The silver's tears

He felt a hand shaking him gently and someone calling his name , he opened his eyes to see Thor smiling at him “Wake up lazy, didn’t you have enough sleep” Loki yawned lazily and sat in the bed “Come on go and take a shower till I get you some clothes you sweat a lot do you feel sick” Thor said touching his forehead "oh god you are burning , you caught cold” *It’s just temperature Thor it will drop to normal after the shower* Loki signed walking to the bathroom feeling a little dizzy “No, I’ll seek Bruce for some medicine” Thor said leaving the room, Loki just raised his shoulder in boredom Loki took shower in a complete hour ignoring Thor’s yelling, he clearly was enjoying the cold water “Finally” Thor cried on seeing him getting out wrapping himself with towel and drying his hair with another “wear this and open the door when you are finished” Thor said handling him the clothes and left the room again He took a look at them and smiled thanking his mother that she didn’t leave it to Thor to pick up what he would wear Then he left the room finding Thor waiting him outside “Are you ready your highness” Thor said agitated and Loki grinned at him waving at him to lead the way “Now you realise my importance huh?” Thor smirked entering the kitchen when he fell on his face “Ugh, you will pay for it” Thor whined looking at Clint who was stepping on his cape giggling “Good morning to you too , what Thor did you miss the floor that much” Tony smirked “Someone is feeling bored a little earlier I think” he said cleaning his clothes Clint sat on the chair yawning raising his shoulder “Didn’t mean it, i barely can see in front of me, don’t listen to Nat if she told you she wants to practice three in the morning, ever” he whined “Good, I’ll tell her you loved it and want to practice tonight again” Thor smirked “Behave boys “Steve smirked “He started it...” “Thor drink this and shut up, gosh how you bear him” Tony said chuckling handling Thor his coffee but Loki took it from him and left “What about breakfast? “Steve asked “He doesn’t ....sometimes I think he just eats so he wouldn’t die starving” Thor said taking another cup “Well, this doesn’t work with me” Steve said following him
“Watch out, mama Steve is serious when it comes to breakfast” Tony said laughing “What is going on here ?”Bruce asked “Three words: Loki, Steve, breakfast” “I brought you what you asked but you don’t look sick” Bruce said giving him the medicine “It’s for loki not me, his temperature was high when he wake up” he said looking at the door waiting to see Steve will be able to make him join them in the breakfast “Oh, how was your night? You slept in his room right?” “Long night, lot of bad dreams but slept well for a while” “That’s good” “But there something worries me” “What?” “he has these times when he can’t take his breath and this cold sweat like all his clothes is covered with it” “Apparently it is cold a strong one too, but i prefer to check on him to make sure it won’t turn to fever” “He doesn’t wanna eat with us you think he would let you do this?” Tony scoffed “And he is behind you” Clint giggled Loki signed something to thor and headed to his room , then Steve came in looking around “What did you tell him?” Tony asked “Where is he? I looked everywhere” “well, he was here seconds before you, and uhm, where is his books ? He is getting bored and when he gets bored don’t need to say” “well, this our chance isn’t it” Tony yelled “Stark, what do you have in your mind?” Steve asked “every book in exchange of something , you want him to eat and you to check on him, well if he wants his books he has to do what you ask him to” “You shut up, you go get him his books , you go check on your brother and I’ll make him some pancakes “ Steve said firmly When thor opened the door he found him sitting on the ground leaning to the bed “What happened ?” Thor said helping him get back to the bed *I don’t know I felt dizzy after I finished this drink, what was it?* Loki was trying to stop his hands trembling “Just coffee I swear, maybe you are just sick, wait I’ll call Bruce and you don’t have the right to refuse understand?” Loki just nodded tiredly closing his eyes Thor rushed back to the room and grabbed Bruce from his hand “Come, you check on him now and no one ever offers him coffee again” Thor yelled then he stopped to take his breath “Can you just calm down and explain what the hell are you talking about?” Tony yelled back at him “ Act first ask question later” he said grabbing Bruce “can someone bring me my bag please” Bruce shouted “You all will drive me crazy I swear of god “ Steve exclaimed going to get Bruce what he asked Tony and Clint just stood there trying to figure what just happened “The girls “ Tony suggested “Yeah, good idea” Clint said quietly “Yes, Pepper “ Tony shouted leaving the room His heart beats was racing insanely like it’s tearing apart “Are you sure it was just a coffee whatever this drink ?” The voice hissed “Thor will never try to poison me, if that what you think” “Are you sure? Cause what you see every night say another thing” Loki trembled nervously from remembering what he saw, but it’s just nightmares right? “Or very bad memories” “No....it can’t be...the truth” Loki thought falling on his knees, his eyes fixed on the door crying silently feeling hurt, feeling....betrayed When the door was opened , it wasn’t Thor who came in, it was Natasha she noticed his trembling, he looked sick “Are you okay? You look...terrible” she said walking towards him Loki smiled bitterly and tried to get back on his feet, it wasn’t easy as he thought with this terrible dizziness “let me” she said offering him her hand , Loki hesitated for moments then he took it leaning on her getting to bed “Bruce will be here any minute with your brother” she said listening to the footsteps approaching and Bruce’s voice
On hearing this Loki started to move nervously looking away “What? You don’t look at least relieved?” she asked rising an eyebrow “You’re here! Good i was worried of leaving him like that” Thor said taking his breath “How is he?” Bruce asked Natasha raised her shoulder saying “Don’t know but someone is in trouble” she smirked looking at Thor “Me! Why?” he cried “Can I do my job please” Bruce said firmly standing in front of Loki “I’ll just check on your temperature okay” he said quietly Loki pushed him away jerking back "Loki , what is wrong with you ? He was just trying to help” Thor shouted “It’s okay Thor I should’ve expected this, he looks upset of something” “This don’t give him the right to be this rude” Thor said agitating *You knew I’d take the cup from you I always did this “yeah I know, so what?” *So it won’t be difficult to get rid of me * he signed looking hurt “Get rid of you” Thor repeated it out in disbelief “You think it was poisoned” Thor said in shock “After all I’ve done you think I do something horrible like this” his voice started to broke Bruce and Natasha looked to each other in shock , he lost his mind they were sure *He said this to me* “Oh, so now you believe him? Thor scoffed *What about what see every time I close my eyes?* he stopped trying to take his breath and hiding his trembling *What you did to me , it was always you* tears started to gather in his eyes “That is his game don’t you see? I know what you dream of, cause I saw it too, do you think it’s easy for me to dream about me hurting you ? Is it easy for me to know every time you woke up afraid is because what you saw me doing to you ....your problem is you think you are the only one who suffers” Thor turned his back to them hiding his tears , why he had to be so blind, can’t he see how much it hurts him, he will always be the one who breaks his heart “Oops my bad, I don’t know you would be that naïve” The voice said in amusement laughing “What did i do?” Loki gasped in disbelief regretting what he said , he sat on the bed crying, nothing he can say can make things good, he would understand if Thor left him now, he stood there silently he know how angry his brother must be right now, he wanted to go to him to say that he is sorry but he can’t find courage nor power to do this, even in his weakest shape he managed to hurt his brother He was so dispirit just to call his name to tell him he is sorry that he doesn’t deserve a brother like him , he is everything good in his life yet he hurts him the most “S...sorry” Loki finally said biting his lips from pain, Thor didn’t believe what he just heard “You...talked” he cried holding his shoulders , Loki hugged him crying “S..sorry, forgive me...please” he said gasping in tears “silly child you will always be” Thor said holding him calming his nervously shacking body “Thank god, now you listen carefully” Bruce said pointing at Loki who looked very ashamed of what he did “Coffee for us not even slightly harmful but in your case it could be dangerous, poisonous as you said for a good reason you are already sick with high blood pressure and huge increase in your heart beating rate making hulk’s rates a child play comparing to yours” *Hypertension, this explains this terrible headache* “Signing again!?” Bruce wondered “He said hypertension? And says it explains the headache “ Thor translated to them forgetting that they understand it “Clever boy but can you tell us why you don’t speak we just heard you” “Give me something to write on * “Do you have a pen and some papers “ Thor said and Bruce handled him his note Loki started to write at once and Thor was reading it quietly to himself but with raised eyebrows and his exclaiming just made them more curious “Is this even possible” Thor yelled waiting for Bruce to finish reading to explain “So to be clear if i understand it or not, you say that you think of something and when you try to express it in words you forget how, yet you can explain it different ways like signing and writing but not enough as I can see , like something is blocking your ability to express like what happens to your memory you remember everything but in the same time you don’t remember anything” “At least you can try to talk” Thor said sadly *No, it’s painful* he shaked his head then touched his lips nervously “Why you do this?” Thor asked worried Loki stared at him not knowing doing what exactly “Your lips why you touch it, like you making sure there is nothing there” Thor said in a shaky voice Loki's face became paler and his breath became heavier, frozen in his place seeing it all happening again “why you remember such horrible thing or maybe” Thor gasped in horror saying “ He made you live it again please say it wasn’t me who did it” Thor said pleading Loki can feel the pile moving upward to his throat he was going to throw up, he ran to the bathroom “What’s wrong?” Bruce asked quickly “Nothing, but I think he won’t tell me anything if you are here, this sort of private” Thor said wearily “Of course just call us if you need anything” Bruce said leaving the room and Natasha followed him silently Thor went to Loki who finished throwing up leaning to the wall looking miserable , he helped him cleaning himself and brought him some clean clothes to wear, it was Thor’s so it looked big on him give you the feeling of a kid wearing his father’s clothes
Thor didn’t say a word about it, he knew what he saw and how hard it is to remember it again He sat on the bed and loki sleeping next to him with his head on his lab and Thor started to stroke his hair singing him an old asgardian song their mother used to sing to them to sleep He looked at his brother's face and saw this scared child whom he failed to protect once when they were kids, he remembered when they got lost in the forest in a strange realm far away from their parents and their home, how they were kidnapped by some of his father’s enemies and how they threatened to torture the royal kids if he didn’t do what they said and when father refused to obey , he remembered how they found it good idea to sew their lips shut starting with the younger one They failed and father rescued them but it was too late, Loki wasn’t the same again, he remembered how many times he woke up from Loki’s screams and cry , the same nightmare every night, how he just stopped talking despite all mother disparate tries to get him out of this but in vain, how his mother was angry accusing father that his foolish pride is the reason of their son’s suffering , how he had to learn the sign language like our healer suggested a language she said was found to help people who can’t talk to communicate, how he had to spend a whole year on alfahiem treating from this, it was their life darkest days that he was grateful it has ended but it seems like it started again now, he closed his eyes hoping all of this will end soon. Back in the main room Steve was waiting for them and was surprised when only Bruce and Natasha came in “Where are they?” “Loki is not feeling well I think he went asleep again and Thor is staying with him as usual” Bruce said crushing on the sofa “Seeing this Loki and remembering the one we fought months ago like there is two of them” Natasha said “sometimes I think it’s good for him not to remember anything, without memory suffering from severe anxiety and stress imagine how may it be if he remembered” “Anxiety huh? Like in trembling hands, heavy breath and all of that?” Tony asked joining them “Yes I’m afraid” “Boy, déjà vu for me then “ he smirked bitterly “Well you have a saviour by your side” Steve said to pepper who blushed giggling “He has Thor too” Tony said “You think?! With this voice poisoning his thoughts it will be difficult for him to trust” Bruce said “Yep, we saw an example earlier , honestly I don’t know how Thor managed to remain calm after what he said , all I was thinking of is punching him in the face” “That is the advantage of being the big brother you had to handle all this kind of madness , I used to have a fool brother now he becomes fool and paranoiac” Thor said crushing next to Bruce “How is he?” “ Slept at last” he sighed “What if he woke up?” Pepper asked “I know, I just come to beware you of saying anything about what happened in front of him again” “You mean us, me and Natasha, but a simple explanation won’t be a problem” “You once asked me how we know this language , well, lets just say one day the king’s enemies who found kidnapping his children was a good idea make him surrender and when he refused they threatened of hurting them starting with the younger one” “Did they hurt him?” Pepper asked covering her mouth in fear “No, but on hearing what they were going to do with him and seeing this terrifying men grabbing him violently tying him up was enough” “It gave him a nervous shock?” Bruce asked “If this mean coming back empty so yes, I felt like he was a stranger, someone else, someone looks like this one exactly” “How old was he then?” Clint asked “Seven I think” “Oh, I’ll be in his room you need rest” Clint said leaving quickly “What was that?” Tony asked surprised “That, Clint seeing how much he and Loki are alike” Natasha said “And how is that?” Thor asked “Clint had an accident when he was a child caused him to lose his hearing for some time” “You mean the accident helost his parents on?” Tony asked “Yes, how did you know that?” she asked him suspiciously “Tony Stark my dear” he said quietly, not a good time for jokes “But I really don’t want to leave him alone, he may get it wrong” Thor said thinking about Loki’s react , childishly sure it’ll be “But he need to see other faces, to learn to socialise to fit in, he can’t stay all the time avoiding us” Steve said “Don’t worry, we just need you to step aside for a while not leaving him “ Tony said “Look at you all “ pepper said excited” Few months ago none of you was ready to accept the other, now all I see is a real family not by blood but by what’s more stronger love and caring for each other” “Strange how what seemed to be the end was a new beginning” Steve said smiling

Notes