Choices

Chapter 120
Loki tapped the binding of his newest book. He resisted the urge to look up in curiosity. His mother hadn't visited all day and he couldn't help but wonder why.
She was not the type to be late. There was a deep spot inside him that wondered if she'd begun to give up on him. Perhaps he was becoming a burden. Who wanted to spend their days visiting a criminal.
Still, he hoped that she would come. His only entertainment in an otherwise quiet life.
Admittedly, he hasn't expected to still be in this cell. It would seem Odin was hellbent on keeping his word. Loki was not going to get anything accomplished locked away in this cell, and yet he wasn't prepared to grovel at Odin's feet.
Loki uncrossed his feet at the ankles and crossed them the opposite way. Shifting in his semi discomfort, he tried to focus back on his book and found himself unable to.
He snapped the book closed and tossed it down on the table beside him.
"I've never known you to just throw your books around," the voice sent a longing thrill through his body.
Loki turned to observe Cephera on the far side of the cell. His eyes saw her for only an instant before falling to the child in her arms. He was swaddled at only two weeks old, and just as Frigga had said, he was a bigger baby.
Loki felt every breath he took as if it would be his last. His heart pounding in an erratic rhythm. He was both excited and terrified.
It was Cephera who came closer to him when he failed to move. He could see Ikol closer now. The small wisps of jet black hair he'd heard about easily set off against his pale skin. He was awake, those familiar violet eyes cast upward to stare at him.
There was a strange familiarity to the child, one he assumed was Cephera being his mother, but somehow he felt that wasn't quite right.
Instinctively, Loki reached out but his hands found air instead of his wife and child. He should have known better, but he hadn't been thinking clearly.
Loki remembered for a moment his vow to himself and warning to her that he would not show her any love or kindness until he fixed the mess he'd made regarding Thanos.
He'd taken a chance telling her that one time they'd had privacy, but it had been so long since he'd seen her that he pushed that to the back of his mind. If Thanos' lackeys were using magic to view things through Loki's mind they must be truly bored.
"I wish I could hold you," he told her. He knew his mother was likely somewhere nearby, but he couldn't see her. For now he ignored that.
"I wish you could hold him," Cephera looked to Ikol and then back to Loki.
"Hela grew so fast, we didn't get to enjoy her baby years." The memory just made things seem like a lifetime ago.
"She was never your normal baby anyway." Cephera assured him.
"I wish things could change so that I could be around to see him grow." Loki was pained by the thought of missing much more than he already had.
"Don't talk that way. Nothing is absolute but death." Cephera urged.
"Still hanging to that small hope that even if I should be free of this cell, that we will find a happy quiet life?" He sighed. "I wish I shared your sentiment."
"We've persevered through many things my love, this is no different. Through the time you are in here I will make sure that Ikol knows of his father. The man I know and love."
Loki wasn't sure if she'd said it that way to make it clear she viewed Loki as the father, or the fact that Loki wasn't quite the damaged man he sometimes pretended to be. It was odd, Loki felt as if his wife wanted to say more, but had yet to hint as to what.
"Krystoff is dead," she said.
"Are you sure?" Loki asked, skeptical.
"Yes, my father oversaw the execution himself. The story that lead to his demise is a long one, but I look forward to telling you another time. A time I can lay in your arms in private."
He watched her cheeks turn pink from her hint of intimacy. It was proof that Frigga must be nearby.
"I made a new friend. Her name is Suvia, she's from Asgard. She'd been living on Midgard for a long time. She's recently returned to Asgard. She was kind to me, helped me during my pregnancy. If you meet her, know that she is very dear to me." Loki nodded finding the revelation almost awkward and shrouded in oddity.
He still had a strange sense that Cephera was hiding something. It worried him.
"Is there more?" He asked eyeballing her in a way she'd know he was suspicious.
"Nothing I can speak of here, or now." She replied. He didn't enjoy the cryptic nature of her words, but to be fair he hadn't told her everything. He'd asked her to trust him, and she did so he would trust her.
"The mortals have been treating you kindly?" He would kill them if they weren't.
"Very much so." She smiled wide. She was happy at least with that aspect of her life. He used to make her smile that way once. A pang of jealously struck him and he pushed it aside.
He wouldn't be jealous over a few insignificant mortals.
"Tony was strange to handle at first, but I'm used to him now. He's actually very nice once you get passed his invasive nature." Loki clenched his teeth.
Why had Thor put her with Stark of all people? He could only imagine the things he'd said to Cephera, not to mention the questions he probably asked. The thought unsettled him more than it should.
She deserved better.
Loki decided he needed to get off this topic. "Ikol, clever name," he grinned. She smiled as well with a hint of amusement. Her underlining secret was driving him crazy. "He is healthy?"
"Very much so. He's quite the eater as well. He'll grow strong and fat soon enough." She laughed.
Loki smiled.
He wanted to touch her so badly it ached. He had to be thankful for having this moment with her. "How much longer do you have?" He asked.
"Not long. 5, 10 minutes." She sighed. "I'm just happy I got to see you. Your hair is getting long." She scrunched up her nose.
"You don't like it?" He chuckled.
"You know I'm not fond of it. Though I'd never seen you grow it this long. I never knew you had waves." She laughed. "But I guess I've been so used to you having short hair, that hair this long looks weird. It's like that one time you tried to grow a bread." She screwed up her face once more in great distaste.
Loki laughed loudly. "You said it felt like sandpaper on your thighs. It barely reached a proper length." He watched her face turn scarlet and remembered then that Frigga was with her somewhere.
"Your hair was odd enough when you first came home, this length is almost too much." She continued on, trying to fight her embarrassment.
"If I am ever free from this place, I will cut it." He promised her. It wasn't like he was attached to his long locks. He simply didn't care much for cutting it while in prison.
"If you like it...," she began in protest but he shook his head.
"It matters not to me." He assured her. He would not ask her to change anymore than she would ask him. He knew her dislike of his hair length was not something she expected him to change just to appease her.
"I love you. Never doubt that." Cephera told him. She turned to look at someone he could not see, most likely Frigga. "I must go," she frowned.
"Don't fret my darling. If the fates are kind, we will be reunited in the flesh some day." She nodded. Loki took one last look at the baby, and wondered for a moment who his father might be. He would find him and kill him one day.
He may have accepted Ikol as his own, but out there was still the man who defiled his wife with cruel games. He would make them pay for that.
"I love you," Loki whispered it low, so that only Cephera could here it.
She smiled and her image faded away.
(Cephera)
"That was amazing and yet sad." Cephera told the queen. Her heart was soaring to have seen him, but the ache lived within her to be held by him. To kiss him. To see him hold Ikol and get to know him. She had to stay strong, the future would not abandon them yet.
"I can only image what this has been like for you. I wish your time with him could have been longer, but I don't wish to test my husband's patience. He may not allow it again otherwise." Frigga embraced Cephera.
"I'm headed back to Earth, should I expect you next month?" Cephera asked.
"Of course," Frigga smiled.
Cephera departed from the chambers, not needing an escort. She knew the palace well and the Queen had other things she needed to do.
Cephera walked the halls that were once her home and remembered all the memories those walls held. There was sadness in her heart, but at least she had an extra ounce of happiness mixed in.
It was good to see her husband, considering she hadn't expected to see him at all anytime soon.
"Princess?" Odin's advisor Tyr was standing at the end of the main hall, a shocked expression on his face. "I was unaware you've been allowed back to Asgard." His tone seemed awkward as he approached her.
"I'm not. I was allowed a brief moment to visit with the Queen. I'm heading home now." She replied setting a sweet smile on her face. She never liked Tyr. He'd rubbed her the wrong way on more than one occasion.
"I see. I hadn't heard of your arrival, though I did hear of the events in Mechanova. I suppose a congratulations is in order. Your family is finally free of its biggest enemy." He gave a respectful gesture.
"Death is by no means something to be congratulated over. What happened to the Fevours is tragic. All life should be cherished, though I understand that sometimes death is the only way to end further slaughter." She squared her shoulders and held her posture straight.
"If course you're right." He paused and his eyes fell to Ikol. "The baby looks healthy and happy. You must be proud." He grinned, she didn't like it. It made her uneasy.
"Very much so," she replied.
"You look good. I'm glad your time on Earth hasn't weakened your spirit. Your situation is sad to say the least." She resisted the urge to glare.
"As Odin's advisor any good word put to him about my husband would be much appreciated. House arrest even." Cephera highly doubted Tyr would have anything good to say on Loki's behalf, but she had to try.
"Odin has his mind made up." Tyr's response was cold. "He looked back down to the baby once more. "May I?" He asked holding his wrinkled hands out to pick up the infant.
Not wanting to be rude, Cephera handed over Ikol. "Be careful with him." She warned in a motherly fashion.
"He must look like his father," Tyr knew full well the father was not Loki, so his comment irked her.
"Of course. Every Mechanovian baby takes after their non-Mechanovian genetics." She said as a matter-of-factly.
Tyr smiled and then his smile faded. He titled his head for a moment to look at her before a dark look crossed his face. Uncomfortable with the change, Cephera quickly took Ikol back. "I have to get back to Midgard," she said. Tyr stepped out of her way and Cephera took off while she could.

Notes