Good Man
Cause He's Only Nice, When There's Somebody There
”Come here you fuckin’ bitch!” Ben yells grabbing me by my arm, pulling me back towards him. I hear the sickening “pop” coming from my arm followed by immediate pain.”Where the hell do you think you’re going? Off to have sex with that black bastard you’re friends with?”
“Ben get off of me!” I scream as his grip around my tightens. “Sam and I are just friends. I helped him out after he got out of the military, that’s it. I love you, not him.”
“Like i’ll believe you,” he scoffs, “you’re a master liar Erin. I can never believe a thing you say.”
“I. Love. You.” I hiss at him, “if you weren’t such a drunken asshole you’d fucking see that.” Crack. The echo the the slap across my face fills the house. “You’re pathetic you know that? I thought I’d be able to save you from yourself. But there is nothing good left in you; even your momma see that now.”
His eyes go completely black. His hand that’s around my wrist drops and both hands ball up into tight fists. I try to move but I’m like a deer caught in the headlights; froze with fear. I know exactly what he’s going to do, but I can’t move.
“You’re going to fucking pay for that you fucking cunt,” he screams, “never bring my momma into this. I’m not pathetic, you are. You’re a good for nothing whore, that’s all you ever will be. Nothing but a good la---” before he can finish his sentence, I find some nerve and I punch him. He stumbles backwards but regains composure quickly. I turn around and dart towards the door, but before I can make it out, Ben grabs me and slams me hard up against the brick walls of our townhouse.
“You’re going to regret all those words you ever said to me Erin.” Ben smirks, “you’ll regret them…”
I wake up, hearing myself screaming. My heart pounds against my chest as a cold sweat spills down my back. My hands are shaking and I can feel tears flowing from my eyes. This is the first time, in a long time, I had that dream. I don’t know where it came from but all I know, it still has the power to scare me.
After I calm down, I get out of bed; grabbing my slippers and putting them on. I walk over to my closet and grab my Marines hoodie before going downstairs. I grab my car keys and head outside; locking up. I don’t know what time it is, and honestly I don’t care. I think it’s time to talk to someone about my dream…
**
“Do you have an idea what brought on the dream?” Sam asks as we wait for the coffee to finish. “Do you think this has something to do with James? Because if so I can tell Steve it’s not going to work out.”
“No!” I quickly exclaim, “James has nothing to do with this. Not totally. I think working with him is making me realize something.”
“And what’s that?”
“I help soldiers face their PTSD but I haven’t been facing mine.” I admit out loud for the first time. “I’ve been doing the very thing I suggest they don’t do, suppress the memories, the anger; everything. Ben fucked me up in every sense of the word, Sam. I haven’t gone to therapy, I haven’t talked about it since it happened. I think that’s what my dreams are telling me; I need to talk about it.”
“You know you can always talk to me, right?”
“Why do you think I came here at 4 in the morning?” I chuckle, “I just don’t want you to blame yourself. Ben hated you, and I don’t want you to think you’re the reason for this.”
“Ben was sick in the head,” Sam says not in a cold way, “no matter what, he would have done that to you. He just throw me around because we were close friends; are close friends.”
“I thought I could help him,” I state, “I really thought I could bring back the person he was before the war. But even his own mama gave up on him.”
“Your faith gets you in trouble sometimes.”
“Malcolm said that same thing.” A small laugh escapes, “I don’t know, James seems different than Ben. Like I can actually help him.”
“So what are you going to do tomorrow in order to help him?”
“I think it’s time to bring Brooklyn to the country’s capital.” I smile as I begin to think of things to make D.C feel more like home…
“Ben get off of me!” I scream as his grip around my tightens. “Sam and I are just friends. I helped him out after he got out of the military, that’s it. I love you, not him.”
“Like i’ll believe you,” he scoffs, “you’re a master liar Erin. I can never believe a thing you say.”
“I. Love. You.” I hiss at him, “if you weren’t such a drunken asshole you’d fucking see that.” Crack. The echo the the slap across my face fills the house. “You’re pathetic you know that? I thought I’d be able to save you from yourself. But there is nothing good left in you; even your momma see that now.”
His eyes go completely black. His hand that’s around my wrist drops and both hands ball up into tight fists. I try to move but I’m like a deer caught in the headlights; froze with fear. I know exactly what he’s going to do, but I can’t move.
“You’re going to fucking pay for that you fucking cunt,” he screams, “never bring my momma into this. I’m not pathetic, you are. You’re a good for nothing whore, that’s all you ever will be. Nothing but a good la---” before he can finish his sentence, I find some nerve and I punch him. He stumbles backwards but regains composure quickly. I turn around and dart towards the door, but before I can make it out, Ben grabs me and slams me hard up against the brick walls of our townhouse.
“You’re going to regret all those words you ever said to me Erin.” Ben smirks, “you’ll regret them…”
I wake up, hearing myself screaming. My heart pounds against my chest as a cold sweat spills down my back. My hands are shaking and I can feel tears flowing from my eyes. This is the first time, in a long time, I had that dream. I don’t know where it came from but all I know, it still has the power to scare me.
After I calm down, I get out of bed; grabbing my slippers and putting them on. I walk over to my closet and grab my Marines hoodie before going downstairs. I grab my car keys and head outside; locking up. I don’t know what time it is, and honestly I don’t care. I think it’s time to talk to someone about my dream…
**
“Do you have an idea what brought on the dream?” Sam asks as we wait for the coffee to finish. “Do you think this has something to do with James? Because if so I can tell Steve it’s not going to work out.”
“No!” I quickly exclaim, “James has nothing to do with this. Not totally. I think working with him is making me realize something.”
“And what’s that?”
“I help soldiers face their PTSD but I haven’t been facing mine.” I admit out loud for the first time. “I’ve been doing the very thing I suggest they don’t do, suppress the memories, the anger; everything. Ben fucked me up in every sense of the word, Sam. I haven’t gone to therapy, I haven’t talked about it since it happened. I think that’s what my dreams are telling me; I need to talk about it.”
“You know you can always talk to me, right?”
“Why do you think I came here at 4 in the morning?” I chuckle, “I just don’t want you to blame yourself. Ben hated you, and I don’t want you to think you’re the reason for this.”
“Ben was sick in the head,” Sam says not in a cold way, “no matter what, he would have done that to you. He just throw me around because we were close friends; are close friends.”
“I thought I could help him,” I state, “I really thought I could bring back the person he was before the war. But even his own mama gave up on him.”
“Your faith gets you in trouble sometimes.”
“Malcolm said that same thing.” A small laugh escapes, “I don’t know, James seems different than Ben. Like I can actually help him.”
“So what are you going to do tomorrow in order to help him?”
“I think it’s time to bring Brooklyn to the country’s capital.” I smile as I begin to think of things to make D.C feel more like home…
Notes
ErinSam and Erin are BFFs. Next chapter is going to hopefully be cute. James and Erin bonding time over New York style deli food.
This whole thing with Ben will lead somewhere with both Erin and James. Bonds will form because of it.
I really like Erin's voice and personality as well as your writing style. This is my new favorite thing on this site! I was honestly expecting a little romance, but if there isn't any that's ok too. Romance has been overdone anyway. ;) Keep at it!
5/28/14