Monster

Bucky returned to my house a few days later just like he promised. He had left quickly the last time he had been there but luckily he followed through on his promise. This time I walked into the kitchen after Steve had left so that I could use the washer in the alcove. I found him sitting at the kitchen table. He had already removed his hoodie and was picking at the healing stitches on his arm. The brace was still on his wrist. His long legs were stretched out over the floor, almost relaxed and comfortable, yet ready to spring into action if he needed to. His hair was still stuffed under the cap but it was messy and his face was dirty.

“Jesus, you scared me,” I said, startled. He looked up at me.

“Sorry,” he replied.

“How long have you been here?”

“Long enough to hear him kiss you.” Then he turned back to his stitches. “I think they’re infected.”

“Let me see it.” I pulled the other chair up and scooted it closer to him. Then I took his arm in my hands as I examined the stitching. “They’re not infected. Just dirty. When was the last time you took a shower?” I looked up at him but he didn’t say anything. “That explains a lot,” I said as I turned back to the stitches. “I’ll go ahead and cut them out and then you can take a shower. I have some salve I can use that will keep the dirt and infection out. When was the last time you ate?” He didn’t answer again so I blew out heavily from my mouth. “I’ll make you something to eat while you shower? How does that sound?”

He still didn’t respond but it looked to me like he hadn’t been offered either of these privileges in a long time. I decided HYDRA probably only gave him these things out of necessity. People had to eat to survive, right? From what Steve told me, they didn’t even seem to view Bucky as human. I went to the drawer to get out my first aid kit. I located the scissors and my tweezers and sat back down beside him.

“They might pull a bit, but it won’t hurt too bad, okay?” I told him. He nodded and looked down at me as I began to remove the stitches from his arm. Within a few minutes they were all out and I ran my finger over the scarring, scabbed skin. “I think this will heal nicely. It will leave a scar but it won’t be too bad. How did it happen, if I can ask? You never actually told me.” I looked up at him and he seemed to have grown more comfortable with eye contact. He was already watching me. Though with narrowed eyes.

“They cornered me in an alley and told me to give them money. I didn’t have any. They had a knife,” he explained.

“But you didn’t kill them?”

“I wanted to kill them. But I didn’t.” I gave him a smile.

“You didn’t hurt them too bad, did you?” He seemed to study my smile for a moment before answering.

“They’ll live to rob someone else.”

“Good. How’s your wrist?”

“Better.”

“Any swelling or bruising?”

“No.”

“I want you to keep wearing the brace for at least the rest of the month. I know you heal faster but since I couldn’t get you in for x-rays I want to be one hundred percent sure it’s healing properly.”

“Okay.”

“Alright, follow me and I’ll show you the shower.”

I stood up and he followed after me quietly. I didn’t look back until I reached the upstairs hall closet. I wanted him to see that I felt safe with him. I couldn’t hear him at all and part of me wondered if he’d run off when I turned my back on him. But when I reached the closet and turned to face him he was still there looking over my house. I pulled a towel and a few other things out of the closet and opened the bathroom door to let him in.

“I’ll find you some clothes while you’re busy,” I told him. “They’ll have to do until I can get these washed for you. And I have a spare bedroom… in case you need a place to sleep.” I glanced at him but he didn’t answer. “So this is the shower,” I said, standing beside it. “That way is hot. That way is cold. Soap over there.” I pointed and then draped the washrag over the spout. “Washrag. That’s shampoo and conditioner stuff right there. Here’s a new toothbrush. I buy them I bulk. And I have a comb somewhere.”

I sat the toothbrush down on the edge of the tub and reached into a drawer under the sink to find a spare comb. I stuck it on the counter and returned my eyes to him. I offered him another warm smile.

“You probably need to shave too. If you want to. Steve left his razor in the downstairs bathroom if you want to use it. I’m sure he won’t mind. I’ll go find you some clothes and leave them on the counter for you. Then I’ll be downstairs if you need me. Also, take the brace off while you’re showering. But be careful with your wrist.”

I turned to leave the bathroom and I could see him watch me go. He spoke when I reached the hallway and turned to close the door.

“Thank you,” he said quietly. He had said it to me once before but it had never felt genuine. The words seemed foreign on his lips. Like he wasn’t used to speaking at all, let alone expressing gratitude. I was certain he didn’t have a lot to be thankful for anymore. At least not recently. So I nodded.

“You’re welcome, Bucky,” I said. Then I shut the door to give him privacy.

Notes

Um... things to say? Nothing really. Bucky's gonna get nude. I saw the new X-Men movie today. That's about it.

*Edited*