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Never Saw it Comin'

Why did you go? I had to stay

I’m laying in bed with Jack right beside me. In this moment, we’re two 16 year olds listening to music. We’re not the son and daughter of Winter Soldier and Captain America. We’re not famous, we’re normal. This is one of the few times we’re allowed to be ourselves and not worry about what people think about us. These are the moments we crave.

“What are you thinking about?” I ask Jack, breaking the comfortable silence between us.

“The usual.” He mutters, his eyes never leaving my ceiling, “The future and what it holds for us. Wondering if we have to go the same paths our parents did before us.”

“We write our own future Jack, remember?” I ask him, causing him to turn his head so his blue eyes meet my own. “You’re the one that always told me that. You would tell me that whenever I stressed out about seeing wounds on my mom and dad after they came back from a mission. I use to be so worried about following in their footsteps.

“You’re the one that told me I had nothing to worry about. Now you’re the one that’s doing the worrying; why is that?”

“After you told me you’re training to be a SHIELD agent, it got me thinking. Do I have to follow in my father’s footsteps? Am I destined to be a Winter Soldier 2.0?” Jack’s face was relaxed but I know from the sound of his voice, he wasn’t. He was worried.

“Your dad’s good now; he’s nothing like the Russian’s made him.” I remind him. “Uncle Bucky is nothing what people make him out to be. He works for SHIELD now, Jack. Why are you so worried about what happened in the past?”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone Helena.” He looks at me with tears forming in his eyes, “I don’t want to be like him. I don’t want to kill people.”

“Your father was programmed by the Russians to do that. Winter Soldier was a covert killer that had a bad cause of amnesia. He’s better know. After my dad gave him the Tesseract begging him to remember who he was, that’s when your true father came back. And he’s stayed back. Jack, you’re not going to end up like him. You’re the good guy, whether you want to believe that or not.”

“I don’t feel good, Hells. I don’t want to do what our parents do. I don’t want to be a superhero.” Jack sits up on the bed, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. “I want to live a normal life and I feel horrible for that.” He buries his face into his hands, causing a sigh to escape my lips as I throw my legs over the edge of the bed.

“Then go to school, Jack. Do something with your life that’ll give you your own identity.” I tell him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Go to school for journalism and write about all the things that happen in the world. Make a difference that way.”

“Superheroes can’t have normal lives, why do you think their kids could?” His voice was cynical.

“They can live normal lives, it’s just harder to keep their lives separate. Look at Superman and Batman; they did it.” I point out with a chuckle; a vain attempt to lighten the mood. “Fine look at Tony Stark, he has a separate life away from his superhero life. Well not completely separate because the vain bastard had to tell people he’s Iron Man, but you get the picture. You can have a normal life Jack, you just have to work harder at it.”

He looks at me with his blue eyes completely bloodshot from crying, “The idea of being the next Clark Kent is tempting; only if I had a Lois Lane by my side.”

I smile before resting my head on his shoulder, “And you‘ll find her one day. Til then, you have me. Your trusty sidekick.”

“Superman didn‘t really have a sidekick, did he?”

“I believe he worked alone. So for all purposes, you‘re Batman and I‘m Robin; girl wonder!” Jack just laughs before putting his arms around me, pulling me back onto the bed as he lays down. My head rests on his chest as he plays with my blonde hair.

“You‘ll always be there for me, right?” He asks.

“Forever and always, Barnes.” I laugh, causing a hearty laugh to escape his lips. Something that has always been music to my ears…


Four Years Later

I walk onto the Hellacarrier after being flown in from my mission in London. Apparently they had something that needed my attention; something that’s more important than keeping an eye on a former HYDRA agent.

I get into the conference room and I see both of my parents along with Uncle Bucky sitting on one side of the table while the Director and Agent Hill sit on the other side.

“Is this some kind of intervention?” I ask, warily. Everyone remains silent, “Come on guys, just tell me what’s going on? I’m not a kid anymore, you can’t just look at me like you have bad news and you’re trying to find away to break it to me gently. It doesn’t work like that anymore.”

“This is about Jack.” Uncle Bucky informs me.

My eyes light up at the mention of my best friend; the same best friend I haven’t seen or spoken to in two years, “You guys found Jack?” I ask. It’s been two years since our search began. He left in the middle of the night after a huge fight with Uncle Bucky; something he doesn’t like to talk about. No one has heard of him since. Deep down I believe Uncle Bucky thinks he’s dead; it’s also something I’m starting to believe. Jack wouldn’t have left without telling me and he certainly wouldn’t have stayed gone so long without calling me. I was his best friend.

Instead of answering my question, Nicky Fury tosses a manila folder onto the table. I bite my lower lip lightly before I walk towards the table, grabbing the folder off of it. All eyes are one me as I open up the folder, instantly greeted with graphic pictures. Families lay murdered in their homes, children sliced up and used for drug trade. I could feel a lump in my throat form as I continue to look at the images before me. Before long, I throw the folder onto the table, collapsing into the chair by it. My father rushing towards my side; kneeling right in front of me.

“What does this have to do with Jack?” I croak out, my voice cracking with each word. “Daddy, please tell me.” My dad looks at me, tears in his eyes. He knows he can’t lie to me now, especially not after I called him Daddy; something I haven’t done since I broke my leg when I was 13 when I was begging him to make the pain go away.

“Jack is behind all of this.” He informs me before looking over at his best friend. Uncle Bucky sighs before getting up, leaving the room but not before I hear the almost inaudible sob escape his lips.

“Jack wouldn’t have done something like this. Jack isn’t cruel, ruthless; he’s a good guy.” I cry out, not wanting to accept the fact my best friend was behind this. “Daddy, Jack isn’t like Winter Soldier; he never wanted to be anything like that. That was his greatest fear.”

“I know what it’s like thinking your best friend couldn’t be a monster, trust me Helena, I understand what’s going on in your head.” My dad tells me, “But Jack is responsible for this, believe it or not. He’s not the same guy you knew.”

“Is this why you called me in; why I’m not back in London doing my job?” I ask, turning my attention to the aging Director.

“We’re pulling you from the former HYDRA member missing and flying you out to Budapest.” He informs me, “You’re the one that’s going to bring down Jack Barnes.”

“Why can’t SHIELD be like the police and not allow you to get involved with missions that involve your family!?” I snap as I jump from my seat. “How do you expect me to kill my best fucking friend!? I’ve known that guy my whole entire life. I know his favorite colors, I know what he eats when he’s bored. I know what--”

“You know what scares him the most.” Fury says, cutting me off. “You’re the only person in SHIELD that knows Jack Barnes better than he knows himself. He’s going to trust you.”

“He won’t. He knows I’m a SHIELD agent.” I point out the biggest flaw in his plan, “Jack probably knows SHIELD is on his tail. If I suddenly show up, he’s going to know something is up.”

“Not if you’re living in Budapest.” Agent Hill says before tossing me a set of keys, “These are the keys to your apartment in the heart of Budapest. In that apartment is your back story for the mission. As of right now, you’re no longer a SHIELD agent. You’re file is deleted in case he wants to hack our system and check.”

“You knew I was going to do this mission before I even agreed to come here, didn’t you?” I ask, playing with the keys in my hand. “What if I said no?”

“You have a choice, Agent Rogers; we figured you would want to be the one that took down Jack; not someone that could kill him with a perfect kill shot.”

“When do I leave?” I ask.

“Captain Rogers, Agent Carter why don’t you take your daughter on deck; her plane is about to leave…”

Notes

chapter title credit: Hymn for the Missing by Red

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Comments

This is sooo good! I love the complexity and the angst that you've already brought to the story. I can't wait to read more!
DestroyShelbeyy DestroyShelbeyy
3/18/13