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For I have Kissed Thee a Thousand Times

Comfort Kiss

Stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain
[He'll] open up the door and say "Are you insane?"
Say it's been a long 6 months
And you were too afraid to tell [him] what you want
- "How You Get the Girl" Taylor Swift (1989)

She hasn't had a proper home in months. The best place she's stayed was a little shack right outside a small town where no one knew her name. But they'd found out eventually because, even with the blond hair and makeup, she's still the same. So she finds herself on his doorstep in the pouring rain. The clothes she's been able to steal don't hold up against the downpour, so she's soaked to the bone and shivering. All she wants to do is see him, tell him she's fine and go on living her miserable existence in hiding.

A small smile plays across her lips as she takes note of the house he's living in. It's a very normal looking house, almost like Sam's in some respect. And she knows it is because Sam's house is right across the street. The lights are on in what might be the living room or the kitchen and a shadow walks around, looking frustrated. She hopes it's him. She hopes he's here so she can reassure him and move on with her life.

It's been six months since she's seen him. She remembers that last day, at the graveyard. Her final goodbye, making him promise to call that nurse that wasn't a nurse. It had made her heart squeeze to hear his chuckle, a flutter in her chest when he looks at her with those beautiful ocean blue eyes and how they light up when she cracks a joke. It hurts, but she has to give him up if she wants him safe. But she can't stay away from him. It's impossible.

"Hello?" Just hearing his voice makes her shiver, but there is a warmth in it that slightly shields her from feeling the chill of the rain. She watches as his faces swings from side to side as he looks for the person who knocked on his door. She steps into the light, shaking as his gaze lands on her. "Natasha?" His voice is breathy and surprised as his eyes light up, a huge smile spreading across his face. She's kind of glad she decided to dye her hair back to red.

"Hi, Cap." She lets a small smile echo his, but her body is wracked with shivers again. She stumbles, eyes wide as she feels herself falling, but warm, strong arms catch her and pull her into him. "Just stopped by to tell you I'm fine."

Steve scoffs and shakes his head, pulling her closer to him and dragging her inside. "Are you insane?" She shudders at his tone of voice, but she can see in his eyes that he's worried about her. He brings her to the living room and sets her down on the couch, not caring at all if it gets wet. The redhead shivers, her teeth chattering and her eyes glassy with exhaustion.

"I'm fine." She wraps her arms around herself. "Just wanted to stop by and say hi. Check in and all that."

The captain shakes his head at her. Going to his bedroom, he grabs a pair of sweats and one of his shirts for her to change into. He puts them in the bathroom and fills the tub with warm water. He doesn't want to shock her system too much by putting her cold body in hot water. When he walks back out of his room, he finds her curled into herself on the couch, hands under her armpits and her lips almost blue. "Come on," he pulls her up into his arms, carrying her bridal style into the bathroom. "Do you want me to stay?"

Natasha, her face flushed from both the warmth of the room and the concern in Steve's eyes, just nods. After being partners for so long, they've gotten used to these moments. The quiet, intimate moments when they comfort each other after a harsh mission or nightmares.

Steve turns his back to her as she gets into the tub and scrubs the dirt and grime of the past month off of her skin. While she works, Steve tells her about his mission to find Bucky. She feels sleepy listening to his voice, so she puts the washcloth down and steps out of the tub, a little bit steadier on her feet. "You can turn around now," Natasha tells him as she slips the sweatshirt over the too-large T-shirt he's letting her borrow.

Steve chuckles as the sweatshirt seems to swallow up his little spy, but at her glare he quickly stops. "You can sleep here tonight." He pulls back the comforter for her. Once she's settled into his bed, surrounded by his scent and the comfort of the warmth that radiates from him, she smiles sleepily and pulls on his arm.


He sighs and quickly slides into bed beside her. Before he can settle down, she raises herself onto her elbows and presses her lips to his. It's all soft and gentle and a whimper escapes her lips before she can stop it. He presses back just as softly with a small smile on his face. Cupping her cheek in one hand, he wraps her in the comfort of his other arm and she presses one of her hands against his heart. It beats out a steady rhythm and slowly lulls her to sleep.
She knows that he'll be here in the morning to give her the comfort she's missed after six months of being away from his arms.

When she wakes up, all Natasha feels is warmth. She feels safe for the first time in months and it's all thanks to the man wrapped around her. His breath is warm on her neck and, although she doesn't want to move from her position. Instead, she buries her face in his chest, breathing in the unique scent of Army regulated soap, sandalwood, and a masculine musk that is purely Steve Rogers.

"G'mornin', Nat," Steve mumbles into her neck, making a shiver race up and down her spine.

"Morning, Cap," she nuzzles farther into his hold.

"I missed you."

"Missed you too." She knows that she can't hold anything back from him. Not when he knows her so well. Not after they tore down SHIELD and HYDRA. Not after losing the only "fatherly" figure in her life. She knows that he is the light in her darkest hour and she needs him now more than ever. The spy can't hide anything from him because he knows her too well. He'll know if she's lying. So she tries to squirm away from him, to protect him from her, from the red in her ledger that she will never be able to wash away.

"Where you goin'?" Steve mumbles, wrapping an arm around her waist to still her movements.
"I've got to get going, Rogers," she replies, her voice cracking with sadness.

"Nat, where are you going to go?" He sits up, his ocean eyes looking at her with so much concern that her stomach clenches painfully. "I know that you're safer here than you've been wherever the hell you've been hiding out before." He shakes his head and brushes the strands of hair from her eyes. "I've got you now. You're safe here. I'm not gonna let you go again."

A tear slides down her cheek at his words, green eyes glassy and full of pain. "I... I can't stay, Steve." She tries to pull away from her again, but he holds her close and cups the back of her head with one hand and rubs the pad of his thumb against her cheek. "I... I can't!" She pulls away and begins to gather her clothes, which he made sure to put in the dryer after she fell asleep, and grabs the knife she'd hidden against her thigh from the counter. "I'm sorry."

"Nat, wait!" He grabs her wrist just as she's about to open the door. "Stay, please." His eyes are full of compassion for her, which she doesn't understand. She doesn't deserve his kindness or compassion or hospitality.

"I can't," she whispers, her voice cracks. She pulls on her jacket and opens the door.

"Fine," Steve says and Natasha withers away from his look. "Let's go."

She blinks back her shock when he grabs his jacket from the rack and pulls the umbrella from the stand. "What are you doing?"

"Coming with you," he shrugs. He grabs her hand and pulls her to him, despite her protests. "We're in this together, Nat." He smiles at her. "I told you that back in DC, but it still applies now." He smiles down at her as he opens the door. "Either we both stay here or we go wherever you've been staying."

"Fine." She glowers at him, but his smile is infections. She rolls her eyes and smacks his chest, earning a chuckle from the soldier.

Her eyes widen in surprise as he uses her hand to reel her in a plant a deep kiss on her lips. She buckles in his hold, clinging to his muscular arms, her nails digging into his skin. A whimper crawls up her throat and spills from her lips as he pulls her closer, cradling her head in one hand, hair slipping between his fingers like silk, as his other hand holds her hip.
With his kiss, he brings the comfort of last night. He brings the comfort that she's never had before. He brings summer to melt the cold of her icy Russian heart and the ocean of his eyes reaches up to kiss the edge of the jungle that is her eyes.

With his kiss, she feels all of the comfort of home.


This chapter took me all day to write, but I wanted to finish it before I go to sleep. So, this takes place 6 months after the graveyard scene of CATWS. Okay, Jealous kiss won the poll, but I needed to set up the scene for that kiss to happen. Sorry if you wanted the Jealous kiss this chapter, but the next chapter will be the Jealous kiss. Just to let you know, Natasha stays with Steve (like lives with him) but they are not together. They've obviously kissed a few times.

Please don't forget to review and tell me what you thought of the chapter. I'm putting up the poll but it won't be for the next chapter but for the chapter after the Jealous kiss.

Hope you liked it!


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