Putting dye in people's shampoo bottles is easy enough and has never failed to satisfy my need for entertainment. I'm staying away from Pepper this time, though. I know better than to temper with Pepper's hair. That would be dangerous. When she's really angry, JARVIS obeys her over me, which is definitely hazardous.

So I'm in Rite Aid, browsing colors that I think would best match my team. Definitely blue for the most patriotic being I've ever known, Steve. Red to match Point Break's Asgardian attire. For our favorite cat-suit-wearing spy, bluish black to match her suit. For Bruce, a shade of green that mirrors his ultra-awesome angry side. And for Clint, medium brown to represent his inner hawk.

I pull into the garage of the tower with a bag of hair products resting in the passenger seat. My beautiful girlfriend Pepper Potts got a tip from JARVIS where I had gone and was waiting for me in the elevator. "Tony," she said in a scolding tone, "you know better than to mess with them. The majority of the team can kill you faster than you can even think the word 'sorry.' Especially Natasha. She isn't one for forgiveness."
"Sweetie. You have no faith in me. I'm Tony Stark. I can pull this off. It's a classic prank."
"Yes, well. Tony Stark, you can't say I didn't warn you." She began to walk away.
"And Pep?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't be a tattle-tale."
"Sweetie." she said in mockery, "You have no faith in me. I'm Pepper Potts." and walked away. I don't know wether she's going to warn anyone, but I'm not going to back out now.

---

Walking into the security room, I check to see which Avengers are not in their room. Bruce is always in the lab for a while, so I might as well start with him. I head off to his private bathroom carrying a concealed bottle of pale green hair dye. I make sure to have JARVIS on look-out duty since my only ally is refusing to get involved. Strangely enough, his shampoo is green originally so it's not hard to blend in. "One down, four to go."
On my walk back to the security room, I ask my favorite Artificial Intelligence system "JARVIS, where are our favorite spies, and when will they be back?"
"Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton are on a mission in Los Angeles and are expected back very late tonight."
"Keep me posted, JARVIS."
Clint and Natasha shared a floor because of their familiarity with each other. I swear they're sleeping together but nobody believes me. They have two separate bathrooms but I'm not sure how often they shower separately. I go to Natasha's bathroom first, and slip the dye I picked out into the most emptied bottle of hair conditioner. Spying a bottle of Axe hair product, I know I was right. They're the sharing type. Pepper doesn't let me keep my supplies in her bathroom. I go into Clint's bathroom as well and put the rest of his dye in the nearest bottle just incase he decided to shower in his own private bathroom. I spoil them so much. "Three down." I whisper to myself.

Returning to the security cameras, I look around Steve's floor and there's no sign of life anywhere. For someone who has no friends and a job without a regular schedule, he seemed to keep busy. I checked the gym next and he was just starting to break in his precious punching bags. Smiling, I grabbed the blue dye and was off to Steve's floor. He was so neat that it was irritating. Being in the army does that to you. It trains you to be neat and take care of yourself so properly. It really did get annoying. Almost as annoying as me.

So of course his shower was organized and he had lined up the bottles so carefully, in a pattern that I'll never understand. So I take the first bottle of Old Spice shampoo and put some of the blue hair coloring inside. This is just too easy. Maybe next time I'll let Clint in on the plan. I feel like he would be able to pull off a good prank. That makes four. Next on my to-do list; Make Goldilocks' locks a shade of deep red. "JARVIS, when is the almighty Thor going to arrive home?"
"Sir, Thor is in Colorado with Ms Foster. He is due back at the tower early this evening with her."
"Thanks JARVIS." I grabbed the red and headed to Thor's floor of the tower. In his shower, he had at least 10 various bottles of hair product. Apparently, a lot of effort goes into his maintaining his lucius locks of glory. I pick each of them up and see which one is used the most to determine which one to spike. Finding the bottle and dumping the deep red into it, I shout "Done!"

It's 3 p.m. now and I still have several hours before the team arrives. So I suppose I could find something productive to do. I'm heading toward the basement, my workshop, when Pepper stops me. "Hey, you. Have you finished yet?"
"Finished with what, darling?" I tried to smile innocently and pulled her in for a kiss. I'm bad at acting innocent, especially around her.
“I’m not involved in anything. I’m the mediator in this tower and it’s etched into my reputation that I keep you guys from killing each other.” She said, which is true.
“Okay, Pep. I was going to the workshop, but have you heard from our Spider recently?” I asked.
“Yeah, that’s why I came. She and Clint will be here in a few hours.” Pepper gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and went back to whatever she was doing before. Probably more paperwork. She’s such a busy body now and sometimes I feel bad about letting her do all the work and then I remember that I would just screw it up if I tried.

---

JARVIS announced at 4:45 “Tony, Thor has arrived with Mrs Foster.”
“Thanks, JARVIS.” I heard a faint thud where Thor and his genius mortal girlfriend landed on the doorstep. About half an hour later, I heard Thor roar “Tony Stark!” With a towel wrapped around his waist, he storms into the TV room with ferocious red hair. It came out really good, actually. “Tony. This is unacceptable. Undo this magic and return my hair to it’s natural state.”
“Sorry, friend. It’s temporary but nearly impossible to fix before your hair grows out.”
Jane came in the room and starts laughing, seeing Thor’s hair. “Oh, goodness. Can I get a picture of this?”
“This is not funny, Jane, it is something that Loki would do as children.”
“Okay, okay. Let’s go get some things from the drug store. We can crush up some Vitamin C tablets with water to take the dye out.”
“Aww, Jane, you’re no fun.”
“Whatever, Tony. I’m just glad I don’t live here to get constantly played by you.”
“Thanks, it’s what I’m best at.” They left to get dressed and go shopping.

---

It was 5:00 when they left and I asked JARVIS where our loyal Captain Rogers was.
“He is in the hall, sir, walking to his room.” JARVIS replied and I decided now would be the best time to get comfortable and to read some new news about Iron Man. They really couldn’t get enough of me. Of course, this time the other Avengers were in the article. 10 minutes later, I heard some angry footsteps coming my way.
“Tony, this is hardly acceptable.” Steve appeared with blue hair, but some blue dye on his neck. At least he managed to put on pants and a T-shirt before storming out here.
“Okay, Cap. You’re no fun. Not the best reaction. Call Jane. She’s picking up some stuff to repair Thor’s hair, too.”
He eyed me carefully. “Tony, I really hope you didn’t do this to Natasha.” I smiled and he sighed. “Well I’m not going to be in the tower when she gets the surprise.” He walked out of the room, phone in hand and I still don’t have a good response. Natasha’s reaction will definitely be interesting. I’m not certain wether Clint will hold her back this time or not, seeing as I’ve put dye in his shampoo as well. Since waiting is futile and boring, I told JARVIS, “JARVIS, wake me up when the spies get here. I’m taking a power nap.”

---

Many hours later, JARVIS woke me up as I had asked. “Mr. Stark, Agents Romanoff and Barton have just walked in their rooms.” I moaned and groggily got off the couch. “Did they go to separate rooms, or Natasha’ room?”
“They went into their own rooms.” I guess no hanky-panky tonight.
And about half an hour later, when I was drifting back to sleep, I heard a crash.
A seriously ticked off spy said “Старк является покойник!!” I got sick of not being in on Clint and Natasha’s private conversations a while ago, so I learned a little Russian. Of course, I don’t know Russian, I just know some of the basics. I recognized the word “man” but that’s about it. The way she said whatever she said, though was alarming.
“Agent Romanoff just said in Russian ‘Stark is a dead man.’ Sir, I suggest you exit the premises.”
“Keep your suggestions to yourself, JARVIS.” this system is surprisingly good with sass . . . . I suppose he learns from the best.
“Agent Romanoff will arrive to your location in approximately 30 seconds.”
“Thanks, JARVIS.” I mentally prepared myself and started a few quick stretches but before I could, she came in with Clint right behind her. Unfortunately, she was clothed and Clint hadn’t used his dye yet. She was wearing one of Clint’s T-shirt and a pair of her own sweats. She had the look on her face like she was going to kill me, and the best part was that her hair was jet black with a little hint of blue if you look at it right. I must admit, I thought that it would look strange and out of place, but she could pull it off.
“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now.”
“Because it looks good like that.” She started coming at me but when she was just inches away from me, Clint grabbed her and pinned her down. “Whoa, Hawkeye. Nice tackle.” He managed to free a hand and punched me hard where it hurts.
“Stark, I advise you to get away whilst I hold down the woman trying to kill you. Now.”
I might as well get away. I know, I’ll find Pepper and go for a nice walk.”You have fun with that. Call me when she’s calmed.”
“Don’t count on it.” As I’m walking away, I can hear him trying to soothe her with compliments and things like “don’t waste your time on him,” and my personal favorite, “he’s not worth it.” I tend to hear things like that a lot.
Clint never used my hair dye, he probably threw all his shampoo away and got new bottles. Unfortunately, somehow, Bruce noticed something wrong about his shampoo and threw it away, too. All in all, I think I did pretty good. My favorite was Natasha because I got to see her reaction but Clint was both strong enough and nice enough to hold her back from hurting me. I’ll probably pay for it later, but I don’t care. Fun is fun and I don’t think anyone could come up with a good revenge plot, besides maybe Natasha. I have to keep an eye on her. For now, though, I’m safe.

Notes

Hey, guys. I used Google Translate for the Russian part, so sorry if it's not correct.
I got annoyed after proofreading this the thousandth time, so I didn't proofread and fix errors as much as I usually do, so forgive any errors. Including in this dumb note.

I'll post a new chapter for this series or upload a chapter of a new story when this post gets 100 reads. Right now I'm working on a Clintasha AU that has an actual plot. So after I get a good portion of that done, I'll start posting that. But for now, I'll probably write a bunch of these stories because I have a few ideas;)

Any requests can be sent on my avengers tumblr; theavengersgivemehope.tumblr.com , my normal tumblr; julia-nettie-says-probs-not.tumblr.com Or comment on here, I don't care where. I'm kind of desperate to write something my readers want, so I will write anything you guys want. Subscribe, vote, comment yadda yadda.
~xoxo