Just Note: I will be moving the beginning events around a little bit, bare with me but it will continue on from the movie starting from this chapter. I will also give you a warning, you’ll experience a different Ava to the one who broke down at the end of the last chapter. This chapter will feature her letting out various negative emotions, and it’ll go a bit far.

Warning - a swear word!

Avengers: The Age of Ultron | Saviours | A Rippling Effect

“What’s the word on Strucker?” Steve asked Agent Hill, seeing the brunette with a tight bun against her neck. Even after the fall of Shield, the woman began to work for Tony as a side-contact. She may not be a full Shield agent anymore, but she could still gather information within a flash much like Tony with his computers - except she had dozens of contacts across the globe who knew Fury and aligned with him all the way. This gave her a plus in the type of business she provided.

The two of them were currently further down the hallway, Ava had told him she needed some space for a moment. She wanted to be alone, he could understand that to some degree - he really could only imagine what’s going on in that head of her’s right now. His heart lurched with worry, thinking that one wrong turn could lead down a dangerous path for her, and could even make the memories fade again.

“NATO’s got him.” She assured him, these people were the best at getting information out of prisoners - and the best at keeping them contained until further notice.

“And the two enhanced?” He questioned, holding out his hand for the tablet located in the woman’s hands. He knew she had found information on the two already, maybe the answers could have been on the information Tony had managed to gather from Strucker’s computers, back in Sovakia.

Hill passed over the tablet, but before she could get a word in another voiced behind them sounded. “The young girl with long, darkened red hair, her name is Wanda Maximoff.” The Agent and Captain spun around, slightly surprised by the new voice entering into the conversation. Leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, and now with clothing that consisted of the stuff Steve had left her to the side. A pair of black jeans and a flimsy, thin jumper that successfully hides the metal arm out of sight. Ava had pulled her hair up into a loose bun, obviously not caring about her looks - but then again, she never really did both as The Winter Soldier or as Avery Rogers. “The boy with dark hair, that’s Pietro. The two of them are twins.”

Agent Hill narrowed her eyes with suspicion, a common trait amongst spies like her. “And how do you know this.” This woman may be Captain America’s sister and Lieutenant America’s lover, but Hill didn’t know enough about this new person standing in front of her. Was this the killer machine, Winter Soldier? Or was this the protective, self-sacrificing woman history has come to love?

Ava didn’t look unnerved by the Agent, finding the suspicion completely understandable at the time. “Not only did I meet them both on countless occasions … but I was the one who originally recruited them.”

Steve couldn’t help but lift his eyebrows in shock, “What?” Not being able to believe his own ears for a moment.

The sister swallowed hard, she knew it was going to be hard to come clean about nearly everything she had done ever since her ‘death’, and recruiting children wasn’t even a tenth of the crimes she’s committed. “The Winter Soldier had orders.” She simply said, before going in a little deeper. “Hydra wanted new people to ... experiment on, to make them like me but not emotionless, just individuals with a massive amount of anger for one specific thing. And these two had it - and obviously, Strucker’s experiments worked.”

Hill’s face started to link into anger, “You mean, you knew all along that these types of experiments were going on to innocents and you never said a word or did anything?!” Feeling hate crawl up in her stomach, she really didn’t like this girl anymore than she did before.

Ava finally started to narrow her own eyes, this time with a furiousness built up inside. Her fists clenched, the nerve of wanting to punch the Agent started to drift in her consciousness, but she internally tried to stop herself. The Winter Soldier wanted to kill her. “I was wiped clean remember.” She said in a deadly voice, it was calm but anyone who could really tell an emotion would know this woman was about to pounce. “Every time they realised i started gaining my memories back, i was cast back into a blank slate with nothing but the knowledge of a feared soldier.”

Steve was just staring at his sister, he had never seen her react this way - all he could figure is that the deadly soldier was starting to peel through the gaps like she had done to Winter only days ago. He could see so much building up inside of her, just by looking in her eyes. He saw hate, pain, anger, loss and so many more negative emotions he never wanted to see in her eyes ever since they were kids. He wished she had never had to go through what she did, because everything that was done during her time ‘dead’ it’s taken a toll on her, it’s stripping her even more of who she was.

“Not everything about me is in that little black book of yours, Agent Hill. You have no comprehension of the things that i’ve done or the things that were done to me in the process.” Ava caught a glimpse of Hill twitching towards her gun, and she chuckled darkly, “Oh, Agent.” Shaking her head in mock disappointment, “If I were going to kill you - your head would be clean off before you even pull that gun out.” And with that, she turned on her heels and walked away leaving a surprisingly shaken spy and a brother who just didn’t know what to think anymore.

...

THUD. THUD. THUD.

Ava continuously hammered her fists against the punching bag, ignoring everything around her - only one thing floated around in her head, the anger and hatred built up in her system. She didn’t want it inside of her, it felt like a plague - a disease she just couldn't get rid of. There was just so much of it, it took so much to stop herself from killing Agent Hill back in that hallway - that was the soldier part of her slipping past a barrier she was starting to create.

Instead of The Winter Soldier slowly letting the original owner of the body making it’s way back. What’s happening - it was the complete opposite in many ways. Ava was now trying to block the heartless killer from coming back; she wanted to be herself again, the one who would give up her own life for her brother and fiance - the one who’d smartly make a great plan, the one who everyone could count on. But that wasn’t her anymore, and even with her memories back from both lives she’s lived, she still couldn’t figure out who she really was. Yes, logically speaking Avery Rogers was the owner of this body - it’s who she truly was. But what about the killer in her? That’s also a being, a bad one, but still someone who shared this small body of hers - the one who's done the most damage through their living lives.

Maybe the killer was the one she was fated to be forever, maybe Avery Rogers doesn't actually exist anymore? Avery Roger’s never would have killed innocent people, she would have never trained children to become weapons of destruction and she would never in her own damn mind give over to the evil no matter what the cost. Avery Rogers would have rather died than become a monster, someone everyone would fear in the future.

“Avery?” A voice said behind her, it was low and hesitant but there was a glimmer of hope mixed in above all. Ava’s stature immediately halted at the voice, knowing all too well whose it was. James. Ava’s fist was mere inches away from the punching bag when her body stilled, his voice filling the room was a shock. James had been badly hurt, but he sounded like normal already. That Dr. Cho must really be the best in her field.

Avery didn’t turn to him, she just stared at the punching back with a tense and distant look. “You should be in bed.” She told him blankly, trying to put up a clear face so the buried guilt and shame wouldn’t rise up and eat her alive.

Bucky looked a little hurt when she didn’t turn to him, that she wasn’t speaking the way she used to when he would enter the room. Steve had told him about her memories, that they were now back - all of them. “So should you.” He tried to lighten up the mood, not fully understanding the cold shoulder she was giving him. But still, she stayed silent. “Avery, please … look at me.” He pleaded, all he could see was her back.

And still, she didn’t move so he bravely took a step forwards. “You have your memories back-” He thought this would be a good thing, the best thing that’s happened to them in a long time … especially for her. “-why are you acting like this?” She didn’t look relieved at all, and everything he could really determine right now is nothingness from what’s he’s seen in the last minute.
Speaking with Steve earlier, he said she showed an anger and sarcasticness neither of them had witnessed in their lives. Neither of them were understanding her right now.

That hit a nerve. “And how is it that i should be acting, James?!” She finally snapped, her fist collided with the punching bag again - even this made Bucky jump a little, frowning with concern but also worry - like Steve, he had never seen a side much like this to their Avery. She finally turned to him, her brows fiercely pulled together, almost mirroring back in the hallway with Agent Hill and Steve. She waved her arms up with her shoulders shrugging at the same time, water began to brim against the whites of her eyes. “Should i be happy? Grateful?” She began to bitterly list, “Should i be jumping for fucking joy?” Her voice cracked, never once had Avery used a swear word.

Bucky stayed silent. Listening.

“Well, i can’t!” She yelled, pissed off. “I’m a mess! A monster!”

At that, Bucky immediately started to shake his head in complete protest, “You are not a monster.” He stated in a definite tone.

Ava started breathing heavily, her mouth watering with saltiness every time a tear threatens to drop. “Oh, really?” She tilted her head in a sarcastic way, staring at him with a fake look of interest. “And how can you be so sure of that, James?” She demanded, her voice was thickening again. “You don’t even know me … not anymore.” Her hand went to her neck where the chain still was, with the ring she had stolen from Bucky after saving him from drowning, just after the fall of Shield and Hydra.

James started to shake his head, not understanding where this was going. “What are you saying?” He had a bad feeling in his stomach, one that knew something would crush him at any moment.

Ava ripped the chain off her neck. “The Winter Soldier was right about one thing.” She said, opening her palm towards herself - James still couldn't see what she was holding. “The real Avery Rogers, the one everyone loved and lost.” She paused, biting her tongue to keep in her overdriven emotions. She took a deep breath before confessing. “She’s dead.”

“No.” He shook his head with objection, “You have your memories back-”

“But it wasn’t just those memories, James.” Avery stopped him, looking him in the eye this time, clutching the ring back in her hand. “I have so many more and none of them are good. They’re haunting me and i’m just not ready to deal with anything else right now.”

James still wasn’t understanding what was going on, not until Ava took a step forwards, taking his hand before placing something small and warm in his palm. He looked down with confusion, but something that felt like a spike pierced his heart. The ring. The engagement ring he gave to Avery when he proposed. The one he thought was lost back when he couldn’t save her the first time. “I don’t deserve you and you shouldn’t wait for me.” She said, almost too softly to hear and her voice was filled with longing and loss. Her own heart was starting to break, wanting so badly to stop and take her words back - but she couldn’t, she cared about her two boys too much.

“No…” He almost gasped, his voice breathing out in despair - now he understood. His own tears were starting to spring up now, he couldn’t believe this was happening - he couldn't understand and he couldn't even comprehend how he was even standing right now. Was he having a nightmare?

A tear finally made it’s way down Ava’s cheek, and she swallowed hard again, stepping away from James. “It’s for the best.” She assured him, but it felt like she was also trying to assure herself. That thisis what’s best. That being apart from whatever relationship they used to have was best, and it was. But that’s what she thought, not what she really believed deep down.
At hearing that, James was shaking his head, his eyes now hard. “No way.” He said, emotion pouring into his words. “Us being apart will never the best thing, and it never will be.” He moved forwards to grasp her arm when she pulled away, but in surprise, her metal arm tightly gripped his arm before throwing him into the wall, holding him up a few feet from the ground - she now had him pinned by his neck, suspended from the ground. Bucky’s eyes were widened with surprise and he couldn’t help but let a little fear sneak in, but not for himself - but for his love. He couldn’t help but wince as well, even though his body was repaired like Barton’s, the area when the injury occurred was still sore.

“I could very easily snap your neck without a second thought.” She said honestly and this time she made sure to bottle up the tears - not letting even one drop. Ava knew that she’d never let herself kill James or Steve though, she'd rather kill herself first. She wanted him to be safe from her, away from everything haunting her soul and crushing everything she had inside that was still good. She leant closer to his ear with a whisper, “I’m a monster … I’m not your lover anymore, James. Let go.” With that, she dropped him. And much like she did in the hallway, she walked out without another word.

Avery left Bucky breathing hard on the floor, trying to gain his breath back. All he could think was - one of his nightmares had come true. They were no longer engaged, she no longer wanted to be with him. But even though she said all those hurtful things towards him and herself, he knew his Avery was still in there - he could feel it, he believed it. Avery was doing what she felt was right, protecting him. But he didn’t need protecting … she did. And he wasn’t going to give up on her or them, not even for one second. He would make sure Ava could see the light again, the best in this world - he’ll help her to heal from the damages done from the past. He’ll have his fiance back, and soon he’ll finally have Avery Rogers as his wife, his destiny and his fate.

With that soulful promise - he clutched the engagement ring with promise driven in his veins.

Just to be clear on something, i am technically on a whole fanfiction hiatus until nxt Feb. I just had a bit of time where i could actually get this done for you guys, i may get more chances but it’ll be rare, especially as my last month (until college) ends.

Anyway, please let me know what you think!
Review, Fav, Follow!

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