There will be some sibling time with Steve and a few flashbacks from the past in this chapter. This is a very long original chapter, but this is because this will be the only one before the movie is written in.

I re-read my prologue and a thought came to me – that is probably the best prologue I've ever written honestly. I'm so proud of myself every time I read it [and I can't seem to stop reading it], it's amazing..haha.. Anyway, enough about me … here we are with the official first chapter…

Avengers: The Age of Ultron | Saviours | The Beginning
Many months had gone by yet so much has happened. Bucky and Steve were able to finally find Ava; or Winter as she wanted to be called. Neither of them, including Winter knew how to act around each other – she was the splitting image of someone they had thought died 75 years ago, it hurt to see her and know their true Ava was still not back in their lives.

Winter had gone through many changes since that day at the Smithsonian museum, she had immediately traveled to find answers after the first breakthrough with her memories. But every time she found a new trail with hydra, she came up with a dead end. It didn't help either when every day she kept getting new memories stuffed into her brain from the past life. At this point in time; she was neither the Winter Soldier nor Avery Rogers 'Ava'. She was someone different, someone she couldn't even really explain to herself. She had the memories of her current persona, The Winter Soldier. But there were also the remnants of Avery Roger's life pushing into her – this other person's life was making her feel things she never remembers feeling or thinking.

Unable to ask or accept help, which was something she as a well-trained soldier would never do – she allowed the two American heroes a chance a finding her, to see if they were true to her newly found memories as being loyal and loving towards this Avery Rogers.

And they came and answered.

Winter had stood upon the old, abandoned railway tracks of the place Avery Rogers had been taken away from the world. There was meaning to this; as she waited for their arrival.
She started to fully remember what happened to her … to Avery. She would never speak the words out loud, but she needed help and those two seemed to be the only ones who could.
She remembered more quickly in their presence last time – maybe it will this time too? Inside she knew being alone wasn't a good idea anyway, and she was starting to get that.

There must be side effects to the machine that deleted her memories, because ever since that last wipe, memories that were slowly coming back and they were starting to hurt. They were painful, sometimes excruciating. At one point, she actually felt scared. And this something entirely new for Winter; she was taught and trained to NEVER feel emotions, and many had come up during the past couple of months, but never … fear. At soon as that emotion touched, every fear Avery Rogers had before her elimination came rushing back in the form of a heartache. It was like she had finally longed to see the two American heroes to make her feel better, and this was something she hated herself for feeling.

And now, she stood in a small glass-windowed room, looking out to the city of New York. A 'Tony Stark' had been kind enough to offer her a place in his tower, her room (with a bathroom of her own) was in between the two American hero's rooms. They had obviously been too busy to look for a place of their own during the time she was being tracked down – but she couldn't help but feel safe within these walls, this was yet another thing that had started to slip into her in the form of a feeling.

Her hair was naturally straightened, a gloss from her darkened hair shining against the warming sun. Her skin was a little more tanned than last time after her travelling mission, small black bags under her eyes were starting to show – she really wasn't getting enough sleep these days. Nightmares kept her awake. Her style of clothing hadn't changed much; she wore black skinny pants pretty much all the time, they were the only things that felt comfortable (and they were the only things she had actually tried on lately), she had on a pair of combat boots, a cream looking sweater with a white tank top underneath. This was literally all she would wear day to day now unless a mission had come up. The sweater was to keep people from looking at the metal arm attached to her body, she didn't like people staring.

Winter didn't really know what her role was when it came to the Avengers missions; sure, they wanted her to come along and find this sceptre or something they were looking for. But do they trust her? Not really. Do they like her? She didn't know. Now, was she an Avenger herself? That she couldn't tell you either, because she really didn't know what her role was in this place. She couldn't even give them much on Hydra themselves even after living with them for the past 75 years.

There was a wall of guilt and shame built in her mind, everything she had done since her birth 75 years ago. The Winter Soldier was a stone-cold killer and all the lives she had taken from that day weighed on her heavily, her soul's been darkened and destroyed. It's a wonder as to why these Avengers hadn't gotten rid of her for the terrible crimes she had committed over that vast time period.

She crossed her arms against her chest but still gazed down below; people were walking around with their amazingly normal lives ahead of them, no one worrying about anything other than what their futures might consist of. Her fingers slowly lifted to just below her neck where a chain was hanging from, her hand grabbed gently onto the small object hanging on it – a ring. This had been the memorial object she had stolen from that dark-haired super-soldier, once she had saved him from drowning. She never was able to get many more memories out of this piece of jewelry, she only remembered the day that sh-Ava had received it. She was able to remember that event pretty clearly more than the others which felt slightly odd.

A knock sounded at the door making her jump out of the thinking space she had been in. The chain dropped from her fingers, falling back down her sweater – hidden.

She glanced towards the door, "Who is it?" She questioned, not moving from her spot.

"It's me." The familiar voice of Steve Rogers called through the closed door. "Can I come in?" He asked, sounding nervous in his tone.

"Okay."

The door opened and Steve's head poked through for a moment before his body followed. He closed the door behind him. Winter had seen a lot of Steve recently, she's seen Barnes too but not as often, he seemed to be avoiding her a little. She had an inkling that the reason had to be because she wasn't what he was expecting to find. Both the American Heroes were probably hoping she had regained a lot of her memories back by now, at least started going by Avery Rogers from now on, along with acting like the woman.

"Why are you here?" Winter wondered bluntly, her brows furrowing in confusion – she turned towards him fully with crossed arms and a tilted head. She watched as the Captain's
shoulders slumped shortly at her tone, he was probably thinking she'd be happier to see him.
From the part of the memories that have Avery in them, that's how she would react – happy and curious. But right now, she just seemed confused.

"Um," Steve began, crossing his own arms with a sigh, "I was wondering if you wanted to go out for a bit?" He asked, "Get out of the building," His shoulders shrugged with a thoughtful look, "Maybe get a hot dog?"

Winter frowned, looking a little interested. "Where would we go?"

Steve shrugged, "I could show you around a bit, I haven't explored much myself since I woke up so I figured – why don't we do it together." He knew Ava loved to explore and do new things. Maybe if he started to interact with Winter this way, he'll be able to find his twin in there somewhere a little faster.

Winter thought for a moment, it did sound like fun. Whenever there had been a mission, she was never allowed to stray from it – Hydra were very strict when it came to the completion of missions. Besides, it's not like she had anything better to do than look out a window and act all depressive with these mind-boggling memories being stuffed into her head. "Alright." She nodded, accepting his invitation. A thought came to mind, "What about Barnes?" She asked, wondering if he would be coming along – a part of her felt a spark of hope crawl inside her, it's like she couldn't help it.

Steve sighed, shaking his head. "Nah," He said, "He's helping Natasha and Barton train."
Winter made sure not to change her mood and posture in front of him, because if she did, she would have looked a little unhappy about where Bucky was. "Right," She played it off, "Are we going now then?"

"Sure." Steve looked happy when she accepted and even though she didn't try to show it, he did see a small change in her demeanor when he mentioned what Bucky was doing right now. Maybe his sister was starting to come back?

…

"What is this place?" Winter wondered as they walked around a large lake with trees trailing around the edges. There were dozens of people walking about through this park; a part of her hurt when she watched a man and woman holding hands, laughing to each other with happy smiles on their faces.

Steve shoved his hands inside his pants pockets, "It's called Central Park." He told her. The two of them had walked here on foot from the tower, neither wanting to be inside a small car – he would have used his newly reformed motorcycle but he didn't think Av-Winter would feel comfortable. He understood her hesitation to trust them and feel again; she had been through a lot since she had supposedly died. Even if Bucky hadn't seemed to grasp it yet; there was still a long way to go until their Ava was returning to them. She may not, and this would have to be something they'd have to live with if or when the time came.

They stopped by a wooden bench, Winter took a seat – just staring out into the water with a blank but thoughtful face. Her hands were held together between her knees, her head tilted as her gaze wandered. This place felt weird for Winter – she had seen places like this before, but none seemed to make her feel like this. She felt calm and at peace here, the water in front of her was clear – little children were trying to chase the ducks waddling near the water and dogs were hurdling after tennis balls. This place, if felt … pure. Like nothing could destroy what it had to offer the next person.

"It's nice, huh?" Steve questioned, taking his hands out, sitting himself beside her comfortably. He bent over a little so his elbows touched his knees. He looked over to her, "It kind of makes you forget all the things happening in the world."

Winter nodded, "Yes, it does seem like that doesn't it?" She said, leaning back.

There was a moment of silence as Steve just looked to the woman who wore his sister's body. As far as he could tell from the last week of having found her, only a small portion of his sister had been drawn out since the last fight she had with Bucky. From the moment they found her, she had made sure to tell them who she was to be called. Winter. It hurt to know that she didn't want to be called Ava or Avery, but she wasn't ready for that and he could live with that, for now. She wasn't exactly acting like his sister anyway. Mostly he just wanted his twin back, the one he could always count on – the one who completed him, they were like two pees in a pod. He just wanted her to come back after all this time having been deceased through history.

There was one thing though; both he and Bucky had made sure not to pressure her with questions because of this. They had wanted to know more on what she was currently remembering and what had actually happened to her, really. Not just what had been written in a folder filled with a bunch of paper. He could barely read all of what was in there, everything was so … he honestly didn't have a word for it. If everything that was written down, was true – it was surprising his sister, or Winter in this case – how was she not in a traumatic catatonic state? But even the files didn't contain everything, it was still pretty vague on a lot of the details.

Coming to Central Park right now was part of his plan, he wanted to ask what really happened after all these years – to ask if there was any chance of his sister returning to him – to ask if Bucky was ever going to get his fiancé back.

"Ask." Winter spoke bluntly, not looking towards him – she slowly closed her eyes, enjoying the small breeze flushing against her face. She saw right through him; maybe it was this Avery part of her feeling it or it could have just been because of her training, she really didn't know.

Steve was a little surprised at first but then realised what she meant. That was another thing he had noticed from her; she had Ava's ability to know what other people were thinking. She did it to him all the time, they had always called in a twin instinct, not that it was ever really proved though.

He couldn't help but ask the one thing that had been on his mind ever since he had found out from Bucky about her actually being alive. "How?" He asked, not realising how vague he was being. It just popped out.

Winter's eyes opened, her mouth forming a confused frown. "Excuse me?" She questioned, finally turning to him. What was that supposed to mean?

"How did you survive?" He said with more detail, "You fell out of a train! Hundreds of feet in the air from a mountain!" His sister falling out of that train was still a vivid memory in his brain, it flashed in his mind once more to remind him of the horror that broke his heart.

"Ava!" Steve and Bucky's broken voices screamed after her tumbling body – they watched as it disappeared, too far to see from the moving train they were in.

"I-" Winter opened her mouth but her mouth went dry, there was only so little she could remember about that time. Bu the event he was talking about was pretty clear in her head, the memory had been one of the first to pound her head in with – it was what happened before and after she didn't have a good grasp on things. "I remember falling, you and Barnes were there … then everything went dark." She started, her mind trying to muggle around all the visions she had been having lately. "There was a small man with an odd looking face and rounded glasses, I think his name was Zego, Zolo or something?"

"Dr. Zola." Steve asked, his brows furrowing with concern. A bubble of hatred for the man bubbled under his skin, that name hadn't been in the file – his fists clenched.

The name was recognisable. "Yes." Winter nodded, turning to him. "He did things to her … me," She corrected herself, she had to get used to the fact that this Avery Rogers was her – that these memories were actually her own.

"You will be our greatest weapon, Miss Avery." Dr. Zola smirked, "You will serve Hydra to the best of your ability's when we are done with your reconstruction."

"He said I would be his greatest weapon – Hydra's greatest weapon once he was done with me, until the reconstruction had been completed." Her look began distant, "I didn't even realise what he meant until I looked at my arm…" She unconsciously touched her metal unmoving arm through the sweater with her human hand. "…it was like it had been ripped off, I guess I must have caught something when I fell out of that train. "

Steve swallowed hard at what she was telling him, but one thing still bothered him more, "But, how were you able to survive?" No normal human would have been able to survive that fall, even with the most amount of luck someone could even get.

Winter tried to think back, "I think…" She began, "It must have been back when I was taken before then. I-I can't remember when though." She explained but her vision went dark with pictures, a throbbing pain lingering in her frontal lobe.

The room was dark, only small lanterns were lit – the room's walls were made of old bricks – it looked like some kind of secret basement for experiments. On a small table, in the middle of the room was a long dark-haired woman lying on it, she wore a dirty white tank top and American army-style pants. Her skin was layered with sweat, she seemed to be mumbling incoherently to herself. Her arms were tied to the table, there were no markings of any sort covered on her body that showed.

Suddenly, two men burst into the room wearing soldier uniforms. It was Captain and Lieutenant America.

Bucky looked around the room, wondering why Dr. Zola had been in here – running away with a briefcase full of papers. It wasn't until he saw the woman when his eyes widened, "Ava!" He exclaimed, running the woman's side almost instantly with fear imbedded into his gut.

"Avery!" Steve's eyes widened as well, seeing his twin lying on the table strapped down. She didn't react to either of their voices at first, she seemed to be too entranced by what was going on in that head of hers – her eyes were drooping, she was under the influence of several drugs in her system by the looks of it. And this was what scared the two boys the most, she never reacted well too many of the current day's drugs.

Bucky reached forwards, grasping her cheeks gently, "Avery." He said to her, trying to sound comforting but her lack of reality understanding was really worrying him – fear was evident in both their faces. "Ava, it's me. It's Bucky and Steve."

The two names seemed to spark a reaction out of her, "Steve … James…?" She mumbled, giving a small giggle in her words. It only took another moment before she started to return back to normal, whatever it was inside of her must be starting to disappear.

Steve let out a breath of relief, "Oh, thank god!" He murmured, proceeding to take off the restraints from her body. Bucky helped her sit up before hugging her with a tight hold, helping her stand on her feet – she nearly fell but he was able to catch her before she did. "We thought you were gone; that they killed you!" His voice cracked. Both men felt tears of relief catching in the corner of their eyes.

Ava shook her head, trying to get her mind straightened out. But when she looked up, she had to make a double take. She blinked once, then twice – in fact she had to blink about ten times to finally realise what she was seeing in front of her. "Steve?" She questioned with a slight draining wobble to her voice, her head tilted with confusion. She also had to question if her sanity had left her during her hold with Hydra. "I swear you were half my size … how'd you get so big?." Her brother was now the same height as her and honesty, she found it a little creepy…

Winter groaned, holding her head in her hands, a bold grimace formed on her lips. "Ava?!" The worried tone of Steve fluttered in her ear, his hands on both her shoulders – he must be kneeling in front of her now. "Avery!"

"Stop calling me that!" She growled back at him, feeling irritated from the pain in her head but also at the fact that he had called her someone she wasn't – she shook off his hands – flinching back as far as she could get, looking up at him with narrowed eyes. "I've already told you, it's Winter!" She forgot all about trying to be this Avery person again; the frustration was bubbling too much over the surface.

Steve couldn't help but flinch at the tone in her voice, it was one his sister was never capable of speaking – she had been too soft and defiant for a normal person. When he and Bucky found her on that mountain, Winter really had told him what she wanted to be called.

Winter stood at the edge of the mountain top, right next to the abandoned rail tracks. The cold wind blew through her hair, her arms were crossed as she waited for the two American heroes to find her.

"Ava?!" The voice of James Buchanan Barnes shouted, making her glance over her shoulder towards the voice. And then she saw them, they stood together in their hero uniforms – their shields tied to their backs.

"Avery…" Steve breathed beside Bucky. He was really seeing her; his twin sister really was alive – she was standing right there in front of him. It all felt real now … Ava was alive! He trusted Bucky and had always believed him to be telling the truth, and even with all the information Natasha was able to get for them about this Winter Soldier. None of it really felt real until now. His sister had survived like they had, just not in an iceberg that melted several years ago.

"That's not me." Was the first thing that came out of her mouth with a blunt tone. She stared at them, turning her body around so she was now facing them full-on. "Avery Rogers died 75 years ago." She continued, "I'm just her shell with a couple of memories – I'm Winter … not her." Winter couldn't help but feel like her words didn't mean much – that some of them were actually a lie … she felt guilty for saying this but it was the only way to ensure they wouldn't push her into speaking about these memories she's beginning to remember.

Winter cracked her neck to the side, leaning back again with a dulled enough brain. "I'd like to go back to my room now if you don't mind." With that she stood without waiting for an answer, walking away leaving Steve kneeling by the bench – looking forlorn and saddened about what had just happened.

…

Winter had practically stormed through the streets on the way back to the tower – she was sure a few people had been knocked over by her shoulder and she didn't care. She had to shove her hands into her pockets to hide the metal arm she had attached to her. The sweater did a lot to cover up but gloves were out of the question, unless they were fingerless ones and even then they wouldn't cover up the metal looking fingers – she just didn't care for them at all.

Now, she found herself in the training gym a few floors up – it was something Tony had put in when he found himself housing a bunch of superheroes. Winter was ignoring everything around her, just focusing on the large punching bag in front of her, punch after punch smacked against the object – it's force was so hard that small minuscule cracks began to form on the ceiling from where it hung.

The training room itself was pretty big; there was a small kitchen over to the side for snacks and water. There was pretty much a whole gym here, times two!

"Oooh." A voice sounded from behind Winter with amusement, "Someone's a pissed off little soldier." Winter gritted her teeth, not liking herself being a solider either – without even realising it, she smashed the bag too hard and it flung across the room – successfully making a large dent in the wall as it crashed into the plaster board – the bag fell with a thump to the floor. The poor thing was probably glad no more abuse was going to happen to it, well, not right now at least.

"What do you want, Stark?!" Winter countered back with clenched fists, not moving from her spot – just gazing at the bag with narrowed eyes. It still amazed her as to how much strength she held within this body of hers – it wasn't normal, but then, she would never be normal, would she?

Tony was leaning against the doorway, his arms folded with the usual cocky smile plastered on his face. He gave her a shrug. "Just simply seeing what kind of damage your causing to my home." He replied, not at all worried about the crack in the ceiling – the now broken punching bag or the large dent in the wall. "Besides, I wanna know what's making you so cranky. You looked fine when you went out with Popsicle no. 1."

Winter sighed, rolling her eyes at the name, "It's Steve." She felt her fists starting to unclench slowly, he was starting to take her mind away from her frightening thoughts.

"Whatever…" He waved her off, walking over to the breakfast counter – hopping up to sit on one of the high chairs. He picked a blueberry out of the bowl of fruits sitting in the middle before plopping it into his mouth. "So, what's up little Rogers?"

Winter took in a deep breathe in an attempt to keep in her twitching nerves, "It's Winter." She repeated, feeling like she's had to repeat it more than a hundred times. If she had stayed away, maybe she wouldn't be in this mess.

Tony scoffed, "Sure." His tone not believing it. "Whether you like it or not, you're the littlest Rogers in the family."

She huffed at that without even stopping herself, "Actually Steve's the youngest by not even a min-" She stopped this time, realising what she was saying. To the side, Tony grinned with accomplishment when he caught her.

"Ha!" He exclaimed, pointing a finger over to her. "Gotcha!" He threw another berry in to his mouth, chomping away at it with that grin still attached to his face. "You are little Miss Rogers after all!" He rolled his eyes, "And here I thought you were some kind of doppelganger here to twist the two pee brains of Steve and Barnes."

Winter groaned with annoyance, she ran her fingers through her hair – one either side of her head – her fingers squeezed at her the roots before releasing with aggravation. Why was this man even here? He was the most irritating being on this planet right now! "Shut up." She begged loudly, not wanting to get into this right now. "Just, please … shut up!" That was two first for her as The Winter Soldier – begging and saying 'please', that she knew of anyway.
Even some of her Winter Soldier memories were scattered and gone for some reason.

This time he did stop to watch how she ignored the broken punching bag, making herself sitting against the wall – she tipped her head back till it hit the wall behind her. Winter closed her eyes, trying to make herself look blank like she had done so many times while being The Winter Soldier.

Tony frowned with interest, "Why are you so intent on ignoring who you really are?" He questioned, getting her to open her eyes and turn to him with a tired look.

Winter took a moment before blinking at the question, "Maybe because who I really am … isn't someone anyone knows yet, not even me." She replied, all the anger and frustration just seemed to drain out of her – she couldn't even be bothered to try and fight anymore. At least for now, she was done trying – no one was ever going to get it; and really, some part of her still didn't get it either.

Tony didn't seem to understand, "You're Avery Rogers." He told her, like it was the most obvious answer in the world. "The Cap believes it – your lover boy believes it. Hell, everyone in this building believes it!" He paused himself, "Why don't you?"

"No." She stopped him, "I believe it." She told him, looking serious for her own statement – if felt weird talking to him, it hadn't been long ago that she had been silent for pretty much the entire time. In the past, she would have never spoken out like this – let alone feel something deeper and more pronounced to go along with it. "It's just that…" She paused, trying to think of a way how he'll believe it. She sighed, "…For the past 75 years," She began again, knowing what to say now. "I've been the Winter Soldier with only several set missions to accomplish with my life – I was an emotionless, homicidal bitch if you want to be literal. And then, all of a sudden – I'm ripped away from everything I've ever know – being forced to remember things I've never even dreamed or felt before." Her metal hand gripped tightly around her human wrist and if she didn't have this extra not-normal strength, she'd had a hefty bruise in the morning. "I'm being forced to remember a past life – remembering a person who technically died when I was born, so to speak."

Tony interrupted her, confused. "Shouldn't you be happy about that though? Finding out Hydra were liars? That you actually had a family and loved ones missing you? Hydra were using you to kill innocent people weren't they?!" His father flashed through his mind; he didn't know or want to know whether she had been the one who killed his father but he couldn't help but remember it. Ever since Steve had told him about Hydra being possibly involved in a cover-up to kill his father; he still couldn't help but think about it every now and then when he looked at this woman.

"Somewhat." She admitted, some of the people she had killed were good – but most were also bad. The soldier part of her thought it was to fight a war that needed to be fought – the good fight. But this was the guilt and shame she'd have to live with every day now that she had all these feelings and thoughts riddling in this body of hers. "But that's not the point I'm trying to make." She said, "What I'm saying is – how can I be Avery Rogers when I've been The Winter Soldier for nearly a century and when I was her, all I did was kill and manipulate.
And then, how can I be The Winter Soldier when I feel all this human crap blinding me. Avery Rogers was a strong but sweet girl, she looked after the ones closest to her, even the strangers on the street. She had a goal to make a difference in the world and the soldier destroyed that the moment Hydra gave the first mission. The Winter soldier was supposed to be a hatred-riddled soldier with nothing but a mission to look forward to. Now…" She shook her head, shrugging, "I'm a shell with a broken head. I may call myself Winter but…" She paused again, "…really, I'm not even her either. I'm neither of them – I just simply don't exist anymore." It hurt to know she had no place to really go; this was all she knew and had left in the world.

Tony seemed to understand because he nodded his head, he really had been listening closely. It made sense what she was saying; he just didn't know if the boys would understand like he did or anyone else would. By the way she was talking; it sounded like the Avery Rogers they knew and loved would never be coming back – and that was something he didn't know whether the two could survive even looking at her everyday with.

"It's not their fault though." He said to her after a moment, talking about the two American heroes.

Winter frowned in a confused manner, "What's not their fault?" Who were 'they'? Because there were several of them bouncing in her head right now.

"Steve and Bucky." He replied. "Steve just wants his sister back and Bucky wants that girl he fell in love with back in the day, well, back in his arms anyway. It's not their fault you can't decide who you want to be and it's not like you've actually explained anything to them like you did for me." He shrugged, "As far as I can see it, you're not only causing yourself pain but to them also. You need to really think about who you want to be before something really does get broken – and by broken, I mean something that can't even be fixed." He glanced to the damages in the room before grabbing another handful of berries, standing up from the stool and stretching out his limbs a bit. He started walking over to the door, nibbling on a berry.
"And if you want my advice – I would decide what you want sooner rather than later." He gave her one last cocky grin and a wiggle to his eyebrows before leaving the room, needing to call the interior decorator who built the gym room in the first place.

Winter just watched him walk out … her mind reeling. Did, Tony Stark? Just offer really good advice? She didn't know him really, at all even – but hearing from the whispers of those Avengers and other people who actually work in the building, all he was is a cocky know-it-all millionaire with too much money for his own playful good.

But all she could think as he walked out was … 'Who did I really want to be?'

Note: 12 hour warehouse day again … *sighs tiredly* Now I should get to sleep cause I have another tomorrow…

On another note, I hoped you guys liked the Tony and Steve interaction with Winter/Ava, please let me know what you think! Lisa… [Follow, Fav, Review would be appreciated so much]

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