I had walked home in a haze. My brother was waiting for me when I got there. I had barely made it half way up the walk way when he grabbed my arm and pulled me off to the side.

“Where the hell have you been Lil?” he snapped between clenched teeth “with Barnes?!”

“Let go” I cried trying to pull away looking up at him with tears in my eyes.

“Lilian damn it” he shouted throwing his hands up in the air. “I know guys like him, meet plenty of them back in basic.”

“You don’t!” I shouted back crying for the second time that morning “You don’t know anything about him!”

“You’re a damn fool! A god damn fool” he hollered “ and I have half a mind telling Father exactly where you were last night”

“No please you can’t” I begged clinging to his shirt.

If he told my father my life would be over. Father was a strict man, stricter than most. If he found out that I had spent the night with Bucky he’d send me strait to a monastery. My heart was pounding once more. Why was he being so mean?! Why couldn’t he understand?! He had a girl, he was in threat of deployment as well. Wouldn’t he do the same thing?

“Johnathon that is enough” my mother said sternly from the porch.

Neither one of knew how long she had been there. I froze in place. She would tell father. There was no one way that she wouldn’t. Jonathon sent her a sharp look but backed down regardless.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” She asked him here eyes clearly meaning that she didn’t give a damn where he went as long as he left. He gave an hmph and stormed away slamming the gate as he went.

“Oh Lilian” mother sighed “go on and get cleaned up before you’re father wakes up.”

I couldn’t meet her eyes as I walked past her and into the house. I started to have doubts about her telling father but I didn’t want to say anything about it to her.

---

My Dearest Bucky,
I don’t even know where to send this letter or if you will even want it. I still remember the words that you said last night and the promises you made. Yet I cannot help but fear that those were just words said fed by the passion of last chances. We have known each other for the longest time and yet I feel as though last night was the first time that we had truly met. How did I miss you becoming such a man? You clearly didn’t miss me becoming a woman. But I am not writing you this letter to question and vent the inner workings of our minds. I am writing to tell you that; I am your girl still and that I always will be. I will wait for you to come back to me like you promised or I will wait until you tell me that I am no longer your only girl. If those sweet words that we exchanged meant nothing to you then please tell me now. I will write no more today and will patiently await your response.
Yours truly,
Lilian

---

I sat on my bed staring at the letter I held in my hand. I had written it yet I didn’t know how to get it to him. Maybe Steve would know? I was pondering the chances of getting the information to from Steve when a soft knock came from outside my room. I stuffed the letter under my pillow quickly.

“Come in” I answered meekly.

My mother entered, her face soft and full of concern.

“Mother I…” I started. She raised her hand to cut me off. She set beside me on the bed and placed a gentle hand on my knee.

“My sweet child” she whispered “a child no more yet still filled with a girl’s foolishness. I know the choice that you made last night.” I opened my mouth to speak but she stopped me. “We will not talk about it. Ever. We will not tell your father. It will be as if it never happened.”

“But mother” I spoke disparate to make her understand “I love him and I believe that he loves me!”

“My foolish girl. This what you are feeling is not love. You are too young for him, for this kind of life. All the other girls around you throw their hearts to these dashing young men in military uniforms. I had hoped that you would be smarter but clearly you were not. I can’t change that now but what I can do is make sure that you make no more of their mistakes. This is not love. This is nothing more than an infatuation. You will find some other boy.” She assured me patting my knee where her hand rested.

“No!” I exclaimed “I will never hold the hand of another guy! I love him mother. I don’t care what you say. I love him! And I will wait until the day he returns to me!”

My mother stood up and began to walk out my room. She got half way to the door before she turned around and looked at me.

“I shall tell your father that you are feeling ill. I suggest that you stay in here until you can calm down and come to your senses.” She commanded.

I waited until after she left before I pulled out the letter again. Clutching the letter I curled up in a ball crying silently tears.

I love him. I love him. I love him. I repeated over and over again. I held the letter tight as I thought about the night before. About how my heart had felt the moment he kissed me, the moment we were alone, the moment we were together. I thought about the way he said my name. The way he had looked when laid me on the bed.

Oh Bucky, come home to me soon.

Notes

Ok so here it is. I am trying to go along with a theme for titles, which would be um they go along with songs. I'll put a link to this song at the end of this as well. I would like to continue with that theme but it all depends on if I can continue to find songs that inspire me.

I know that part of this may seem very over dramatic especially on Lilian's part but I just tried to think about how Sex wasnt the big thing that is is today. I mean now sex is every where and young people have sex without ever really thinking about love. Yet I don't think that for this time period (1945) I respectable young lady would have sex unless she was in love with her partner ( of course a respectable young lady would wait till the wedding but...)

Anyways I know I'm rambling so just one more point. I wanted to make the mother understanding yet I felt like she also needed to be firm. So thats what i came up with.

I hope yall enjoy it and that I can continue to take this story forward!

Ps- here's the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=la-9kUFPsRg