To Be Reborn The Butterfly

Loki wakes the next day and finishes cleaning up her room. She can’t really remember the details of the dream, only that she felt abandoned and alone. Steve and Natasha have work to do at SHIELD today and will not be home. Tony has some boring board meeting that Pepper is dragging him to so it falls to Bruce to watch her. She joins him in the R&D lab and learns about all the science equipment and what they do and what Bruce is researching. He’s studying a new enzyme that might cure cancer. It is in the early stages of development. However, after a while she starts to feel like a third wheel and struggles to find a way to keep herself busy. Then she remembers Tony’s request.
“Bruce, can Jarvis assist me with translating my books into English?”
“I don’t see why not?
“Excellent! I’ll go get one.” Loki says. She takes the elevator back up to the living area and looks at the book shelf. Ultimately she grabs three books. The first is a children’s story book, the second a history book, and the third an anatomy book. The children’s book proves to be most helpful as Jarvis is able to extrapolate more complex runes from the basic runes contained in the story. Translating the history book goes much more quickly. By the third book Jarvis is able to scan and translate most of the words without Loki’s assistance. By the time everyone gets home, Loki feels a sense of accomplishment.
Tony orders Chinese take-out delivery for everyone. Loki finds that she likes sweet and sour chicken but despises spicy food. It upsets her stomach. She asks everyone what the plan is for the next few days. Truth be told they hadn’t really figured out a schedule past the first couple of days. Loki decides that uploading her books with Jarvis is a worthy endeavor. That way if she needs a quick reference she can just ask Jarvis instead of having to thumb her way through dozens of books.
She spends the next several days in the lab with Bruce and Jarvis doing just that. Occasionally taking breaks by going with one of the other Avengers to do menial errands. Natasha and Pepper have decided after seeing Loki wear formal princess gowns in the lab every day that they need to take her shopping. Natasha lends Loki some clothes to wear while shopping so she doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb. The day is a bit awkward as Natasha and Pepper have never really hung out together before in a social setting outside of the tower. The three of them are really just getting to know each other.
Pepper being the famous and powerful CEO that she is gets them the access and royal treatment they deserve. The salesladies lavish Loki with attention as they bring her outfit after outfit. She really does need a full new wardrobe. Pepper makes some executive decisions about basics like bras and underwear after getting Loki’s measurements to save time. She arranges for the deliveries to be made to Stark Tower and the ladies head to lunch. In more than one instance Loki finds the gaze of a man on her body, smiling at her and flirting with her. Loki’s cheeks burn and she finds her eyes turned down to her shoes on more than one occasion. Pepper and Natasha notice.
“He’s looking at you.” Pepper says as she nods in the man’s general direction.
“I know.” Loki says with a shy smile.
“Well…..? Are you going to do anything about it?” Natasha asks. Loki shakes her head.
“I’m still learning what it means to be me. I can’t get wrapped up in a man right now. If I wanted to do that, I would’ve stayed in Asgard.” Loki says. Pepper and Natasha both find themselves possessing a new found respect for Loki. She is a strong independent woman, even if she is still learning basics like how to use a phone or hail a taxi.
“Oh? So there’s someone back home?” Pepper says conspiratorially. “Pray tell, what does he look like?” Pepper says with wide naughty grin. Loki furrows her brow in confusion.
“You know what Thor looks like.” She says. Both Pepper and Natasha’s forks clink onto their plates.
“Loki, are you and Thor romantically involved?” Natasha asks as a cold chill overtakes her.
“No…, we wanted to be. But things got…difficult and confusing and…..I realized I needed to get away from him for a while. Away from Asgard. I love Thor, and yes in a romantic way. He does too. But being with Thor would have meant making him my whole world and my whole….identity. I needed to break away and be on my own for while so I can learn who I am.”
“Loki, Thor is your brother. You are his sister. For the two of you to be together in that way, adopted or not…..It’s wrong. It’s not healthy. Whether you understood this consciously or not, I think it is a good thing you left him behind.” Natasha says. Natasha has had some pretty questionable levels of morality over the course of her life, but this is a new one that even she never stooped to. Thor was trying to take advantage of her.
“Thor has always been an honorable man, he’s also a passionate man, and he knows what he wants. I don’t even know who I am. That’s why I left.” Loki says. She can’t help but want to defend Thor. Thor is a good man and he took good care of her. He loves her. He would never harm her.
“Regardless on his intentions Loki, you made the right decision.” Pepper says. Dessert comes and Pepper explains to Loki what Tiramisu is. It tastes like heaven. The ladies return home where the large shipment of clothing is waiting for Loki to sort and put away. Loki is surprised at how tired and drained she feels.
Later that evening Clint returns home from assignment and he and Natasha catch up on Loki’s first few days in the tower.
“Thor and Loki are sexually attracted to each other.” Natasha tells him. Clint stares at her.
“Wait so Thor….wants to fuck his sister…who used to be…his brother…who tried to kill him and incidentally, all of us.”
“Yeah.”
“And she wants to fuck him back?”
“I’m sure it’s more than just fucking Clint. They’re gods. They’re thousands of years old and the connection they have is very deep.”
“Not if Loki’s memory story is to be believed. She’s an innocent doe eyed newborn that doesn’t know what sex is, remember.” Clint drills her.
“She actually does give off a very big virgin vibe.” Natasha says.
“You don’t think Thor was attracted to Loki when he was a dude do you?” Clint says will barely veiled disgust.
“It would explain his unending bottomless well of forgiveness towards him.” Natasha says.
“Ew.”Clint says. Natasha smiles a little to herself. She can’t help the image of the two very attractive men intertwined in an undressed state running free through her mind. Even though she had told Loki it was wrong just a couple of hours ago. Hypocrite.
“So are we going to engage in welcome home sex or are we going to spend the rest of the night imagining Thor and Loki fucking?” Natasha goads him. It works.
The days go by and Loki finishes uploading her books into Jarvis’ database and finds she needs something else to do. At Steve’s recommendation she signs up for piano, dance, and art classes at a local school. Loki meets new people and starts making friends with them. It is a novelty for her to be around people that have no idea who she is or where she’s from, and on more than one occasion Loki has to remind herself to keep certain parts of her identity a secret. Some of her new friends suffered terrible losses during the attack on New York City. Some of the people Loki is in school with don’t know what to make of her. In some instances she shows herself to be a person of great intellect, and yet knowledge of basic things will fly over her head. They are all beginning to wonder if Loki used to be Amish or something.
As friendly as Loki is she never invites her classmates back to her place. None of them knows she resides at Stark Tower or that Thor is her brother. She should have thought of it, changing her name, giving the school a fake one instead. But everyone here knows her as Loki so if any of them were to ever put two and two together, her secret would be out. And so Loki keeps her new friends at arms-length.
It isn’t long before 6 months has flown by. Everyone in the Tower has relaxed and accepted Loki’s presence there, even Clint in his own way. He mostly just avoids her. It becomes clear after a time that this is not a ruse and each member of the team accepts this fact as truth in their own time. More and more Loki finds times when she is completely alone in the tower and left to her own devices. She barely notices, however, as she spends much of her free time practicing her spells, and studying her books.
Loki finds that she feels closer to some team members than others. She feels closest to Steve by far as they have art in common and spend a lot of time with each other on the topic. She next feels closest to Bruce. His green skin makes her feel comfortable in her blue skin and she is glad to have a comrade of a rainbow hue. Tony feels like an absent intermittent annoying brother who smokes, drinks, and parties way too much for his own good. The man is an unceasing source of dirty innuendo. Loki is grateful for Pepper. She reins him in. Loki and Natasha never do get very close, though she suspects Clint has a lot do with that. It bothers Loki that whatever wrong she did to Clint in her old life, he has been unable to let it go or forgive her. She is beginning to feel that that she may need to confront him on it and lay old grievances to rest. Eventually. When she gets up the courage.
On a bright Sunday morning on a beautiful summer day, the group is all gathered around the table for a nice meal. They are sharing their plans and the business they must address in their individual lives when a call comes in from Director Fury. Doom has come to New York.

Notes