We´re going nowhere

“She´s dead?” I asked Peggy for the hundredth time. I was sitting on a chair my hands folded in my lap for half an hour now. Peggy, Howard and Colonel Phillips were standing around me, telling over and over again how two soldiers had found her alive. How Howard had let her die in the truck.
“I already told you, she did not make it. We found her half dead already. There was nothing they could have done. Could you Tony?”
Mr. Stark didn´t answer right away. After a moment he came towards me and laid his hand on my shoulder. “Steve it is for the better, believe me. Lyis… is in a better place now.”
“God damn it Rogers. She´s dead. Accept it. We have to fight hydra in case you´ve forgotten!” with these words Colonel Phillips turned around and went over to the table were all the maps lay. The other two followed him and left me behind with my thoughts. He was right, I did not know much about Lyis and I had only met her a day ago. But still her death did hit me hard, because I could have prevented it. I could have stopped her from jumping. Simple thing: grapping Lyis by her shoulders and dragging her inside again. But I just stood there absolutely hypnotized by her manner. Those eyes were so full of grieve and despair yet still so… full of … life. Suddenly I saw her lying in front of me on a steel table, her body pale and cold but her eyes still looking at me- dead and alive at the same time. That image disturbed me so much, that I was entirely convinced she´s alive until I see for myself. So I stood up and went out of the room towards the elevator. Having no idea where they would keep her corpse I pressed the button for the lowest floor. Elevator music played in the background while it went downwards. Halfway through the elevator stopped with a soft ping and the doors slid open.
“Steve, where are you going to? I thought the conference is as usual upstairs?” Bucky came inside standing next to me and took a look at the button I had pressed. “What do you want to do down there?”
Suddenly my idea sounded most ridiculous. “Well, I er, wanted to … see her.”
Bucky looked at me as if I´ve lost my mind. Several seconds he starred at me, his expression changing from shock to pity. “I just can´t quite accept…” I started “…accept that she´s dead.” Bucky finished “I understand. Well then let´s say goodbye to her. You think she´s being kept here?” he asked with doubt in his voice.
We smiled at my little plan. She could be everywhere and still Bucky was crazy enough to go with me on a search for a corpse.
“I have no idea, but where else would they keep her?”
“Well then it is no bad idea to start at the damply cold dungeon of this place.”
Again the elevator gave a soft ping as we reached the lowest level. The doors slid open and immediately cool air hid our faces. I front of us was a long hallway with several doors on either side of it and some old lamps hanging from the ceiling. We got out of the elevator and tried several of them. Some were used as storage rooms, cramped with old furniture, others were full of Howards engineering stuff. Most of them were completely empty.
“Well we have two chances left that she is inside this building. I doubt that she would be further upstairs.” Bucky said as he opened the second to last door. Light, much brighter than the flicker in the hall, flooded us.

“What are you doing here? This is a restricted area!” a voice called from the inside. Two men were coming towards us, both dressed as soldiers. The room was full of machineries and appeared to be a laboratory.
“Oh we´re sorry- we didn´t know-” I began.
“Get the fuck out of here. What are you starring at? Out!” The soldier that had spoken before yelled at us. Both of them were now standing in front of us, blocking the view into the room. The first one looked absolutely ordinary, he had a face you would forget the second you turn away.
“Jesus Christ, stay calm Ed. They said it was an accident, wasn´t it?” The second soldier asked turning towards Bucky . He had a large scar running over his cheek and lips, yet instead looking as angry as his friend he stayed calm but assertive.
“Yes. We were just looking for… chairs.”
I was confused about Buckys lie but didn´t show it.
“Just down the hallway on the left of the elevator. Weird technique starting at the back of the hallway. Maybe you should consider trying it the other way around next time.” With these words a last suspicious look towards us the soldier closed the door.
We walked back to the elevator and pushed the button to the conference room. I felt that Bucky wanted to tell me but he seemed to struggle with it.
“Bucky-”
“Steve, did you see... I don’t think Lyis corpse is in this building.”
There had been a so extremely small pause between “Lyis” and “corpse” that I was sure I had just imagined it. Still I couldn´t shake of the feeling of that Bucky had not said everything that he wanted to say.
Ping. The doors opened and we went towards the conference room. The doorknob already in his right hand Bucky turned towards me and said “I´m sure she knew you care. If I should ever fall down a 1000 meter drop, I would know too. Just forget her.” He took a deep breath and opened the door.
” We have a world to save.”

Notes