To Be Reborn The Butterfly

For three days no one sees or hears from Loki. Steve hides in his room. He is inconsolable. They all sit and they wait. No one knows what to expect. Loki looks out at the tower from his hiding place. He is the man he was before, except not. The short time he has lived here has changed him in a profound way. His base form is still female, he has come to learn. He is only male in appearance now because he wished it so. He is a skilled shape shifter after all. It feels good to have all of his previous knowledge, skill, and training return to him. He’d been quite crippled by the loss of his education.
Loki considers shifting back into his female form, returning to the tower, and simply resuming things as if nothing happened. But he knows better. Even if he could find it within himself to be female 24/7 (which he can’t, he just can’t), he is his old self again. He has his personality back. He is distrusting, cunning, vicious, wounded, and vulnerable. He is surprised to find that he is not as power hungry as he used to be. Not like before. Thor has much to do with that.
Thor. Thor loved Loki when he was like this. Male and broken inside. Thor loved Loki when he was female and clueless. Thor has love Loki throughout all of this mess. Thor loves Loki still.
Loki thinks of Steven and the love he feels for the man. He does love Steve, but he also knows Steve is a simple man with simple tastes. Steve will continue to love Loki so long as he is female and doe eyed. Loki grimaces with the knowledge of what he must do.
Steve is folding a load of towels in his room when Loki appears. He looks regal.
“Have you come to kill me?” Steve asks. He looks so wrecked that Loki’s heart hurts to look at him. In this moment, Loki believes Steve truly wouldn’t care if he did kill him. He is hurting that much.
“No Steven. I’ve come to take your pain away.” Loki walks towards Steve cups his face with his hands. Loki can feel Steve’s body cringe at the intimate touch of another man. It is just as Loki suspected would happen.
“I wanted to thank you Steve Rogers for loving me, and saving me, and protecting me. You have given me back my heart and my sanity. I could never harm you, or the others. I love you very much.” Loki leans in and places a chaste kiss on Steve’s lips. Steve’s lips remain stiff, and it seems that at least some of the love Steve felt for Loki bleeds away. It would never work out between them now.
“Find a nice girl, marry her, and have lots of sex and babies.” Loki commands. Loki turns to leave.
“Where will you go now?” Steve asks.
“Asgard. I’m going home to Asgard. It is where I belong.” Loki says. He walks out of Steve’s room to find the others. Everyone tenses up at first when they see him, but the look on Loki’s face calms them and they know that he means them no harm.
“I wanted to thank all of you. You opened your home and your hearts to me. It was a brave, risky, and foolish thing to do. You are fearless in a way that I shall never know, and I am in your debt.” Loki looks at Clint and says with greatest sincerity. “I’m sorry.”
Loki walks out to the balcony and looks towards the sky. “Heimdall, at your leisure.” Loki disappears in the rainbow light and is gone.
Loki steps onto the landing and looks up at Heimdall.
“Welcome back to Asgard.”
“Where is Thor?”
“He’s in a council meeting with your father. They are discussing a possible marriage alliance with Vanaheim.
“How much do they know?”
“I informed them of your victory in battle three days ago.” Heimdall says criptically.
“My Victory? So they know I have the scepter in my possession again. Nothing else?”
“No my prince. You should probably hurry. They are drawing closer to an agreement.” Loki nods at Heimdall’s suggestion and uses his powers to whisk himself away to the palace. He materializes just outside the door to the council chamber. It will most assuredly be filled with all the nobles, royal advisors, and foreign delegates. Loki combs his hand through his hair. He contemplates whether or not he should appear in his female form, but decides against it. He pushes the doors open and walks in.
“….I will honor this marriage agreement. I give you my w….” Thor is cut off.
“NO YOU DON’T!” Loki says. He charges down the aisle in the middle of the room towards the table. Everyone yells in shock. Thor’s mouth pops open. Loki comes to stand right in front of the man he loves.
“Brother?” Thor asks. In that single word Thor is asking a dozen different questions, all of which have different implications.
“You really need to stop call me that. You will give people the wrong idea about us.” Loki says right as he grabs Thor and pulls him in for a deep passionate kiss. The whole room erupts into scandal as Thor kisses him back. Loki even jumps up and wraps his legs around Thor’s waist.
“Take that fucking ugly daughter of yours and get the fuck out. The only person Thor is marrying is me.” Loki says to the Vanaheim delegate. The man has a conniption as he grabs his daughter and leaves in a huff, yelling and threatening war as he goes.
“Loki?” Thor and Loki turn as one at the sound of their father’s voice. Loki unwraps his legs from Thor and walks over to his father. His Father. Only now can Loki appreciate the great risk Odin took by bringing him home to raise as his own child. The Avengers had done it for him and had suffered for it. Everyone that dares to love Loki winds up suffering for their efforts. Loki is tired of inflicting pain on those who care for him most.
“Aye father.” He says quietly. Loki moves his hands and pulls out the scepter from its hiding place and places it on the table in front of Odin.
“How much do you remember?” Odin asks.
“Everything. Well almost everything. There is a gap from when after I was captured to after my rebirth. I don’t remember the execution.” He says.
“Have you come home to me my son?”
“Aye.” Loki says simply as his voice breaks. They embrace as the tears fall freely.
“I think I might have started a war with Vanaheim.” Loki says to Odin.
“You let me worry about Vanaheim. You have bigger problems.” Odin looks at Thor and takes his leave. The other people in the room take their cue from their King and follow him out of the room to give the two princes some privacy.
“Vanaheim Thor? Really?”
“I thought you were lost to me. Heimdall told me of how you and Steven were growing close. What happened to you? How is it that you have returned to me?”
“The scepter. Doom showed up with his robots again. Somehow he’d managed to steal it away from the mortals. I don’t how or why you ever thought it was a good idea to leave it in their care, but I am glad you did. When I took the spear from Doom and tried to use it, all my memories came flooding back.”
“But how is that even possible?” Thor asks.
“Back before the attack on New York I instituted a fail-safe within the scepter to protect my mind. Using the scepter to control the minds of others is a dangerous business. I could have easily harmed myself if I wasn’t careful. I could have easily inflicted damage to my mind, my memories,…..and my sanity.” Loki says the last word very quietly.
“You have your memories back and now you are home. Why aren’t you with Steven?”
“Because Steven doesn’t enjoy sucking cock.”
“Don’t be so crude and flippant Loki!”
“Why not! It’s true! Look at me Thor. Steven is a good man. A simple man, who likes sweet good girls. Even if I chose to stay in my female form, and I am still female technically by the way, I am a man at heart. I was born a man and lived as a man for over 3000 years. This….. is who I am. And I deserved to be loved and fucked just like this.”
“How do I know you won’t hurt me again?” Thor says with hurt in his voice. He’s had his heart ripped out and stepped on too much. He doesn’t know if he could survive anymore.
“Marry me Thor. I’ll be a woman at the ceremony and man in our bedchambers. I’ll be your queen, your confidant, and your love. For you will be mine. You will be my whole world Thor. Living here in Asgard surrounded by people who hate me, and oh how the people do HATE me Thor, you will be my reason, my only reason for remaining and thriving in this place. For you I’d suffer through all the vicious looks and indignation, because you are worth it Thor. I know my next heat is a long time off, but when it comes it will be glorious. You will fill me with your seed, and I shall be eager for it.” Loki leans in and whispers the next words into Thor’s ear. “I’m eager for it now. Mark me. Claim me. Make me forget that I’ve ever wanted anyone else.”

Notes