Love The One You're (NOT) With

“LOKI! AHHHH!” Thor growls as his hot seed pumps forth from his dick. Sif’s eyes go wide with shock.

“What?” Sif stares at Thor as he slowly realizes what he has done. He called out his own brother’s name while climaxing with a woman, and not just any woman, The Lady Sif (his assumed future wife as far as the rest of Asgard is concerned). Sif shoves Thor off of her and leaps off the bed in anger.

“You were thinking of Loki? You were thinking of Loki while you were….” Sif can’t bring herself to finish the sentence. She doesn’t need to. The implication hangs in the air like a parachute, with reality and truth crashing to the ground with rapid speed. Thor can only stand there and stare at Sif dumbstruck. All the years of careful secrecy and control have been exposed in a single thoughtless moment of pleasure. All these centuries of rutting with faceless maidens while imagining it was his brother beneath him, loving him, pleasuring him, begging Thor to take him. All these years of lying with Sif and trying to cultivate a romantic love for a beautiful woman who is the embodiment of the perfect future queen. But Thor doesn’t want Sif or any other woman. It is his brother he longs for. It is his shame and his secret that he has kept from everyone for a very long time.

Sif quickly grabs her clothes and dresses as the hot tears start to stream down her face. She is humiliated beyond belief, not to mention disgusted. Her Prince, her friend, her lover is attracted to a man, and not just any man, his own brother! If Thor simply had an expression of embarrassment on his face she could chalk this up to a simple misunderstanding or some awkward weird moment that Thor could explain away later. But Thor’s face does not show embarrassment, it shows fear. Sheer unadulterated fear and vulnerability from a deep seated truth finally being revealed. How could she have been so blind?

“Sif, please! Allow me to explain…” Thor stutters in desperation.

“Explain what?!” Sif shouts at him. “Explain how you imagined you were fucking your own brother while fucking me? Explain to me how long you have felt this way. I’ve seen the way you look at him, but I’ve ignored it, ignored my instincts all these years by telling myself it was just brotherly affection. When were you going to tell me Thor? Huh? Before or after we were wed? Or before or after I became swollen with your children, perhaps? Or were you going to just leave it all to chance when I finally walked in on the two of you together in our marriage bed. Our marriage bed. All these years you gave me a hope. A false belief that you love me and that I would become your wife. All these years I’ve wasted my love and affection on you when I could have been looking elsewhere.” Sif turns to leave Thor’s bedchambers having finished dressing while yelling at Thor.

“Sif please wait…”

“NO THOR! I will not waste one more second of my life, not one more second, on you!” Sif growls and then storms out of the room.

Thor stands there naked, staring after the space Sif had just occupied uncertain of what to do. Is Sif going to tell everyone his secret? Is she going to tell Loki? Oh dear Gods! Loki! When Loki gets wind of this, what will be his response? Loki, with his lithe alabaster body, long raven hair, and green eyes that tell of mischief and a tongue with skills that Thor has only been able to fantasize about. His brilliance, cunning, and wit make him more alluring than any maiden in the realm. He isn’t the most powerful man in the sparing arena, but he is the most graceful. Even when Loki loses he loses with style. His nimble body and fluid movements in the arena this morning had made it extremely difficult for Thor to hide his arousal.

The rain from the night before had left the arena muddy and everyone (except Sif) had gone shirtless to reduce the amount of mess and clean up after. Thor had to force himself to take his eyes off of Loki’s beautifully carved chest and well chiseled arms. He looked so small and thin compared to all the other men, but that was part of the appeal for Thor. Loki is lithe were others are bulky. Loki had done some tumbling on the ground to avoid a blow and when he came back up he was soaked from head to toe with brown water cascading down his body. His wet hair whipped around his face as he moved like a ballerina. Loki is always so clean and precise when it comes to his appearance. Seeing him in such a raw, animalistic, and disheveled state this morning had nearly made Thor come. It was all he could think about as Sif lay beneath him.
Thor sat back down onto the bed with his head in his hands. He had wronged Sif. He deserved her anger. He had toyed with her emotions and played with her heart all in an effort to convince himself that he did not need the romantic love of his brother to be happy. Thor had tried in vain to force himself to fall in love with a woman. Someone proper and approved of by his parents. Thor looks out the window into the darkness of the night sky, uncertain of what will come with the dawn.
*********

Loki chews his breakfast as he looks across the breakfast table at his brother. Thor has avoided eye contact with him during the entire meal. Something is going on, Loki is sure of it.

“Loki dear, will you walk with me in the gardens after breakfast? There is a new tree I want to show you. It’s imported from Jotunheim. I hear tale the blossoms are very fragrant.”

“Jotunheim? How would a tree from such a climate fare in our realm? Isn’t Asgard too warm for anything from Jotunheim?” Loki asks mildly curious.

“We have ways of making transplants from Jotunheim comfortable.” Frigga says with a gleam in her eye. Loki eyes his mother for a moment. He can’t help but feel he missed out on some inside joke there. Oh well, no matter. Loki has more important things to worry about, like why Thor won’t look him in the eye.

“Brother. Are you well? You are quieter than normal this morning. What happened? Poor performance with your paramour last night?” Loki grins a mischievous smile. Thor’s blood freezes in his veins.

“Loki! Such talk at the breakfast table.” Frigga chides him.

“I’m sorry mother, you are right. I… By the Norns Thor you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Loki regards his brother for a moment. Thor looks pale, if that is possible, and he looks like he is about to vomit.

“I guessed correctly, didn’t I?” Loki laughs out loud when Thor looks at him with what Loki believes to be embarrassment.

“I feel ill, I must leave.” Thor gets up and marches out.

“Wait Thor! Come back! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you so. It happens to everyone from time to time….” Loki calls after Thor as he bolts down the hall to his bedchambers. Loki turns back to Frigga and tries to hide his smile behind his napkin.

“I wonder what that was all about.” Frigga says.
***********

Loki arrives that the sparing arena and sneers. It is still muddy, only today the mud is thick. There are no large puddles of water left and the thought of trying to spar while the suction of the mud on his feet slows him down leaves Loki feeling annoyed. Training must occur in all weather conditions, as Sif would say. Where the hell is Sif? She’s never late.

Loki looks around and sees the Warriors Three. He approaches them with a smile on his, but it falters when he notices a somber mood among his friends.

“Is something the matter?” Loki realizes something is definitely going on. Everyone is acting so strangely today. Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun all turn to him in unison. They all share a knowing look in their eyes and Loki immediately feels insecure and suspicious.

“Thor and Sif had a fight last night.” Hogun said grimly.

“Oh? Is that why he was acting so strangely at breakfast this morning? Loki asks mostly to himself. The others don’t answer him either. They just exchange more knowing looks.

“Do you know what the fight was about?” Loki’s curiousity is peaked now. Fandral shakes his head but he suspects it is not because he doesn’t know.

“Well then, I should go find Thor, and see if I can’t cheer him up a bit. Maybe give him some advice if it’s warranted.” Loki turns to leave.

“No…” Fandral says quickly. “I would not do that if I were you.” His hurried response is telling. The fight Thor and Sif had, had been about Loki, but why?

“What is going on? The three of you know something. I can sense it. None of you are very good liars. Tell me. What was the fight about?” Loki says with genuine concern displayed on his face.

“It is not our place to say lad.” Says Volstagg.

“Fine!” Loki says before turning and storming out of the arena to find his brother. Loki makes his way up the dirt path towards the center of town before turning towards the palace. What the hell is going on? And why is Loki the last to know among the group. Loki is Thor’s brother. He should be privy to any secrets before any of the others. Why is he the last to know, and why won’t they share their information with him? Loki is lost in thought as he walks past the guard station and almost misses her.

Sif is hiding in the shadows watching him, and avoiding him. Today is not her lucky day, however. If the fight was in fact about Loki, then it would be Sif that had the quarrel with Thor over something Loki had done, or is feared to do in the future. Loki decides it is best to confront her directly.

“My Prince.” Lady Sif bites out.

“My Lady.” Loki states simply. “Apparently you and Thor had a fight last night, though our friends will not tell me the details. Based on everyone’s behavior I can only assume that I was the subject matter. Pray tell me, have I done something to offend you lately?” Loki asks almost jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Lately, huh.” Sif scoffs and looks away with her arms crossed. Loki eyes her warily. He has not done anything lately that he is aware of to cause this ire. He has not plotted any jokes or plotted any embarrassing schemes or lied about anything of consequence. Loki is genuinely at a loss for the source of this anger and hatred.

“Sif, please. Tell me what is wrong. Have I wronged you somehow? Has some old lie I told in the past finally caught up with me? Whatever the wrong is, please let me make amends. I can tell that whatever it is, it must be important. Fandral never keeps anything from me.”
Sif measures Loki for a long time, her eyes searching his face, his body language for signs of insincerity. He can tell she is trying to decide if she wants to tell him or not.

“Not here.” Sif says gruffly.

They walk in silence to Loki’s chambers. It is the closest location that they both know of to have a private conversation. Loki’s heart is beating in his chest. Something is seriously wrong.
They walk into Loki’s rooms and he shuts the doors behind them. He spins to look at her.

“Tell me something Loki. Have you ever been in love?” Sif asks him without the hint of a smile.

“What?” Loki says quietly.

“Have you ever been in love?” Sif repeats in a dead serious tone.

“No, Sif I can’t say that I have. I thought I was in love once, but she just wanted me for my title.
But you already know about that. Why are you bringing it up now? Loki looks at Sif with hurt in his eyes. Why is she mocking his pain?

“No one else? You’ve never been in love with anyone else?” Sif moves in close to Loki as she asks him, still not smiling. Loki’s mind is reeling, trying to understand the meaning behind Sif’s words. Her close proximity makes him draw the wrong conclusion.

“Sif, I am sorry but I do not feel that way about you. Had I known I might have made a move sooner but you’ve never given me reason to. Besides, my brother loves you and…..” Loki breaks off at the sound of Sif’s laughter.

“….ah, haha, ah….(sniff). It is not me Thor is in love with Loki, it is you! He cried out your name in bed last night.”

Notes