Someone to Have

Natasha followed Steve out of S.H.I.E.L.D’s main building. “Are you really considering this? You said you've done the monkey thing. Why do it again?”


Steve had to think about his answer. The truth was, he didn't know why he was considering it. Part of him wanted to believe that the soldier in him was trying to follow orders, but he knew that wasn't why. Was he just bored in his everyday life and wanted something to do? Maybe.


“I respect Fury. He wouldn't ask us to do something like this if he didn't think it would do some good.” Steve continued down the long walkway outside. Natasha let out a deep breath. She had a feeling Steve was going to agree to this, which meant she’d have to go along with it as well.


Natasha jogged a bit to catch up with him. “Can't you break your perfect persona just once? Live a little. Be the bad boy,” she laughed. Steve stopped, his usual stern, stoic look set into his face. “It was a joke, Rogers.” But still he didn't laugh. He continued to his car with Natasha still behind him.


It was a beautiful day. Sunny and warm with a nice breeze to keep cool. At the park across the way, children were playing, dogs were chasing, and couples sat with each other. Steve felt the pang of loneliness shoot through him. Why now? Why after so many years -decade upon decade- of being alone was it now seeming to come bubbling to the surface? He could only think of one reason.


Her.


His heart jumped when he thought about her. Even more when he unlocked his car and got the book he recently finished reading from inside. Natasha looked at the book in his hand as he shut his car door.


“To Kill a Mockingbird? Are you in high school?”


“No, I was frozen when most of the great American novels were published. I’ve taken the time to get caught up.”


“You never really struck me as the reading type.”


“I don't care too much for television. The radio doesn't hold the same entertainment value as it once did. Books….Books never change.” Natasha felt a small stab at her heart. Even though Steve had been unfrozen for a few years now, he still had a hard time with the 70 year evolution he missed out on. She understood why he liked to read. Books stayed the same. Something written a hundred years ago would read just the same today. They were frozen in time. Just like him.


“Where are you going?” She followed him as he began to the street.


“The library.”


“The library?”


He held up the book. “To return this and to check out another.”


“Oh.” She walked with him as he crossed the street, the library being on the other side. “They have tablets now, this device where you can download books onto it. You can have an entire library right in the palm of your hands, ready when you need it. Cuts down on the back and forth.”


“I like the library. It’s one of the very few things that has remained the same.” She heard the sadness, felt another pang.


As they reached the doors Natasha noticed the softness came to him again. Not as much as before, but it was there. He also seemed nervous; his tongue swiping over his bottom lip as he held the door open for her.


A soft silence fell over them upon entering the building. It was warmly lit, a very cozy feel to it. It was a two story library, and there wasn't one place you could look and not see books. Steve seemed to know exactly where he was going. He made a beeline towards the stairs, constantly scanning the room as he went as if he was looking for someone.


“They keep the older books on the second floor,” he told Natasha as they climbed the grand wooden stairs.


“Hmm,” she acknowledged.


He led her to the far side of the second floor, to the third row of shelves. His brow creased in the center as he scanned the shelf with precision. He knew what he was looking for.


“Ah,” he gently slid the paperback from its spot.


Natasha looked at the book. “For Whom the Bell Tolls. You know, Metallica has a song titled that.” Steve quirked up an eyebrow. “It’s a song. By a band. A really famous band. I’m surprised you haven't-”


“I’ve heard of Metallica,” he cut her off. “This is one of my favorite books.” He decided to keep the fact that A Farewell to Arms was his favorite to himself.


“A Hemingway man. I can see that about you.”


“Did you want to check out anything?” He didn't want the subject to be about him anymore.


“Nope, just came here to keep you company.”


“Nothing to better to do, huh?” He poked at her with a smile.


“Friends do things together.” His smiled deepened at her words. Yes, he could definitely call Natasha one of his very few friends. They started towards the stairs again to get to the checkout desk. “Maybe next time I’ll take you to a record store, show you some good music.”


“I’ve got a list of music I’ve been recommended.” He could feel the small leather bound book he kept in his back pocket, something he could jot a quick note or reminder on. He had a few pages of music, movies, shows, past world events, and many pop culture stories he had to catch up on.


“Bring the list. I’ll tell you what’s worth listening to on it. I’m so sorry!” Natasha grabbed onto the person she had bumped into. Being in the library with Steve had her relaxed, not focused on her surroundings like usual.


“It’s okay, I wasn't paying attention.” The sound of the warm voice had Steve’s insides twisting.


Her.


“Oh, Steve. Hi.” The woman noticed Steve after straightening herself up from her bump with Natasha.


“Samantha, hi.” Natasha immediately heard the nervousness in his voice. With one look at his face she knew this was the woman he had been talking about.


The laugh that passed through her lips was as warm as her voice. “How many times have I told you this; it’s Sami.”


“I know,” he smiled. “But Samantha is such a beautiful name.” Natasha almost wanted to pat him on the back for how smooth he was….And then he ruined it.


“Not that Sami isn't a beautiful name as well, I just think Samantha is more mature. Not that being called Sami makes you immature or a child, because you’re a woman. Definitely a woman.” The brunette stared at him while he fumbled over his words, a look of sympathy on her face. Natasha had to put him out of his misery.


“Hi, I’m Natasha,” she stuck her hand out for the woman to shake. Steve took a step back and let out a long defeated breath. “I work with Steve.”


“Nice to meet you, Natasha. Are you guys on a lunch break?” Natasha was a little taken back by her question. Did she not know who they were or what they did? As odd as it was that she and Steve seemed so normal to Sami, she liked it. She didn't like when people made a big deal of who she was now that The Avengers were so public.


“No,” Natasha answered for Steve since she was sure he was still recuperating. “Returning a book and checking out a new one.”


“I can check you guys out up here if you’d like. Then you won't have to wait in the long line downstairs.”


“That would be great, thank you.”


“Sure, right over here.”


Sami turned and started walking, Steve took a step to follow but Natasha grabbed his arm. “What the hell was that, Rogers? Is that how you normally talk to her?”


“Not every time,” his cheeks began turning red.


“Oh my God.”


They followed behind her, not wanting to be rude. Natasha looked at the woman from behind. Tall with long, dark brown hair. Pale skin and womanly curves. Natasha cast a look at Steve. His eyes were focused. She followed his line of vision and almost choked when she realized he was staring at her backside.


Wholesome and proper Steve, staring at the librarian's ass.


When Sami went around the desk and her bottom half was no longer in view, Steve quickly averted his attention up. Natasha had to hold back the laugh. With a warm smile Sami held her hand out, silently asking for the book.


“Another Hemingway,” she said fondly. So she paid attention to him and his likes, a good sign. “Is he your favorite author?”


“I suppose. I do seem to favor his novels.” Sami gave him a smile and hoped he would say more. She bit at her bottom lip in anticipation. She was nervous too. When she realized that he wasn't going to continue she gave a nod, almost to clear her own thoughts, and went back to checking out the book.


Natasha realized she was going to have to help Steve with this. With subtly, she nudged his arm with hers. Steve gave her a scowl, not knowing what Natasha was doing. He quickly figured it out when Natasha mouthed “talk to her”. His cheeks warmed but he tried to push that away.


“Who’s your favorite author?” He wanted to kick himself. He didn't know what to say.


“I don't think I really have one in particular. I have a favorite genre, it’s the one I mostly stay in.”


Natasha kicked his foot when he didn't pick up the cue to ask the question. “Which is that?”


“Oh, cheesy, romance novels. I’m a hopeless romantic.” He chuckled at the way she rolled her eyes at herself. With a scan of the barcode and a few clicks on the keyboard, the book was checked out. She slid the book across the desk to him. “All checke dout. Is there anything else I can help you with?”


It was a general statement but Natasha wouldn't be surprised if Sami had forgotten she was standing there. Hell, she wouldn't be surprised if Steve had forgotten about her.


“That will do it,” he picked up the book. He looked back up, his throat constricting as he thought about trying to say more. He didn't know what it was about her, but it was like his brain went to mush when she was around. It’s not like he couldn't talk to women, it was just her. “Uh, well thanks.”


Steve turned and hurried off. Natasha looked at Sami, her smile falling as he retreated. “You’re welcome,” her voice was much smaller. “Have a nice day.” She mustered as much of a smile as she could for Natasha, who returned it with sympathy. Natasha couldn't wait until they were out of the quiet building.


He was going to talk whether he liked it or not.

Notes