It’s a stormy Wednesday. Traffic is hell due to two different accidents, miles apart. I swear people forget how to drive when it starts raining even the lightest rain possible. Traffic like this makes me wish I didn’t quit smoking; I could use something to calm my nerves. Music isn’t cutting it much this time.

I get to the VA an hour late. I get out of my car and quickly sprint to the building, clutching tightly to my umbrella so the wind doesn’t send it finally to Oz.

“Hey Erin,” Maggie smiles as I walk into the building the building, drenched from rain despite my umbrella. “Captain Rogers is in your office, said you wanted to see him before your session with Sergeant Barnes.”

“Thank you Maggie.” I smile as I walk down the hall towards my office. Once I near the door, I hear music playing. I walk into the room and see Steve going through my iPod, surprisingly.

“I’m surprised you know how to work that,” I say, making my presence known.

“I don’t have to have the technology skills of Tony Stark to know how to work this.” He laughs as he puts it back on my desk. “Some of this music isn’t so bad, actually.”

“Shocker huh?” I laugh, “what brings you here so early Steve?”

“I’ve got that list for you,” he says, handing me over a manilla folder. I open it up and see a several lists of James’ favorite things; favorite places to eat, dance, drink. “Most of those places are probably closed but I wanted to give you an idea of what he was like before going off to war.”

I read over the list and he’s right; most of these places are closed. The delis, however, are still opened. Some of these places were my favorite places to eat and study when I was in college.

“The diners and delis are still opened but the bars and lounges are long gone.” I tell him. “Some of these delis are favorite places to eat in New York.”

“You’ve been there?”

“Lived there while attending college,” I reply with a smile. “I’ve lived in Brooklyn for the longest time before moving down here for work. These delis have truly stood the test of time.”

“Hopefully you can find a few places like this here in D.C,” he smiles. “It would be nice to walk down memory lane.”

“I’m sure I can find a few places like these,” I assure Steve. “Don’t worry, I’m not giving up on him without a fight.”

“Thank Erin.” Steve says before walking out of the office, closing the door behind him.

**

“How are you this afternoon James?” I ask as the soldier walks into the office.

“Good I guess,” he replies in a low voice as he takes his usual seat.

“You made progress yesterday,” I remind him, “let’s not go back to short answers followed by not talking at all.”

“What do you get out of this?” He asks, “why do you care so much about how I am?”

“I care about people and I don’t expect to get anything out of this,” I assure him, “you’re not just a patient James and I’ll never treat you like one. I can be the friend you turn to when you’ve got no one else to talk to. I don’t wish to gain knowledge that you might be hiding or anything like that.”

He looks at me, eyes narrowing as he scans from face to see if I’m lying. Thankfully the years I spent with Natasha pays off… he believes me. Then again, it’s not a total lie. I do care about him, I’ve got a big heart.

“Captain Rogers really wants me to get my memories back, huh?”

“He wants his friend back sure,” I reply, “but he also wants you to be ok. Hydra really did a number on your mind. I’m just here to see if I can break you away from the programming without any drastic moves.”

“And can you?”

“It’s too early in the game to know,” I look at him in thought then smile, “but I’ve got hope.”

“Why did you turn to this career choice?”

“I thought this session was about you?” I chuckle.

“Do you want me to trust you?”

“Sure.”

“Then you’ll answer my questions.” His tone is cold and harsh.

“Fine, ask away.” I lean back in my chair, eyes never leaving his face.

“Are you always this optimistic about the soldiers you care for?” He asks.

“Yes, I believe there is good in anyone, especially the soldiers that have laid their necks on the line to keep us safe.”

“And what about me?” He asks, “I’m assuming you know everything about me; what I did months ago. Why are you helping me? There is no good left in me.” His voice raises with each word, each syllable. But that doesn’t scare me, either does the dangerous look in his eyes.

“There is, you just don’t see it yet.” I calmly say. “We’ll get you back James Buchanan Barnes; just wait and see. You’ll be able to live with that you have done and you’ll be able to move on by the time I’m done with you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I’m not going to give up.” I reassure him, “and neither are you.”

“I don’t scare you?” He asks, looking at me; eyes never leaving mine.

“I’ve dealt with scarier,” a humorless chuckle escapes my lips as I sit up straight. “You’re not so scary…”

Notes

Erin

Is it just me or do you hate fics that make Steve to seem like the technology challenged guy? He's smart guys. Just because he's been asleep for seventy years doesn't mean he's not going to pick up on modern technology. ha. sorry for the mini rant.

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also check out October & April by The Rasmus. I think this really fits Erin and James (I won't use Bucky until he gets his memories back, just warning ya)