Loki x Reader - Give Me Love

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 33

***

“S-Sire... there.... there’s something you have to see...” the girl said.

“What? What is it now?” Odin groaned.

“It’s about the Midgardian...”

“What about her?” Loki asked his attention firmly on the girl.

***

*Your POV*

Everything felt stiff... You knew you were conscious, but you couldn’t muster the strength to move your arms, or even try to sit up. You could hear the hushed whispers of someone... Who was it...? You focused on the voice, using it as an anchor to keep you alert to the waking world...

“You will be the one to tell her.” Thor’s voice warned.

“I know...” Loki replied. Loki... Loki! Now you tried to fight against your body’s need for rest. You felt your hand shift against the silky bedsheet, and suddenly, even with your eyes closed, you could feel their gazes on you.

“(Name)...?” Loki asked.

“Even when I’m asleep you two argue...” you mumbled, your voice cracking and hoarse. Just how long had you been asleep...? You heard Thor mumble something to Loki, however you couldn’t focus on it, the simple movement of sitting up occupying almost all of your concentration. There was an unusually strong stabbing pain in your lower abdomen, though the rest of your body felt the same, making you wince. In the time it took you to sit up, Thor had left the room, leaving you and Loki alone. “What’s going on...What happened?” You asked, glancing up to Loki. He opened his mouth, but hesitated. “Loki?” His hand ran over your hair and for several minutes you were both silent.

“(Name)... I’m sorry... it didn’t work.” Your brows furrowed.

“What didn’t work?”

“I thought if it was removed, you’d get better... It allowed you to wake up... but you are weaker...”

“Loki.” You cut in, “What are you talking about?”

“I...” he let out a deep breath and lowered his gaze.

“Tell me what happened.” You pleaded. Loki’s green eyes met your own (e/c) ones.

“Very well...” he mumbled. Something in his eyes told you he wasn’t happy... Sadness and hesitation lingered in his emerald orbs... It made you nervous... “(Name)... they found.... something...” he mumbled.

“Something?” you asked. He nodded.

“I told them to remove it... I thought it would make you better... but it really made no difference...” Your brows furrowed slightly. You were still sick... but a little better... So why did he look so sad...? You opened your mouth to speak, but Loki beat you to it. “(Name), what they removed from you didn’t have anything to do with your illness... It helped to deplete your energy... but it was not the cause of it...” Your brows furrowed.

“What was it then...?” He sighed softly and lowered his gaze.

“A child... our child...”

You froze; your mouth a gape slightly and a cold sweat spreading over your skin.

“(Name)...?” Loki asked.

“No... No I don’t believe you.” You mumbled. “I took a test... I took a test and-... and...”

“And...?”

“And then you showed up... and I didn’t see the results...” you said in a small voice. You were still shocked and your mind was filled with a thousand and one thoughts... How come you didn’t realise...? You’re supposed to be a mother... so how could you not notice?! After several minutes of silence, you finally said something. You said the only thing that stuck in your mind at the minute, even if you didn’t want to know the answer... “How big was he?” you asked. Loki sighed,

“It was only about seven weeks along (Name)...” he mumbled. “It was just bigger than about a blue berry...” A cold shudder ran through your back, and you tried not to let out the choked sob that was slowly forming in your throat. Seven weeks... It could have been from the night in the cells – nausea settled in your stomach just thinking of it – or it could have happened while you were at the beach house... No, it didn’t matter when it happened, it happened, that was all that mattered. You were pregnant... Were... Past tense... The bab- It had to be removed. No, wait it didn’t... removing it didn’t help you much at all... Your chest began to tighten, and you could hear the unfamiliar machines you were hooked up to start to beep more and more often. “(Name)...?” Loki asked as he took a seat on the edge of the bed. He reached for your hand, but you ripped it away before he had a chance to touch you.

“Get out...” you whispered softly.

“(Na)-.”

“Get out!” you yelled, throwing a pillow at his face, almost knocking him off of the bed. So many emotions ran through you. Pain, anger, loss, sadness... It overwhelmed you, and unfortunately for Loki; he was the only one there to take the blame...

*Loki’s POV*

He chose to stay away after the small blow up... Two days he spent just walking aimlessly in the palace; occasionally stopping at the doorway to check on (Name); though he never went inside. He eventually took to holding up in the library; attempting to get away from everything, and everyone - - that is until Frigga called on him...

Slowly he knocked on the queen’s door. He almost felt like he was a child once more, being called upon by his parents for punishment...

“What would you like?” he asked as he entered the room.

“To speak with you.” She replied with a warm smile. Loki suppressed his need to roll his eyes.

“About what?”

“(Name).” she answered simply; causing Loki to immediately turn tail and attempt to escape the queens chambers - - however she was faster than Loki, and locked the door with magic.

“Loki-,”

“Mother, do not.” He warned.

“Go to her, Loki.”

“No.” he said stubbornly.

“Loki.” she tried again; her voice a little softer this time. “... Losing a child is a hard thing to cope with-,”

“She didn’t even know she was pregnant.” He stated, almost like a child who was attempting to lessen the consequence of his actions.

“That doesn’t matter Loki.” She warned. “You took the choice away from her.” Loki glanced away. He just wanted to save her... to fix her... but all his effort meant nothing... Frigga gently turned Loki’s gaze back to meet hers. “She will forgive you... I am sure she will... She just needs time to process everything...”

“I can’t face her yet...” he said. Frigga sighed softly,

“Then take a moment... another day or two to straighten everything up...” He nodded, taking a moment to glance out the large balcony doors. He would love to be able to walk around the town; away from the palace, away from his troubles... but because of the damn magical tether he couldn’t. He sighed irritably and turned to continue talking to Frigga, but an old book caught his eye before he had a chance. He stood and made his way over to her desk.

“Why do you have this?” he asked, running a hand over the book.

“I was looking for a solution...” she said. He raised a brow.

“This is old magic. How could it possibly be of use?” Frigga moved to stand beside him, and flipped a few pages over, before she pointed to a small passage.

“Vindi: a bond that lasts the ages. It can save one, but cannot prevent injury or sickness for both when it is inflicted to the base.” Loki raised a brow,

“What?” he asked.

“I’m not entirely sure either... I have looked for anything else referencing a ‘Vindi’, however I have yet to find anything that actually describes it... The best we have to go on is that it can save...” she said, irritation stirring under her calm demeanour. It had been irritating the queen for a while, and she couldn’t find an answer to it...

“That’s what I’ll do then...” Loki finally said, pulling Frigga out of her head.

“You’ll do what dear?”

“Find it. Find what it is, and how to use it.” He said.

“Loki, I have been through the library countless times. You know the layout well, but I know it better. There is no book that holds any information about a ‘Vindi’ but this one.” She said, patting the page of the book.

“You looked in the palace library... but not in the catacombs underneath the dungeons.” Frigga’s face went slightly pale, and a serious expression crossed her face.

“Loki, do not even joke about going to such a place. Your father sealed that room for a reason. It is filled with many items that hold dark magic. It is too dangerous.” She warned. Loki didn’t answer, he didn’t raise his gaze to look at her, nor did he appear to be breathing... The queens brows furrowed and she reached forward to touch his arm. That was when she found that the Loki before her was not real - - her hand passed through his arm, which turned to mist, slowly consuming the whole body of the duplicate before he was nothing but a swarming mass of mixed colours. The queen sighed, “Be safe you stubborn idiot...” she mumbled.

*Your POV*

Days passed and all you seemed to do was stare endlessly at the ceiling, or occasionally take a few mouthfuls of food and water - - followed by a slew of pills and medication... Since Loki left you hadn’t spoken to anyone... you hadn’t even looked at anyone... You felt numb and violated all at the same time, which was an all too much of a familiar and unwanted feeling... You didn’t think it was possible to actually go through life not thinking or feeling a single thing; but there where hours on end when that happened...

A gentle knock came from the door.

“What...?” you called dully, not even bothering to take your eyes off of the blank wall in front of you. The door clicked open and you heard footsteps slowly get closer. It was too early to be lunch... and breakfast had already arrived... The nurses and doctors didn’t bother knocking either... so who was it? You turned slightly. Thor. Of course it was Thor... Your heart ached for Loki, and every time Thor popped in to see you, it was only made worse... Your brows furrowed. He had only ever stopped at the door before, obviously nervous or uncomfortable. This time he actually stepped into the room...

“(Name)...” he said. You hummed softly, acknowledging his presence. “(Name).” he repeated; this time your eyes actually focused.

Concern lingered in Thor’s eyes; and suddenly it became all too much. The weight of everything on your shoulders finally broke your bones and forced you down to the ground. Your vision became blurry, and you could feel the cold sting of tears streaming down your cheeks. Everyone, everyone, had avoided your gaze since you had forced Loki out of the room... You had chosen to do the same... it was easier to pretend they weren’t there; easier to block them out than think for a minute that someone in a realm that had only brought you sadness and discontent, could actually care... No... No, that was stupid... Loki cared... Didn’t he? By the time you were actually able to process why you were crying, Thor had already stepped forwards, taken a seat beside you, and wrapped his muscular arms around you. You leaned into him slightly and sobbed softly into his chest. He gently stroked your matted hair and hushed you, though you both knew it wouldn’t do much good... You just need to cry... and so you did...

***

You cried... You didn’t even know how long you cried for, but once you were done, you felt like you wouldn’t be able to cry another tear for the rest of your life... Thor stayed with you for the entire time, almost like a giant teddy bear... It calmed you a little to have someone with you, but something didn’t feel quite right. You felt like you were betraying Loki... but you just wanted someone to hold you... Why had you told Loki to leave...? You sighed softly and rested a little more weight on Thor. Crying was exhausting... You felt tired all the time, but today it was worse than ever... Thor gently stroked you hair and coaxed you to sit up. A maid entered the room with two trays of food, one just had the food, and the other had an array of pills and medications... yay... Thor softly patted your head.

“It’ll make you feel better especially seeing as we missed lunch...” You didn’t reply to him; you only nodded silently. Since you had woken up, you hadn’t been hungry much at all... However you knew Thor wouldn’t accept that at the moment. The maid passed Thor one tray, and placed yours on your lap.

“Two of these, one of those, and one of those.” She said, pointing to the various pills and potions. You sighed softly and nodded, already knowing what to take... For some reason they found it necessary to say it every time they dropped off food... Thor began to shovel the food into his mouth, and you began to slowly nibble on it before moving on to taking the medication.

“(Name), I know this will be a delicate subject... but... What would you have chosen...?” Thor asked. Your chest clenched, and you where honestly surprised your heart managed to continue beating.

“I... I don’t know...” you mumbled. He gently stroked your hair,

“You were angry with Loki for deciding what he did...”

“I know...” you mumbled again. “But I just don’t know... It’s easy to speculate... but... I just...” He sighed softly and hugged you gently.

“It’s okay...” he said. “Given the circumstances, I think it’s okay to be indecisive or confused... I’ve been confused for most of my life.” He said with a dopey grin. You giggled softly as you turned to face Thor, and for a single moment in time, everything seemed happy... the weight on your shoulders was gone, and you could breathe easily... Your eyes locked with his, and the next thing you knew, his lips gently locked with yours. One of his large hands settled on your neck and warm shudder ran up your spine - - something you soon realised was Thor’s other hand. He held you firmly for a moment before slowly releasing you. “I’m sorry...” he mumbled.

“I-It’s fine...” you replied, slightly breathlessly.

“You already know how I feel... I just want you to be happy...” he said. You bit your lower lip softly.

“Thor, I-,”

*Loki’s POV*

Loki had buried himself in the catacombs, and for every moment, Frigga had worried about him, fearing for his safety and soul should he come across something he shouldn’t... She would check on him every so often, but it eventually came to a point that he had become lost to her wihin the twisting and turning rooms within the section. The only good thing that came from it was that Odin didn’t become too suspicious... if he had, he would have kicked Loki out immediately. However, after a few days passed, Frigga delved deeper into the room, deciding that Loki had taken enough time and needed to get back to normal life...

She found Loki nearly in the centre of the labyrinth like maze of halls and rooms, the prince was surrounded by piles and piles of books. He was slightly paler than usual, and bags lined the bottom of his eyes. The queen sighed softly.

“Dear.” She said, getting his attention, though it was only for a moment before he turned back to his books.

“What can I do for you?” he asked.

“Loki... you need to go see her.”

“No, no.” he said, not once looking up from the book in his lap. “I am so close. It’s taken three days, but I’ve narrowed it down to two books.” He said, flipping the page over.

“Loki.” Frigga said sterner, forcing the prince to look up, exhaustion in his eyes. She sighed softly and calmed herself before kneeling down beside her son. “She lost a child-,”

“I know, that is why I’m doing thi-,” the warning glance from Frigga stopped Loki midsentence.

“and so did you.” She finished. Loki froze, and his heart nearly stopped. “You may not have seen it that way at the time... but you did...” She gently ran her fingers over his hair, noting he needed to wash it.

“I didn’t know...” he whispered. “I checked... I swear I checked and there was no child...” She gently rubbed his back. “It was sucking the life out of her... what was I supposed to do...?” he asked.

“You did what you thought was right...” she said softly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed softly. “Go to her.” She said. He sighed again,

“Fine.” He grumbled before reluctantly standing up and heading off. Frigga picked up the two books that remained open before leaving the underground maze.

***

It took Loki nearly half an hour to travel a distance that should have only taken fifteen minutes; that was partially due to his need for a shower... but in reality, what took up most of the time was his dawdling... He was honestly afraid of seeing (Name) again... He didn’t want to be rejected by her again... he didn’t want to leave her alone any more... He sighed heavily as he reached the door to her room. That was when he heard the voices from the other side.

“You already know how I feel... I just want you to be happy...” he – Thor – said.

“Thor, I-,” Loki chose that moment to step into the room; not wanting to hear her answer - - knowing it would only cause the pain in his chest to worsen.

“Sorry to interrupt your touching little moment.” Loki spat bitterly.

*Your POV*

“I didn’t know he would be here. If I did, I would have given the two of you a minute or two.” Loki snarled from the doorway. How must this have looked? You were in bed with Thor, sharing dinner... and he had just kissed you...

“Someone had to be here. You certainly weren’t.” Thor argued.

“I would have been if she didn’t send me away!” Loki yelled.

“Loki-,”

“I wanted to give you time (Name). I stayed away just as you asked. But it appears I have given you too much time.” He growled before turning to leave.

“Loki!” you yelled, causing your voice to crack. He stopped in the door way.

“What?” he asked turning slightly.

“I... I don’t know...” you mumbled. “I just don’t want you to leave...”

“Why? You have him.” He growled.

“Loki, stop it... please...” you swung your legs over the edge of the bed and attempted to make your way over to him, however your own weak body, and all the IV’s and cords connecting you to the various machines stopped you quickly, forcing you down to the ground.

The tiles of the floor were icy cold compared to the warmth of the bed you were accustomed to. It almost seemed to singe your flesh it was so cold... Maybe it was a mistake...Maybe following Loki was a mistake... Since arriving the predominant feeling you had felt was hurt and pain... was it worth it? Yes, okay, you were the one who sent Loki away, which only served to heighten your loneliness in the long run... but still... Strong hands settled on your shoulders, before they slipped to your waist and lifted you up. You had honestly expected it to be Thor, but it wasn’t. Loki was the one who lifted you up and carried you back to the bed. Clearly Thor had moved to do the same, considering he was standing, his food long forgotten, but Loki probably glared him away.

He set you back down on the bed, moving the trays of food away before turning to Thor. Just by the look in his eyes you could tell Loki wanted Thor to leave; however the God of Thunder seemed reluctant to leave. They were both so stubborn...

“It’s fine, Thor...” you said. He was hesitant for a moment, but after you offered him a smile, he nodded and left the room. You felt bad for Thor... He only ever tried to help... but he didn’t get anything out of the whole situation... You really did care for him... but... You turned back to Loki. Simply seeing Loki sad or jealous made your heart ache...

“(Name), I want to talk about what happened.” He said once he was sure Thor was gone.

“No, Loki, we don’t have too...” you said quickly.

“(Name)...” he said.

“Loki, please-,”

“No...” he stumbled around for words for a moment before speaking once more. “I know you do not agree with what I chose... but please... let me show you why.” He said, offering you his hand.

“Loki...” you said uncertainly.

“Please.” He said once more. You sighed before placing your hand over his palm. His cool fingers curled around your hand as pale green, mist-like magic consumed them.

You could hear some form of mumbling in the distance. Your brows furrowed and you tightly squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block it out - - however it only made the voices louder. When they opened again, you found yourself standing in the healer’s room, along with multiple nurses, Loki, Thor, Frigga and even Odin. They were all - - they were all standing around you... Well it wasn’t ... Well it wasn’t you, you; it was another you... laying in a bed, sickly, pale, thin and hooked up to even more machines than you already where...

“How did you not realise this before?!” Loki growled.

“I-,” a nurse, started, but faltered under Loki’s intense gaze,

“We scanned her brain and heart. We had no reason to so the same to any other part of her body. It was only when her heart began to slow and her blood pressure dropped that we became suspicious.” The head nurse stated, sensing the young girls unease.

“Does that mean she does not have the illness Heimdall claimed to recognise?”

“No... It merely means that the child added to the stress on her body, and has helped to deplete what little energy she has... and that the child is the reason she has not made any type of improvement...” Loki sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“What will happen?” he asked. “Will it continue to drain her life?”

“Yes...”

“If she didn’t have the child, would she be able to beat the illness?” he asked.

“Possibly... It would allow her body to retain the energy, and nutrients...”

“Then you have to get rid of it,” he said, shocking most of the people in the room.

“Brother, it is not your decision.” Thor said.

“Who’s decision should it be then? Yours? His?” he asked, gesturing to Odin.

“It should be (Name)’s decision.” He said.

“She hasn’t been awake for days, and even if she had been, she is in no state to make a decision like that.”

“There is another option...” another nurse said hesitantly.

“What would that be?” Loki asked sceptically.

“The baby could continue to grow-,”

“Are you suggesting using her as a human incubator?” he snarled.

“The child would survive.”

“At the cost of her life, right?” he asked.

“There is no definite answer... she could survive as well...”

“By the time the child is viable, she would be too weak. She would be living off of the child’s life force. Take it away, and she would die.” He growled.

“Loki, calm down...” Frigga warned. “You should think about it before you decide-,”

“No, I’ve made my decision. Save her. Remove the child... just save her...” He said to the healers. The vision began to fade away, before you were once again sitting in front of Loki.

“I thought what I did would save you... I thought what I did was the best option... I couldn’t sit by and watch as you withered away...” He glanced away, his hair covering his face; though it didn’t stop you from seeing the glistening tears run down his cheeks. You cringed as you leaned forward to wrap your arms around his shoulders.

“Don’t cry...” you said softly.

“I’m not.” He insisted stubbornly. You sighed and gently pulled him to lay down beside you - - mainly because the stiffness everywhere made it more than unpleasant to remain hunched over for even a short while. “(Name)-,”

“Stay with me.” You said. “Don’t leave...”

“I only left because you told me too...”

“I’m a woman; I say the opposite of what I actually want to test you...”

“That’s stupid.”

“I know.” you mumbled as you made yourself comfortable on Loki’s chest. His fingers gently tangled in your hair.

“If you say the opposite of what you want, doesn’t that mean you want me to leave?” he teased softly. You could hear the slight smile on his lips.

“No. Because you were too stupid to figure it out, I have to lower the level of my mind games...” He chuckled softly.

“(Name)...” he mumbled.

“Yeah...?”

“Do you hate me...?”

“No... Not really...” you replied,

“Wait, what?” he asked. “Not really?” he asked, sitting up a little, concern evident in his voice. You smiled slightly and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

“It was a decision that had to be made...” you said, resting your head back on his chest. “If I had to make it...” you stopped. “I don’t even think I could make it...” you could feel tears fill your eyes once more, and your lower lip tremble uncontrollably. Loki tightened his hold on you and he gently rubbed your back. You really didn’t want to cry again... You didn’t think it was possible for you to cry any more... but somehow you did... and Loki stayed with you for the entire time. Eventually you could feel your eyes becoming heavier and heavier as your tears began to slow. After everything that happened over the span of a single day, you were exhausted... You hadn’t done this much in what felt like weeks, and it had finally caught up with you.

Notes

Um... So... did anyone see that coming? Did anyone get emotional? I'm a rather cold person, and the only time i've ever been effected by my own writing was a oneshot... so I have no idea if any of the reactions are realistic or good... or feels filled... so please tell me!!!!!
gaaah I suck at sticking to schedules... It's been about three weeks since I updated this, and around two and a half since I updated in general... That isn't too bad... is it...? Also, I think this chapter is a little longer than usual... Maybe? Though it did jump around quite a bit... :/
Now, I wont be able to get much done this weekend, because I'm going away. But I already have quite a bit pre-written. So shall we say the same time in two weeks for the next update? Also, I've started playing Dungeons and Dragons (yaaaay), and I may be getting a horse... So... There is quite a bit to keep up with... BUT BUT BUT this term is really short, around 6-7 weeks in total are left, then I'm on break until February/March. So I will be able to once again start pumping out chapters more and more for all my series and all new series as well.
Tell me what you think please~!!!