Monster

Steve was really angry. And not in a sense that he was raving and ranting and storming and throwing things. That was the kind of anger I was used to. I even expected it. But instead he was pacing through my kitchen as I sat at the table with a cup of tea. He didn’t speak, but his jaw as tight and he didn’t look happy about the fact that HYDRA had blown up my car.

“They know,” he finally said. I nodded and took a sip of tea.

“I gathered that much,” I replied.

“I think you should go stay with Stark.” My eyebrows rose and I looked up at him.

“No, I’m not going to stay with Stark. I’m staying right here. This is my home.”

“They blew up your car, Jo. You think they’re going to stop there?”

“No, of course not. But there’s a reason they did what they did. You need to calm down and think about this a little more logically.”

“I am thinking about it logically.”

“No, you’re not. The guy knew I wasn’t in the car. He left me there. He wanted me to see that he blew up my car. And to be honest it was my fault in the first place. I was the one who showed up. I should have known that HYDRA or even the government would be watching Sam. It was different when he came to see me at the diner. I shouldn’t have gone to the stupid meeting.”

“It doesn’t matter if you went or not. They would have come after you eventually. They didn’t kill you because they were sending a message. Killing you would have set Bucky off into a rampage. He’s too dangerous to them if you’re dead. But they want you to know that they know what you’re doing. This was a warning. They’re going to come back for him and neither of you are safe here.”

“We are safe here because Stark has this place wired from front to back. He told me he even scans for interference. Someone sets foot in my house and he knows about it. I get scared of a damn spider in my bathtub and he knows about it. Someone sticks a single piece of surveillance equipment on any wall and Stark will know. Don’t under estimate him. He’s an asshole but he’s a damn brilliant one.” He sighed and leaned against the counter.

“Bucky’s not going to come back if they’re watching you.” I sat my mug back down on the table and watched the steam swirl from the top.

“He’s not going to come back if I’m with Stark either, Steve. We have to do what we can.”

“I don’t want you to put your life at risk.”

“Like I said, I’m not doing it for you.” I looked up at him and he gave me a stern expression before turning his eyes on the fridge and crossing his arms.

“I can’t let you put your life in danger for him either.”

“Goddamn it, Steve, I’m not a fucking fairy princess, okay?” I was starting to get irritated and he turned to look at me with mild shock. “I know that’s what you wanted me to be but you must not have read my file thoroughly enough before giving me the job. Unless you just gave it to me because I happened to be in the building at the same time as you.”

“That was part of the reason.” I gave a frustrated laugh.

“Well I’m not going to back down, okay? Call me stubborn if that’s what you want. But stop treating me like a delicate flower. I played that part for you but I’m not a goddamn fairy princess. I’m a soldier. And I was a damn good one at that. I may not be able to shoot a gun but I can use a knife and I know how to take a man out using my elbow and thumb, okay? I knew I wasn’t a match for Bucky and that’s why I didn’t say anything then. But let HYDRA bring me their best guys. All the big guys got arrested. And I’d love to get my hands on whoever’s left.” He nodded and turned his head toward the linoleum.

“I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you because I put you in this situation,” he said. I stood up and walked around the side of the table.

“You know what Sam said to me the other day? When he came to see me at the diner?” I asked him. I didn’t wait for him to answer. “He said that some people thrive on battle. That they miss it. He said that’s why you and him and Natasha continue to fight for what you think is right. Maybe I’m like that too. Maybe I’m not cut out for the domestic life and waitressing and living in a warm fuzzy house. Maybe I want to do something with my life. And what I want to do is help take down HYDRA and keep them from getting their hands on Sergeant James Barnes. So I need you to back me. Don’t treat me like the fairy princess you built me to be. Treat me as your equal and a fellow soldier. And a friend.” He looked up at me when I said those words. He had the look of a reprimanded puppy dog on his face. But then he nodded.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to get hurt and I underestimated you. I have your back. 100%.” I turned to head toward the hallway when I remembered something Steve told me about Bucky. Something Bucky had said long ago when they were still brothers. Something Steve had said to him when they were fighting on that helicarrier. I paused at the door and turned my head.

“Till the end of the line?” I asked him. I saw him freeze from the corner of my eye. He knew I wasn’t asking for my own sake. But for Bucky. Because this was my fight too whether he liked it or not and I needed to remind him of the purpose for all of it. It wasn’t me or Steve or HYDRA or anything else. It was Bucky. He opened his mouth to speak and his voice was sad.

“Always,” he said. Then I nodded and turned to head upstairs.

Notes

So my beta/husband pointed out something to me that I want to elaborate on. He said that Steve is different in this story. And he said it's not a bad thing because of everything Steve is going through. And I want to point out THAT'S THE INTENDED PURPOSE. In Steve's story (which I think I'm slowly grasping and building) he will be much more like the Steve you see in the movies. This is not only after the events in Winter Soldier where he's going through a lot of shit, but he's also going through the shit in MY universe, which will be explained in his story. So Steve is not acting like himself on purpose. Not his purpose, my purpose. I hope that makes sense.

Also, this chapter is Bucky-less but it's important for the overall plot. Jo has a lot of fight in her. It's just dormant through most of this story.

And Bucky will be back soon. No worries.