My Cuts Don't Bleed

The dormitory came alive on Saturday nights as the initiates indulged in the kinds of debauchery that could only be found within the walls of a Shield training facility. Eliza jammed her headphones into her ears in a sad attempt to drown out the sounds of her peers puking their potential down the drains.

She didn’t hear the first knock. She heard the second but thought someone tripped and fell against her door. The third knock was unmistakable but she ignored it. The fourth knock demanded to be acknowledged. “Fuck off!” she screamed.

But Xander would not fuck off. Instead he rattled the knob and continued to pound on the door. Logic dictated that he could not possibly get to her in his state of intoxication and both locks bolted, but she couldn’t deny the fear that swelled in her belly. Reality trumps logic, and in her reality – in that place where she trained tirelessly to become an agent of Shield– Xander was more than capable of entering the room.

A phone was on the nightstand by her bed. She was mere inches away from a cry for help, but the thought never crossed her mind. No, she was the only female accepted into the combat training program and she refused to show the men who doubted her any signs of weakness. If Xander and his band of jackasses were to break through the door, she would fight like a soldier.
I’m faster than him. I’m smarter than him. I’m more sober than him… She repeated in her mind four times before he kicked the door in.

He stood in the doorway and glared at her. She didn’t even toss the covers off or sit up in her bed. One glimpse at him and she knew he was moments away from passing out. He had already been in one fight that evening. He had a black eye and a swollen lip. His t-shirt was stretched and torn and his hair was a tangled mess.

“Go home Xander. You’re drunk,” she mumbled and rolled over so her back was to him. He was at her bedside in two seconds and had her throat in his hands in three. A quick knee to the groin and she was free from his grip, but he wasn’t ready to throw in the towel.

“I got in a fight for you,” he slurred as he pinned her hands above her head. “Oh, did you?” she rolled her eyes and let him straddle her in the bed. He will pass out before he even explains what he’s talking about, she coached herself. Yeah, this would look bad to administration in the morning – a busted door and a beat up, unconscious boy in her bed – but she knew it was best to avoid beating the shit out of Xander unless she absolutely had to.

He brought his face inches to hers. “They called you a slut,” he whispered. His eyes were bloodshot and his words all slurred together. A wave of dizziness overcame him and he collapsed on top of her. She tried to push him off but he was too heavy. His band of jackasses howled from the other side of the room.

“Is it true that they discovered three new STDs during your medical examination?” one of them asked and they all fell to the ground in laughter.

Fuck the wise choice. Eliza had heard enough.

She dug her thumbs in Xander’s collarbone and pushed him up. “There’s my girl…” he growled. His eyes were a new shade of crimson. He didn’t break into her room to impress her with how he took a few blows for her reputation. He came for something physical. But he wasn’t going to get it.

His head crashed against the nightstand when she threw him to the floor. The phone disconnected from the wall – so much for a cry for help. But she didn’t need to cry out. Now she had his arms pinned to the ground as she hovered over him. His friends weren’t laughing anymore.

“I am a slut,” she said and slammed her fist into his chest. He groaned and gasped for air, barely maintaining consciousness, but he had enough energy to crash his skull against hers. The head-butt was his specialty move, but she had a few tricks up her own sleeve.

She stood up and quickly slammed all of her weight onto him. Before he could move she grabbed his wrists and him dragged towards the door. She pulled slowly. She had the quickest reflexes out of the class of initiates, but she was not the strongest. She often went to bed cursing her muscles because they could not keep up with the boys no matter many hours she spent in the weight room. Her petite frame did not help her cause and she struggled to drag Xander. At least he made it easy for her by blacking out as soon as she started tugging.

Whistles pierced the halls before she got his limp body out of the room. Inebriated initiates fled through the corridors in a mad panic to escape to their own rooms. Eliza knew the administrators were rushing to the scene of this crime but she kept dragging. Beads of sweat rolled from her brow and her head ached from the impact of the blow of his skull. One of his friends caught on to her plan and helped her push him through the doorway.

The administrators turned the corner as soon as she dropped his hands. She spun on her heel and looked them each straight in the eye. She despised the night patrol almost as much as they despised her.

“What are you children doing?” Brock said with a cocked eyebrow. Brock – Xander’s older cousin. His wingman, his personal trainer, his ticket into Shield. Of course he would be the first responder.

“He passed out in my room. I’m taking him back to his own bed,” she said after a deep breath. She wanted so desperately to tell Brock what Xander had done. About how he had been harassing her for weeks and tried to attack her on that night, but Brock already knew.

“Miss Lilly, have you been drinking?” a patrolman behind Brock stepped forward and shined a light in her face. She shook her head and offered the man her palm. Without hesitation he whipped out his scanner and moved it across her skin. The screen immediately flashed 0.
Brock pushed her aside and kneeled on the ground before Xander. He didn’t check for consciousness, or nudge him, or say a word before smacking him across the face. He jolted up and quickly came to.

“Did you do that?” Brock asked and nodded towards the broken door.

“Uhh, I uh…” Xander didn’t know what to say. Should he lie? Or should he tell the truth? After all, it was Brock leading the patrol. Brock would be the one filing the incident report and it didn’t matter what Xander said, Brock would never get him into trouble.

“I locked myself out of my room,” Eliza spoke up for him. Her words were shaky and she felt like a fool, but she carried on. “I went to the cafeteria to watch the game and I realized that I left my key behind. I asked Xander to help me…” she didn’t know where she was going with this, but the pleading look in the eyes of his friend who helped her get him out of her room begged her to go on, “I remember when we learned how to kick doors in at precamp. Xander was so much better at it than me, and I was scared I would hurt myself, so I asked him to do it for me.”
She knew Brock wasn’t buying it, but the rest of the patrol seemed convinced. “It was an accident, I’m sorry,” she sighed.

“Xander, is that what happened?” Brock stared into his eyes and spoke to him beyond his clouded, drunk judgement. “Yeah, that’s what happened,” he said and struggled against Brock as he slowly stood up.

“You’re all a bunch of animals,” Brock looked straight at Eliza. She wanted to punch him in the face, or scream, or cry, but she kept her composure. “Let’s get you to a medic,” he said to Xander and slung his shoulder around him for support.

She turned to go back to her room, but Brock wouldn’t allow for that to happen. “Miss Lilly,” the way he said her name sounded like venom dripping from his mouth, “you’re coming with us.”
Eliza didn’t say a word as she followed the patrol through the dormitory. She could feel the stares of other initiates follow her all the way to the exit. Her peers weren’t all training for combat. She wasn’t the only girl living in those quarters. She was one of 13 young people picked to train as a Rat, a Registration Act Tactical Specialist. The other initiates were training to be doctors, or engineers, or programmers, or administrators.

She didn’t interact with her peers much. Outside of the Rats she only knew the names and aspirations of a handful of other initiates, but they all knew her. They knew who she was, where she came from, and what she had done before she got on Nick Fury’s radar. Eliza was infamous.

It was a long walk to the medical ward, and Xander blacked out twice before they arrived. The clock on the wall in the waiting room said 1:04 am. Eliza was overcome with anxiety. The Rats were supposed to report to the ropes course at 9:00 am sharp. Steve Rogers sent the order less than two hours before Xander invaded Eliza. The Captain did not accept tardiness, and he definitely would not have been happy to have a hungover, bruised participant navigating through the course.

That’s why he came… Eliza finally had a moment to put the pieces together as they waited for the medical attendant. Xander knew that Eliza could pull him out of his state of intoxication. He knew that she could erase the evidence of his prior fight and restore his body to pristine condition in time to impress the Captain. She could do it all without any medicine, and she could do it in twenty minutes.

“Miss Lilly? The doctor will see you now,” a medical initiate called for her. She was more surprised than the patrolmen and Xander combined. Why would the doctor need to see her? And why would he call her before attending to Xander? Eliza wasn’t drunk. She wasn’t even injured.

The examination room was small, definitely a tight squeeze for her and the two tall, strong men who waited for her inside. The anxiety in her chest turned to panic.

“Eliza,” Steve asked when the attendant closed the door behind her, “what happened?”
She didn’t have time to make a plan. She didn’t have to time to analyze the situation and figure out the most efficient way out. She was standing before Captain America himself and Dr. Bruce Banner, and for the first time since she arrived at SHIELD she didn’t feel the urge to lie.
She knew that someday Xander would be exposed for all the awful things he is, but like she told herself in the dormitory in front of Brock, this would not be the night.

Dr. Banner stood in front of her and crouched down so that his face was level with hers, “Tell us what happened down there,” he ordered.

“I locked myself out of my room,” once Eliza delivered the first line the rest of the lie was easy, “I knew Xander was drunk and he would break the door down, so I asked him to do it.” Now she could change her story from what she confessed to Brock. Now she had to make it more believable because these were Avengers she was lying to… they wouldn’t buy the damsel in distress story she told Brock. They had seen her kick a door in and walk away without a scratch.

“When you sent the message about going through the ropes I got excited. I wanted to finish first,” she said to Steve. She told the truth. That would be the only truth in her confession. “But I knew I would be tired and would fall behind Xander, so I locked myself out on purpose. I found him in the cafeteria and I flirted with him,” she didn’t have to feign her disgust, “so that I could convince him to kick my door in. I didn’t mean for him to get in trouble, I only wanted to make him weaker so that I could beat him in the ropes.”

If Eliza thought she wanted to cry when Brock called her an animal, she really had to focus on keeping herself together in front of Steve and Dr. Banner. The other initiates were intimidated by the Avengers. They tried to act like they weren’t scared shitless by them but it was obvious. The only thing Eliza had to pretend around them was that her ex-boyfriend didn’t just try to assault her. The Avengers, Steve especially, made her feel safe – made her feel like someone in Shield actually gave a damn about her.

Steve and Dr. Banner watched her for a moment and waited for her to say more, but she had nothing left to say. She lost this battle. It didn’t matter much if Xander said anything to contradict her. He was too drunk to even sit up straight.

Eliza saw Steve break his stare and quickly glimpse at a handheld machine on the counter. She had never seen one but knew exactly what it was: a lie detector. Steve could press it against her forehead and read her brainwaves to determine if she was being truthful. Her stomach dropped when he took a long breath before speaking again.

“Eliza,” he stepped closer to her and Dr. Banner backed away, “ if someone is trying to hurt you, you need to tell us.”

That was Dr. Banner’s cue to exit. He left Steve and Eliza in the room by themselves.
“Yes Captain,” Eliza said with false confidence. Her energy was draining and she wanted to run from the medical bay, but Steve wasn’t letting her go so easily. He kept his stare on her. “I know what it looks like, but it’s not like that. I swear,” she desperately tried to defend her lie.
She knew that Steve didn’t believe her. He knew she was keeping something from him, but he didn’t press the matter.

“Get some sleep. I will see you at 9:00 am. Don’t be late,” he said as he moved towards the door.

“Yes sir,” she said and exited the room.

She could see Xander laying on a cot in the sick bay. Brock and the rest of the patrol were gone. She would have to walk through the halls by herself and sleep alone behind a door that did not lock.

She was beginning to regret lying to the Captain.

Notes

You might recognize this story from one I posted on this site a while ago, the first few chapters are pretty much the same with changes in character names but they're both my stories.