Blurred Bloodlines

Bucky was floating in nothingness.

He didn't have to worry about hurting anyone, about hurting Steve. He was calm and peaceful at last. Then warmth spread through his limbs slowly. It was like a hand grabbing a hold of his conciousness and ripping it upwards and out of its frozen cage.

When Bucky opened his eyes, he had panicked momentarily. Flashes of that facility in Siberia rushed through his mind. The pain and anger and terror as those damned words tore what little humanity he had apart and pieced him back together a monster.

A dog to do their bidding.

Then Steve was there, his voice keeping him grounded to the here and now like an anchor in a storm.

His eyes finally focused and he was back.

He was in Wakanda.

He groaned as Steve helped him to the cot that had been placed nearby. He laid back and sighed deeply before scanning the room and finding a few familiar faces at the door.

Sam gave a quick wave.

"Steve?"

"Hey buddy."

His own voice echoed in his mind.

'I can't trust my own mind, Steve. I think the best thing is for me to go back under. At least until they can find a way to fix me.'

His body thrummed with anticipation and hope filled his eyes as he looked up at his friend.

"Why did you wake me up? Did you get it fixed?"

Steve's eyes fell.

"Not yet, Buck."

Horror caused him to stiffen in Steve's arms.

'Not yet?'

He was still a ticking time bomb then, all it would take is for the trigger to be pulled and he would explode, hurting more people.

"But why?"

Something shifted in his friend and when he looked closely at him, he noticed Steve was shaking with emotion.

"We need to talk Buck."

His heart plummeted to his stomach and all he could think of was, 'What now?'

His eyes fell to the floor dejectedly.

"What did I do now?"

Steve shook his head.

"Nothing. Its what was done to you that we want to talk about. What do you remember?"

Bucky tapped a finger to his temple.

"This is all a big mess in here, Steve. I can only remember in snippets of words and sensations. And they're not good ones either."

"Are there any good ones?"

Bucky stilled and slowly turned to look his friend in the eye.

"What are you talking about?"

Cap shifted from foot to foot before holding up a disk.

"Natasha found some files on you, well, on the Winter Soldier."

"I don't want to see it."

Steve opened his mouth but was cut off by Bucky.

"No, I already have enough nightmares to last me two lifetimes, Steve. I don't want to add to them."

"You have a daughter."

Bucky's eyes widened and his face drained of all color. He had a daughter? But how, when?

"W-what?"

Steve nodded.

"But...how?"

His friend held up the disk.

"There is a video file on here that shows her birth."

"Put it in."
Steve paused and looked at his friend with a discerning eye.

"Are you sure? It doesn't end well, Buck."

A rough, low voice growled at him.

"PUT IT IN."

A computer screen lowered from the ceiling and Bucky steeled himself.

'It doesn't end well, Buck.'

What happened to her?

Steve handed the remote to him and place a hand on his shoulder.

"When you're ready, bud."

He took a deep breathe, raised the remote and pressed play.

That lab he knew well enough. They twisted and beat him into the Winter Soldier in that lab.

His fist clenched around the remote so hard it cracked.

When he saw the woman's face a twinge of familiarity hit him.

'I know her, but from where?'

He saw himself as the Winter Soldier comfort the young woman, heard himself utter the words, 'Ot sebya.'

'Push.'

Then the tiny cries of a baby filled the air, filled his ears and his chest ached at the sound of his daughter.

His daughter.

Then everything went to hell.

He could only watch in mute horror as his former self relapsed and uttered a single name.

'Rebecca.'

His eyes filled with tears.

'Get her! Kill him...kill him and save your daughter, our daughter! No! don't comply, you damn idiot! Fight them! Fight it!'

He yelled in his head as he watched himself kneel down like a good dog.

'YA budu podchinyat'sya.'

Then Strucker walked out the door with her.

'Rebecca.'

The remote in his hand shattered at the same time his heart did.

Notes