The silver's tears

Another cold day , Loki didn't wake up or maybe just refusing to, thor sitting next to him all the daylong except for this everything was normal Pepper left for a work trip like always but this time with broken heart, Avengers were busy like usual but without thor this time even fury can't make him join them again
Things changed thor can feel it , empty…shattered…angry…hate everything and everyone even loki
Is that what loki felt? When he was left alone…when he begged them to die, yes he knew, loki didn't tell them all the truth but he knew it from this dream once he had, loki died? Yes he did but not by body …by soul, loki he once knew … loki his mother raised was gone forever , what is left is just an empty one pretending to be strong trying to hide his broken pieces … even when loki wake the last time he wasn't by his side he left him to defend a world he knew it'll never be his home …defending for people may call him a monster the moment he moves away, leaving his home, his brother that he once fought him for them
"Hey big guy, how are you?"
"Oh hey cap, when you returned?"
"An hour ago, we thought you were asleep"
"But Jarvis informed us that you didn't leave this room for three days now" Tony said
"Look man I know you are worry about him but three days without sleep or eat this is suicide" Banner said quietly
"I've stayed longer than this" Thor said with boredom
"Are you still mad with me?" Clint said sadly
"It doesn't matter anymore"
"Is there something wrong?" Natasha asked wondering about his strange attitude
"Everything is wrong can't you see" Thor said coldly
"Hey what is wrong with you? Why are you angry with us?" tony snarled
"I shouldn't have joined you from the beginning many things would have been different if I didn't" thor shouted
"Don't let him play with your mind" Loki said quietly
"Great another copy , what are you going to whine about this time" Thor grinned
"Who is that guy again?" Tony said he can't believe that this man is thor no way
"I don't think I'm the one who is going to whine this time" Loki smirked
"Really? This is odd because the only person I know who is a big whiny baby is you"
"Oh for the first time your friends see the other thor, the one who didn't deserve to be a king , the one who wasn't worthy of his powers , the golden son right?"
"Man, you are the most weird brothers I've ever seen" Clint said
"a question please, who the fuck are you? Loki, a copy, a memory or this freaky guy? " Tony shouted he don't understand anything
"Fighting with thor , he is loki that is for sure" Natasha smirked
"We didn't fight yet we are just talking" Loki grinned
"You? Fight me? You really think you have a chance against me you runt" thor parked
"Jesus, thor…what the hell are you saying?!" Steve shouted at him
"Well I know it's him controlling you so I won't get mad" Loki said quietly his voice was shaking from sad and anger no one control thor and make him say this ever
Thor attacked him grunting but he passed through loki
"You always fell for this" loki grinned casting a green gaze on Thor’s face
"This is no time for your silly games loki" thor parked jerking back , he felt dizzy for a while then everything was clear again, he was back , the copy disappeared but then a young voice said childishly
"But you used to love our games…big brother"
"Hey what are you doing here?" the real loki asked sitting on the bed
"You awake" young loki said in joy
"and you aren't suppose to be here" loki said coldly
"Who is he?" tony yelled
"Loki" Banner called
"Yes" both of them answered looking at him
"Two of him, this is torture" Tony whined and both of them grinned
"Brother" Thor yelled in happiness
"Leave me alone" big loki said
"yes, brother" young loki said gently
"I missed this loki so much" thor said hugging him tightly
"I missed him too" young loki said
"What do you want?" loki asked coldly
"I want you to remember me, don't let me go" he said sadly
"Oh, poor baby" Natasha said holding his shoulder
"I'm sorry for what he called you that day it was so mean" young loki said looking ashamed
"What did I say?" loki whined
"very bad thing be glad that mother didn't find this out" young loki said agitated
"Thanks to Thor’s friends of course I bet you I learned it from Thor’s silly friends" Loki smirked
"Don't worry I understand it wasn't you or you " she said chuckling a little it was confusing having two of him
"Hey how old are you" Steve asked him smiling
"twelve" loki said blushing
"Loki you are blushing again" Thor laughed
"both of them are turning red" tony smirked
"Tell me, you know everything, right? I don't want to see this again" loki said firmly looking worried
"Yes, don't want to remember it either" he said quietly
"Good , now leave or stay I don't care" Loki said leaving the room
"But I wanna stay with you" young loki said sadly and sat down
Thor sighed holding Loki’s shoulder "I'm here"
"I know … I just miss him …I don't wanna end like that" Loki cried hugging thor
"You stop crying right now" Loki barked grabbing his arm
"Hey what is wrong with you" Thor shouted at him
"Mind your own business" Loki hissed at him then turned to young loki "come with me" he said grabbing him
"No, I hate you" he cried
"Leave the kid alone Loki" Clint shouted at him
"You know what I hate you too, hate your weakness, little pathetic" Loki shouted
"I'm the pathetic one ? so what are you ? You can't even understand yourself you are insane with twisted mind and sick thoughts not me" he parked at him
"all you do is whining like little girl complaining all the time, refusing to see people who care about him, you are the pathetic not him" Thor said
"of course you love this loki, the weak one, following you to everywhere like your shadow, never said a word against you or Odin , so why not loving him?... but me I will not be silent , all this time spent in vain , wasted pathetic years" Loki cried
"He is playing with your head again" banner said
"Maybe, who didn't…everyone wanted to make me someone else till I lost who I really was , is this even real? Or just another illusion …" loki said bitterly
"This is real" Thor cried at him
"How I know? Since I fall everything is a mess…how long was it days, years? I don't know …when I was kept in that dark cold room for years forced to listen to your insults all the day was this real? When mother was killed in front of me and you blamed me for it was this real? When they captured me torturing me was this real? When I was taken chained back to asgard and Odin telling me I was the biggest mistake he had made and should have left me to die was this real? When the only thing I asked for , no not asked …the only thing I begged for is to let me die was this real? Were all these real or just illusions?" Loki parked clattering "I won't be silent anymore"
"Then don't be , shout…cry…do anything for god sake , anything but this silence, it is killing me" Thor said shaking him
"Have some faith on us , on yourself …you are not alone" Steve said
Loki laughed bitterly "Faith…irony is that all what I once had was faith, that everything will be fine one day , but this day never came ,this day ending is the prove that time killing all the faith I know…knowing that this faith is all I have, but I know… all I know that is the end's beginning"
"Why to lose it? Everyone here had their worst days once too, but never gave up or lost their faith…faith that after this dark night there will be light …life is just a dark tunnel one day you will reach its end and see the light .... we see dawn everyday some of us only see it as the end of a day ,dark and cold …other see it as a beginning of a new day waiting for the light for the sun for a new hope" Banner said sitting next to loki
"Sometimes hope just dies , somehow…sun down , clouds hiding the sun keeps me waiting…"
"Make your own sun, your own light…don't wait for anything , you wanna something fight for it "Steve said
"You called me weak cause I cried but if you give up now after all of this then you are the weak one" Young loki said
"Give up?!" Loki shouted "after all what he made me suffer you think I'll just give up , I'll make him beg to die but to revenge that means to cut all the threads attached to you'" loki said looking at thor
"So leaving me again right?" Thor shouted "No, don't even dare to think this will happen , you think your fight with him is your right only, you are wrong he made you suffer…Or you forgot what this means? Someone dares to hurt you…my little brother …to hell with everything , I'll slaughter this bastard , for me home is not asgard neither midgard , my home is where you are , you are the only home I've ever thought of doesn't matter if this ends with both of us dead at least I'll be with you in your side" thor said holding him tightly
"Did you ever know that you are my hero?" young loki said " Or that you are everything I'd like to be? Have I ever told you that? I think not" he said looking at loki
"all of them always said that I'm jealous of you…sometimes I am but never doubt the I love you more than anyone else … I might have never make you see this or notice it but I've got it all here…in my heart, I just want you to know the truth, without you…without you I'll be nothing" Loki said hugging thor hiding his face on his broad shoulder
"God I mess this hug so much brother" thor said sobbing
"Me too" loki said quietly hugging him more tightly
"Oh little hero" Natasha said playing in young Loki’s hair
"Me? Hero?" he asked blushing
"Of course , who can help loki except loki himself " Nat said winking
"Did I really think of you as my hero" Loki smirked
"shut up, don't ruin the moment" thor said putting his hand on Loki’s mouth
Loki frowned and try to speak in a muffled way
"What?" thor grinned
Loki looked away sobbing quietly , he was hurt …scared too , what he had been through, but after all he is with his brother now, right?...So why he feels like there is a thousand miles between them, why he feels so lonely? What is left of him is just a broken mess
"Hey what is wrong?" thor said holding him
"I am what is wrong " Loki cried "can't you see? I've tried so hard I … no matter what I did, no matter what I'll do, it will always ends the same fucken way "
"After all what I've said , what we all said you still think the same way …why? You enjoy torturing yourself …drowning yourself in your miserable pity" Thor shouted at him, he started to lose hope, he lost his brother now he can see it
"You have lost him , that loki you are talking about died a long time ago why don't you admit that? " Young loki shouted " I understand him , this one is not me any more we are two different persons, this one was left alone ,suffered alone, faced his fate alone … died alone , and now you come and say to him that you are all by his side and wants him to take this for sure that easily , maybe I'm not that loki but I still can know what he feels right now…so empty, shattered, weak, scared, just scattered pieces" he said agitated then moved towards holding his hand
"I thought I might help you, but you were right , I'm sorry, I failed " he cried and disappeared
"Not everyone can be saved , some people's fate is to be left behind" Loki said quietly leaving the room
"Thor you must admit that, loki you once knew is gone forever" Banner said
"he still can be saved, he deserves a second chance" Thor yelled
"Till when you will deny this, rejecting the truth?" Tony shouted at him "You only make him feels worse , you are being selfish can't you see?"
"Selfish? wanting him to come back, to be himself once again is selfish?" Thor parked
"Don't you think he tried this before? Do you even listen to what he says? You accept him like this or leave him for good" Steve said firmly
"I'll find loki, the one I know…with your help or without it I don't care" Thor said enraged
"And I once doubted that you are brothers, man you are much stubborn as him, may even worse than him" Tony whined
"Good" thor said leaving the room
"this won't end soon , yes?" Clint whined sighing
"They are worse than each other I swear of god" Tony scoffed
"Thor doesn't wanna believe that loki changed" Banner said
"Loki is the one who doesn't wanna see how much thor cares for him" Natasha said
"you know what is missing? Frigga" tony grinned
"and why is that?" Steve asked him
"Cause they are just two bloody kids who need their mummy to teach them how to treat each other" Tony smirked
"Yeah tell me about it, I'm feeling like we are babysitting them here" Clint said laughing

Notes