Choices

Chapter 79
"I'm so proud of you!" Cephera hadn't let Fenrir go since they'd arrived home. Her arms hugging his thick neck as far as she could get them.
"Mama," Fenrir seemed a little embarrassed.
"Cephera, let him breath" Loki insisted, tugging her to her feet.
Reluctantly she got up. She'd met them in the doorway the moment she heard news of their arrival. Thor had awkwardly excused himself. He might have had nice words to say to Fenrir, but to Cephera he still seemed to have none.
"Look at your mouth." She frowned touching the place where his fur had singed away. His mouth was fine, he said it tasted bitter, but it didn't burn.
"It will grow back." Loki told her pulling her away before she mauled her son again. He couldn't help but smile though at his betrothed attentiveness.
"Thor said I did good! He was impressed." Fenrir boasted wagging his tail.
"Did he?" Loki could see the look of sheer surprise on her face before she glanced at Loki to confirm. He nodded.
"And the Valkyrie, they were impressed too! They wanted me to stay!" He was getting excited.
"You need to calm down. Go to the kitchens, they'll have food for you and then to bed." Loki commanded. His words were made of amusement. "You can tell her the tale tomorrow."
"Ahhhh," he groaned, but Fenrir set off, allowing Cephera to embrace him goodnight. It was late, far later than they originally thought they'd be. The whole palace was getting ready to go to bed.
"Stay with the Valkyrie?" Cephera questioned, concern in her tone.
"Don't worry, he's not going anywhere." Loki promised, kissing her forehead. "Let's go to bed."
"Wash first, bed later." She scrunched up her nose at the smell of him. He chuckled and followed her from their room for a bath.
***
The next morning came with unexpected summons. Odin wanted to see Loki and he wanted Fenrir to accompany him. Loki was nervous, it would be the first time Odin acknowledged Fenrir at all.
So Cephera helped Loki dress and she even combed the knots from Fenrir's already coarse fur. "You think he's got a medal for me?"
"A medal?" Cephera repeated. "I'm not sure Odin does those kinds of things." She frowned and looked to Loki.
"We'll see when we get there. You helped do a great thing yesterday. That beast was driving other voracious beasts toward the city and we can't have that." Loki stroked Fenrir's head. He hoped his father had good news. After the night before, he couldn't imagine it being anything else.
***
"I've never been in here." Fenrir told his father. "I'd only seen it from outside the doors." He added.
"It's an important room. My father does a lot of important things in this room." Loki told him.
As they approached Odin on his throne they'll fell quiet. "You wished to see us father." Loki said, noting how tired and older his father looked. Every decade that past, his hair became whiter.
"I did." Odin replied. "I received quite the interesting letter early this day." He informed them, gazing downward to look at Fenrir. "Brunhilda has sent quite a bit of praise for the hunt yesterday. Applauds your courage." Odin was talking directly to Fenrir.
"I didn't mind." Fenrir's voice was low, almost shy.
"She's made you a very honorable offer." Odin glanced at Loki, who stiffened.
"I don't want to leave." Loki could see the fear pass Fenrir's eyes.
"You cannot stay with your parents forever. Sometimes a man must move on." Odin replied. Loki wasn't sure if his father was using words like 'parents' or 'man' to just ease his conversation with Fenrir and keep out hostility. It was the first Loki had heard Odin even speak of them.
"I'm not grown." Fenrir replied.
"He is still a boy." Loki interjected.
"That may be so mentally, but physically your body grows larger than even the palace can accommodate. Soon you'll not be able to fit through out largest archways and then what?"
Loki felt hostile. He felt his father was taking advantage of this opportunity to send Fenrir away, just like he'd always wanted. 'He has a point.' The back of his mind shouted, the part that always tried to talk him out of the negative thoughts he always had.
"You just want him gone." Loki accused, unable to help himself.
"Loki, we both know there will come a time, even in a normal Asgardians life where they need to find their own way in life. If you treat your children as normal members of a family then you have to accept this." Odin sighed. "I am proud of the progress you've made with them. The concerns I once had are gone. I have confidence that they will cause no harm."
Loki hated that Odin looked sincere. He didn't want to believe this was the right path. "He's not ready." Loki insisted, leaving Odin to shake his head.
"When the time comes that he is too big to stay in the comfort of the palace, you will see that this is the right thing." Odin took a heavy breath. "I will not force him to go, but one day you'll have to consider it an option."
"I'll think about it until then." Fenrir spoke up before Loki could continue being defiant and angry.
"Very well." Odin nodded. "On to other business then, I think it's time we discuss your marriage. I have noticed the team you both make, raising these unorthodox children and I think you are ready for the life's commitment." Loki went from angry to surprised. Odin frowned at the look that past his face.
"Truly?" Loki asked stepping forward.
"Yes. I know you feel as though I sometimes do not care, that I overlook your achievements and downgrade your worth as a son, but Loki, that couldn't be further from the truth. It is hard to be both a king, setting standards for others, and a father."
Loki swallowed, that was what he thought, more often than not. Cephera was always telling Loki he was assuming too much, reading too much into his fathers actions, or lack of.
"When am I to wed?" Loki asked.
"The end of this year seems a fitting time." Odin smiled and Loki gawked. That was only 6 months time, a little less actually. Loki was floored by the news and conflicted between his excited emotions over the wedding and the thought of Fenrir leaving.
***
Cephera was overjoyed with news of the wedding and oddly not phased by the news of what Odin had to say about Fenrir. This annoyed Loki to a degree.
"He's always wanted them gone." Loki told her when she'd calmed her excitement and they were alone to speak in private.
"He's right Loki." She told him. "Look I've been thinking all day about it." She heaved a sigh. "Come with me." She urged and took his hand. She led him across the room to the double doors. "Look," she pointed to small indents in the wood up along the frame.
"Yes, I've seen them before." He told her.
"I've ben putting them there. I've been tracking Fenrir's growth. Loki he grew from here to here in only months. These are not from when he was a baby, I've only started this since he grew too big for single doorways." Loki knew Fenrir was growing fast, but he hadn't realized how much. He assumed it was because he saw him everyday.
"I know," loki sighed. "I know father is right, and one day Fenrir will be too large to fit within the confines of the palace. I just fear for him outside here. I'm worried about others taking care of him, or not taking care of him." Loki touched the notches.
"I don't want him to go either, but the reality is that if he continues to grow, he'll have to one day be placed somewhere else. My worry over it last night was selfish. I just want him by me always, but no child stays with their parent forever."
"I'll talk to Fenrir tomorrow. I'm afraid my reaction to him leaving may very well hold him back from being open to the thought. I'll clear it up with him." Cephera smiled, concern for the situation still in her eyes.
"He's not even gone and already the thought makes my heart ache." She admitted wrapping her arms around Loki's waist and cuddling her face into his tunic.
"I know." Loki held her and placed his lips to her hair, kissing her. Who would have thought he'd become a true father to them? To care for them this much. It seemed unnatural to think of a life without them now.
(Sif)
It had been quite the interesting time in Mechanova. Sif had learned not only fighting through other cultures, but ethnics. She and Fandral were having the time of their lives.
Rorik was becoming such a sweet child. Now a year and a half old. His character was beginning to show. He was all smiles and laughter.
But it was time for Sif to come home. There was a wedding in preperhation for a weeks time and she had some stuff that needed doing before it.
She walked the halls of the palace politely greeted by her peers. She'd made quite the impression and a good name for herself, despite her mother's constant letters of disapproval. Her mother constantly pushing Sif to reconcile her marriage and move past her childish dreams of battle.
But Sif had no desire to reconcile with Thor on a romantic level, but she missed his friendship. She hoped to at least mend that before the wedding.
Seraphina had told Sif about the rift that had come between Thor and Cephera. With Fandral gone, Loki getting married, Sif felt Thor needed someone right now. A voice of reason.
She moved through the familiar halls toward Thor's room and knocked.
A dull voice called out. Yelled most likely as there was a sitting room between them and the bedroom. She let herself in. When she pushed her way past the sheer drapes that shrouded the bed area she found Thor lying down among his many pillows.
He was definitely surprised to see her. "Sif," he said sitting up and comically covering his lower half with the edge of the sheets, as if she hadn't seen his cock before.
Thankfully, she didn't have to see him with another woman. She'd seen enough in the past to last her a lifetime. "Hello Thor," she replied with a smile.
"I didn't expect you home. I mean I didn't expect to see you here." He meant his room, he seemed flabbergasted at her presence.
"I came home to talk." She told him. "To turn over a new leaf so to speak." She continued to smile, to show him she meant no malice.
"Let me get dressed, perhaps some breakfast." He offered.
"Thor it's midday." She corrected, amused. He must have slept in.
"Dinner then, I'll have a servant fetch some food." He looked awkward, maybe it's because he just woke. She'd actually expected him to be in a bad mood, but it was nice to see he was mellow today.
"That's fine," she said. She watched him pull on a pair of discarded pants and waited for him to have servant fetch food.
"You wish to talk?" He asked her. "About?"
"Everything. The past, the present, the upcoming wedding and Cephera." She didn't lie, what was the point. She watched Thor swallow.
"Much has happened in these past decades." He agreed, though he looked unsure about the topic.
"Thor, I think your father was right." She began. "All those years ago, we rushed things." He nodded, solemnly. "It's taken me a while to not be angry anymore. To finally find a calm piece of mind where I could have this talk with you."
"It is not a talk I ever wanted to have, but alas, I suppose it must be done." He agreed.
"Do not doubt that I did love you, but I've learned that love can be fleeting and sometimes it's better to let go than to hold on. I think we held on for too long and resentment destroyed us."
"I never resented you." He said. "Though I gave you many a reason to resent me. I merely didn't understand your desires and later I admit I was jealous of your skills, embarrassed even." She could see how hard it was for him to admit that.
"I should have been more attentive to your feelings back then. I was in such a hurry to become who I always wanted to be I neglected to think of how that change would effect you. I should have seen your hesitance over my choices, should have known of your distaste." She frowned.
She had been blind. Even though Thor had pretended to be okay with it all, she should have known on some level what he really thought and that he was just trying to do the right thing.
"We both failed." He offered.
"Yes, equally so." She was sick of placing blame on him. It was time to see everything for what it really was. It wasn't any one action that brought them down, it was many. "I want to start over, as friends. I miss your friendship. I miss chatting with you. Partying with you."
He furrowed his brow in thought. "It would be refreshing." He nodded slowly at first and then a little more. "Yes, I would also enjoy that."
"Now, on to my next subject." Thor's face darkened ever so slightly and he turned his attention to the massive slab of meat on the plate a servant just brought in.
"Thor, don't be that way. I've heard about your fight with Cephera. This feud that's been created. Their relationship may not be one you want to see move to this next step, but you cannot deny they love one another."
Thor grumbled. "If you cannot get along with her at least be happy for your brother. Love is a special thing and we all make decisions that can hurt our partners, but is what she did really condemnable?" Sif watched Thor turn his eyes outside for a moment and then back again.
"I have reconciled myself to the fact that I was wrong regarding their children. That even monsters can grow to be more than that. Fenrir taught me that." Thor admitted. "But I fear for any decision she might make in future they may not end as well."
"Let Loki worry about that. You need to focus more on your own life than his." She sighed. "I know how much you love your brother, but he is not that tender boy you once knew. Long before Cephera came along Loki caused trouble for himself and even before they became a couple." She touched her dark threads of hair.
"Yes, Loki always did have a way of making a mess of things." Thor groaned and sat back in his chair. "I do not know how to treat her. I'm conflicted." His anger had ebbed away.
"But you don't hate her?"
"No." The admission seemed to drain Thor of energy. Like he'd been fighting the truth.
"Then tell her." Sif urged. "Before the wedding."
"I cannot. My anger with her still remains, just not the hatred." Thor shook his head. "You ask too much." He warned, his mood shifting.
"She needs your support as much as Loki does. She'll be your sister soon." Sif couldn't fathom how Thor's mind worked. He was always difficult.
"I know," his hand ruffled his hair. "It's good to see you. Good to have you home, but this is a matter I must contend with myself." She couldn't push him too much.
"Very well." She replied. She'd finished her food between speaking. "I'll see you in the training yards perhaps." She offered.
"No, join me for a hunt. We are trying to gather enough meat for the feast at the wedding. Meet Fenrir." He offered instead.
Sif's smile returned. "I'd like that." She agreed. She hadn't met Loki's children, and she had heard quite a lot from the letters sent to Seraphina from Cephera. Sif was more than curious about them.

Notes