The silver's tears
"Just don't.." Steve said crushing on the chair next to him without looking to bucky
"What do you mean by that !? Listen i may be still trying to remember you well but i know you , The Captain america the righteous man right? so how can you approve this !? Or keep silent !" Bucky yelled at him then backed away taking a deep breath to control his anger
" You have been spending lots of time with Sam " steve smirked " But you can't judge a person from his past only , can you? "
"Then explain to me would you !? He was here , he was your responsibility to look after but you all looked away leaving him under the mercy of an arrogant cruel man call himself his brother? Explain to me how did you trust him after all of that ? and judging by your look when your read it , you already knew ! Answer me , this is my only way to know why ?" Bucky pleaded him
"Why..!!?" Steve asked confused
Yes, why all of this thoughts !?..... Why do i even care ! What's his connection to me !!?"
"Listen to me , i know that you're lost , and i understand your anger i really do , but i can't..." Steve said covering his face
"Why!!?" Bucky yelled at him frustrated
"I can't just let you accuse the man that spends all his time blaming himself for what happened it's like you say to him that all this dark thoughts were right and he killed his brother , please you can't do this to him , just don't , and yes i said it again and I'll say it every time you try to open this , cause we had this before , the same damn diary with a lot of shouting and accusing .
But you know what is the difference!? Back then loki was with us , he was sleeping on the couch and when our voices started to be loud accusing thor that he was just like the others he woke up afraid and do you know who ran to him calming him down , holding him in his arms whispering to him to sleep again !? It was Thor not us and the irony is Loki was afraid of us and only felt safe in thor's arms "
"But i failed him at the end , and I'm the only one to be blamed " Thor said smiling bitterly
"Thor, please just don't let his talk get you , he didn't mean it " Steve said walking to him
"I'm used to that don't worry , and this diary , god it's just a pain in the ass right , just like who wrote it , i swear I'll kill this little shit always writing about bad things only huh !? " Thor laughed looking away to hide his trembling
"Why do you sound like stark !? Oh god he is like a disease , an infectious one too " Steve joined him in laughter glad that he won't have to watch a fight between these two or worse a crying self loathing blonde
" Nah it was clint but they are alike so you're not wrong " Thor said then looked to Bucky who was stunned not knowing what to do " Listen my friend he is my brother , my silly young brother, sure we have ups and downs like any brothers in the world , the difference here is that my brother is not like any other brother in the world , neither am i "
"What do you mean !?" Bucky asked
"I mean he won't write a diary about the good things that happened to him ! I know him , Loki can't express his feelings properly that's something the rest know by now , especially the good ones he can't show you that he cares or that he loves you or appreciates what you do to him , no ! But he can tslk very well about the bad ones being afraid , being oppressed , to hate you even , don't know why but that's Loki and since you didn't meat him before it's clear that you wouldn't know that even in a million years "
"Yup that's what i was trying to tell you bucky , it took us weeks to understand that , there was a time when he couldn't even walk by himself and still would push away anyone try to help him " Steve sighed
"Especially if it was me " Thor smiled sadly leaving them ignoring Bucky's confusion and thoughts as he was drowning in his own thoughts and one memory particularly seemed to be ages ago ...
It was a couple days before the coffee incident , Loki was back to his old self a little but still weak prefering to stay in his room all the time
Thor thought he was just ignoring him playing the tough guy role like always till he fed up with that attitude going to his room without waiting for Loki's permission , something he regretted it latter but still was glad that he did it to know the real truth ; Loki wasn't ignoring him , he was too weak to walk by himself out of the room and Thor was shocked to see his baby brother in the ground crying in frustration and anger of his weak self
"Brother, why you didn't tell me , why you insist on keeping me away !?" Thor cried crushing next to him trying to hopd his hand but Loki pushed him away in anger but this didn't stop Thor from holding him lefting him up to his feet he knew Loki is weak enough to not push him away , he just looked away hiding his tears but thor turns to face him
"You have all the right to be ashamed if it was someone else , but you don't have the right to feel that with me , you know why!?"
Thor asked Loki still holding him to his feet walking him slowly out of the room
"Cause the one who taught you how to walk has all the right to be your crutch "