The night fell over the kingdom, and the stars exposed themselves to all below.
Is it impossible to believe such small, insignificant specks of gas and dust could be so precious, so beautiful?
No, it is not impossible.
The stars are my friends, and in a sense I am one with such stars. I was a small, insignificant speck of nothingness, the DNA of my supposed father’s enemies, and yet I will become special, beautiful and important in my own right!
The fire within me is still strong, like it was when I pursued the throne. However, I have given up that hopeless dream of ruling Asgarde, as I am clearly not welcome in this realm. I will venture out into the galaxy and find my own place to rule. Surely there is some place that wants to be ruled, by a King… by real power.
I sighed as I turned away from my window which overlooked the glorious kingdom, reaching out over my gold and silk threaded sheets that laid themselves neatly on my newly-made bed. I figured I would leave everything clean and sharp, lest I further inconvenience the people that have taken me in out of love with a mess more obvious than that of my very existence.
Everything was left pristine. The lavish, spacious room in which I spent most of my time, even as a young child.
Memories flooded my mind. Fond memories of schemes I used to etch into scrolls, the shenanigans I used to carry out on my peers. I'd always keep my feather pens neatly laid inside a velour-lined drawer of my bedside table. The ink pot was always sealed tightly after use, never spilled once. I was a very neat, organized child, perhaps because I had nothing better to do most days.
Without invitation, the painful memories began to slither in. I was quite the artist in my adolescence. But while most children would draw a portrait of them with their families, I would draw portraits of myself, of monsters, of landscapes. I drew because I was alone. My father never took me out hunting, or traveling in the bifrost. It never seemed to bother me back then though, simply because I was used to it and I was too young to understand. Only now do I see how favored Thor was over me.
I interrupted my own thoughts, and realized my hands balled into a tight fist, my nails digging crescent shaped marks into my palms. My breath released from my chest, and I pushed my raven hair back over my forehead.
These memories will haunt me no more.
I took my beautiful helmet in my hands –my pride and joy- and dressed myself, brushing myself off so that I may be presentable upon my departure.
Stepping into the doorway, I placed my hand upon the pillar and gave a brief look over my shoulder.
“I will not miss home. I cannot miss that which was never a real home, and this in itself never was. Rather, it was a temporary living situation, like that of a bird inside of a nest. Well, the bird has wings now. It is time to leave the nest and fly to that which is my glory.”
Grinning to myself, I placed my helmet upon my head and walked through the living quarters, the torches that remained lit in the hallways guiding my way.
The architecture was quite simple. Bricks made of solid gold made up the walls and ceiling and floor, bright red carpets lead the way down the hall.
It was quiet, as everyone was to be asleep. Except for my ‘mother’, who would be at Odin’s side until he awoke once again.
“Mother.” I though to myself, “Will she cry when I am gone, as she has wept for Thor in his banishment?”
My thoughts gravitated to her. Odin had always been a drive of that competition between Thor and I, the wedge that drove us apart in our quest for greatness. Sigyn? She… loved Thor and I equally. Surely she must also have known that I was nothing more than a bastard child and a useless attribute to the family. And yet, she never favored her biological son over me, though he could achieve more than I.
I shed a small tear from the corner of my eye as I continued down the hall, my footsteps heavy as that little place in my heart that harbored feelings for her.
Silently, I walked past Odin’s chambers where he laid peacefully. Sure enough, my mother was seated beside him, lost in her thoughts.
Sighing heavily, I entered the room and at once found myself at her side.
“How is he?” I asked, feigning care.
"Oh, Loki." said mother, "You know he'll be alright."
I nodded.
"Mother... I know never made it apparent to you, and possibly even made it look like I never had a care in the world at times, but..." My voice trailed off as I swallowed the lump that was slowly growing in my throat, "I just want you to know that I loved you. All this time I have loved you, Mother."
She smiled at me, her warm, lovely smile radiating back at me, as she stood up to embrace me in her arms.
"Oh, Loki." She sighed, "I know. I have always loved you too. And I always will, no matter how mischievous you may be at times."
I let a dry laugh escape my lips as I gently kissed her forehead, and she let me leave her arms.
"Goodnight, Mother."
"Goodnight, Loki." Mother said as I turned on my heels and left the room.
Making my way down the remainder of the hall and through the rest of the living quarters, the tears began to burn in my eyes. I could not let them escape, I had to prove my strength.
She was the only one I would miss, and even then, if I could erase Asgarde from my memory, what was to stop me from erasing her? I will forget anything that causes me pain.
As I came to the palace gates, the warm breeze blew all around me. It gave me a feeling, like that of comfort, of serenity. Closing my eyes and stretching my arms out, I slowly melded into my surroundings, becoming one with the wind. I had become nearly transparent, the air whipping at me rippled my disappearing body.
Invisibility. It was a little trick I had taught myself when I was younger, to carry out my mischievous, harmless pranks.
I remembered it well, and the thought of it filled me with such giddiness that I let out a laugh, one of pure joy... the first I had uttered in such a long time. It felt wonderful, beautiful... just like the stars that hung themselves above me, the very stars I myself was made of.
Letting out a satisfied sigh, I ventured further on my way to complete my mission. It was dark out, but I knew where I was to go.
What have I to fear?