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The silver's tears

Addicted to you

It is not everyday you got a chance to have a calm Thor he would be glad with that if the situation was different but now he would even beg him to say anything he wants, for some certain reasons Thor calmness would always be the one you get before a deadly storm.
“Thor” Steve said quietly but he didn’t get an answer
“Hey buddy I’m not used to this” steve said putting a hand on his shoulder
“Huh?...I’m sorry my friend it’s just hard thinking if he is alive or not” Thor said sighing
“have some hope”
“Hope can be dangerous my friend it can drive man insane , a false hope gosh it will be the end of me”
“What? No you mustn’t think like that even if it was just an illusion you still have us have your family have jaine”
“But..” Thor said looking at him and Steve can see it in his eyes, the fear of facing this alone, he knows what loki means to him
“I know Thor, what was Loki to you but he is counting on you now to never give up on him being alive so hold on to this idea with all your powers who knows maybe your faith makes it true”
“I still remember the first time I saw him “ Thor said laughing with teary eyes
“oh yeah?” Steve asked trying to make him think of another thing for a while just to forget all what they are going to face just for a while
“I was four, when mother asked for me she was sitting on her bed holding him on her arms she told me to come closer and say hello to my new brother, he was so little staring to my face with his big green eyes when i hold his hand he smiled to me from this moment I knew he was my responsibility don’t know how i was too young to understand this but i did so did mother she knew that too”
“How was he? I mean as a child , how was your father treating him ?” Steve asked, he really wants to know everything about Loki, what can make anyone like that? The kid is still a mystery for him
“I don’t know how they kept it a secret but only them and hiemdal knew the truth about him for me and all the kingdom Loki was their youngest son who was born during the war (Child of war) i heard father once calling him that to mother , something about him was different”
“How is that?”
“babies cry all the time right? Loki didn’t even for once , mother was always worried about him and his strange silence, he got ill a lot the healer said he was so weak and that he might doesn’t make it till the morning, I remember this day mother stayed by his side all the night listening to his ragged breath and life leaving his small body, she prayed all the night to the gods to save him and she will love this motherless child as hers from all her heart, she told me that after his death when he fell, when father brought him home she didn’t love him at first or go near him ignoring that he exists till he fell sick the healer came to her carrying the news she went to see him and just one look at his eyes and she felt her heart longing to him as if he was her real child and he became her child that she loved him even more than me I guess”
“His eyes full with love and warmth also sadness and grieve” Steve said remembering how Loki used to look at them with eyes full of fear at first, he can’t forget how this look broke his heart
“Yeah, his eyes was like a mirror reflects his soul and his feelings , he must have got them from his mother ,laufey's eyes were only dark and cold “ Thor said wondering
“His mother? Oh I didn’t think about that, who was she? “
“No one knows but she wasn’t a frost giant”
“whoa what?”
“laufey was married to Fárauti she was a jutin too and they had children none of them was like him”
“Oh that’s why you think she wasn’t a jutin, you think she maybe one of yours?”
“From asgard? Maybe or one of yours too”
‘A human ?!” Steve said in shock
“Yeah we are alike so both possibility is high, one day we will know the truth and if loki was still alive I’ll protect him from the truth whatever it was and from his other brothers too “
“Brothers? Oh man they hate him too, why!?”
“He killed their father and the king , what do you think they will do if they found out he is still alive?”
“Can his life be any more difficult, this just doesn’t make any sense”
“All his life doesn’t make any sense, loki himself doesn’t make any sense” Thor said sighing
Back on asgard Hiemdal was waiting for the guests grinning about one’s particular reaction he kept screaming even before he teleported them to here
“Welcome home my queen” he said nodding
Frigga smilled to him nodding and turned to them “Hope your journey wasn’t that bad, was it stark?” she asked looking at him smiling at how he looked
“No, not at all just glad I didn’t have my breakfast” Tony said leaning to pepper who was patting him gently
“Uhm may I ask who is he?” Darcy said looking to hiemdal
“This is heimdal, the gate keeper, protector of the realm and it’s most loyal man”
“Well then there’s something he needs to know about us first” pepper said looking worried
“You’re Loki’s friends, I know everything about his stay in midgard and about all of you miss pots” Hiemdal said smiling
“But I...” she said in surprise looking to the others
“I forgot to tell you he has the ability to see everything happens in the nine realms” Frigga said laughing quietly
“Oh wow” Tony said astonished
“Now come it’ll be a long day” Frigga said sighing and they followed feeling a little worried well at least they were try to hide it
They walked passing through a large square but it was empty so was the garden they saw from far so they presumed it belongs to the royal family only and when they saw where Thor and Loki lived they were sure of this idea, the palace was so huge shining with it’s golden colours sorrounded by large green spaces and guards everywhere , they are the royal family and they are very rich even more than stark who for the first time in his life find himself fascinated of how big this place was
“If I lived in a place like that believe me I’d be insane for just thinking of leaving it” Clint said whistling and they all nodded agreeing with him
“And then who said they weren’t” Bruce said smirking
“maybe Thor yes, he didn’t love spending all his time here in fact he spent most of his time traveling and going to hunt with his friends” Frigga said
“let me guess, Loki was here all the time reading in the library right?” pepper said smiling sadly
“The young prince used to spend most of his time reading yes but also playing his tricks on us too” Hiemdal said
“He was nasty little boy quiet but mischievous” frigga agreed with him smiling
“We only knew the quiet one barely smiles” pipper sighed sadly
“That’s not true, with you he had the best days of his life believe me i know” Hiemdal said wirly
“You’re not like the others are you?” Tony asked
“I've watched over him since he was a child, it was my responsibility and i know the whole teuth before everyone else”
“And you kept it secret all this time too?” bruce asked little agitated
“if you had a chance to give a motherless child born to a cruel blood lust father a normal life with people who care for him wouldn’t you do anything to keep him safe and happy away of this horrible truth” he said quietly
“Well it didn’t seem to be happy though, you can see everything in the nine relems right? So why didn’t you see how much he suffered?” Pepper said enraged
“You really love him don’t you?” Hiemdal said smiling “Loki was different I’m sure you know that by now, his pride was always there stopping anyone trying to help him but after all you only met him at his weakest, brken self otherwise he would never let anyone of you even Thor treat him like that”
“Like what?” Tony asked perplexed
“Like he is some child who needs help all the time not trusting him to do anything by himself always worrying about him rushing to help him everytime” He said looking at them
“He is not here anymore , we don’t need to hear this to know that we failed” Pepper said running away
“Good job” Tony scolded him going after her while the others were lost in their own thoughts
She didn’t need some starnger to remind her that she had failed him nor she needs to be here at all , the only thing she wanted right now is to go far away from everyone and everything to be left alone for a while so when she heard Tony callong for her, she didn’t stop running searching for a place where she could be alone , running not looking back till she just stopped staring at a closed room something in it was calling her to come in , something lost
The only thing she remembers was entering the room closing the door behind her so no one can interrupt her, the room was so familiar like she was here before the green colour around her covering most of the room gave her that feeling and for the first time in a long time she slept deeply and peacefully after all she was home.
Tony didn’t follow her he knew she needs some time alone so he went back to their friends looking annoyed
“Don't worry about her, she is in the only place she wants to be in right now” Hiemdal said reassuring them
“She found his room then” Bruce said smiling a little
“Yes she did and his bed too” Heimdal smirked
“She slept that fast?” Tony asked surprised
“Just like a child” he answered smiling
“I can use that” Darcy said yawning
“Actually all of us do” bruce said looking tired
“Follow me then, I’ll show you your rooms
“Shouldn’t we see uh the king?” Tony asked
“He isn’t here, the dark elves and destroying of the bifrost all of this left the relems in great chaos” Frigga sighed
“Thank god, I mean bad luck” Tony startled
“Come smartass save your sass” Clint smirked pushing him to the room
“Okay gosh you’re so pickering” Tony whined crashing on the nearest chair
“Someone is in desperate need of rest” Natasha smiled messing with his hair
“So much I can sleep a year” he said holing her closer leaning his head on her
“Good luck with” Clint smirked taking off his shoes
“Hey where the hell you think you’re going” Tony yelled
“Dude, we’re staying together” clint said rolling his eyes
“No we’re not” Tony said looking at the others for help
“Oh, yes we’re” Bruce smirked batting his shoulder
“This is the boys room, you know the team always stick together” Natasha said trying not to laugh
“Come girls, your room is at the end of the hall” Frigga said smiling “ Have some rest boys you don’t want to come to the royal dinner looking like that do you, my dear husband my be there”
“Great now I know where did loki get his attitude” Tony whined
“From me of course who else did you think of” She smirked
“Gosh” Tony said face palming himself
“Welcome home my boy” Clint smirked messing with Tony’s hair
“Home sweet home, yay”
“This will be a long night” Bruce said sighing
“Cheer up brucie boy, you agreed on that after all” Tony smirked crushing on the nearest bed “Umm, do not wake me ever”
“Good night asgard” Clint said falling asleep
“Well, I think some sleep won’t be bad at all, good night guys”
“yeah, yeah now all of you shut up and someone turn off this bloody lights” Tony mumbled

“Hey Thor, i don’t know about you but I’ve been driving the whole day and i wanna have some rest and you can’t drive, so..there is a motel near by the way” Steve said yawning
“I think we can call it till the sun rises” Thor said smiling tirdly
Steve knew he wasn’t okay with thousands thoughts shouting in his head can’t have the strength to fight it alone, Steve knew this would be a long night
When they arrived at the motel steve check them in and then went to get some food leaving thor alone but was he !?
For some reasons Thor felt it again like the fisrt night he spent after Loki’s fall, That night he kept awake all the night sure that his brother survived it and he will find him in the morning fighting with father again but when the morning came the only thing he found was the silence and the grieve and Asgard that was once shiny and full of joy turnrd to be dark and hateful like today
“Thor” steve called him worried of his strange silent and staring to nothing , Steve didn’t know what to do with this grumpy blonde so he decided to play it low , he started to prepare the food and brought some cold soda cans giving one to Thor who flinched from the surprise he didn’t even notice that steve was here.
“Sorry, but you seemed shut off” Steve muttered
“I don’t know Steve, I should be at least joyful that he might be still alive but I’m not” Thor sighed covering his face
“But why!?” Steve wondered setting next to him
“I lived this before feeling that false hope, this night reminds me of another night, a dark one “
“The night he fell” Steve said knowing not asking
“Y..yes, that night i kept the hope that I’ll find in the morning waiting for me to fight to shout to do anything but to be here was everything to me but he wasn’t”
“I lived this too” Steve muttered
“You did?” Thor asked surprised
“You remember that i told you that bucky was the same as loki”
“That he fell too?!”
“No, this is another story to tell, this one is about hope, the war was at its peek and bucky with his team signed for a dangerous mission and all the connections were cut with them I...I received a message that they failed and maybe dead, at this time I wasn’t the man i'm today , i never get in a fight but everyone has their time right?,I went alone armed with one thing just my hope that he is still alive and there he was injured bruesed barely breathing but he was alive and this what only matters”
Thor didn’t say a word he just nodded at him smiling with eyes fighting to cry
“I know everything i say won’t change how you feel and that to have hope again is a dangerous thing if it turned to be just a lie “
“Steve I’m sorry I know all of you are suffering with me but”
“But you as stubborn as your brother especially when it comes to what you feel even the end of the world won’t change it, We know that buddy and we don’t care cause all of us lived this before and will live it again it’s how we know that we care the grieve the denial the struggle for a new hope a new chance to make things right, Miracles don’t happen anymore they say but it does happen the only difference is that we are the ones who make it happen not waiting for them but if you pray for the rain you have to deal with the mud” Steve said pushing on his hand reassuring him
“For a thunderer and a big brotger I’m dealing with a lot of mud already” Thor smirked
“We not just you, keep that in mind you’re an avenger part of our team , my right hand and both of you are family to us to me , thor he isn’t your only brother and you’re not the only big brother believe it or not I’m the big brother here” Steve said laughing
“ You will regret that believe me , being a big brother is just....” Thor whined not knowing the right word to describe it
“Such a pain in the ass, yeah I know” Steve smirked “Mama steve remember” Steve said laughing
“Stark and his strange names” Thor laughed eyes shining with tears
“Yes and we’re going to find ourselves a lost reindeer games” Steve said smiling
“Yeah capsicle” Thor laughed
“Fine point break that’s enough” Steve said grapping him to the table so they can finally have some proper food
“Thanks Steve” Thor said quietly
“For what buddy, i did nothing”
“You did a lot and still, back then after Loki’s fall, they all tried to make me come over it and let him go moving on, but they all failed everything they did was meaningless for me, I lost the desire to live any more”
“Like there is this big dark hole in your heart that even thousand star won’t make it any brighter or fill this void in your heart”
“Yes ! Steve you really know that feeling don’t you? You know I keep whining about my loss forgetting that you too suffered the same yet you do all what you can to make things better and make me smile again, not thinking for once about how you feel” Thor said hurt
“Hey it’s okay buddy don’t bother yourself, it has been a long time”
“No it’s not okay Steve even after a hundred year it will always be the same believe me it will always hurt I know, hurts that you won’t see them again, hurts that you won’t talk to them again , fight with them, laugh with them, telling them your silly secrets and dreams , it hurts that we can’t let them go , it hurts that we live in world so starnge for us and it hurts more when we have to live in this strange world without them by our side always guiding us home offering a shoulder to lean on when we are tired of this shitty world, so don’t tell me it’s okay cause it’s not , it will never be okay and it will always hurt” Thor yelled his voice breaking crying
“Don’t you think i feel like this all the time?” Steve cried “ that not a day passes without me wishing they were here alive, that i could tell peggy that I loved her and only loved her , to tell bucky that he will always be my friend my brother and the only person i can give my life for, so don’t tell me how much it hurts cause I know it very well, but I’ve to move on, to keep up living, keep up smiling hoping, you know why ? Because if they were here they would kick my ass if I kept whining all the time about how much i miss them and guess what, I don’t, cause I have people here to look after I have friends who I’m willing to give my life to, I have you, all of you calling me their friend calling me their family so yeah I won’t miss them cause they are here with me living in each on of you cause you’re my family you stupid blonde” Steve said smiling with tears rolling on his face
“I guess Loki was right about you” Thor said smiling hugging him
“Why? What did he said?!” Steve asked drinking some water to calm him down
“On day we had a fight, you were all asleep, he didn’t want me to help him or talk to me like he used to do, I was angry and desperate so I told him that I’m the only one here who would care about him and none of you will care about what happens to him” Thor said quietly looking down
“You did what?” Steve said stepping away hurt
“I was angry okay, I didn’t mean it that way, but don’t worry he didn’t believe me at least when it comes to you, he said that he believe that about anyone even me but not you,that you won’t leave him and you will always be there for him and that you will always be the one who cares about him “ Thor said feeling little jealous
“Of course I will” Steve said beaming “I’m his big brother after all” he grinned at thor who stared at him preplexing
“Excuse me I am his big brother” Thor yelled
“Yeah for loki but for me i'm the big brother for you both” Steve smirkd
“That makes sense i guess” Thor said smiling “Big brother huh I love the sound of it already” he beamed crushing Steve in a hug
“Oh gosh”Steve whined feeling his bones crushing by thor's hug
Back on asgard someone was watching them smiling of how far they reached in their relationship all of them, thinking of the ones who still didn’t meet before, the only ones who need to know each other cause they are what it’s only left from her, of all her beauty and soul they are the only memory of her now and he has a promise to keep, to bring up two worlds together as they both for his admiration are the faces of the same coin with all their differences they are the same and they need each other more than ever
“Aren’t you going to end this mischievous game already”
“He really loves him doesn’t he? They all do, but it’s only me who he should love only me”
“that’s foolishness you can’t have him for yourself stealing him from everyone cares about him, that’s selfish my dear”
“But with them he will never see me or even notice me and I can’t bear the idea of living without him, he is the only person left for me in this world, you know this very well”
“That’s not right my dear, don’t you remember who found out about you in the first place after all these years, we thought you were dead with your mother but here you are alive and looks exactly like her though I only see him in your eyes even if it was her eyes you have but these eyes will always remind me of him”
“Really, he looks like me that much?” she said happily sighing” I didn’t have the chance to see him well, I miss her so much, I don’t wanna be alone anymore please it has been a long time since she passed away”
“I know, I felt it when she died that’s why we thought you too didn’t make it, but you know what I’m sure he will love you, his heart won’t find a place in it for hating you, he just needs to look in your eyes to know everything , he would be so eager to know everything especially about her and this is your job to tell him all the truth, this time no more secrets no more lies”
“And what about your king? He won’t accept that”
“leave this to me my dear, i have my ways you just keep him safe and think again it’s time to let all the hatred and anger go away and accept them as his family like you are his family too, and what family means my little lady ? They care for each other accept them like they are not trying to change them for what suits us better”
“I will, I promise, he is my only family”
“Just him?”
“No, of course not, you too the only family I have, you were always there for me since the day you found out about me , always caring about me, for that i will always be grateful for having such a gareat uncle, thank you”
Though she was tired she couldn’t sleep that night at all, maybe because she is standing under a new magical sky seeing her dream of finding new worlds and prove her theory right finally comes true, how could she sleep leaving all this beauty behind? She envied Thor for living in such place like a drawing from a fairy tale book and she couldn’t stop wondering how could someone hates to live here ? But not everything is about the place but the people right? Paradise will be hell if you lived with people doing their best to make you hate your life and from what she heard and Thor told her this paradise was Loki’s hell , she sighed going back to their room, hoping that she never have too see Loki's Asgard

Notes

Comments

This is amazing really loving this there is more to come right?

hana hana
7/3/18

@ChickyMama42
Thanks dear, hope you'll enjoy the rest more

Lokinada Lokinada
5/31/18

Really enjoy this so far!

ChickyMama42 ChickyMama42
5/31/18

@ShiaSurprise
oww thank you i'm glad you like it and hope you will like it more :D
i didn't realise this problem till too late and seems like i can't edit it :( i'll try again it looks awful :(

Lokinada Lokinada
10/4/16

I like it, can't wait for more updates! Can I just make a suggestion? Make paragraphs and add a double space between each one, it's hard to read in the current format. Good job!!

ShiaSurprise ShiaSurprise
10/3/16