Loki x Reader - Give Me Love

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 18

***

There was still something in the back of your mind that told you to stay alert. This wasn’t the first time he’d been kind, and if history were to repeat, then his bad side would come back with a vengeance soon... Because, really, what was he? He was your captor, your ruler, your master, your saviour, your tormentor.... and now? Just what was he to you now? He was still too distant and cold for a lover, but too gentle and kind for a Master... Just what was he to you...?!

***

When the song ended, Loki pulled away.

“Come with me...” he said while gingerly placing his arms around your waist.

“Where are we going...?” You murmured, but the raven haired man ignored your question. You had half expected him to lead you to the bedroom, but he didn’t. He led you to the elevator, and took you to the level above the lounge room. The whole ride up, he never removed his arm from your waist. It was both soothing and unnerving...

When the doors opened, you were surprised... It felt more homely than the other level – and also more expensive at the same time. There were small tables, filled with knick-knacks and various books, comfortable looking leather chairs and lounges; a curving staircase sat along one wall that disappeared behind a wall of trickling water, as well as a - - you knees almost went weak when you saw it. A large, polished grand piano sat at the far end of the room, raised on its own level with a slick, black bar behind it. Loki busied himself trying to get all of the lights to work, and you took that chance to walk towards the piano.

Your hand skimmed over the silky, polished black body and you breathed in the lightly wooden scent. During your first year of high school, the music department had splurged to buy a baby grand piano – and once they did, you and your friends would spend your lunch times inside either playing or just chatting... A small nostalgic smile pulled at your lips. Of course by the end of the year someone had broken into the room and broke the piano... The happy smile slowly slipped away, replaced with an almost bitter scowl.

“Can you play?” Loki asked, making you jump slightly and turn towards him.

“I-I-uh...” your stuttering trailed off as you met his green gaze. “I used to play when I was younger... but I haven’t played in years...” You turned slightly, lifted the keylid and pressed down on a key. “I honestly don’t know if I’d remember everything...” You said while turning back to Loki. The raven haired man looked over his shoulder to the ascending staircase, and then back to you.

“Play for me?” he asked while stepping up to you. For a second you hesitated, but Loki quickly guided you to sit down on the small, creaking seat in front of the piano.

Hesitantly you looked to Loki before turning your attention back to the ivory white and ebony black keys. Your fingers slowly slipped across the cool surface, it had been years since you had played. School, work and life continued to get in the way... but you were happy to find that your muscles and hands seemed to remember what to do. You started off with a few familiar, yet nameless tunes that eventually morphed into Clair De Lune – though, you weren’t quite sure how it happened... Suddenly your mind began to drift away; you the pressure of the keys beneath your fingertips, but your mind in another place, another familiar and unwanted memory... The hours upon hours blasting music in your headphones to block out the screaming match between your mother and her boyfriend... You took a deep breath as your eyes slowly drifted shut. You could feel the softness of your mattress beneath you, the light plastic keyboard on your lap, and the sounds of rustling papers around you. By the age of ten, simply listening to music did little good – you had to distract your mind as well as your ears, so you saved for months to buy a second hand keyboard and guitar... The guitar lasted two months before it was broken in a drunken rampage, but you had managed to hide the plastic piano under your bed...

“Why did you stop playing?” Loki asked, snapping you out of your memory.

You quickly turned to him with wide eyes.

“Huh?” he glanced down to your unmoving hands and then back to his eyes. “Oh... Right... Um...” how to explain it... “Just... remembering some... stuff...” you said uncertainly. The back of his hand trailed over your cheek,

“Are you tired?” he asked. You quirked a brow and slightly shifted away from his touch,

“No, not really.” A small smirk quirked at Loki’s lips,

“Good...” he stood and walked around the small seat, making sure to snag your hand, before heading towards the stairs, “I would have been disappointed if I had to wait another night.” Suddenly your heart began to race. ‘Wait another night’? Was he... Did he... did he want sex? You hadn’t forgiven him... but you had said you could work through it all... but... but you weren’t ready for sex! You blinked once and your mind took you back to that night. Your body pushed into the cool metal bars as Loki forced his way into you multiple times; the burning pain of your nether regions and, well... everywhere, and the image of Thor distorting into the shape of The Teacher. You bit down hard on your tongue, hoping it would keep you from throwing up...

You were so wrapped up in your own mind, that you didn’t even notice that Loki had led you up the stairs to the master bedroom. You just managed to notice Loki pull away and close the door, but that didn’t stop you – in fact, you continued to walk until you ran into the corner of the bed, but you were too numb to feel the shooting pain in your shin and foot.

“Dove...” he purred while slowly pulling on the skirt of your dress. A choked sob left your throat, but you quickly covered your mouth, trying to take it back, but it was too late. You saw Loki’s jaw clench tightly and he glared at you for a moment, making your breathing all but stop. But then he did something you didn’t expect; he pulled back. “Undress...” he ordered softly. You stopped the whimper in your throat and held back the tears as you pushed the straps from your arms and allowed the green dress to pool around your feet.

Loki reached forward, but just before his hand made contact with your skin, he stopped and slowly moved his hand over the air around your body. The raven haired man slowly stepped towards you while twirling his fingers in your hair.

“Lay down on the bed.” He said. You bit your lower lip, attempting to stop it from quivering. Loki wrapped his arm around you and kissed the top of your head. “Sit on the bed if it would make you more comfortable...” he murmured before releasing you.

You stumbled forward and you sat down on the edge of the bed. Loki leaned down until your eyes were level,

“Tell me to stop, and I will.” He said before slowly moving forward to press his lips to your own. Your hands found his shoulders, wanting to stop him from moving too quickly. His hands came to rest on either side of your hips, giving him the best and easiest position to slowly lower you down onto the bed. At first you fought against his advance, but the straining muscles in your stomach began screaming, and you had no choice but to lay back. It’s okay... the only part of his body that was touching you was his lips... you could manage. Loki’s knee rested on the space of bed between your knees, and immediately your legs clamped shut. It’s okay... It’s okay! Slowly his hand moved to your upper thigh, his thumb slowly working its way towards your womanhood. No... No! You couldn’t continue – his touch brought back the pain, the memories...everything!

“N-No, wait-,” you pushed Loki away and quickly scampered to the other side of the bed, your limbs and torso trembling. “I-I can’t... I can’t.” you stuttered over and over until you felt tears well in your eyes.

“Dove...” Loki called softly. “I will not harm you...”

“But you did.” You murmured softly.

“I will not do it again...” he held out his hand, “come here...” You clenched your jaw tightly and eyed him cautiously.

“You said if I wanted you to stop, you would...” you mumbled. Loki supressed a sigh,

“Trust me.” He reached a little further forward, “Once more, please... Try for me...” he almost seemed like he was pleading – no. No, that couldn’t be right... You gazed into his emerald green eyes for a long while before you slowly shuffling into the middle of the bed.

He moved forward to kneel between your legs,

“Look at me...” when you couldn’t manage a reply, he sharply tilted your head up. “Tell me to stop, and I will. Whether it is halfway through, or near the end, tell me to stop, and I will....” You nodded,

“Okay...” you squeaked softly. Loki kissed from your forehead to the corner of your mouth.

“Lay down...” he said while gently stroking your (h/c) hair. A scared whimper left your lips. He cupped your cheek and quickly pecked your lips. “Lay down...”

“I-I...”

“Trust me.” Slowly you reclined, harshly gnawing and picking at the skin of your lips with your teeth.

Loki separated your legs. To stop your body from pulling away or legs lashing out, you clenched the sheets tightly.

“Breathe...” he said while running his hands up your thighs. His cool hands slowly made their way towards your exposed womanhood,

“S-Stop!” you stuttered loudly. Loki’s hands froze and he pulled away. Your eyes locked with his, and you took a calming breath before nodding. “Okay...” His fingers slowly trailed their way to your warm womanhood before he leaned forward and kissed down your thigh. When his tongue flicked your clit your breath hitched and you held back your need to moan. He did it again, only firmer than before, and your hips rolled forward abruptly. Hesitantly you reached down and tangled your fingers in his slicked back raven hair. That was when two of his fingers entered your slick folds. A moan caught in your throat and your back arched as your hips rolled forward.

“L-Loki...” you said breathlessly as your head fell backwards. He pressed his fingers deeper into you,

“Look at me...” he said quickly before returning to prodding and sucking on your clit. Your (e/c) eyes moved back down to him.

When your eyes met, he entered a third finger into you before recommencing his fast and deep movement. Your legs began to shake and you lost the ability to manage your breathing.

“Loki!” you gasped aloud when his mouth returned to your sensitive clit. Your back arced as your hips began to roll forward in time with Loki’s fingers. This was nothing like the last time with him... or the first... or any time in between. Every other time, Loki had been desperate for his own release, he ignored any orgasm you had and just continued pounding into you; but this time he was solely focused on you. Your hips slowly began to pick up speed, and you breathlessly moaned Loki’s name as his fingers brushed against a particularly sensitive bundle of nerves within your womanhood. “Oh God-!” You gasped sharply and allowed a groan to rumble in your throat. He used his free hand to massage your thigh and rub circled into your skin. How was he so damn good at this?! Only moments ago you were too terrified to let him touch you; and now you were a moaning, needy mess with his fingers inside of you and his mouth greedily sucking on your clit.

With one last flick of his tongue and movement of his fingers sent you over the edge. You moaned his name loudly as your body shook and convulsed uncontrollably. As you tried to catch your breath, Loki pulled away and kissed you deeply, bringing with him the taste of your own juices. You were slightly surprised... it didn’t taste bad... in fact it tasted pleasant – though that could have been because of Loki. Slowly he broke the kiss and moved to lie down next to you, his hand rubbing his covered, yet completely hard manhood. Suddenly nerves washed over you. Did he want actual sex now? He had pleasured you whole-heartedly, and now was he expecting you to lie back and let him take you? His free hand moved to your chin, gently pulling your eyes away from his member.

“You are still not yet comfortable, are you?” you opened your mouth to respond, but you couldn’t find the words, so you instead shook your head. “Then I will not yet ask it of you...” His hand moved from your chin to your hand and he led it to his throbbing manhood. “Would you be able to cope with this?” his voice turned gruff as your fingers gingerly ran along his clothed length. You nodded and unzipped his pants before you firmly took hold of his hard member and began pumping. He groaned as you tightened your hold on him, “I will only come when you tell me when too...” he huffed before pressing his lips to your own. He wanted you to tell him when to come? His tongue gingerly trailed your lower lip as his hand found the side of your neck and forced you deeper into the kiss. You bit back your smirk. Maybe this was going to be fun after all...

You added a second hand, and immediately Loki’s hips bucked forward.

“Faster,” he mumbled before slipping his tongue into your mouth. You rolled onto your side, allowing the tip to press into your lower abdomen, all while attempting to move your hands faster along his length. Loki’s hand skimmed up your side and roughly took hold of your breast. He teased and pinched your (colour) nipple, causing warmth to pool between your legs. When he leaned forward to firmly suck on the skin of your neck, a moan escaped your throat. Loki’s free hand tangled in your (h/c) hair before he pulled away, “Let me come.” He groaned, distress filling his tone. “(Name), Dove, please.”

“Not yet...” you said. Loki’s panting worsened as he rolled onto his back and clawed at the bed sheets.

“(Name)... (Name)...” he tightly shut his eyes. Suddenly you retracted your hand, and you watched as his manhood twitched and throbbed in wanton need. You sat up and swung your leg over his lap so you were straddling him.

You rubbed your still damp lower lips along the length of his manhood, but didn’t allow him to enter you. You enjoyed the sight of his pleasure filled face and the sound of his raspy moans.

“(Name), by the Gods, let me come.” You anxiously bit your lower lips and leaned down to press your chest to Loki’s. You weren’t sure how well what you were about to say was going to go over... but you wanted to try.

“Beg for it.” You said in a hushed tone as your hips added more pressure to his member. You could see the desperate need in his eyes.

“Please, my Dove, I beg of you... Let me come...” he tangled his fingers in your hair and he pressed his lips to your own. “Ah- please, my love, my darling... let me come and I will give you anything you ask, I will give you everything you ask!” You reached down and once again took his throbbing, heated member into your hand before you started pumping, harder than before,

“(Name), plea-,”

“C-Come for me...” Instantly Loki thrust forward, spraying his seed all over your stomach as he moaned your name.

Loki collapsed into the bed, his breathing ragged. In the moonlight you could just manage to see his heavy eyes locked on you. You released his now soft member, ran your fingers over your stomach to collect some of his semen, before you slowly licked your fingers clean. A low groan rumbled in Loki’s chest; he reached up and pulled you to lie atop him, the stirring warmth circling between the two of you was enough to fend off the cold air.

You both laid there for a minute as Loki tried to catch his breath.

“What I said was true (Name)...” he ran his thumb across your lips, wiping away a missed smear of his seed, before offering it to you. Slowly you parted your lips and ran your tongue along his thumb. “I will give you anything and everything you ask of me...”

“Fuck me...” you said mindlessly. Wait... What? You had noticed the warmth pooling between your legs when you were pleasing Loki... but were you really ready to give yourself to him once more?

“Do not tease me-,”

“I’m not... Please...” your voice caught in your throat. Apparently you were ready... He let out a tired sigh and moved the hair from your eyes.

“Not tonight...” Your mouth fell open. Had Loki just refused sex?

“Are you feeling okay?” you asked, Loki’s brows furrowed. “You’re not sick or something? I’ve never seen you refuse sex before...” The raven haired man chuckled and leaned up to kiss your forehead,

“I am spent. I have never had to hold on so long before, and because of that, I fear I will not be able to pleasure you in the way you deserve... for the rest of the night at least...” he finished with a smirk. You lowered your head onto his chest.

Laying a top Loki, completely bare and exposed was a new sensation... You knew that, if he wanted to, he could quite easily hurt or even kill you... You probably should have feared that idea more, but you didn’t... The constant yet slow beating of his heart and the warmth his body was offering was so incredibly soothing. Loki drew you out of your mind when he ran his fingertips along your spine.

“Tell me (Name)... Who was it...?”

“Who was what?”

“Who was the person who betrayed you?” Not this again...

“There have been lots of people who-,”

“Stop dodging the question and just tell me.” He said sternly. You bit your lower lip,

“My Grandfather... My father... at times, even my mother...” you took a deep breath and slowly released it. “Take your pick...”

“All of them... Tell me about all of them...” you glanced up to him for a moment.

“Why?”

“Because that was our deal.” You sighed softly and returned your head to his chest.

“I never knew my dad... My mum raised me pretty much on her own, though that’s not to say she didn’t have help from some family members, or drunken and useless boyfriends... One night one of them even beat her; I came home the next day and found all the bloody towels and clothes...” You paused for a moment to shake your head. “We used to move around a lot... I remember at one stage I would switch daily between my divorced grandparent’s houses and my mums...” you said with an almost nostalgic smile. “When I was seven my mum fell into a depression that-,” you paused and thought it over for a moment, “that I’m pretty sure she still has actually... I know she stopped taking the pills when I was thirteen because all they did was make her numb; but I don’t think she ever really got over (Jessabelle or Isabelle)’s death...”

“Who?” Loki asked with furrowed brows.

“My second-cousin – or something along those lines... She was older than me, and used to come and stay with us when she couldn’t go home... Though, that’s not to say our house was much better.” You breathed in deeply and sighed. “After she died – and my mum became a walking zombie, her boyfriend started taking advantage of it, and wasted all of her money on booze and meaningless shit with his fuck-faced friends.” You spat darkly. “After she stopped taking her pills, we moved back in with my grandmother; and if time had stopped there, I could quite happily say I would have been content for the rest of my life.”

“But it didn’t?” Loki asked. You smiled sadly and shook your head,

“Does life ever give anyone a break?” you asked rhetorically. “No... After being back with my grandmother for half a year, my aunt told us she was pregnant, and as soon as she gave birth, we lost our place in the house so she and her twin sons could have proper rooms, and were shoved into the converted tin shed in the backyard.” You paused for a moment, remembering the bitterly cold winter nights curled up in front of an electric heater on a freezing cement floor, and the disgustingly hot and sticky summer days that made it nearly impossible to breathe... “Eventually she distanced herself from everyone, and the next thing we knew, we were out on our asses because she sold the house from under us... We got on just fine without her for a while, but then a few years ago my grandmother died of cancer, and my mum blew up at my aunt and grandfather for not even bothering to call her... I somehow managed to get caught in the middle of it all, and it was made clear that my grandfather wanted no contact with me. A little while later he got sick, and when I tried to see him, I was sent away by his new wife...” You shifted slightly, “Around that time I finished high school and moved closer to New York for university/college with a friend...” you trailed off.

“That was what you dreamed of the other night...” Loki said to himself.

Your eyes widened and your head snapped up,

“How did you know that?” you sounded almost outraged, and to be honest, you had a right to be.

“After the first time, I thought it would be easier to simply watch your dreams...” Loki stated. You sighed irritably. The feeling that your privacy had been violated was the only thing on your mind. How could he do such a thing?! How would he feel if you waltzed in and watched some of his most vulnerable memories?! “I did it to know how you were feeling... and to check you hadn’t done anything to harm yourself...”

“Why would I harm my-,” you stopped. You did kind of blow up at the beach... and instead of sitting around with Loki you escaped to your room... He did have a cause for concern... but that didn’t make what he did any better! Your lips pursed, and you decided to continue your story. “Then, one night I was walking home with a small group of friends, we had risked going to a convenience store to stock up on supplies; of course there were none left... On the way home, a Chitauri soldier caught us – and when I say ‘us’, I really mean ‘me’ – and I was taken to Stark Tower...”

“I see...” he said while wrapping his free arm around you. “Dove, I will right all the wrongs I have done to you... You have my word.”

“Can I actually trust your word?” You mumbled.

“No... I have tried to keep my word since aligning with the humans, I found they require a show of loyalty before they themselves are willing to trust someone... however I find it incredibly difficult sometimes.”

“You kept your promise to The Teacher just fine.” You growled bitterly.

“Would his death bring you happiness? Because if it will, then I will gladly kill him.”

“You would do that, even though it could mean your subordinates would trust you even less than they do now?” Loki chuckled softly,

“You do not know the lengths I would go too to guarantee your faith and trust in me.” He said seriously. How far would he go? Talking about it was one thing, but when push comes to shove, what would he do; what would he be willing to sacrifice to protect you? You closed your eyes and nuzzled into Loki’s chest.

“He’s already gone... there’s no use in chasing someone who could already be dead...” you breathed in Loki’s scent, “I would settle for not seeing, hearing, or thinking about him for the rest of my life...”

“Then I will make sure of that...”

Notes

I’ve had people tell me that all anti-depression med’s do is make you numb. Is this true? If it isn’t, then I may need to rethink the last little bit of the story.

Uuuuuuum.... I promise we will be checking in with Thor next chapter (though that doesn't mean Reader chan and Loki will be returning to Stark tower yet) And also, we're nearly at the end of the second story arc! I've guessed it to be around chapter 21 that the third arc will start :3 - Oh! and there will be a few more smexy scenes before then, including the scene in the shower I promised everyone ;D

Youtube playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUc9_SfXsMBJAM-Rc0cNeBkLpxrs62Dhe
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That's right! I made a youtube playlist of all the songs! I'll probably add to it as I find new songs that fit, but for now there are around 25 songs. (Representing past, present and future chapters) I also made a playlist on 8Tracks, but the whole site was confusing, irritating, and the quality of some of the songs was really bad...

Anyone who can guess which character "Hurt" by Christina Aguilera represents gets a cookie - - it isn't as easy as you may think (I think... It could be super easy... I don't know... :P)

Comments please!! Throughout the whole process of this story, I've come to realise I am a comment addict (or comment whore, whichever you please). So, dear Reader-chans, FEED MY ADDICTION AND COMMENT PLEASE!!! :D


Also, I hope to update again by or before Wednesday. I feel really bad that I made everyone wait so long for this chapter... You're not mad... are you? Q-Q