Linger In My Mind and Drive Me Insane

Steve jerked awake from his sleep and groaned, holding his head. Ever since Bucky had joined The Avengers, he couldn't sleep. Bucky haunted his dreams and for the life of him, he didn't know why. No, he knew. He just didn't want to admit it to himself. He grabbed his journal off the side, scribbling the fading details of the dream down, shivering at the thought of Bucky's lips on his neck, Bucky hovering over him and treating him how he needed to be treated, tough but gentle. Bucky. Steve groaned and rubbed his face before going to get a drink. These dreams needed to stop. They were a welcome change from the constant nightmares but they were... There were something different. Steve slammed the empty cup down on the side and leant his forehead on the wall. These dreams had to stop. Steve went back to his room and lay down, groaning as he rubbed his face. He closed his eyes and tried to shut everything out, falling asleep quite easily.

......................

The next morning, Steve got up and went for a shower, mind going over what he was doing today. Tony had invited all of the Avengers over for Thanksgiving. It sounded like a good plan, other than the fact that Bucky was going to be there. He groaned at the thought of Bucky. He didn't think he'd be able to face him after these dreams. But if he didn't show up he would need to come up with a decent excuse as to why. After a broken nights sleep, he would never be able to come up with something that sounded half-plausible, let alone something that sounded like him. He got out and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist as he turned the shower off. Walking through to the bedroom, Steve slowly got dressed. He grabbed a bag and started putting clothes in, days out at Tony's always ended with everyone getting drunk and passing out and he wanted to be prepared for the next day. He picked up his journal, chucked it in the bag and closed it, putting it on his back and heading out to his Harley.

......................

Steve leant his Harley against the tower wall and headed inside. He nodded at Natasha and Clint before going up to his room to deposit his bag. Coming back down, he saw that Bucky wasn't there. Had he cancelled? He let out a small yelp when Tony smacked his back.

"Hey up, Cap! Happy Thanksgiving!"

"You too, Tony."

Steve got his journal from his pocket and sat on the couch, reading over the details of last night's dream. He shook his head and flipped the page, beginning a sketch. He hummed softly as he did so. The features of Brooklyn came to life under his pen and he smiled weakly as they seemed to jump out the paper.

"Hey stupid."

A familiar voice cut through his thoughts, a familiar cold metal hand touched his shoulder. Steve jumped off the couch with a yell.

"Woah Steve, calm down, it's just me, Buck."

Steve nodded and hastily shoved his journal in his pocket, not noticing a page falling out of it. He grinned weakly at Bucky and walked out to sit with the others and eat, sitting a little way away from Bucky.

......................

Tony walked through the Tower on his way to the basement to get more wine. He trod on a piece of paper and slipped a little, landing heavily. He grumbled and snatched it up. Trust Steve to leave paper everywhere. He opened it and scanned the words quickly, his eyes widening.

'I want Bucky, no, I need him. This is driving me insane. It's been like this since we were teenagers. Why can't I just have him? Yet I don't want God to send me to Hell, though Heaven knows I would go willingly. Maybe I do belong way down below. This is wrong. So wrong. Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. But I would love to say Bucky and Steve. One, two, three, four, is that the Devil knocking at my door?'

Tony read the frantic scribbles across the lines. Steve had a crush on Bucky? About time, everyone said they would make a cute couple. But what was all this about God sending him to hell? Right, Steve grew up in the 30s. He didn't understand this was alright. He shoved the paper in his pocket and continued down to the basement, a plan slowly forming in his mind.

......................

Bucky got up to head to the toilet and hummed a little before yelling out as someone grabbed him.

"DON'T KILL ME IT'S TONY!"

Bucky slowly lowered his metal arm and uncurled the fingers.

"What the hell are you playing at, Stark?"

Tony flinched away from the snarled response, swallowing hard at the glare Bucky gave him.

"How do you feel about Steve?"

Bucky took a step back. What the hell was this about? He thought about it. He'd always loved Steve. More than friends? Possibly. He always felt a small tug in his chest when he thought about his old friend.

"He's a friend. Why?"

"Because he's crushing on you, hard, and it's obvious you're crushing on him."

"So what?"

"So. Tell him how you feel."

"I don't believe you, Stark."

Tony thrusted a piece of paper into Bucky's hand and he opened it, eyes scanning over Steve's rushed writing. His eyes slowly widened. Steve had liked him since they were teenagers? Was it as long as he had liked Steve?

"This is a joke..."

"I promise you, Bucky, it's not. Now, I have a plan..."

......................

Steve sipped his water and stared out at New York from the roof. It seemed so peaceful at night. Footsteps echoed out and he turned around to see Bucky. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat and smiled.

"Hey Stupid."

Steve let out a small chuckle.

"Hey, Buck."

"I, uh, was hoping to talk to you about something."

Steve nodded and turned his attention back out the to city.

"Tony found this page from your notebook. Bucky and Steve ey?"

Steve's pale cheeks turned bright pink and he refused to look at Bucky, feeling tears prick in his eyes.

"I'm sorry... You were never meant to find out..."

"Hey... Steve, how old where you when you knew you liked me?"

"I think I was 17. You were 13."

"That long, eh?"

Steve nodded and sat down on the edge of the roof. He should just throw himself. End this now. He stiffened as Bucky sat next to him.

"You know, there was something I never told you when we were kids..."

"And what would that be?"

Bucky turned Steve's head and kissed him deeply. Steve's eyes opened in shock and he dropped the glass, not caring that it fell off the edge of the roof.

"I, James Buchanan Barnes, am in love with you, Steven Rogers. I have been since I was 14. I never wanted to be away from you. I love you, Steve. Please, be with me."

Steve nodded, in complete shock before he threw his arms around Bucky's neck, kissing him hard, tears streaming down his face.

"Of course I'll be with you Bucky.. Just never leave me."

"I swear Steve. I'll never leave."

Notes