Archaic Kinds Of Fun
It's A Step In The Right Direction
October 6, 2014
SAM
Tomorrow will mark the four week anniversary of the house-wide therapy sessions. Sam didn’t have high hopes for the first week, because he knows from experience that it takes time for people to start to open up. The next three weeks were just as disappointing as well, and he looked down at the library table. His notes are spread out all around him, carefully marked with dates and names, and he hasn’t made progress with anyone. He has five three-subject notebooks in front of him, each with a day of the week written across the front cover, and he’s not sure why he even bothered. He meets with three people Monday thru Friday, so he thought it made sense to give each person their own section. Four weeks in and he still hasn’t filled a single page. He grabbed the Tuesday folder, because he started on a Tuesday, and opened it up to the very first page.
TONY
9/16
Admitted to having a drinking problem
Laughed it off/“But that’s in the past”
9/23
Ranted about the annoyance of encrypted files
Briefly mentioned a headache possibly caused from the Extremis
9/30
Caught Skye scratching at her arm-at the cut she made
Spent the entire time worrying about his assistant
SKYE
9/16
Kept repeating “Dude, I’m a mutant. How do I handle that?”
9/23
Ranted about encrypted files
Used words that normal people don’t understand/Deflection?
9/30
Went on a picnic previous Saturday with Darcy & Logan
Kept asking if that’s a normal family thing or just something they all saw in a movie once
DARCY
9/16
Kept saying that her life was weird, but for the better
Kept saying that she was okay/weirded out but totally okay, considering
9/23
Said she forgot to eat lunch that day and worried she was becoming like the geniuses
Thought out loud about setting “time to eat” alarms
9/30
Talked about the picnic she went on with Skye & Logan the previous Saturday
Said it was fun, “good family bonding moment”
Kept looking at the table, at her fingers/Thinking about Jo in the park? The fight she saw?
Sam closed the first notebook, sighed, and pulled over the Wednesday notebook. This one had a few more notes in it, but it was still lacking.
DOREEN
9/17
Talked a little about growing up as a mutant with an obvious mutation/mostly shrugged it off/made jokes about pranking people with her tail or having squirrels throw nuts at people
9/24
Mentioned that she’s been on her own since she was 18/moved around a lot/longest time staying in one place was eight months/talked about some of the more interesting places/light and fun stories
10/1
Saw news footage of the Battle of Manhattan and felt inspired/said she wanted a team/wanted someone to watch her back/Didn’t want to join the X-Men, didn’t say why
MARIA
9/17
When asked about childhood, gave very clinical answers
Mother died in the hospital/Father was in the Air Force so she moved around a lot as a kid
Can’t be sure but sounds like Father blamed her for Mother’s death
Joined the Air Force immediately after graduation
Served four years and was then recruited by SHIELD
9/24
Was Jo’s handler in SHIELD
Worked her way to the top
Actually smiled while talking about some missions, in VERY vague terms
10/1
Disappointed that she didn’t recognize HYDRA’s involvement sooner
Admitted to feeling unbalanced
Said she felt honored to be the liaison between Avengers and SHIELD (possibly sarcasm)
PEPPER
9/17
Talked about her childhood/Mother was a librarian, now retired/Father was a math teacher, deceased, heart attack
Mother, Chloe, lives in California-Laguna Woods
Normal childhood-Still close to her Mother
Only child but got along with others
Worked at Stark Industries in the finance department before being promoted to Tony’s assistant
9/24
Working for Tony wasn’t easy but enjoyed the challenge
Laughed when she said she couldn’t remember when she fell for Tony
Said Tony was her best friend
Told stories of their history together, all before “Ironman”
10/1
Talked some about what she went through after Tony became Ironman
Very vague, no direct eye contact
Said she was happy that he wasn’t on his own anymore
Only made eye contact when she said she didn’t know what she would have done if Jo hadn’t shown up when she did
Pepper opened up more than anyone else, but she was still careful about what she said. Doreen just made jokes and kept things light, and Maria spoke like she was reading from a script at times. (Sam ain’t gonna tell anyone, but Maria scares him. Just a little.) He pushed that notebook to the side and pulled the Thursday notebook in front of him. He just stared at it for a minute, to prepare himself, and then flipped it open.
THOR
9/18
Talked some about his childhood-his father, mother, brother, friends
Sounded like a fairytale but with a little more violence
Father sounds controlling and manipulative
Mother sounds supportive
Brother-Loki-sounds like a supporter and an instigator, depending on what tale Thor is telling
Friends sound like fun-Maybe we can recruit them?
9/25
Talked about the first time he met Darcy-took ten minutes for him to say Jane Foster’s name
Mostly talked about trying to learn a new world without having his Hammer
He fought Loki and destroyed his way back to Earth-said it was one of the hardest things he’s ever done
10/2
Said there are still things about this world that he doesn’t understand
Told stories of others in the house teaching him
Fun and light stories-didn’t want to talk about the tension that’s STILL in the house surrounding Loki
STEVE
9/18
Talked about Bucky, some
Mostly made plans for how to keep looking for him
9/25
Talked about how I’m adjusting to the house and everyone in it
NOTE TO SELF: Rogers is sneaky and cannot be trusted
10/2
Talked about the progress on the Bucky search-there is no progress
Mentioned his three way spar with Logan and Jo-Jo won
Said he felt restless staying in the mansion
Talked aloud about getting out more but no definite plans
REVIEW
DEADPOOL
9/25
Deadpool showed up out of nowhere-nearly gave me a heart attack
Sprawled across the library table and started talking about parts of his childhood
Very abusive
Totally open about the few things he could remember
Told stories about his days as a mercenary
Talked about his time in the Weapon X Program/Wanted to cure his cancer so he could stay with his lady, who later left him-“Can’t blame her. I mean, have you seen me? No, wait, you haven’t. Wanna see?”
(I regret agreeing)
10/2
Deadpool showed up again, unannounced and somehow undetected
Talked about his latest missions-very bloody but still humorous
Narrated the voices in his head
Continuously “broke the fourth wall”
Believes that this is a story and not real
“We’re all just characters, man! We’re not real! A fucking unicorn could come flying outta my ass just because of a few keystrokes!”
Gave me a bird plushy before disappearing/it’s a penguin that’s possibly splattered with blood/will wash it and keep it
That first Thursday after dinner, Sam had gone up to the library and reviewed the therapy sessions he’d already had. Then he’d tried to prepare for the ones to come. On the second Thursday, Deadpool appeared and said he didn’t want to miss out on the fun. As far as Sam can tell, no one knows that Deadpool has been sneaking into the mansion. Sam hasn’t told anyone, because Deadpool is the only one that doesn’t hold back during the therapy sessions. It’s refreshing. Third notebook down. Sam grabbed the fourth and could already feel a headache starting. This one has been the most difficult so far.
CLINT
9/19
Said absolutely nothing
Stared at me the entire time
Never saw him blink
Left via air vent
9/26
Asked if we could be bird bros
Talked, in detail, about our “routine”
Funny ideas but I’m not doing any of that
Especially the canon thing
10/3
Answered all questions with either a shrug or “Caw-Caw Motherfucker!”
LOKI
9/19
Asked if I was scared of him-Told him he looked like a beanpole
Remained mute for the rest of the session
9/26
Played a game called Truth or Lie
Said statements and made me guess-Never told me if I was right or wrong
Possibilities are endless
10/3
Complained about EVERYTHING
His sheets, the shower, his clothes, being confined, being stared at, the food, humanity in general
NATASHA
9/19
Said absolutely nothing
Stared at me the entire time
Not sure if she blinked
Winked before leaving
9/26
Brought an alarming amount of guns
Spent the session cleaning them and explaining what she was doing
10/3
Filed and painted her nails
Told a story about how she broke into a bank using a nail file/might have possibly killed someone using a nail file
Fridays have become the bane of Sam’s existence. Between the assassins and the surly god, he’s losing it. None of them have said anything even remotely helpful, so Sam’s not even sure why they agreed to therapy. He knows it takes time for people to open up, but they haven’t budged at all. Thankfully, Monday makes up for that. Sam grabbed his last notebook, placed it right in front of him, and flipped it open.
JO
9/22
Started with her childhood/Loved her mother/Loves Logan, who stepped in as a father figure
Talked about dancing with her Ma/fairs and camping trips/painting different rooms of the house
Talked about the mutant school/the friends she made there/her “adopted” little sister
9/29
Briefly talked about ROSE and working for SHIELD
Gave some details-the ones she said “stuck” with her
Like having her head shaved
Said she’s been thinking of cutting her hair but she’s a little scared to
10/6
Talked about everyone in the mansion and how she feels about each person
Very touching
Slightly illuminating
She’s protective (worried)
Looks like she hasn’t been sleeping well but hasn’t said anything
At the end-said she hated that everyone in the house had seen the worst of her
Left before I could say anything
BRUCE
9/22
Talked very vaguely about childhood
Mother died when he was young/Father “wasn’t a good man” and is now deceased
Raised by an aunt
Normal from there-school, college, casual friends, first love-Betty
9/29
Talked some about the accident that caused Hulk
Said he spent years running and trying to get rid of Hulk
Seemed a little ashamed-admitted that he’d apologized to Hulk for everything
Mentioned seeing Betty recently and said they had closure
10/6
Started with talking about Jo and Tony
Said they were never afraid of him-helped him open up-made him feel normal
He’d do anything for anyone in the house-those two are different, more
Mentioned that he and Hulk had fully integrated-Hulk is officially a genius
So some people of the house have opened up a little, but they’re all staying away from the big things. Tony hasn’t said anything about all of the traumatic things he’s been through over the years, and Darcy and Skye haven’t talked about being attacked just for their mutant genes to activate. Doreen, Maria, and Pepper kept things light and only mentioned a heavy topic in either a detached manner or a joking one. Thor distracted Sam with wild stories from outer space, and Steve distracted him with plans for finding Bucky or by asking after Sam’s welfare. (Deadpool was surprisingly open, and Sam felt like they were making progress.) Clint and Natasha have barely said anything about anything, and Loki talked in riddles or insults. Jo and Bruce are a little more open, but they still skirt around the really hard stuff.
Sam just finished with Bruce, and dinner was only a couple of hours ago. Everyone should still be awake, and it’s about time Sam talked to all of them. He stacked up his notebooks in a neat little pile and then placed them inside of a backpack. Then he slumped back in his chair and stared up at the library ceiling. He can wait and see if this week will be any different, but he doesn’t see the point. They’re going to keep deflecting, so it’s time for some tough love.
“JARVIS? I’m calling a team meeting. Get everyone into the den.”
“Right away, Master Sam.” Time to go scold a bunch of superheroes and mutants.
JO
“Team meeting in the den, immediately.” Jo paused at the sound of JARVIS’s voice, and Darcy crashed against her. They both stuttered out a breath, and Jo realized they were still locked in their dancing stance. Jo was taking the lead, so she had one hand laced with Darcy’s and the other hand supporting Darcy’s lower back.
“Tony! You called a team meeting?!” Jo yelled. Her and Darcy are dancing in Tony’s lab, and Tony and Skye are somewhere in here. She heard feet scrambling, and Tony and Skye came into a view a moment later.
“Not me,” Tony said while shaking his head. Jo and Darcy untangled themselves, and Jo reached up to rub the back of her neck since her braided hair was on top of her head.
“Who then?” Darcy asked. Jo shrugged, because Tony’s the only one that’s ever called for a team meeting.
“There’s only one way to find out,” Skye said and looked towards the door. She’s got a point. Jo looped her arm through Darcy’s as Tony threw an arm around Skye’s shoulders, and the four of them left the lab.
The elevator stopped at the fifth floor, and Clint and Natasha got on. Neither one of them called for a meeting. The elevator stopped again at the fourth floor. Loki and Doreen joined them in the elevator and said neither of them asked for a team meeting. Jo expected them to reach the first floor after that, but the elevator stopped again at the third floor. Logan, Steve, and Illyana (because they still haven’t found her mentor) got on this time. The elevator was starting to get a little crowded, but their three new additions promised that they didn’t know anything about a team meeting. At the ground floor, they all stumbled out of the elevator and started for the den.
“Pepper! Did you finish…” Jo lost track of what Darcy was asking as sound filled the room, and she followed Tony over to the couch that they usually sat on during meetings. Pepper was talking to Darcy now, and Sam and Maria were standing up and talking quietly to each other. Not even a full minute later, Thor and Bruce walked into the den. Thor was wearing basketball shorts and a white tee shirt, and Bruce was wearing a pair of black Hulk shorts and a plain gray tee shirt. They must have been sparring.
“Why are we having a team meeting?” Bruce asked quietly after sitting next to her on the couch. The question was directed at Tony, who was on her other side, and Tony shrugged.
“This one is not on me,” Tony said and crossed his arms. Now that everyone was gathered in the room, people started to sit down. Pepper sat next to Tony, which filled up their couch. Illyana, Logan, and Darcy took another couch. Skye sat on the floor and leaned back against Darcy’s legs. Loki and Thor sat on a loveseat, and Doreen perched on the back of the loveseat between the two gods. Steve, Sam, and Maria sat on another couch. Clint sat in a chair, and Natasha sat on the arm of the chair with one arm braced against the back of it. So, everyone’s assembled. Now what?
“Isn’t this the part where someone starts talking? Or did JARVIS call us here for a team meeting?” Doreen asked after the room was quiet for a minute. Jo looked around the room, and she watched as Sam wiped his palms against his jeans and then slowly got to his feet. He looked nervous, his eyes kept darting around the room, but he kept his shoulders straight as he stood in the center of where they’ve all congregated.
“I asked for a team meeting,” Sam said and then made a point of looking all of them in the eye.
“Is something wrong?” Steve asked first. Before anyone else could ask anything, Sam held a hand up. Everyone settled back, and Sam crossed his arms over his chest.
“I get that all of you have been through some rough stuff. Hell, my life ain’t been a picnic either. But all of you agreed to therapy, to try, and none of you have opened up. The only person who has actually talked openly about the worst parts of his life is Deadpool. Deadpool! He’s not even a member of this team!”
“Uncle Wade’s been here?” Jo asked quickly. She could hear how frustrated Sam was, but she was confused about Uncle Wade’s appearance. Mostly because she hasn’t seen him since she left Greenland.
“How did Deadpool get in without me knowing?” Tony asked right after her. Sam narrowed his eyes on both of them, and Jo shrunk back against the couch so that she was slightly hiding behind Bruce and Tony.
“I don’t know, and I don’t really care. I want this to work, okay? I want to help all of you, but I can’t do that if you never open up. So, if you’re never going to be honest with me, stop coming. You’re wasting my time, and you’re wasting your time. Got it?” Jo’s tried to open up, she’s admitted to some things, but she hasn’t gone deep into detail. Opening up like that isn’t easy, but Sam has a point. If they’re all keeping quiet, there’s no point in having therapy sessions.
“I’ll try harder,” Jo said quietly. She could hear everyone else mumbling an agreement, so it looks like Sam has managed to chastise them all.
“And one more thing. Jo?” Her chin raised a little at the sound of her name, and she met Sam’s eyes head-on. “I can’t remember any of your memories. Not any details. I know you suffered, but I don’t remember anything about that place. It’s like everything I got from the mind meld just faded away.”
“I can’t remember anything either,” Darcy said next. Bruce told her about a week ago that he couldn’t remember any of her memories, except for the dream where she accidentally linked their minds. Tony told her the same thing a few days before that. She just wasn’t sure if it was the same for everyone else.
“I can, uh, I can still remember everything. Clearly,” Skye admitted quietly. Jo’s got thirteen sets of memories, but only one other person has her memories. She can live with that.
“I can’t access any of your memories.” Jo paused to look around the room, and she could see a few subtle signs of relief. “It’s like, I’ve got a lot of little doors in my mind. Each door feels different, I know who each door belongs to, but I can’t open them. I can knock, Tony and Bruce can open their doors to get my attention, but I can’t just go poking through any of your memories. So I guess we’re all even?”
“So you can’t remember anything from any of us?” Maria asked. The look in her eyes is calculating, and Jo gets it. She’s hated the idea of everyone knowing her whole past, so she imagines it’s the same for all of them.
“I did all the mental links back-to-back, so I never really had a chance to process the individual memories. I have dreams sometimes, but I forget them when I wake up.” That last part is true. The dreams are more like nightmares, Bruce has had to shake her awake on more than one occasion over the past several weeks, but she can never hold onto the images after she wakes up.
“Alright, now that we’ve got that out of the way, you’re all free to go. But I expect things to change this week,” Sam said sternly. With that, the meeting was over.
SAM
TONY
10/7
Admitted to being an arrogant, cocky, asshole/Said worst part was that for a genius, he was naïve/Didn’t realize that the man he trusted, the man he looked up to, was against him/That his tech was being sold to the bad guys/Said he didn’t even know how many people died because of his ignorance/Fights now to try and find a balance/Right his wrongs/Said he was scared, for himself and everyone else/Admitted to having panic attacks after the Loki attack/Has been using drinking as a coping mechanism since he was a teenager/Hands still shake whenever he gets the urge to drink/Still has nightmares about falling from space, about Pepper falling into fire, about someone he trusts ripping out his arc reactor/Nightmares are infrequent but still powerful/Has to be careful in the lab and resist the urge to build an army of suits/It didn’t work out last time and says that he doesn’t need an army of suits because he has a team/Still has the urge though/Admitted that he’s worried that Pepper will leave him again/Said he understood why she left-because he was repressing everything that’s happened and just focusing on her/Working on not repressing as much
Asked him to start a dream journal (he scoffed but agreed)/Told him to talk to Pepper about his worries/When he has the urge to drink, told him to either count backwards from a hundred or work on difficult equations-anything to occupy his mind-something simple but consuming
SKYE
10/7
Completely freaking out about the family thing, more than the mutant thing/Curious about her mutant abilities and wants to find a way to access them again-without being shot at/Worried about her new family/Scared that she met them only to lose them later/Admitted to thinking about running away, disappearing and going completely off the grid/Loves sharing a room with her twin and says that they’re already close, and that scares her even more/Said it would be easier if she hated Darcy and Logan/She kept herself apart from all the other kids in her foster homes because they always left/ “Everyone always leaves, so how do I know this is any different?”/Likes everyone else in the house, gets along with everyone else, which puts her more on edge/Said she had a feeling like something horrible was going to happen/Like how some people fear tsunamis/Some days it’s not so bad/Some days she admitted to hiding in the lab and not making eye contact/She leaves the house regularly to go for walks and some days she has to talk herself into coming back
Told her to make a note every time she gets the urge to run away and to write down what happened immediately before
DARCY
10/7
Said she had a panic attack the first time she came to the house/She thought Jane Foster was a friend, cared about her, but Jane sent her away/She worked at a Starbucks and lived in an apartment not meant for humans/Then Tony Stark hired her and her world shifted on its side in a matter of hours/“So, yeah, I totally freaked. That whole first week? I kept expecting Tony to change his mind and send me away like Jane did. Because I’m not an astrophysicist or an engineer or any kind of scientist.”/Said it scared her at first, how close she became to Tony and Jo in a short span of time/She’s adjusted now, trusts her team, but she’s still getting used to having blood family/Said a part of her freaks out whenever her and Skye finishes each other’s sentences/Said Logan is super nice and funny, but sometimes it hits her that he’s her grandfather and she has to go hyperventilate somewhere/Working for Pepper grounds her/Gives her a purpose and is something that she enjoys/Still worried that she’s going to be sent away/ “Thank you so much for all of your help, but I think it’s time that you moved on. That’s what she said! Like I can’t translate that? She meant it was time for her to move on, without me. What if Pepper reaches a point where she doesn’t need an assistant? And, let’s be real, Tony and Jo are both in committed relationships. When they have actual kids, which I will be stoked about, they’ll stop joking about me being their lovechild. I know it’s stupid, but I really like the way we joke around. I’m gonna miss it, and it’s going to feel like another dismissal. Like they’re moving on. And Skye and Logan? Yeah, we’re family, but we’ve lived without each other. What if Skye leaves? She doesn’t really have a reason to stay, except for me and Logan. She could leave at any moment. And Logan’s going to live for, like, ever so what if he decides that sticking around isn’t worth it? I sound like such a head case worrying about what-ifs, but these people are my family. All of them, and any of them could leave at any moment.”
Told her to make a list of everyone in the house and what they mean to her/Then, next to that, write down her fears about them/After that, talk to them/Not all in one day, but a little at a time/Told her to make sure she listens to their answers/Write them down later so that she can read them whenever she starts to worry again
DOREEN
10/8
Started off by saying that she had no reason to complain about her life, especially compared to the others in the house/Said she was bullied when she was younger for her obvious mutant traits but she’s over it/Admitted that the negative reactions from her childhood kept her isolated/Even after meeting other mutants and open-minded humans she stayed isolated/She wanted to join a team because she was lonely/ “I’m thirty years old and I don’t think I’ve ever had a real home. That’s not normal, right? Never having a home? And I don’t even know if this place is home. Maybe in seven months I’ll just disappear without anyone noticing or caring. I’ve done it before. Everyone here acts like a family, at least I think they do. It’s hard for me to tell because my own family was…quiet. My parents rarely even looked at me, much less talk. Here? People are always hugging, or tackling, or cuddling, or just existing together. I’ve never had that. It’s kinda weird, but in a good way? Why am I even talking about this?”/Worried about acceptance and rejection
Asked her to hug one person a day, no one two days in a row, until she’s hugged everyone in the house/Also asked her to go on outings with others, spend time with different people outside of the house
MARIA
10/8
Admitted that her father blamed her for her mother’s death/She moved around a lot as a kid/Her dad was always busy, so she was mostly raised by nannies until she was old enough to take care of herself/Her father decided that fourteen was old enough for her to take care of herself/Thrived in the Air Force and would have stayed if her superior officers hadn’t put her down at every turn/She worked for Fury because Fury respected her/SHIELD was the first place that felt like home to her/Admitted that the fall of SHIELD was like someone burning her house down but she’s trying to rebuild/She trusts the people in the house but said it’s not easy/Some part of her is waiting to be betrayed again
Told her to start reaching out to the house members/To build trust with everyone/Can’t build trust without interaction, so told her to spend more time with different people
PEPPER
10/8
Cried, only a little, while talking about Tony becoming Ironman/Said she noticed how he lost a little more of himself every time he put the suit on/After the Extremis incident she barely even recognized him anymore/He drank more than he ever had before, had violent nightmares, stayed in the lab for days/Admitted that she didn’t know what to do because he wouldn’t talk to her, just said that he would be fine but she could see that he wasn’t/Left him because he was never going to try to get better with her there/Said leaving him was the hardest thing she’d ever done/Not just because she was in love with him/Tony is her best friend, was her only friend for a decade/Admitted that she felt lost without him and almost went back to him a dozen times/Said they talked about what happened, why she left and what he went through after she did/Said that she had no intention of ever leaving him again/Admitted that she didn’t think she’d survive leaving him again/Said that she could never thank Jo enough for what she did/Loves Jo for saving Tony, for supporting him and being there for him/Still worries about Tony putting on the suit but is comforted by the thought that he’s not fighting alone anymore
Told her to form friendships with others/Others in the house or out of it, doesn’t matter/Told her she needs more than just Tony as a friend/She needs people she can lean on/More connections
THOR
10/9
Opened up about his father and the things he’s done in recent years/Said that he and Loki were often pitted against each other as children/Talked about what it was like to be thrown into a world he did not know, by his father, when he was only doing what he thought his father wanted/Skipped ahead to his father lying to him about his mother’s death and his father’s indifference to Loki/It angered him that his father didn’t seem to care for Loki/Talked about Jane Foster, some/Said he missed her but understood her reasoning/Admitted that they were different, too different, to work out in the long run/Said that sometimes he still felt adrift on Earth but that he doesn’t want to desert his team
Asked him to learn more about the planet that he’s on now/To leave the mansion, with Loki, and see the planet that he’s staying here to protect
STEVE
10/9
Clenched his jaw for the first five minutes/Then admitted that he’d recently gone to see Peggy Carter/Her health is declining and some days she can’t remember him at all/Doctors told him that she probably doesn’t have very long left/Said that sometimes he wishes he could go back and stop himself from flying the plane into the ocean/Knows he did the right thing but still feels out of place/Dreams that the war is over and that he’s home with Peggy/Wakes up those days feeling more out of place and disconnected/Focusing on looking for Bucky helps, gives him focus and purpose/Admitted that searching is also burning him out
Told him to lighten up and stop carrying the world on his shoulders/Told him to get out some and see what the world looks like today/Asked him to start sketching again-things outside of the house to prove that he’s actually going out in the world
DEADPOOL
10/9
Dropped in and told a very funny story about three ninjas, a hot pink Moped, a rubber chicken, and a guy dressed as the Pope
CLINT
10/10
Took one of my notebooks and made thirty-seven paper airplanes while he talked/Abusive father and submissive mother died in a car accident when he was young/Him and his older brother stayed in a group home for a little while before joining the circus/Loved the circus/Felt like he belonged for the first time and where he learned to shoot/Caught his mentor stealing from the circus, confronted him, and was beaten/His older brother left not long after that/Moved to another circus and adopted a little girl as a younger sister/She died of pneumonia/Buried her himself/Got into a lot of trouble until SHIELD found him and recruited him/He recruited Natasha/Said nothing else about Natasha/Admitted to doing some things he regrets while working for SHIELD but said he believed he was doing the right thing at the time/Feels unbalanced by the HYDRA reveal/Hates that he understands Loki’s perspective/Hates the role that he played in the god’s scheme/Remembers every person that he killed while brainwashed and doesn’t care that they were all apparently HYDRA
Told him that every time he thinks of someone that he killed, he has to think of someone that he saved/Told him to write down both situations and remember that no one is perfect, Barton
LOKI
10/10
Talked about growing up as the younger brother of Thor and how their Father always seemed to be disappointed in him/Thor never hesitated to stick up for him/His mother taught him when his father took up time with Thor/Said their father told them stories about the horrors of Frost Giants when he and Thor were younger/Made learning that he was a Frost Giant even worse/Admitted that the knowledge of his true parentage and his jealously over Asgard’s love of Thor drove him to do things that he regrets/Like sending a giant robot thing to kill his brother and destroy a small town/Talked about what it was like to fall through space, through nothingness/Didn’t say the name of the person, or thing, that found him but admitted to being tortured/Nothing that he couldn’t handle/Held on for the right time/The stone from the scepter showed him what he needed to make his invasion of Earth fail/Said he wanted to ask Thor for help but couldn’t/Talked about what it was like to be locked in a cell and the anger he felt when he learned that his mother was dead/Said he was worried when he was injured because he didn’t want to be taken over again/Grudgingly said that he was thankful to Thor and Jo for freeing his mind/Admitted that being told to stay in the mansion made him feel like being caged all over again
Told him to leave the mansion, with a chaperone/Asked him to apologize to everyone in the mansion that he hurt, doesn’t matter if he was just doing what needed to be done
NATASHA
10/10
Leaned back in her chair, put her feet on the table, and spoke to the ceiling/Said she was raised in a place called the “Red Room”/Young girls were trained and tested to become spies and assassins/Handcuffed to bed at night to stop from escaping/Killed for the first time when she was seven/Killed a lot of people, guilty and innocent, until Clint found her/Admitted that Clint was supposed to kill her but recruited her instead/Joined SHIELD to make up for all the things she’d been forced to do by the people who ran the RR/Finding out SHIELD was HYDRA made her feel like she was on the wrong side again/Trusts this team to be on the right side/Wants to be on the right side/Admitted to keeping a distance because she’s always prepared to start over and become someone else/Admitted that she shapes herself into what other people want/That’s how she was trained
Asked her to open up to her team more/Not tell her whole life story but spend time with people other than Clint (or Steve)/Get to know her teammates/Be genuine and not just what she thinks they want her to be
JO
10/13
Jumped right into what happened to her at ROSE/Talked about the different ways she was tested and about the nurse she killed/Admitted to stabbing Natasha during the confusion of the rescue/Said she felt wrong after she was freed and that’s why she joined SHIELD/Ashamed to return home and for people to see how she’d changed/Admitted that killing was easy to start with/“The dead don’t think. It just goes quiet.”/Said that her job is the reason it didn’t work out with Johnny Storm and why she didn’t bother starting another relationship/Regrets killing some people but not everyone that she killed under SHIELD’s employ/Said that sometimes making the hard call is necessary/“Killing someone to save someone. Maybe it’s morally wrong, I don’t know, but I wouldn’t change those decisions even if I could.”/Admitted that the amount of mental links she’s created is dangerous/If one of them gets hurt, it could damage her permanently/Talked to the Professor more since returning to the mansion/Professor believed she was only creating a few mental links, not thirteen/Admitted that the nightmares she has are usually violent/Can’t remember them after waking up/Nightmares aren’t every night and can’t be predicted/Said her reactions are getting worse though
Told her to write down her reactions and anything that she can remember immediately after waking up/Need to keep a record of all the side effects from the mental links
BRUCE
10/13
Said he was abused by his father when he was younger and that’s when he learned how to hide/Not just physically/Hid his emotions, especially his anger, as he got older/Loved Betty but still kept part of himself hidden/Admitted to hating Hulk for years/Hated the anger, the destruction, and how scared he was/Ran away from everyone and everything/Admitted to attempted suicide, which only failed because Hulk took over/Said the first time he felt at peace was the first time he talked to Hulk/Actually talked to him, after eating some flowers that some other telepath gave him/Admitted that he still worried about losing control, even though he and Hulk talk regularly now/Said he still expects the people in the house to be afraid of him or to reject him
Asked him to let Hulk out more, outside of sparring or reading to Jo (didn’t even know that was a thing that happens on the regular)/Told him he needs the others to see that Hulk is just another part of him and can come out without being violent
After Bruce left, Sam closed his notebook and leaned back in his chair. For the past week, everyone has actually started talking about stuff that matters. It’s a step in the right direction.
SAM
Tomorrow will mark the four week anniversary of the house-wide therapy sessions. Sam didn’t have high hopes for the first week, because he knows from experience that it takes time for people to start to open up. The next three weeks were just as disappointing as well, and he looked down at the library table. His notes are spread out all around him, carefully marked with dates and names, and he hasn’t made progress with anyone. He has five three-subject notebooks in front of him, each with a day of the week written across the front cover, and he’s not sure why he even bothered. He meets with three people Monday thru Friday, so he thought it made sense to give each person their own section. Four weeks in and he still hasn’t filled a single page. He grabbed the Tuesday folder, because he started on a Tuesday, and opened it up to the very first page.
TONY
9/16
Admitted to having a drinking problem
Laughed it off/“But that’s in the past”
9/23
Ranted about the annoyance of encrypted files
Briefly mentioned a headache possibly caused from the Extremis
9/30
Caught Skye scratching at her arm-at the cut she made
Spent the entire time worrying about his assistant
SKYE
9/16
Kept repeating “Dude, I’m a mutant. How do I handle that?”
9/23
Ranted about encrypted files
Used words that normal people don’t understand/Deflection?
9/30
Went on a picnic previous Saturday with Darcy & Logan
Kept asking if that’s a normal family thing or just something they all saw in a movie once
DARCY
9/16
Kept saying that her life was weird, but for the better
Kept saying that she was okay/weirded out but totally okay, considering
9/23
Said she forgot to eat lunch that day and worried she was becoming like the geniuses
Thought out loud about setting “time to eat” alarms
9/30
Talked about the picnic she went on with Skye & Logan the previous Saturday
Said it was fun, “good family bonding moment”
Kept looking at the table, at her fingers/Thinking about Jo in the park? The fight she saw?
Sam closed the first notebook, sighed, and pulled over the Wednesday notebook. This one had a few more notes in it, but it was still lacking.
DOREEN
9/17
Talked a little about growing up as a mutant with an obvious mutation/mostly shrugged it off/made jokes about pranking people with her tail or having squirrels throw nuts at people
9/24
Mentioned that she’s been on her own since she was 18/moved around a lot/longest time staying in one place was eight months/talked about some of the more interesting places/light and fun stories
10/1
Saw news footage of the Battle of Manhattan and felt inspired/said she wanted a team/wanted someone to watch her back/Didn’t want to join the X-Men, didn’t say why
MARIA
9/17
When asked about childhood, gave very clinical answers
Mother died in the hospital/Father was in the Air Force so she moved around a lot as a kid
Can’t be sure but sounds like Father blamed her for Mother’s death
Joined the Air Force immediately after graduation
Served four years and was then recruited by SHIELD
9/24
Was Jo’s handler in SHIELD
Worked her way to the top
Actually smiled while talking about some missions, in VERY vague terms
10/1
Disappointed that she didn’t recognize HYDRA’s involvement sooner
Admitted to feeling unbalanced
Said she felt honored to be the liaison between Avengers and SHIELD (possibly sarcasm)
PEPPER
9/17
Talked about her childhood/Mother was a librarian, now retired/Father was a math teacher, deceased, heart attack
Mother, Chloe, lives in California-Laguna Woods
Normal childhood-Still close to her Mother
Only child but got along with others
Worked at Stark Industries in the finance department before being promoted to Tony’s assistant
9/24
Working for Tony wasn’t easy but enjoyed the challenge
Laughed when she said she couldn’t remember when she fell for Tony
Said Tony was her best friend
Told stories of their history together, all before “Ironman”
10/1
Talked some about what she went through after Tony became Ironman
Very vague, no direct eye contact
Said she was happy that he wasn’t on his own anymore
Only made eye contact when she said she didn’t know what she would have done if Jo hadn’t shown up when she did
Pepper opened up more than anyone else, but she was still careful about what she said. Doreen just made jokes and kept things light, and Maria spoke like she was reading from a script at times. (Sam ain’t gonna tell anyone, but Maria scares him. Just a little.) He pushed that notebook to the side and pulled the Thursday notebook in front of him. He just stared at it for a minute, to prepare himself, and then flipped it open.
THOR
9/18
Talked some about his childhood-his father, mother, brother, friends
Sounded like a fairytale but with a little more violence
Father sounds controlling and manipulative
Mother sounds supportive
Brother-Loki-sounds like a supporter and an instigator, depending on what tale Thor is telling
Friends sound like fun-Maybe we can recruit them?
9/25
Talked about the first time he met Darcy-took ten minutes for him to say Jane Foster’s name
Mostly talked about trying to learn a new world without having his Hammer
He fought Loki and destroyed his way back to Earth-said it was one of the hardest things he’s ever done
10/2
Said there are still things about this world that he doesn’t understand
Told stories of others in the house teaching him
Fun and light stories-didn’t want to talk about the tension that’s STILL in the house surrounding Loki
STEVE
9/18
Talked about Bucky, some
Mostly made plans for how to keep looking for him
9/25
Talked about how I’m adjusting to the house and everyone in it
NOTE TO SELF: Rogers is sneaky and cannot be trusted
10/2
Talked about the progress on the Bucky search-there is no progress
Mentioned his three way spar with Logan and Jo-Jo won
Said he felt restless staying in the mansion
Talked aloud about getting out more but no definite plans
REVIEW
DEADPOOL
9/25
Deadpool showed up out of nowhere-nearly gave me a heart attack
Sprawled across the library table and started talking about parts of his childhood
Very abusive
Totally open about the few things he could remember
Told stories about his days as a mercenary
Talked about his time in the Weapon X Program/Wanted to cure his cancer so he could stay with his lady, who later left him-“Can’t blame her. I mean, have you seen me? No, wait, you haven’t. Wanna see?”
(I regret agreeing)
10/2
Deadpool showed up again, unannounced and somehow undetected
Talked about his latest missions-very bloody but still humorous
Narrated the voices in his head
Continuously “broke the fourth wall”
Believes that this is a story and not real
“We’re all just characters, man! We’re not real! A fucking unicorn could come flying outta my ass just because of a few keystrokes!”
Gave me a bird plushy before disappearing/it’s a penguin that’s possibly splattered with blood/will wash it and keep it
That first Thursday after dinner, Sam had gone up to the library and reviewed the therapy sessions he’d already had. Then he’d tried to prepare for the ones to come. On the second Thursday, Deadpool appeared and said he didn’t want to miss out on the fun. As far as Sam can tell, no one knows that Deadpool has been sneaking into the mansion. Sam hasn’t told anyone, because Deadpool is the only one that doesn’t hold back during the therapy sessions. It’s refreshing. Third notebook down. Sam grabbed the fourth and could already feel a headache starting. This one has been the most difficult so far.
CLINT
9/19
Said absolutely nothing
Stared at me the entire time
Never saw him blink
Left via air vent
9/26
Asked if we could be bird bros
Talked, in detail, about our “routine”
Funny ideas but I’m not doing any of that
Especially the canon thing
10/3
Answered all questions with either a shrug or “Caw-Caw Motherfucker!”
LOKI
9/19
Asked if I was scared of him-Told him he looked like a beanpole
Remained mute for the rest of the session
9/26
Played a game called Truth or Lie
Said statements and made me guess-Never told me if I was right or wrong
Possibilities are endless
10/3
Complained about EVERYTHING
His sheets, the shower, his clothes, being confined, being stared at, the food, humanity in general
NATASHA
9/19
Said absolutely nothing
Stared at me the entire time
Not sure if she blinked
Winked before leaving
9/26
Brought an alarming amount of guns
Spent the session cleaning them and explaining what she was doing
10/3
Filed and painted her nails
Told a story about how she broke into a bank using a nail file/might have possibly killed someone using a nail file
Fridays have become the bane of Sam’s existence. Between the assassins and the surly god, he’s losing it. None of them have said anything even remotely helpful, so Sam’s not even sure why they agreed to therapy. He knows it takes time for people to open up, but they haven’t budged at all. Thankfully, Monday makes up for that. Sam grabbed his last notebook, placed it right in front of him, and flipped it open.
JO
9/22
Started with her childhood/Loved her mother/Loves Logan, who stepped in as a father figure
Talked about dancing with her Ma/fairs and camping trips/painting different rooms of the house
Talked about the mutant school/the friends she made there/her “adopted” little sister
9/29
Briefly talked about ROSE and working for SHIELD
Gave some details-the ones she said “stuck” with her
Like having her head shaved
Said she’s been thinking of cutting her hair but she’s a little scared to
10/6
Talked about everyone in the mansion and how she feels about each person
Very touching
Slightly illuminating
She’s protective (worried)
Looks like she hasn’t been sleeping well but hasn’t said anything
At the end-said she hated that everyone in the house had seen the worst of her
Left before I could say anything
BRUCE
9/22
Talked very vaguely about childhood
Mother died when he was young/Father “wasn’t a good man” and is now deceased
Raised by an aunt
Normal from there-school, college, casual friends, first love-Betty
9/29
Talked some about the accident that caused Hulk
Said he spent years running and trying to get rid of Hulk
Seemed a little ashamed-admitted that he’d apologized to Hulk for everything
Mentioned seeing Betty recently and said they had closure
10/6
Started with talking about Jo and Tony
Said they were never afraid of him-helped him open up-made him feel normal
He’d do anything for anyone in the house-those two are different, more
Mentioned that he and Hulk had fully integrated-Hulk is officially a genius
So some people of the house have opened up a little, but they’re all staying away from the big things. Tony hasn’t said anything about all of the traumatic things he’s been through over the years, and Darcy and Skye haven’t talked about being attacked just for their mutant genes to activate. Doreen, Maria, and Pepper kept things light and only mentioned a heavy topic in either a detached manner or a joking one. Thor distracted Sam with wild stories from outer space, and Steve distracted him with plans for finding Bucky or by asking after Sam’s welfare. (Deadpool was surprisingly open, and Sam felt like they were making progress.) Clint and Natasha have barely said anything about anything, and Loki talked in riddles or insults. Jo and Bruce are a little more open, but they still skirt around the really hard stuff.
Sam just finished with Bruce, and dinner was only a couple of hours ago. Everyone should still be awake, and it’s about time Sam talked to all of them. He stacked up his notebooks in a neat little pile and then placed them inside of a backpack. Then he slumped back in his chair and stared up at the library ceiling. He can wait and see if this week will be any different, but he doesn’t see the point. They’re going to keep deflecting, so it’s time for some tough love.
“JARVIS? I’m calling a team meeting. Get everyone into the den.”
“Right away, Master Sam.” Time to go scold a bunch of superheroes and mutants.
JO
“Team meeting in the den, immediately.” Jo paused at the sound of JARVIS’s voice, and Darcy crashed against her. They both stuttered out a breath, and Jo realized they were still locked in their dancing stance. Jo was taking the lead, so she had one hand laced with Darcy’s and the other hand supporting Darcy’s lower back.
“Tony! You called a team meeting?!” Jo yelled. Her and Darcy are dancing in Tony’s lab, and Tony and Skye are somewhere in here. She heard feet scrambling, and Tony and Skye came into a view a moment later.
“Not me,” Tony said while shaking his head. Jo and Darcy untangled themselves, and Jo reached up to rub the back of her neck since her braided hair was on top of her head.
“Who then?” Darcy asked. Jo shrugged, because Tony’s the only one that’s ever called for a team meeting.
“There’s only one way to find out,” Skye said and looked towards the door. She’s got a point. Jo looped her arm through Darcy’s as Tony threw an arm around Skye’s shoulders, and the four of them left the lab.
The elevator stopped at the fifth floor, and Clint and Natasha got on. Neither one of them called for a meeting. The elevator stopped again at the fourth floor. Loki and Doreen joined them in the elevator and said neither of them asked for a team meeting. Jo expected them to reach the first floor after that, but the elevator stopped again at the third floor. Logan, Steve, and Illyana (because they still haven’t found her mentor) got on this time. The elevator was starting to get a little crowded, but their three new additions promised that they didn’t know anything about a team meeting. At the ground floor, they all stumbled out of the elevator and started for the den.
“Pepper! Did you finish…” Jo lost track of what Darcy was asking as sound filled the room, and she followed Tony over to the couch that they usually sat on during meetings. Pepper was talking to Darcy now, and Sam and Maria were standing up and talking quietly to each other. Not even a full minute later, Thor and Bruce walked into the den. Thor was wearing basketball shorts and a white tee shirt, and Bruce was wearing a pair of black Hulk shorts and a plain gray tee shirt. They must have been sparring.
“Why are we having a team meeting?” Bruce asked quietly after sitting next to her on the couch. The question was directed at Tony, who was on her other side, and Tony shrugged.
“This one is not on me,” Tony said and crossed his arms. Now that everyone was gathered in the room, people started to sit down. Pepper sat next to Tony, which filled up their couch. Illyana, Logan, and Darcy took another couch. Skye sat on the floor and leaned back against Darcy’s legs. Loki and Thor sat on a loveseat, and Doreen perched on the back of the loveseat between the two gods. Steve, Sam, and Maria sat on another couch. Clint sat in a chair, and Natasha sat on the arm of the chair with one arm braced against the back of it. So, everyone’s assembled. Now what?
“Isn’t this the part where someone starts talking? Or did JARVIS call us here for a team meeting?” Doreen asked after the room was quiet for a minute. Jo looked around the room, and she watched as Sam wiped his palms against his jeans and then slowly got to his feet. He looked nervous, his eyes kept darting around the room, but he kept his shoulders straight as he stood in the center of where they’ve all congregated.
“I asked for a team meeting,” Sam said and then made a point of looking all of them in the eye.
“Is something wrong?” Steve asked first. Before anyone else could ask anything, Sam held a hand up. Everyone settled back, and Sam crossed his arms over his chest.
“I get that all of you have been through some rough stuff. Hell, my life ain’t been a picnic either. But all of you agreed to therapy, to try, and none of you have opened up. The only person who has actually talked openly about the worst parts of his life is Deadpool. Deadpool! He’s not even a member of this team!”
“Uncle Wade’s been here?” Jo asked quickly. She could hear how frustrated Sam was, but she was confused about Uncle Wade’s appearance. Mostly because she hasn’t seen him since she left Greenland.
“How did Deadpool get in without me knowing?” Tony asked right after her. Sam narrowed his eyes on both of them, and Jo shrunk back against the couch so that she was slightly hiding behind Bruce and Tony.
“I don’t know, and I don’t really care. I want this to work, okay? I want to help all of you, but I can’t do that if you never open up. So, if you’re never going to be honest with me, stop coming. You’re wasting my time, and you’re wasting your time. Got it?” Jo’s tried to open up, she’s admitted to some things, but she hasn’t gone deep into detail. Opening up like that isn’t easy, but Sam has a point. If they’re all keeping quiet, there’s no point in having therapy sessions.
“I’ll try harder,” Jo said quietly. She could hear everyone else mumbling an agreement, so it looks like Sam has managed to chastise them all.
“And one more thing. Jo?” Her chin raised a little at the sound of her name, and she met Sam’s eyes head-on. “I can’t remember any of your memories. Not any details. I know you suffered, but I don’t remember anything about that place. It’s like everything I got from the mind meld just faded away.”
“I can’t remember anything either,” Darcy said next. Bruce told her about a week ago that he couldn’t remember any of her memories, except for the dream where she accidentally linked their minds. Tony told her the same thing a few days before that. She just wasn’t sure if it was the same for everyone else.
“I can, uh, I can still remember everything. Clearly,” Skye admitted quietly. Jo’s got thirteen sets of memories, but only one other person has her memories. She can live with that.
“I can’t access any of your memories.” Jo paused to look around the room, and she could see a few subtle signs of relief. “It’s like, I’ve got a lot of little doors in my mind. Each door feels different, I know who each door belongs to, but I can’t open them. I can knock, Tony and Bruce can open their doors to get my attention, but I can’t just go poking through any of your memories. So I guess we’re all even?”
“So you can’t remember anything from any of us?” Maria asked. The look in her eyes is calculating, and Jo gets it. She’s hated the idea of everyone knowing her whole past, so she imagines it’s the same for all of them.
“I did all the mental links back-to-back, so I never really had a chance to process the individual memories. I have dreams sometimes, but I forget them when I wake up.” That last part is true. The dreams are more like nightmares, Bruce has had to shake her awake on more than one occasion over the past several weeks, but she can never hold onto the images after she wakes up.
“Alright, now that we’ve got that out of the way, you’re all free to go. But I expect things to change this week,” Sam said sternly. With that, the meeting was over.
SAM
TONY
10/7
Admitted to being an arrogant, cocky, asshole/Said worst part was that for a genius, he was naïve/Didn’t realize that the man he trusted, the man he looked up to, was against him/That his tech was being sold to the bad guys/Said he didn’t even know how many people died because of his ignorance/Fights now to try and find a balance/Right his wrongs/Said he was scared, for himself and everyone else/Admitted to having panic attacks after the Loki attack/Has been using drinking as a coping mechanism since he was a teenager/Hands still shake whenever he gets the urge to drink/Still has nightmares about falling from space, about Pepper falling into fire, about someone he trusts ripping out his arc reactor/Nightmares are infrequent but still powerful/Has to be careful in the lab and resist the urge to build an army of suits/It didn’t work out last time and says that he doesn’t need an army of suits because he has a team/Still has the urge though/Admitted that he’s worried that Pepper will leave him again/Said he understood why she left-because he was repressing everything that’s happened and just focusing on her/Working on not repressing as much
Asked him to start a dream journal (he scoffed but agreed)/Told him to talk to Pepper about his worries/When he has the urge to drink, told him to either count backwards from a hundred or work on difficult equations-anything to occupy his mind-something simple but consuming
SKYE
10/7
Completely freaking out about the family thing, more than the mutant thing/Curious about her mutant abilities and wants to find a way to access them again-without being shot at/Worried about her new family/Scared that she met them only to lose them later/Admitted to thinking about running away, disappearing and going completely off the grid/Loves sharing a room with her twin and says that they’re already close, and that scares her even more/Said it would be easier if she hated Darcy and Logan/She kept herself apart from all the other kids in her foster homes because they always left/ “Everyone always leaves, so how do I know this is any different?”/Likes everyone else in the house, gets along with everyone else, which puts her more on edge/Said she had a feeling like something horrible was going to happen/Like how some people fear tsunamis/Some days it’s not so bad/Some days she admitted to hiding in the lab and not making eye contact/She leaves the house regularly to go for walks and some days she has to talk herself into coming back
Told her to make a note every time she gets the urge to run away and to write down what happened immediately before
DARCY
10/7
Said she had a panic attack the first time she came to the house/She thought Jane Foster was a friend, cared about her, but Jane sent her away/She worked at a Starbucks and lived in an apartment not meant for humans/Then Tony Stark hired her and her world shifted on its side in a matter of hours/“So, yeah, I totally freaked. That whole first week? I kept expecting Tony to change his mind and send me away like Jane did. Because I’m not an astrophysicist or an engineer or any kind of scientist.”/Said it scared her at first, how close she became to Tony and Jo in a short span of time/She’s adjusted now, trusts her team, but she’s still getting used to having blood family/Said a part of her freaks out whenever her and Skye finishes each other’s sentences/Said Logan is super nice and funny, but sometimes it hits her that he’s her grandfather and she has to go hyperventilate somewhere/Working for Pepper grounds her/Gives her a purpose and is something that she enjoys/Still worried that she’s going to be sent away/ “Thank you so much for all of your help, but I think it’s time that you moved on. That’s what she said! Like I can’t translate that? She meant it was time for her to move on, without me. What if Pepper reaches a point where she doesn’t need an assistant? And, let’s be real, Tony and Jo are both in committed relationships. When they have actual kids, which I will be stoked about, they’ll stop joking about me being their lovechild. I know it’s stupid, but I really like the way we joke around. I’m gonna miss it, and it’s going to feel like another dismissal. Like they’re moving on. And Skye and Logan? Yeah, we’re family, but we’ve lived without each other. What if Skye leaves? She doesn’t really have a reason to stay, except for me and Logan. She could leave at any moment. And Logan’s going to live for, like, ever so what if he decides that sticking around isn’t worth it? I sound like such a head case worrying about what-ifs, but these people are my family. All of them, and any of them could leave at any moment.”
Told her to make a list of everyone in the house and what they mean to her/Then, next to that, write down her fears about them/After that, talk to them/Not all in one day, but a little at a time/Told her to make sure she listens to their answers/Write them down later so that she can read them whenever she starts to worry again
DOREEN
10/8
Started off by saying that she had no reason to complain about her life, especially compared to the others in the house/Said she was bullied when she was younger for her obvious mutant traits but she’s over it/Admitted that the negative reactions from her childhood kept her isolated/Even after meeting other mutants and open-minded humans she stayed isolated/She wanted to join a team because she was lonely/ “I’m thirty years old and I don’t think I’ve ever had a real home. That’s not normal, right? Never having a home? And I don’t even know if this place is home. Maybe in seven months I’ll just disappear without anyone noticing or caring. I’ve done it before. Everyone here acts like a family, at least I think they do. It’s hard for me to tell because my own family was…quiet. My parents rarely even looked at me, much less talk. Here? People are always hugging, or tackling, or cuddling, or just existing together. I’ve never had that. It’s kinda weird, but in a good way? Why am I even talking about this?”/Worried about acceptance and rejection
Asked her to hug one person a day, no one two days in a row, until she’s hugged everyone in the house/Also asked her to go on outings with others, spend time with different people outside of the house
MARIA
10/8
Admitted that her father blamed her for her mother’s death/She moved around a lot as a kid/Her dad was always busy, so she was mostly raised by nannies until she was old enough to take care of herself/Her father decided that fourteen was old enough for her to take care of herself/Thrived in the Air Force and would have stayed if her superior officers hadn’t put her down at every turn/She worked for Fury because Fury respected her/SHIELD was the first place that felt like home to her/Admitted that the fall of SHIELD was like someone burning her house down but she’s trying to rebuild/She trusts the people in the house but said it’s not easy/Some part of her is waiting to be betrayed again
Told her to start reaching out to the house members/To build trust with everyone/Can’t build trust without interaction, so told her to spend more time with different people
PEPPER
10/8
Cried, only a little, while talking about Tony becoming Ironman/Said she noticed how he lost a little more of himself every time he put the suit on/After the Extremis incident she barely even recognized him anymore/He drank more than he ever had before, had violent nightmares, stayed in the lab for days/Admitted that she didn’t know what to do because he wouldn’t talk to her, just said that he would be fine but she could see that he wasn’t/Left him because he was never going to try to get better with her there/Said leaving him was the hardest thing she’d ever done/Not just because she was in love with him/Tony is her best friend, was her only friend for a decade/Admitted that she felt lost without him and almost went back to him a dozen times/Said they talked about what happened, why she left and what he went through after she did/Said that she had no intention of ever leaving him again/Admitted that she didn’t think she’d survive leaving him again/Said that she could never thank Jo enough for what she did/Loves Jo for saving Tony, for supporting him and being there for him/Still worries about Tony putting on the suit but is comforted by the thought that he’s not fighting alone anymore
Told her to form friendships with others/Others in the house or out of it, doesn’t matter/Told her she needs more than just Tony as a friend/She needs people she can lean on/More connections
THOR
10/9
Opened up about his father and the things he’s done in recent years/Said that he and Loki were often pitted against each other as children/Talked about what it was like to be thrown into a world he did not know, by his father, when he was only doing what he thought his father wanted/Skipped ahead to his father lying to him about his mother’s death and his father’s indifference to Loki/It angered him that his father didn’t seem to care for Loki/Talked about Jane Foster, some/Said he missed her but understood her reasoning/Admitted that they were different, too different, to work out in the long run/Said that sometimes he still felt adrift on Earth but that he doesn’t want to desert his team
Asked him to learn more about the planet that he’s on now/To leave the mansion, with Loki, and see the planet that he’s staying here to protect
STEVE
10/9
Clenched his jaw for the first five minutes/Then admitted that he’d recently gone to see Peggy Carter/Her health is declining and some days she can’t remember him at all/Doctors told him that she probably doesn’t have very long left/Said that sometimes he wishes he could go back and stop himself from flying the plane into the ocean/Knows he did the right thing but still feels out of place/Dreams that the war is over and that he’s home with Peggy/Wakes up those days feeling more out of place and disconnected/Focusing on looking for Bucky helps, gives him focus and purpose/Admitted that searching is also burning him out
Told him to lighten up and stop carrying the world on his shoulders/Told him to get out some and see what the world looks like today/Asked him to start sketching again-things outside of the house to prove that he’s actually going out in the world
DEADPOOL
10/9
Dropped in and told a very funny story about three ninjas, a hot pink Moped, a rubber chicken, and a guy dressed as the Pope
CLINT
10/10
Took one of my notebooks and made thirty-seven paper airplanes while he talked/Abusive father and submissive mother died in a car accident when he was young/Him and his older brother stayed in a group home for a little while before joining the circus/Loved the circus/Felt like he belonged for the first time and where he learned to shoot/Caught his mentor stealing from the circus, confronted him, and was beaten/His older brother left not long after that/Moved to another circus and adopted a little girl as a younger sister/She died of pneumonia/Buried her himself/Got into a lot of trouble until SHIELD found him and recruited him/He recruited Natasha/Said nothing else about Natasha/Admitted to doing some things he regrets while working for SHIELD but said he believed he was doing the right thing at the time/Feels unbalanced by the HYDRA reveal/Hates that he understands Loki’s perspective/Hates the role that he played in the god’s scheme/Remembers every person that he killed while brainwashed and doesn’t care that they were all apparently HYDRA
Told him that every time he thinks of someone that he killed, he has to think of someone that he saved/Told him to write down both situations and remember that no one is perfect, Barton
LOKI
10/10
Talked about growing up as the younger brother of Thor and how their Father always seemed to be disappointed in him/Thor never hesitated to stick up for him/His mother taught him when his father took up time with Thor/Said their father told them stories about the horrors of Frost Giants when he and Thor were younger/Made learning that he was a Frost Giant even worse/Admitted that the knowledge of his true parentage and his jealously over Asgard’s love of Thor drove him to do things that he regrets/Like sending a giant robot thing to kill his brother and destroy a small town/Talked about what it was like to fall through space, through nothingness/Didn’t say the name of the person, or thing, that found him but admitted to being tortured/Nothing that he couldn’t handle/Held on for the right time/The stone from the scepter showed him what he needed to make his invasion of Earth fail/Said he wanted to ask Thor for help but couldn’t/Talked about what it was like to be locked in a cell and the anger he felt when he learned that his mother was dead/Said he was worried when he was injured because he didn’t want to be taken over again/Grudgingly said that he was thankful to Thor and Jo for freeing his mind/Admitted that being told to stay in the mansion made him feel like being caged all over again
Told him to leave the mansion, with a chaperone/Asked him to apologize to everyone in the mansion that he hurt, doesn’t matter if he was just doing what needed to be done
NATASHA
10/10
Leaned back in her chair, put her feet on the table, and spoke to the ceiling/Said she was raised in a place called the “Red Room”/Young girls were trained and tested to become spies and assassins/Handcuffed to bed at night to stop from escaping/Killed for the first time when she was seven/Killed a lot of people, guilty and innocent, until Clint found her/Admitted that Clint was supposed to kill her but recruited her instead/Joined SHIELD to make up for all the things she’d been forced to do by the people who ran the RR/Finding out SHIELD was HYDRA made her feel like she was on the wrong side again/Trusts this team to be on the right side/Wants to be on the right side/Admitted to keeping a distance because she’s always prepared to start over and become someone else/Admitted that she shapes herself into what other people want/That’s how she was trained
Asked her to open up to her team more/Not tell her whole life story but spend time with people other than Clint (or Steve)/Get to know her teammates/Be genuine and not just what she thinks they want her to be
JO
10/13
Jumped right into what happened to her at ROSE/Talked about the different ways she was tested and about the nurse she killed/Admitted to stabbing Natasha during the confusion of the rescue/Said she felt wrong after she was freed and that’s why she joined SHIELD/Ashamed to return home and for people to see how she’d changed/Admitted that killing was easy to start with/“The dead don’t think. It just goes quiet.”/Said that her job is the reason it didn’t work out with Johnny Storm and why she didn’t bother starting another relationship/Regrets killing some people but not everyone that she killed under SHIELD’s employ/Said that sometimes making the hard call is necessary/“Killing someone to save someone. Maybe it’s morally wrong, I don’t know, but I wouldn’t change those decisions even if I could.”/Admitted that the amount of mental links she’s created is dangerous/If one of them gets hurt, it could damage her permanently/Talked to the Professor more since returning to the mansion/Professor believed she was only creating a few mental links, not thirteen/Admitted that the nightmares she has are usually violent/Can’t remember them after waking up/Nightmares aren’t every night and can’t be predicted/Said her reactions are getting worse though
Told her to write down her reactions and anything that she can remember immediately after waking up/Need to keep a record of all the side effects from the mental links
BRUCE
10/13
Said he was abused by his father when he was younger and that’s when he learned how to hide/Not just physically/Hid his emotions, especially his anger, as he got older/Loved Betty but still kept part of himself hidden/Admitted to hating Hulk for years/Hated the anger, the destruction, and how scared he was/Ran away from everyone and everything/Admitted to attempted suicide, which only failed because Hulk took over/Said the first time he felt at peace was the first time he talked to Hulk/Actually talked to him, after eating some flowers that some other telepath gave him/Admitted that he still worried about losing control, even though he and Hulk talk regularly now/Said he still expects the people in the house to be afraid of him or to reject him
Asked him to let Hulk out more, outside of sparring or reading to Jo (didn’t even know that was a thing that happens on the regular)/Told him he needs the others to see that Hulk is just another part of him and can come out without being violent
After Bruce left, Sam closed his notebook and leaned back in his chair. For the past week, everyone has actually started talking about stuff that matters. It’s a step in the right direction.
Notes
Writing this chapter was more difficult than you can believe, and I really hope that I stayed true to everyone’s character. If you think I messed up anyone’s characterization, please tell me. I know there were some light moments in this chapter, but it mostly covered some pretty heavy stuff. So I’m going to make the next chapter a little more fluffy and fun. I am still open to taking requests for future scenes though! Also, I have mapped out the upcoming chapters leading up to Age of Ultron and Civil War. Not so much in numbered chapter formats, but I’ve outlined all the things that are going to occur between now and then. If you’re worried about things happening exactly like they did in the movies, don’t be. A lot is going to be changed, but that will be revealed later!
@TheIronBat
Oh my god! So much is going on and I love it!!!
10/23/17