the potion bottle she'd selected, grabbed an apple from Loki's desk and bathed it in the liquid until it soaked into the skin and its magical properties were absorbed. She tossed away the evidence and left for Loki's room.
(Loki)
Loki paced, his mind reeling with anger and hatred, but yet he couldn't truly hate Cephera. She had been the only one to understand and stand up for him. She only meant well, but still he was angry to be fighting with her. His plans for Sigyn not yet lost in his mind, but he was having trouble trying to figure out the details. A knock on his door stopped his pacing. He knew the knock all too well.
Loki knew better than to ignore her and so he opened the door to glare at Cephera. Cephera was looking sad and Loki felt a little guilty. He always did when she frowned. "I'm sorry. Can we talk like normal people," she said turning those violet eyes up to look at him.
Loki sighed and opened the door wide enough to allow her entrance. She entered and went through his sitting room to his bedroom and sat on the edge of his bed tossing her apple between her palms as she did often. "I'm listening." He told her curtly.
"Look, Loki, I understand you want to be loved, but I just think you're going about it all wrong. Love is something you earn like trust. No relationship can survive without trust and if you do this to her you'll never get either," she said calmly. Loki was chewing the inside of his cheek were she couldn't see his tension.
"Sigyn is what I desire. She is kind, gentle, smart, devoted," he said sitting next to Cephera. He thought his words odd then, Cephera was also all those things.
"Devoted to another." Cephera reminded him. Loki glared and grabbed the apple as it passed to her hand nearest him.
"Don't play with your food." He chided and bit in as she glared. She loved her apples and played with them often, but he always taught her this lesson and tonight was no different. "She may think she loves him, thinks he is the one for her but given twenty four hours with me, I will change her mind." Loki was fully aware of how conceited he sounded. Cephera rolled her eyes.
"Well with that kind of attitude then shouldn't you feel as though you could have any woman you wanted." She pointed out grabbing for her apple. He bit in again to mock her some more and she pouted.
"I suppose, but I don't want any other woman...," Loki paused. He felt dizzy. "Cephera...," he choked. "What... did..." He didn't finished his sentence before darkness befell him and he remembered no more.
***
A haze covered Loki's gaze as he woke. Slow and a headache pounding in his head. He was lying back across his bed and he was alone. He rolled and rubbed his forehead. He felt confused and disoriented. It took a moment for him to remember what had happened. "Errrr!! Cephera!" He yelled and stumbled to his feet.
Loki tripped his way to his bedroom door and opened it. He stopped, shocked to actually see Cephera sitting against the hallway wall waiting for him. Her knees up to her chin and her arms hugging her legs. "You're awake," she said staring up at him.
"Sigyn?" He demanded.
"Married and long gone." She told him. Loki glared the best he could at his friend. Cephera stood and something in her demeanour stopped his scowl. "I stopped you for all the concerns I spoke of, but oddly, I feel liberated. You destroyed my chances with a great guy and now I have returned the favor." With that she turned on her heels and walked away.
Loki stared as she left, unable to find words to respond. She'd known, all along she'd known Loki had broken up her and Bjorn. She'd pretended it had been her choice when it clearly hadn't. He'd done this. He'd created this vengeful woman. Not maliciously vengeful like some, but still, in her own little way, she took pleasure in her plot to stop him from getting Sigyn. An odd feeling stirred inside Loki, regret? No, not regret, something else, something deeper. It took him a moment before it hit him, impressed. He was impressed with the newest part of her. Her backbone, her defiance.
Cephera was now a mishmash of malicious innocence. She didn't do things without a good reason and yet, when she did them they held a certain amount of malice behind them. Loki cocked up an eyebrow, oh how life would change from here. All thoughts of Sigyn evaporated from his mind and now Loki began to analyze his developed relationship to the younger twin and the changes that had come from them knowing one another.
She was his voice of reason and he was her catalyst for spite. He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, but he felt that it was important to understand it.
(Cephera)
The whole time she walked away with a stroll of confidence, until she was out of sight. Cephera drew in a large shaky breath and her body trembled. She'd done it, she stopped Loki from ruining his life and someone's else's, but to what end? Her and Loki were chasing each other in circles playing tag.
Cephera was terrified if this was how it was always going to be. She felt guilty for doing that to Loki and conflicted for her feeling of pride behind her own conviction. She missed her happy and carefree days. She missed being the girl she'd been. The one without worries, lies and deceit. She wanted to go back to her, but how? After everything how could she do that?
Footsteps were coming closer and she knew they were Loki's by the slight misstep. The potion was still wearing off. At last Loki rounded the corner and Cephera stared away from him, unable to meet his gaze. He took a leaning place against the wall beside her.
There was silence for a while and then he spoke. "What now?" He asked.
"Maybe we need to start over." Cephera replied. He knew they were broken. The two of them. "Let bygones be bygones and promise to let the other learn from their mistakes."
"That sounds horrible." He replied and she laughed. It really did sound like a horrible solution. "How about we just accept the fact that we are two forces that should never appose one another. You're scary when you're being like me." Cephera half laughed and looked down, embarrassed.
"You made me this way." She accused.
"No, you always had it in you, you're just too good a person to let it loose... until I came along and pissed you off."
"So you're the fire to my fuse?"
"Apparently." He chuckled.
"I hate fighting, I hate arguing and I hate making decisions that are right but manipulative. I hope I never have to again." She admitted.
"I cannot promise I'll make it easy for you to stop any of that," he said a hint of regret in his tone.
"I know. Next time I'll just beat you senseless with my bare-hands."
"I believe that." Loki grinned as she finally looked at him.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. You were right to stop me. I was being a fool." Reaching out, Loki moved her hair from her face and smiled a genuine smile. Cephera returned it and a sweet calm fell over her. If only every moment could feel this way, calm.

Notes