Only Fools Love Monsters

Tony and Loki didn't wake up the morning after their shopping excursion, because they had never gone to sleep.
They had spent the night in the lab, Tony working and Loki hovering. Tony was surprised when the god asked him to show him how midguardian technology works without magic. All the same, Tony wanted to know how Asgardian technology worked with magic. But, until Loki was back to full health, he would have to stick with teaching Loki.
"Morning all," Tony grumbled as he and Loki stepped off the elevator.
"Steve slept in," Clint sighed, "find your own breakfast."
Tony and Loki let out an audible sigh. No one enjoyed it when Steve slept in because, as far as they knew, none of them could cook. Steve sleeping in always meant that their options most likely ranged from pop tarts to fruit, something Loki had quickly caught onto.
A few minutes later, Loki was sitting on the couch between Thor and Tony, drinking tea and eating a piece of toast. Tony drank coffee with one hand and draped the other over the back of the couch, drawing absentminded circles on the god's shoulder. Thor was sharing a box of pop-tarts with Bruce, who was sitting on the armchair beside him. Clint and Natasha were eating fruit and occupying the love seat. They had the TV on and Clint was flipping through channels without paying much attention. It had come to their realization some time ago that, without Loki or someone to fight, they all led fairly boring lives. The only ones who seemed to have obligations were Clint and Natasha, but Fury called them in rarely and only for the big missions. Even living with Loki had turned into an everyday thing, nothing they really thought about any more, it seemed as though he had always been there. It would've surprised the rag-tag team if it were not for the fact that it had, in fact, become such an everyday thing.
"He lives!" Tony exclaimed, interrupting the silence as Steve stepped off the elevator.
"Hilarious," Steve grumbled, bleary eyed.
Head turned to him in brief acknowledgment before turning back to the screen none of them were actually watching. Steve made up a bowl of cereal and sat on the floor, his head rested between Tony and Loki's legs. The pair looked at each other out of the corner of their eyes.
The two of them, more than anyone else, had noticed the normalcy all the others had adopted. To them, it was more important, at least to Tony. Tony wanted Loki to feel comfortable and it was little things like a tired Steve leaning his head on the god's knee as he drifted back to sleep with his cereal bowl precariously balanced in his hands that reassured the genius.
"Sir, director Fury is here," Jarvis interjected suddenly.
Tony felt like slapping something. Fury was the exact opposite of calm, as was evident by the way the Norse dynamic duo bristled at the name.
"Angry?" Tony asked, deciding to assess the situation before engaging.
"Extremely."
The team let out a groan, an angry Fury was never the bearer of good news. He didn't mean to be an unpleasant man, some of them knew that, however, that was exactly what he was. But an angry Fury was a normal Fury and extremely hard to shoo away, "Let him in," Tony sighed, rubbing his face.
"To allow the director of fury entrance whilst in an excessively foul mood could be labeled as a self-destructive action," Loki said matter-of-factly, Tony just shrugged; he was always bemused by the way Asgardians' talked. But he was too tired right then to care about whether he was being self-destructive or not, he just wanted to get it over with. They all waited, too tired to be too worried as Fury traveled up to them on the elevator.
"To what do we owe the pleasure?" Tony asked half-heartedly as Fury stepped onto the floor.
The one-eyed man was silent as he walked over to them. He seemed surprised when Thor stood suddenly, his face shadowed dangerously.
"Nicholas Fury," Thor said darkly, it was as if he had forgotten before that he was angry at the man, but he remembered now, and he was angry.
"Yes, Thor?" Fury asked, sounding bored with the god's temper.
"I would just like to remind you that, before you explain your arrival, that if it is to threaten my brother again, you should turn right back around," The steel in Thor voice threw off the group, no one but Loki was used to seeing the god of thunder angry, "I do not think that you want to make an enemy out of Asgard, quite the opposite, and in order to prevent this from occurring, I would advise you never to attack my brother again. In case you have forgotten, he is a rightful prince of Asgard and in all honesty, Director, you are lucky to still be standing after your past actions. If these had been normal circumstances, I or Loki would've killed you on the spot, and to put your mind at ease, you should know that, even without his magic, my brother could kill you very easily."
"Why didn't he then?" Fury asked with a placid voice. It was grinding on Thor's nerves that he seemed unfazed, and Fury knew it.
"It might've caused problems for me," Loki said from his spot of the couch. Steve hadn't bothered to move after he woke up and was currently craning his neck back to see the mild-mannered god, "I didn't feel like murdering the leader of earth's shield was a part of my 'reforming' process."
Tony let out a chuckle and smiled at the god who, to his surprise, gave him a subtle wink.
"Good to know," Fury muttered, "but, no Thor I did not come here to throttle your brother, even though it would be-" He stopped when Thor shot him a look that was, more than likely, a promise of his very immediate death, "I actually came here to deal with this," He walked behind the couch Loki and Tony were sprawled unceremoniously across and pointed to Tony's finger that continued to rub circles on his god's shoulder.
"Well gee, would you look at that!" Tony exclaimed, feigning surprise, "how did that get there?" He gave Fury his best grin and continued the movement.
"Maybe you'd like to tell me," Fury huffed, seeming more annoyed than angry now as he tossed a newspaper into Tony's lap. Tony unfolded it and let out a roaring laugh.
"Lok- Lok- Loki, look!" Tony managed between laughs, Loki plucked the paper from the hysterical man and gave it a once over before joining the billionaire in sidesplitting laughter. Steve reached up and plucked it from Loki's loose grip. Despite himself, Steve couldn't help but crack a smile and allowing a bubble of laughter to escape his throat. Bruce grabbed it from Steve and laughed so hard he fell out of his armchair. This continued for another minute or so, which was another minute or so that made the Director wonder if he had, in fact, recruited a team of very large children.
The last person to receive the paper was Thor who reacted by letting out a deep chuckle as he proceeded to roll up the paper and whack Tony upside the head with it.
"Ouch!" Tony laughed, "It's not my fault!"
"I don't see how it's anyone but your fault, Starkson!" Thor chuckled.
"Let's try your horse-bearing brother over here!" Tony said, erupting in a new fit of laughter at the look on Loki's face as he said it. He had told Jarvis to remind him to read up on his Norse mythology, so the god shouldn't have been surprised.
"Thor!" Loki exclaimed, throwing an empty pop tarts box at his brother.
"That is what happens when you intrude on my love life, little brother!" Thor said, doubled over in hysterical laughter.
"It is not my fault I am so endearing! You did not stand a chance!" Loki quipped, a glorious smile spreading across his lips, "and I cannot believe you told the midguardians that I gave birth to a horse, that was far worse than me stealing one of your many bedmates!" the group had now been reduced to six quivering masses of breathless laughter.
Fury was greatly regretting coming as he watched with a mixture of exasperation and slight, very slight, amusement. He let out a sigh and scooped the print from the floor.
"No!" Tony said breathlessly, his face red and eyes watering, "No! I'm pinning that on the fridge!" He snatched the paper from the man and rushed over the counter and crashed into the stainless steel fridge. He tore out the front page and tacked it too the metallic service with the ironman magnet he had taken to jokingly putting on all the mansion's magnetic services. He stepped back and admired his handiwork, Clint and Bruce let out wolf-whistles and whoops of approval. Tony smiled at the tabloid and was pleased with how it looked.
"Now, this fridge shall forever be a reminder, Lokster, that human paparazzi are deadly efficient!" Tony grinned as he winked at the giggling trickster.
"I have no idea what means, Anthony," Loki grinned, making his way over to Tony and staring at the paper, "Tony Stark: Genius, Playboy, Philanthropist, Gay" Loki read with a grin on his face, "It is truly an endearing title," He smirked, starring at the slightly blurry picture of he and Tony kissing at the mall.
"If you all are quiet done acting like children, I'll be on my way," Fury said, rubbing his temples.
"What can I say? I'm irresistible!" Tony grinned, draping his arm around Loki's waist. Loki chuckled and flicked the playboy's ear.
"What if someone had recognized him?" Fury asked, intent on having the conversation he had intended to instigate by coming.
"How would anyone recognize him? Look at him," Tony answered.
It was true, Fury had to admit. The god was frighteningly thin, he looked frail, like he would break at the slightest touch. How the god's regal aura seemed unwavering, was beyond the director.
"Don't be so mellow dramatic," Tony sighed, "I'll be more careful."
"Need I remind you, this is the man who killed Colson? You may not remember, but I do. So next time you decide to make an appearance outside these walls, at least try to remember why the world hates him," At that Fury spun on his heels and was gone, leaving the group in awkward silence.
"Kill joy," Tony muttered under his breath. Each one shot each other fleeting looks, clarifying with each other that they had, in fact, forgotten about agent Colson.
"I missed on purpose, you know, his heart," Loki said, swirling his tea nervously with his finger, "He seemed like an interesting person."
"He was," Steve said quietly from his spot on the floor.
Loki stood there, in silence, a scowl marring his face. His face had visibly paled and he appeared as though he would be sick any second now.
"But," Steve added, "He knew the risks, he was a soldier like all of us. You can't get through a war without casualties."
"Several thousand casualties," Loki grimaced, standing. He shook his head, then walked down the hallway.
They heard him open and close his bedroom door, then it was silent.
"Seriously, Tony?" Clint asked, trying to lighten the mood, "in the mall?"
"It was one kiss! It's not like I was hump-"
"Please take into consideration, before you continue, that the person you are speaking of is, in fact, my baby brother," Thor interjected.
"Not your baby brother!" Loki yelled from his room, making everyone burst into laughter, albeit a bit guiltily.
"You shall always remain my baby brother!" Thor grinned, "And I will always be your elder brother!"
"You are a bumbling oaf, that's what you are," Loki grinned, returning from his room, wearing black jeans and a green AC/DC tee.
"I think someone else should go shopping with you next time, Lok," Bruce grinned.
"And who do you suggest?" Tony grinned, "let me review our options here... We have: 'Merica, who is permanently frozen in the 40's."
"Please excuse me for being from the 40's, my bad," Steve rolled his eyes.
"Point break would most likely buy curtains and a wedding dress."
"You told him?" Thor gaped at Loki, who gave him a snarky grin.
"You told the Midguardians I gave birth to an eight legged horse," Loki said, laughing when Thor shrugged when he realized it was a valid argument.
"And Legolas, Tasha and you, Good Doctor, just aren't even an option," Tony finished, grinning.
Bruce raised his arms in mock defeat, "Fine, Rudolf can wear band t-shirts every day for all I care."
"Good," Tony smirked, grabbing Loki's waist and pulling him down with him on the couch.
"Audacious mortal," Loki said, surprised by the sudden movement.
"Always, stubborn god."
"Always," Loki smiled.

Notes