The silver's tears

When did all this start? I don't remember ,maybe since I was a child I grew up in thor's shadow until one day I turned into a shadow, an empty body without a soul , the one thing kept me alive is the look in their eyes sometimes it is disrespect, sometimes it is hatred and the worst: pity, I was the weak one, so different than any of them this look kept me alive till the day I can say that I'm not a shadow that I'm a worthy son more than thor, I tried so hard but in my heart I know I failed myself .
I only wanted to be his equal to be treated like him with all respect , admiration and love , I didn't hate thor I never did, I always looked up to him as my big brother, who is sometimes no more than an arrogant and fool never thinks before doing something stupid but I loved him, stood with him, protected him, but he never treated me like his equal, no always his little brother less than him in everything "know your place brother " he kept saying this to me, I know my place I'm your brother your true friend the one who would fight for you till the end but no you preferred your friends on me believing every word they about me that I envy you, jealous of your success, well brother since everyone believed their lies why shouldn't I make it real
" Good boy now you begin to understand , I only wanted to help you loki " his voice was hoarse but still cold it make him shivers ,he couldn't see him but the voice was so close to him
"What do you want, aren't you satisfied with all you did to me? what you made me do?, wasn't that enough? " Loki said in pain
"You stupid boy, I only did this for your own good, to revenge your pain"
"Why? I didn't ask you to save me or help me you should had left me to die "loki shouted
"No, you are my friend …our friend and you don't want us to be angry with you Loki"
"How dare you threaten me?"
"oh loki I'm not the one who threaten you ,you know me I'm patient I prefer persuasion with words but he won't be pleased with this and you know how he reacts when someone make him angry or did you forget " he said quietly touching loki's face with his unseen hands it was cold even for loki ,he flinched viciously remembering what happened before they are trying to control him again forever this time ,it was painful all these memories and thoughts he couldn't bear it screamed over and over but no one could help him now, he heard all of them laughing at his weakness father, mother, thor calling him weak, pathetic ,frost giant shouting at him to shut up no one wanted to hear you, no one care, you shouldn't speak you filthy runt
How long did this torture last days...months...years he didn't know ,they never get bored repeating this over and over he screamed until his voice failed him and gone, his eyes are useless what benefit of them in this endless dark
This was the end...his end he should have known that his destiny was to die abandoned in the cold ,this is his real birth right to die alone abandoned hated by everyone, no reasons now to fight back or struggle for his life or his own freedom it was over he confessed it with one single tear .
Banner was gone for only five minutes when Jarvis told him that loki vitals are slowing down , he rushed back again but then he noticed he wasn't dying he was awakening up
"Oh god, Jarvis inform the rest quickly" but there was no response
"Jarvis"
"Answer me"
He was all by himself now with the other guy of course he can feel him trying to take control
Loki woke up and banner hold his breath from the surprise ,he sit on the bed just staring to nothing breathing heavily ,banner felt the cold, the temperature went down fast he looked stunned, then anger appear on his face he was panting now looking around looking for something then his eyes focused on something and start moving towards it slowly with shaking legs ,banner freaked out he was going towards his tools might be used as a weapon in need, he now felt the other guy coming out without invitation like always ,loki didn't care or maybe he didn't notice him at all he hold a scalpel he kept looking at it for a while then he turned looking to banner who was now almost hulk he smiled at him then started to cut himself many times hulk grunted at him and started destroying almost all the equipment around them ,loki stopped for a second then he cuts his wrist ,hulk stared at him while loki was cutting his wrist over and over trying to do the same thing to his other wrist ,hulk moved towards him taking the scalpel from him throwing it towards the wall loki just stood looking blank then he started to laugh insanely rising his hands in front of his face watching the blood the laughter turned to cry and sob hulk hold him and sit on the ground keeping loki in his arms
"Hulk here …loki no cry ...hulk sorry ...loki sad" hulk kept saying this to Loki when doors open suddenly and the whole team rushing in ready to fight
"what the hell " tony said looking to the destruction around them when he noticed hulk in the corner holding loki he was so small in hulk’s huge hands and there was blood around them
Natasha moved slowly towards hulk
"Hulk, it’s fine calm down now you don't wanna hurt anyone here" Natasha said softly
"Hulk not angry...hulk sad"
"Why sad?" Natasha asked
Hulk turned to them letting them see Loki in his hands he was unconscious with really bad cuts in his hands and his wrists won't stop bleeding
Natasha panicked "hulk you must calm down now and give us Loki so we could help him"
"Shit shit, Jarvis prepare the other room fast" tony said moving closer to hulk
"Hey big guy give me Loki now " tony said trying to make his voice calm
Hulk nodded giving him to tony then he started to calm down and banner showed again with torn clothes
"Where is loki?" he said panting
"In the next room" Natasha said going to the other room he passed her running to them
"Need any help?" banner asked tony
"Hell yeah take care of the right hand and I'll go with this one"
Banner nodded starting to clean the cuts from the blood and stitching it, after an hour they were done tony crushed on the chair taking his breath and banner went to wear some proper clothes when he returned no one asked him what happened as they knew that this was going to happen waited for anyone to explain
"he really meant it he always does what he want despite anything else " thor said still doesn't believe all of this putting his hand on loki's face removing his hair back away from his eyes
"Was…was he saying the truth?" Clint asked
"Noo…I don't know he never said anything or complained I thought he was happy why he didn't tell me?"
"You fought with him the last time you saw him right? Why?" Steve asked
"It is a long story" Thor sighed
"And we have all the time in the world" tony said sitting down
"alright , it started in my coronation day some of our enemies the frost giants managed to broke into our weapon hall but they were destroyed immediately I was very angry how dare they come to asgard, father told me not to do anything , loki too tried to stop me from going in his own way of course, I managed to convince my friends the three warriors and lady sif to accompany me to avenge their insult it didn't take any effort to convince loki he always goes where I go, after that I knew he ordered a soldier to inform our father, after we reached jotunheim home of the frost giant the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, they were stronger than us I led my friends and brother directly to death one of them got really injured and I didn't even noticed what was happening with loki I left them and continued fighting ,loki took the responsibility of saving them he rescued them from death many times he was this close to die but then we couldn't fight any more their number excel ours, father interfered taking us back to asgard clearly peace between us and them finished I fought with father loki was there too but he looked lost and silent, unusual for him but father and I were really busy fighting it ended with father taking my powers banishing me to here last thing I saw was loki running towards me panicked "
"Then what happened?" tony asked
"What I know that Loki fought with father and father got ill going into odinsleep to recover and Loki became the king, my friends asked him for me to come back but he refused saying it was father last decision and he can't change it"
"Why he refused? I don't get it?" banner asked
"see loki was the one who let frost giant into asgard from the beginning I really don't know why he did it but I think he was convinced that I wasn't ready to become the king so he led them directly into our most important place and it was just the beginning he didn't agree on my banishment but he thought it was good for me to learn a little lesson about responsibility and power " thor said
"So he only wanted to give you a lesson but by the hard way?" Clint said
"Yes I think he did I really learned my lesson "thor confessed
"But something went wrong right?" Natasha asked
"My idea of killing all the frost giant was stupid yes but Loki tried to make it real the difference is that his way was more efficient than mine" Thor said
"One stupid idea and two insane brothers you tried to erase a whole race and failed Loki tried too did he made it? " tony asked shocked by the idea
"in this point loki started to become different, he first visited me here telling me that father is dead till now I don't find an excuse for him saying this, then he send the destroyer to stop me from coming back and ended by him fighting me, he almost lost his mind he was angry about something I noticed it when I came back he was with mother she was trying to calm him down saying to him that father did it for his good only, but loki didn't listen to her and kept saying he should have told me from the beginning, he was hurt and angry and I was on his way " thor sighed
"So you show up in front of an angry man who was almost about to kill an entire race...what did expect from him a hug?" tony smirked
"No he just threw me out of the window" Thor said
"Ooh join the club buddy "tony said" is it a hobby for your brother throwing people from windows" he smirked
"You already know what happened next" Thor sighed
"Something is missing here there no reason for him to let go your hand and fall" Steve said
"You are hiding something don't you?" tony asked
"It won't change anything, it is his secret and he is the only one with the right to reveal it" Thor said firmly
"What? That I'm a monster "loki said
It was another copy of him appeared next to Loki looking at himself
"Loki please you are not a monster how many times I have to say this " Thor said desperately
"Monster or not it really doesn't matter anymore everything is finished"
"What do you mean?" Thor said his voice was shaking
"You can't save him anymore, he is dead maybe his body is still alive but his soul died…. his soul, thoughts, memory they are all gone last time I saw him he could barely remember his name " loki said putting his hand on loki's hair
"What?" Thor asked approaching him
"oh yes , being left in a dark room alone for years only visited by the most people you cared for only that they were hating you remembering you of what you are a filthy runt oh that what Friga always called him when she visited him, no need to say what Odin told him even you, he hated them shouted at them but they don't get bored you know then he cried a lot begging them to stop, he begged to die every single day when I visited him it took me only a few minutes before he cracked screaming and sobbing, so pathetic then in the end he shut up forever, you really should have left him die, you only make him suffer this way he is the only game we have you know "he said laughing and disappeared before thor can get him
"You son of a bitch " tony parked leaving the room he needed a drink he wanted to destroy something anything
At the same time there was thunder and strong sound of something or someone landing on the roof a woman showed up, a beautiful lady with golden hair dressed in asgardian clothes.

Notes