Choices

Chapter 51
Present Time!
She paced..., what else could she do. Odin had made his decree, Loki was in the prisons and Cephera was left thinking about life and how it had been. She probably wasn't the only one thinking of the past, but right now she felt alone. More alone even than when she'd thought Loki to be dead.
She couldn't help but be confused and conflicted over Odin's decision. She remembered the moment well when she and Loki had told their parents about their new relationship. Frigga was happy for them, as Cephera knew she would be and Odin had just given a curt nod. Later, Cephera found out Odin had called on Loki and told him in private to take care not to disrupt his alliance with King Yorin should their courtship go sour.
Now Odin was the one who was throwing away his alliance, and to what? To punish Loki for his crimes? To hit him where it would hurt the most? It didn't make sense. Odin cherished the vows of matrimony. For him to just sever the vows without so much as a second thought made Cephera wonder if he'd ever wanted them to marry at all.
She was angry and disappointed with her husband, but was she surprised, no. The sad truth was that she'd seen enough of Loki's darker side over her years to know he was capable of anything with the right push. She knew his mentality regarding humans, he'd let it slip on more than one occasion. Loki had always let his jealous nature create demons inside him, but she still loved him. By marrying him she accepted his faults, no matter how deep they lay.
Her chamber door opened and into the sitting room stepped Frigga. "I'm glad you've come," Cephera said instantly wrapping her arms around the queen, her mother-in-law.
"I couldn't bare to keep you waiting. I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling." Frigga responded and took hold of both of Cephera's hands as they stepped only a fraction back from one another.
"There is no pain, just worry. Loki is the only man I have ever loved, ever wanted. Odin's decree to eradicate our marriage is a sword to my heart and my life. I don't care about what Loki has done, I will stand by his side as you would Odin." Cephera insisted, though she knew Frigga was aware of all of this.
"Give him a few days and I will speak to him, I'm sure he will see reason. I promise you I will do all that I can to keep your marriage true..., for I fear of I do not, Loki will lose all hope and fall deeper into this darkness that has surrounded him." Frigga looked tired. Her eyes ringed in shadows.
Cephera had never seen the queen look so forlorn and worried, Cephera was concerned over Frigga's health. "Thank you, but you should rest." Cephera told her squeezing the queens hands. "We are all weary and even more so for the days to come. If my marriage is destroyed, I want you to know..."
"Shush." The queen hushed her. "Do not speak so negatively, I know my husband and I will not let it rest until I have changed his mind. I know where your loyalties lie, I always have. You have given my son many reasons to be happy and though there were times he tried to push that happiness away to satisfy his need for attention and pride, I know he was better for the love you gave him." Frigga pressed her palms to Cephera cheeks, rubbing her thumbs along them.
"I only wish I could have done more to ease his hateful feelings." Cephera frowned.
"Sometimes people have emotions inside them they think they cannot control. No matter how much love they get, they cannot shed those dark clouds within them, but they can learn to live with them and eventually control them. For Loki his whole world and who he thought he was, was destroyed and it set in motion the events that brought us to this point. He'll need time to accept and recover from that." Frigga sighed. "No one could have predicted how Loki would take the news of his true heritage, least of all in the way he found out."
"It doesn't excuse the things he's done." Cephera didn't want to forget that. It was important to recognized that Loki was still at fault for his own actions. Sometimes it was easy to forget that.
"No, but he can learn from them, grow from them. But first he will need to see those mistake for what they are and stop blaming others. It's true Odin did not force Loki's hand, but he played a part. Like dominos falling into place, they have to start somewhere." Cephera smiled. Frigga was an amazing woman, she always knew what to say.
Upon Frigga's departure Cephera was left to her thoughts once more. She couldn't predict the future, nor could she do anything productive at the moment, so Cephera went back to thinking about her life with Loki.
(491 years earlier, Sif)
"You've changed," Thor said to her as she tied up her dress. Training had ended long ago, but until now she'd continued training in the ground outside. There work in Muspelhiem had ended quicker than even Odin had anticipated. A war had broken out between the giants and fire demons, a war Odin had no cause to get involved in. He summoned his son and Sif home and declared their charge over.
"So have you." Sif replied, though she only half meant it. It was more the changes he'd taken toward her that she noticed. Toward life and everyone else he seemed the same. Little did Odin know, Thor had instigated the war. He taunted and tested the patiences of the fire demons everyday until finally a fight broke out and that escalated into the war.
Sif hadn't spoken of what she knew and Thor had insisted it wasn't of his doing. She didn't agree with that, and she was not pleased to be part of his secret. Still she was his wife, and so she kept her tongue still. They spent very little time with one another in Muspelhiem once the city had gotten large enough.
Thor took to gambling and drinking with the giants, and she was sure there might have even been a few affairs though she had no proof. It wasn't the thought of the affairs that bothered her though... It was the lack of caring she had for the truth of it. She was more interested in her own life, her training. Living in Muspelheim had toughened her up more than she could have imagined. Thor's lack of interest bothered her.
They'd been married for a little over two decades and they seemed to be only drifting further apart. Sometimes she wondered if they took for granted the things that kept a couple together. That they assumed their vows did that for them, but she knew that was wrong. They didn't do any of the things they used to. Thor didn't woe her with any sweet words not did she embellish him with compliments. They sort of just existed.
"I am sorry." Thor told her frowning. "I find myself...," Thor paused as if thinking of the best way to say his peace. "I find that I lack the same attraction to you as I once did." He admitted. Despite how she'd been feeling and the fact that this was something she'd come to know on her own, his words still stung.
She bit back the urge to panic and set her eyes on his. "Your father was right, we should have waited longer." Thor nodded. He looked awkward, something he never looked to be or feel. She felt upset, tears burning her eyes and making her squint and look away from him. He'd stepped up to her in that moment and placed his hands on her shoulders.
"Please do not turn from me, we both know we cannot continue like this." Thor told her squeezing her skin beneath his calloused palms.
"I cannot do this, I cannot let us go." Sif responded, conflicted with herself.
"We cannot be happy as we are." He insisted. She nodded knowing he was right.
"I'll leave," she said pulling from his grasp.
"Sif," he called after her, concern in his tone. She ignored him, she left his room, even after 20 years of marriage they had somehow managed to never truly intertwine their lives. Sif rushed down the hall only to stumble upon Loki. Of all the people in Asgard, why did it have to be him?
"Sif? What has happened?" Loki asked stopping and staring at her.
"Go ahead and say it." She muttered.
"What?"
"Say I told you so." She growled the words, looking for a fight. She watched the realization dawn on the younger princes face, but he didn't smirk or grin in any fashion. Instead, Loki stepped to her and put a hand on her upper arm.
"I'm sorry." His words surprised her, touched her even. "Thor's a fool." He added.
Sif heard the footsteps coming closer, Thor had finally made to follow her. Unsure what to say, or do. Sif leaned in an inch and placed a kiss on Loki's lips. A token of her thanks for not choosing to be a dick in that moment.
(Loki)
Loki was completely thrown off his guard when Sif kissed him, but more so for Thor's burly hands around his neck. "How dare you touch my wife." Thor yelled.
"Thor stop!" Sif screamed, panic-stricken. Loki coughed when Thor let go.
"You think our problems gives you the right to swoop in?" Thor bellowed. "She is still MY wife."
"It was a friendly kiss nothing more." Sif insisted, but it was clear Thor wasn't listening. He was blinded by his anger.
"Perhaps I will seek out Cephera and return the favor." Thor pushed over a nearby pedestal holding a vase if flowers. Loki narrowed his eyes.
"You leave her out of this." Loki warned. It had taken a moment for Loki to find his bearings. Everything had happened so quickly. This is what he got for trying to be a nice guy, hardly seemed worth it.
"I will defend my ladies honor, we fight, tomorrow at dawn we shall battle till one of us can no longer stand." Loki growled back in return.
"So be it." Loki hissed back.
"Stop acting like a fool!" Sif yelled at Thor.
"Do not speak to me that way woman. You are my wife and you will respect your husband."
"I don't want to be your wife." She retorted her face no longer showing signs of sadness.
"Too little, too late." Thor replied. "Dawn Loki, do not be late." Thor warned and stomped off.
***
"You kissed his wife!" Cephera said again.
"She kissed me." Loki insisted. It bothered Loki that out of everything Loki had just told her she was stuck on the kissing part.
"Still..., Thor's wife!" She grabbed handfuls of her own hair. "This is silly, I cannot believe a fight has started over this, though I don't blame him for being angry." Cephera added.
"It was harmless, a simple gesture of thanks." Loki threw his hand up in the air.
"Not to Thor. Put yourself in his shoes, had it been you and me fighting and me kissing Thor and you coming around to catch it just at that moment, wouldn't you also be pissed." Loki hated that the thought already made him angry and that she was right.
"Not the point. He wants a battle to defend her 'honor'. Do you know that once the place catches wind of that I'll have to fight with my own brother, hand to hand no less, in front of thousands of spectators." Cephera paused and thought about it.
"He'll calm down before then." She decided proving she knew very little of Thor's mentality. He was a child. Loki frowned, not even sex would make up for the horrid day he was about to have. He had to face Thor in this challenge or face mockery for being a coward and backing out.

Notes