The silver's tears

He couldn’t sleep as the feeling that something bad is going to happen or already happened grow with every minute passes, he asked Jarvis about him almost every ten minutes getting the same answer every time... He is asleep and that he is okay...But this feeling won’t let him believe that,at last he decided to go to his room and stay with him either he likes it or not.
Phil entered the room without bother knocking first leaving it open allowing small ray of light guiding his way inside, he reached out his hand till found the light switch, won’t turn on all the lights of course, he wasn’t that rude, just small light so he can see Loki.
Just one look at him and he was sure that he made the right decision, Loki was mumbling some words that he didn’t understand as it came out muffled, his body was trembling a little and sweating heavily, but what made him horrified was the blood started pouring from his mouth, Phil froze not knowing what to do, watching him become paler and the restless movements just stopped.
Phil did the only thing Fury warned him of...he called one of his team members almost begging her to leave everything and come to stark tower at once
When she arrived she was excited, she was standing in front of stark tower AKA avenger's tower , a chance to meet her hero at last Dr Bruce , oh how much she begged Coulson to introduce her to the doctor , Coulson always answer with just his sweet smile and not saying anything however she wasn’t eager that her first visit to be like that, he almost cried at her to come this only means a big trouble and from the point he only asked her help that means a medical one, someone is hurt...badly
She was shocked by how her boss looked with blood on his clothes and the terrified look on his face, she gulped nervously following him not listening to a single word of what he said
“Simmons”
“uh, yes”
“focus for god sake” he cried “I only called you because I trust you not to tell anyone about this or the person you’re going to take care of alright, not even Fitz understood”
“Yes sir, can you please tell me now what’s going on and whose blood is this” Simmons said almost freaked out
He just pointed at her to follow him to a room where there was a man sleeping or that what she thought first till she noticed the blood around him, she walked towards him carefully wondering where did she see this face before , when it hit her she jerked back gasping “Loki?”
“Just help him” Phil pleaded
Despite her shock she started to check him quickly , taking mind notes, she started to clean him from the blood, examining his eyes reaction to the light, taking his blood pressure, then she opened her bag and started to prepare a drug inserting it into syringe then she injected him with it when blood start to fill his mouth again
“help me make him sit quickly” she shouted worried and Phil nearly crushed beside them lifting loki up , she started to pat on his back gently to prevent him chocking on his own blood, this last over thirty minutes till he calmed down and this weird seizures seemed to come to an end
‘What did you give him? And why it took so long to work?” Phil said out of his breath
“Nothing, just some sedative, see this?” She pointed at the little tool she used to check on him “ Fitz, made it, the scanner checked his body for injury or any organ failure may cause this but it find none”
“So what the hell caused this? I only left him for an hour or two at most!” He said tiredly feeling regret of leaving him alone
“Well it’s not physical that’s for sure so it may be psychological “
“Can a very bad nightmare cause it?” he asked suspiciously
“Yes, I think so”
“Well, I’m definitely dead” he whined
“For the love of god can you tell me why are you babysitting Loki?” she exclaimed
Phil continued like he didn’t hear her “If Fury knew I called you here, he will kill me, no one is supposed to know about Loki presence here, and Thor, oh my god” he cried imagining what would Thor do to him
“Excuse me, isn’t he the bad guy her or am I mistaken?” she snarled
“uhm, that’s classified, thank you Simmons , you go back now before someone notices your absence” he said walking her out of the room
“But...”
“And don’t tell anyone about that understand , that’s an order”
“Coulson, you seriously think you can call me anytime like this then kick me out” she said agitated
“well, yes my dear, and I’m not kicking you out, your mission is finished, simple” he said grinning
“You owe me a big one” she said before she vanished in the elevator, Phil sighed going back to Loki but first he has to inform Fury , he took a deep breath “He won’t be glad with this at all” and he was right...
“you did what?” Phil thought he was going to jump on him from the screen strangling him
“I had to, we were going to lose him if it wasn’t for Simmons “
“Fine, but if any one heard about Loki oh you don’t want to know what i will do to you then”
“Uhm, yes sir no one I promise”
“and you pissed him off what the hell ? You have been there only for some damn hours , we don’t want any problems with Asgard Coulson, he still a prince after all”
“What did I do? He doesn’t wanna me near him” Phil whined
“Coulson, even Stark managed to gain his friendship even it was just nodding to each other, use your character, why I choose you for god sake” he parked
“You only trust me to be with him, and I’m pretty sure Loki didn’t even notice Tony yet” He grinned
“They are coming back in two days time at most, no more problems Coulson” Fury said
“Yes sir” Phil sighed closing his tablet
He felt them tying him to this cold iron table, he can see him hooded like always but he wasn’t by himself there were two more dressing just like him, he felt the blade touching his body cutting deep from shoulder to shoulder in straight line, he felt the other carving something on his back, he heard their cruel laughter
“What? Is that all what you can do?” he smirked at them laughing in try to hide his pain
“You think you are brave by acting like this” he whispered at him with his cold voice grabbing his hair painfully
“Well yes, you can do your little games for as long as you want but I never work for you ...you filthy creature”
“Look who is talking ? Or did you forget what you are, you runt” he hissed cutting through his body again
“I’m Loki , that is all what you need to know”
“I know who you are , the runt whose father left him to die because he just a little shit”
“He is not my father” Loki parked
“Oh, so it would be Odin , who never sees you as a worthy son , leaving you to fall, celebrating his real worthy son victory not showing slightest grieve upon your death”
“I’m not..he is not..” he startled
“What he is not your father too? So what are you? A bastard ? Even bastards have father”
“Stop” Loki cried
“So soon?! You didn’t even last to the end of the day you such disgrace”
“Thor” Loki whispered sobbing silently
“Thor? You think he cares for you? How can you even imagine him caring for a frost giant?” he laughed
“He is my brother” Loki cried
“What brother? He never looked at you as his equal for him you were just his servant”
“No, he is my brother, he loves me” Loki said not knowing he was saying a fact or questioning it
“Is that doubt?” He smirked “If he loved you and sees you as his brother why he fought with you ? Why he tried to hurt you for the sake of the mortal woman he loves? What is this love which can be forgotten in minutes seeking a few days old relationship by destroying a life time one?”
“He...he loves me...I’m his brother ...he won’t leave me” Loki sobbed , his brother won’t leave him here he will search for him rescue him from this suffering , but why he didn’t look for me ?
“Can’t you see, you are dead for him , he didn’t even bother himself looking for you at all, he gave up on you Loki “ his laughs became higher and higher till Loki can only hear it and nothing else not even the sound of him crying .
Phil fell asleep on the chair next to loki, it was peaceful night well till now, a scream torn the silence of the night sending him to his feet gasping in fear
He turn on the lights quickly only to see Loki curling upon himself sobbing mumbling some words that he can recognise this time , it only made his heart aching with sorrow on hearing calling for his brother begging him not leave him alone and not to gave up on him
Phil sat next to him, patting him gently to wake up from this terrible dream, he holds him with both of his hands and for his surprise he was so small and fragile he was just a kid Phil thought
Loki opened his eyes letting out a muffled cry and tried to move away
“Hush, stay, it’s okay Loki, don’t hold it , let it go , cry if you think it will make you feel better, cry as it’s the only way to save you the pain” Phil said holding him tightly
“Th...Thor” Loki muttered
“He will be back soon , didn’t he promise you that?” Phil said gently and Loki nodded at him sniffling before he realised he wasn’t Thor
“not thor...not thor..” his mind start to work quickly , he jerked back to the end of the bed grabbing his blanket
“Loki!” Phil muttered frowning , he moved slowly trying to calm him down making him only fell off the bed
“Hey don’t you remember me? The agent you were fighting with earlier?” he was shocked by how he reacts , he sat next to him on the floor keeping a distance between them trying not to scare him again
“Well, this awkward but I see now how you make them all fell for you” Phil said smiling at how Loki looked like, he was just a kid , he can see it now a scared kid with this big green sad eyes holding to his blanket , Phil sighed “Yup, cute” he whispered eye widening when he realised what he just said praying Loki didn’t hear him
Loki frowned hiding a little behind his blanket
“Hey come out I won’t bite you” Phil giggled thinking of his childish reaction
Loki came out looking at him wirily before smiling a little and his green eyes looked like it was shining ,he stared at him wondering how this innocent eyes were once called evil
“Do you feel well now?” he asked him
Loki nodded looking at his clothes annoyed it was covered with blood stain
“I know someone needs a shower and some clean clothes” Phil said quietly smiling at him
*Can you help me get on my feet* he frowned
“Of course buddy , come “ Phil replied taking his hand helping him to stand , Loki walked slowly to his cupboard taking out some of his clothes and headed to the bathroom
Phil started to clean up the bed changing the covers with clean ones and tiding the messy room, putting the medicine in the correct order so he won’t mix them , when the door was opened with Loki coming out drying his hair with a towel , he looked much more better than the last night
“Green and black again , you only know these two colours or what” Phil smirked
*Well, they suit me* Loki blushed a little
“Yeah, can’t deny that” he chuckled
“Hungry?” he asked him softly
Loki shaked his head nervously holding his stomach
“What’s wrong? You feel sick?” he asked
Loki nodded frowning afraid he might throw up if he ate
“But you need to eat something , your body needs it and to take your medicine too” Phil said “Come we will find something tasty to eat , you like chocolate?” he asked holding his hand
Loki nodded looking happy
“Yeah, this may actually work” Phil said to himself smiling
“The only thing I can cook is cupcakes” he giggled “what about some hot chocolate too” Phil said while loki sat on the chair in front of him watching him cooking with curiosity
“Voi la, finished” Phil said funnily Putting a plate in front of Loki who looked at him confused
“Eat” he yelled
“No” he said
“No talking, remember” Phil said quietly afraid of repeating earlier scenario
*I’m not feeling well* his hands was shaking and his eyes rolled back , he leaned down throwing up
Phil was shocked , he was throwing up blood, Phil rushed to hold him before he fall to the ground , little whimper coming out of him, he felt pain burning inside him, it was endurable that he started to cry
“Loki, stay with me, don’t close your eyes” Phil yelled carrying him now to the medical wing quickly
“Jarvis, start your full examination now” Phil shouted
“Yes sir”
He waited eagerly till the examination was finished
“Nothing different sir, it’s the same as the last one doctor Banner did with slight improvement”
“How is this even possible?” he cried
“Jarvis, what should I do? I’m no expert” he shouted
“I think you should give him the medicine Dr Simmons left”
“I can only give him another sedative? , but we can’t just make him sleep every time this happen to only have him awaken by another nightmare this is torture” he cried
“You prefer watching him shocking on his blood?” a voice answered him inside his head, he need to act rationally
“ may I suggest give him something to stop his high blood fluidity and watch him 24/7 till we figure this out” Jarvis said
“So, what are you waiting for” he shouted satisfied with Jarvis opinion,
he injected him with some drugs sitting down waiting for him to wake up , an hour passed he was checking his vitals when he heard a weak moan , he ran to his side helping him sit down straight
“How do you feel ?”
* What’s wrong with me?* another whimper came out
“I’ll find this out don’t worry, I’ll do my best I promise you” he said in a cry hugging him ,Loki didn’t stop him he needed it the most, he needed someone to comfort him telling everything is going to be okay and he doesn’t need to worry, that he won’t leave him....But he did
“Thor” he mumbled weakly
“Oh, kiddo, you really love him don’t you” he sighed patting his back gently to sleep
“sir” Jarvis said “You should leave him now and get some rest” Phil looked confused then he realised he fell asleep still holding Loki who slept in his arms
“How long have I been sitting like this?” he wondered , he put him gently fixing the pillow under his head and turned to leave when he felt him holding his hand mumbling something, he sat next to him “I think I’ll stay with him” he sighed smiling, feeling bit strange, he knew that Loki can’t control his emotion properly but this is different he seems not to recognise him at all, calling thor all the time like he can see him , like he is thinking me thor!!
Phil can’t call it a quiet night no how can it be with all these nightmare, screams and sobbing it was hell , also the cold, in summer for god sake but he didn’t mess to notice how it was strangely connected to Loki , like his emotions triggers it, wasn’t he a frost giant though he has non a single clue what this supposed to mean, all he saw is an ordinary asgardian well maybe a slim one small one but no doubts he can’t see any giants here, he only saw a broken man..
Things were surprisingly better this morning , Loki woke up feeling normal still some high temperature and signs of cold but he was actually fine, none of yesterday’s strange seizures, Phil was relieved by this so much
“You sure? Like completely sure?” Phil asked him again
Loki nodded patiently “Yes, I’m sure, I feel fine”
“So about not talking, it’s becoming ridiculous reminding you all the time” Phil pouted frowning ready for another round of their fight but he was surprised when Loki just nodded as sorry
“You won’t shout at me or get mad?” Phil yelled
*So I end up coughing blood again* he shacked his head nervously as he was afraid Phil thought
“But you said you feeling normal , right?” he asked trying to cheer him up
“How I’ll ever feel normal with all of this noise in here* Loki signed pointing at his head
“You can beat it up in fact you already did, he doesn’t control you any more and you are much more stronger to be worried by some pathetic voices just ignore it” Phil said putting a hand on Loki’s shoulder “You know, you don’t have to fight this alone”
Loki stared at him for a while then he smiled at him
“Come, this time I’ll make you milkshake, chocolate I know you will love it , jut hope it won’t be a déjà vu” Phil gulped worried and loki just raised an eyebrow following him

Notes