Loki x Reader - Give Me Love

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 34

***

Eventually you could feel your eyes becoming heavier and heavier as your tears began to slow. After everything that happened over the span of a single day, you were exhausted... You hadn’t done this much in what felt like weeks, and it had finally caught up with you.

***

Time passed slowly for you. After that day you were barely able to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time. During that time however, you were able to move around a little - - with help from Loki of course. You could sense that it irritated Odin, especially seeing as he made an active effort to avoid your presence at all costs… Tension in the palace slowly began to rise between everyone; well… actually no… it was mainly between Loki and Odin… and Loki and Thor… and Loki and, well, pretty much everyone…

“Something is worrying you…” Loki softly said, a tingling shudder running down your spine as he did.

“N-No… There’s nothing bothering me…” you said, shifting your weight around slightly. Loki was standing behind you; his arms on either side of you helping to keep you steady, aided in part by the thick, cool, stone guardrail of the balcony.

“(Name).” he said sternly. Evidently he didn’t believe you… You glanced down to the bustling town below the palace. It was nice to see other people again, even if it was at a distance. You shook your head. Loki sighed irritably, and you could almost feel the air around him grow cold.

“You will never forgive me then?” he asked. You glanced back, brows furrowed,

“What are you talking about?”

“The child.” He said. “You still hold anger and resentment towards me.” He was being an idiot. You rolled your eyes.

“Loki, stop this now before an argument starts.” You said, the very idea of arguing exhausting you more than you already were. You’d been out about half an hour, and your body was already growing heavy.

“Then what was it?!” he demanded, moving to stand at your side. Don’t lean back. You’ll over balance and fall over, again.

“Am I not allowed to just think?” you growled before turning and attempting to head back to your room. You stumbled more than once in the space of a few seconds. You sensed Loki move closer to you, but you forced your body to obey and move without his aid - - albeit slower than you’d hoped. Why? Why did he linger on it? Why did he feel it necessary to bring it up…? Initially you were inconsolable about the loss… but as time passed, you began to realise more and more that you, and Loki, were in no way shape or form ready for a child… You were upset about it in some ways, but relieved in others… Though that didn’t mean you were happy to continuously drag it up, or be assumed to only ever think about it…. You sighed, sickness building in your stomach. Every time you thought about it, about the child, about Loki hanging so desperately onto it, it made you feel so sick… You continued down the halls, receiving a few stares from the servants… It wasn’t anything new… You were accustomed to it…

*Loki’s POV*

He watched her leave, and it pained him to do so. But what else could he do really? It was clear to him, as misguided as it was, that she would not forgive him. She shouldn’t forgive him… What had he done to receive or deserve forgiveness? Nothing. What had he done to deserve and receive her hatred? Everything.

“Patience…” a voice called to him.

“Patience is not a virtue I have.” He said aloud, though he initially thought it was a voice in his head.

“It is something you will need to learn.” Loki clicked his tongue and turned away to follow behind the human woman, however an arm caught him and stopped his movements. He turned ready to abuse and yell at whoever it was that stopped him. “Do not turn away from me.” Frigga said softly yet sternly. Loki’s mouth fell open slightly.

“I did not-,”

“Exactly, you did not know, and you still do not know.” He said. “Do not assume to know her mind-,”

“I do.”

“No, you do not. You manipulated her mind and body to your own needs. All you know is she wanted to please you, and keep you happy. Now that she no longer feels frightened by you, you see how she really is, and you are afraid of losing her.” Loki’s lips formed a firm line, not wanting to admit such a thing. She gently stroked her youngest sons cheek. “Do not think she would leave you so easily… She has come this far, has she not?” she asked.

“By will? Or by force?” he said bitterly.

“By both,” Loki’s face visibly dropped, saddened to actually hear it. The queen sighed softly.

“Have you found any more about the Vindi?” Loki asked softly, trying to change the subject.

“No, not yet.” The prince nodded.

“I’ll continue looking for it then…” he mumbled before turning to head off. Frigga sighed and shook her head. “What?” Loki snapped. “What have I done wrong now?!”

“Loki-,”

“No, I am sick of everyone detesting me for something I thought would help.”

“Loki-,”

“No! I have been hated all my life, and now it feels like even she is turning against me!”

“Loki!” Frigga snapped, stopping Loki’s rant dead. “Enough.” She said softly. Loki looked defeated, exhausted and pained all at once… She had seen him like that a few times when he was younger and it could still manage to break her heart… He held his head in his hand. She stepped forwards and gently kissed his forehead, much like she did when he was younger - - only this time it involved stretching upwards. “She does not hate you. I do not hate you. Thor and your Father do not hate you, and do not ever think they do.” Loki was silent. He didn’t want to believe it… He couldn’t believe it… All the years of numbing himself to his so called family… All the years of hating his father and brother… He could not have wasted all his time, all his energy, and all his hate, just to be told his assumptions about them were wrong.

“Loki…” a soft voice called. Immediately his eyes snapped open and his head whipped up. (Name) was standing, leaning her weight against one of the great stone pillars, her eyes firmly locked on Loki. How long had she been there? How much had she heard…?

*Your POV*

You had turned around to get him and take him back to the room with you… you hated the idea of ending a conversation with an argument; and what you had heard only confirmed your worries. He felt the same as you did… He was worried and scared of how his actions impacted you and everyone else… However when you finally approached him, his eyes immediately lowered and he became standoffish.

“What do you want…?” he asked, seeming unhappy to see you. You were saddened to hear him make such a sudden and unexpected turn. You turned your gaze from him as your arms wrapped around your middle in an attempt to stay standing.

“Nothing…” you mumbled before turning around and leaving once more. It was a mistake. It was all a mistake. You shouldn’t have gone back. You shouldn’t have… As you walked you heard Frigga scolding Loki, but it didn’t make you stop, or slow, or even consider the possibility of turning around… Every time you tried… Every time you reached out to him, he would either turn to a marshmallow, or a rabid dog… and it was more often the latter. You just managed to open the heavy door to your hospital room before slipping inside and slamming it shut - - helped by the fact the door was so heavy in the first place.

Stumbling over to the bed, you took a seat and all of a sudden the presence of everything around you was gone; you knew you were sitting in the hospital bed, the machines beeping and making other noises… but you couldn’t see them, nor could you hear them properly, the noises muffled as if you had earmuffs on. You were just sitting, alone in a room darkened by drawn curtains; your heart breaking more and more with every beat it took. You couldn’t take it any more. The stress building between you and Loki was unbearable… How much longer could you keep this up; pretending you were okay when you so completely weren’t? The cool trail of tears ran down your cheeks, you vision blurring slightly. Would it just be easier to go back to Earth…? To forget everything that had happened…? You were sure there would have been some type of spell Odin or Frigga could use to wipe your memory… But then… could you actually do that to Loki…? Could you turn your back on him, like everyone else…? You were torn. Pulled in two directions, an unknown outcome for each road… What could you do…? What should you do?

“(Name)…?” Frigga called softly from the door. “Can I come in…?” she asked. You nodded, hearing what she said, but, then not at the same time. Her warm hand on yours was the thing that snapped you out of your stupor. “Loki is childish at the best of times, isn’t he…?” she asked with a smile, your lips quirked upwards slightly. Yes, yes he was. “Do you regret your decision?” she asked. You bit your lower lip. Did you…?

“I don’t know…” you mumbled. “Every time I try… It just gets worse…” She gently caressed your cheek.

“I very well may have blinders on because he is my son… but do not doubt his love for you… Doubt his maturity, but not his love…” she said with a small smile. Frigga was so warm and comforting, and was able to put you at ease with just a smile… how on Earth did Loki end up the way he did? Clearly he would have always had Frigga’s support and love… so why could he be so cold? “I can see you are still uncertain…” She said softly. “Come with me.” She helped you to your feet.

“Where are we going…?” You asked as she guided you out of the room.

“You’ll see.” She said, helping you to stand up.

She didn’t say much of anything on the walk through the halls, the only constant sound were the clicking of Frigga’s heels on the cold, marble floor. She came to a stop in front of a large double door. You’d probably walked only a few hundred meters, but you were already exhausted. You’d really thought you were tired before, but now you were just about ready to collapse.

“This is Loki’s room.” She stated, opening the doors and stepping through.

It was covered with books, parchments and other objects. The covers on the bed looked a mess, thrown haphazardly over the bed and half fallen to the floor. It looked like a mad mans room. Scribbles of a language you couldn’t read were all over pieces of paper, on book pages, and even on a small area of the wall. The curtains were closed, keeping in the warm air, causing it to almost suffocate you.

“What’s he doing…?”

“He’s searching.”

“For what?” you asked.

“For a cure for you.” She said. “The ailment afflicting you will not go away, and it will only get worse… You’ve noticed it in the past few days, haven’t you?” she asked. You had noticed… When you woke up, you barely felt like you had slept at all, and you had even begun nodding off during the limited time you were awake. You hated it… On more than once occasion you freaked out the moment you woke up because you didn’t remember falling asleep at all, or returning to bed; that was because Loki would be forced to carry you back to your room on some occasion. It was made worse by the fact that Loki sometimes wouldn’t be there when you woke up… You sighed. This ‘illness’ was more like torture… “He hates himself because he thinks that it is his fault for your ailment,” she said.

“But it isn’t.” you said almost instantly. “No one could have known.”

“He still blames himself; so he is almost killing himself trying to find an answer.” She said. Your head was swimming. You were so mad at him… but you weren’t at the same time… Damn it! You couldn’t focus. You couldn’t think straight! You hated it! A warm arm wrapped around you, and pulled you to a chest far stronger and broader than what Frigga would have had. You didn’t even have to look up. His scent was familiar to you in every way. Loki.

When you did look up, you could see he was a little shocked to see you in his room, and that his knuckles were slightly reddened, the skin broken in a few places, like he had hit something he shouldn’t have with extreme force. You rested your head and body against him, slowly put at ease by the warmth of his body and strong arms.

“Don’t run from me…”

“Don’t snap at me.” You replied.

“Then don’t lie to me.”

“Then don’t assume things.” You said sharply. “I don’t hate you; and when you just assume I do, all you do is irritate me.” You glanced up. The defeat in his eyes was obvious. He knew arguing his point would only cause more fighting… and he actually seemed to understand that he was making things up in his own mind that you weren’t feeling. “Is this where you’ve been going…?” you asked. Most of the time Loki would help you move around while you were awake, but as soon as you went to sleep, he would leave - - which he was completely within his rights to do, but he would always hide where he had been when you asked. At one stage you were afraid he was going off to be with other women; getting from them what he couldn’t from you. You had tried. You’d tried to have sex more than once, but the physical exhaustion was overwhelming, and you had fallen asleep before Loki was even hard… He nodded. “You’ve been looking for something to fix me?” he nodded again. “You don’t-,”

“Yes, I do.” He said. “You may not think it is my fault… but it is the least I can do after everything that’s happened…” You nuzzled into his chest softly with a sigh. “Can she stay here?” he asked Frigga.

“The machines that monitor her while asleep are in the other room… and I don’t think they would be able to be moved in here while the room is in such a state.” She said, glancing around to the mess in the room. “Take her back to the healers room Loki, I will have a maid clean your room and tomorrow you can both move in here.”

“Will Odin allow it?” Loki asked. Frigga smiled.

“Do you seriously think I cannot persuade your Father?” she asked. You smiled slightly, closing your eyes as you rested against Loki.

“Can you stay with me tonight?” you asked, even though it was barely three o’clock in the afternoon.

“Of course.” He said, gently patting your head.

***

Just as Frigga had promised, you were moved to Loki’s room. Obviously it had been done while you were sleeping because you woke up to Loki, reading in his large, soft, four-poster bed. The machines had been moved with you, and the various items and books had been sorted into two slightly unsteady piles in one corner of the room.

“Morning…” you mumbled sleepily. Loki glanced over to you for a moment with a smile.

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” You replied as you shifted over to rest your head on his lap. One hand moved from the book he was reading, to gently stroke your hair. “What time is it?”

“Seven.”

“In the morning?!” you asked, sitting up quickly. You regretted that immediately though, dizziness and nausea washing over your body. Loki gently guided you to lie back down. You glanced over to the window; it had been quite a while since you had seen the morning sun…

“At night.” And you would have to wait longer to see it again…

“Oh…” you mumbled. “I can’t believe I slept for over twenty-four hours…” You whispered softly. Usually you would sleep for fifteen to sixteen… but never a whole day…

“You slept through the whole day yesterday as well as most of the day today…” he said. “You were moved in here yesterday morning once they were finished cleaning…” he said. Your eyes widened slightly. It was getting worse… It was getting much worse… “Don’t worry,” he said, squeezing your shoulder. “I will find an answer.” You nodded slightly.

You didn’t bother asking to get up and go anywhere, the very thought making you want to sleep even more… Most of the night you spent your time listening to Loki read aloud, he refused to begin with, saying that he didn’t want to burden your mind with unnecessary information – and that he would only be reading one or two passages before moving on, making it hardly worth listening to – but after your insistence, he caved, settling to read the Nordic language instead of translating it. The fact you couldn’t understand what he was saying didn’t matter to you, the fact that he was there was enough to put and keep you at ease; well, for a short time... Just laying in bed and not getting up to move around allowed you to stay awake for longer than usual, which was a nice change; however the longer you stayed awake, the more your thoughts moved back through everything, which would have been fine if your mind could filter through the bad, only keeping the good… but it couldn’t, and you were only left with the bad and painful memories.

“Loki…” you mumbled. He stopped reading and glanced down to you. “I… I – um…” you sighed softly. “I want to talk… about… about the thing that happened…”

“Lots of things have happened (Name), you’re going to have to be a little more specific.” He said.

“The baby…” you nearly whispered. Loki tensed slightly, and you heard his breathing hitch.

“(Name), you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to talk about it… Don’t force yourself…” He almost seemed to plead with you.

“I don’t blame you Loki… I don’t hate you either… I’ve said it before that it was a decision that needed to be made… and I’m finally at peace with that…” you said softly. It was partially true… You didn’t blame him, you didn’t blame anyone… but it still hurt… You may not have been ready for something like that, but it would still take time to overcome.

“You are…?” he asked almost cautiously.

“Would you have actually wanted a baby in the current circumstances we have…?” you asked.

“No… Not really…” he mumbled. “Maybe one day… but not right now…”

“It wouldn’t have worked… And I guess the universe knew that, so it just wasn’t meant to be…” you mumbled. He smiled softly and leaned down to kiss you deeply. You were still conflicted about the whole thing… but you couldn’t hold it against Loki… He was just doing everything he could to save you, because he loved you… right…?

***

The next day, Loki shook you awake. You could feel his hand on you, and hear his voice in the distance, but you didn’t want to open your eyes.

“(Name).” he said sternly, finally forcing your eyes to crack open.

“What…?” you mumbled into the pillow.

“I found it.” He said.

“Found what…?” you asked.

“How to save you.” He said, you could hear the smile on his lips. Your eyes opened a little more. He was smiling, and clearly overjoyed, however you could barely manage to keep your eyes open let alone smile or sit up.

“How…?” you croaked.

“It’s a spell.” He said. “A seal that binds us together.” He explained. “There are a few criteria you need to meet for the seal to work...” Loki said, coaxing your eyes to stay open.

“Hmm? What would they be?” Nausea ripped through your stomach, but you pushed through the illness to listen to what Loki was saying.

“Body, Mind, Spirit,” Your brows furrowed slightly and your (e/c) eyes moved, finally finding enough strength to meet with Loki’s.

“What do you mean?” you asked, too exhausted to actually think over what he had said. He kissed your forehead.

“Don’t worry. I will handle it. Just stay here and rest.” He said. You nodded, already drifting back off to sleep.

*Loki’s POV*

Mind. Body. Spirit. Body was obvious. He had taken her more than enough times to know that was a completed component. Mind. Did she know how he thought? Well… yes. He thought she did. Did he know the same about her? Possibly, he just chose to ignore it most of the time as it was covered by the screaming sounds of his own mind. Spirit… Spirit… While they were apart, they were able to form a link that some couples need decades to forge right next to each other… Could they have already met the criteria…? If they had, then there could be no time to wait..

He had to get to Odin. The seal had to be performed by The Allfather and - - wait… No… he had to go to Frigga. Odin would turn him down straight away… But did he have enough time…? (Name) was deteriorating quickly… He suppressed a groan, stopping dead in the middle of the hallway to think. If he went to Frigga, then she would more then likely need time to convince Odin… She would need to think of a sly way to mention it to him and slowly sway his mind into allowing it… If he didn’t go to Frigga, then Odin would shut him down immediately. But it would give Frigga the moral high ground and probably make for quicker persuasion… He grit his teeth.

“My Lord…” A young maid called. He glanced towards her. She was petite, though her chest was ample, and her golden brown hair was pulled back into a tight bun. Her cleavage was clearly visible – a tactic used by most young maids to earn favour with the noblemen.

“What?” he snapped.

“Is there something I can do for you?” she asked. The innocent glint in her eyes told him that she didn’t understand the sexual undertones her statement could have had, but nevertheless that is what Loki wanted. He wanted her. He was stressed… He needed release… In one quick second his arm snagged the girls collar and forced her against the nearest wall. He heard her head hit the hard wall, her eyes glazing over slightly, on the verge on unconsciousness. The sound of tearing fabric filled the still air, and the next thing the dazed maid knew, her once covered chest was bare, cold air causing goosebumps to spread over her flesh, her nipples hardening at the same time. Loki smiled wickedly, using his teeth to tease the maid’s nipple further. “M-My Lord! Stop, please!” she yelled, struggling weakly against Loki. He chuckled darkly and forced her legs apart, keeping them that way with his own body. She had never had sex before, and she couldn’t deny the fact that his mere presence between her legs was more than enough to send a pleasant shudder through her core… but she didn’t want it to happen like this… She didn’t want to lose her innocence this way…

“Loki.” Frigga said sternly. He cursed and pulled away from the maid’s flesh. The Queen waved the maid away. Immediately the girl freed herself from Loki and scurried down the hall, not once looking back. “Do not throw away everything you have fought for…”

“You aren’t my conscience, so why do you insist on following me around telling me about everything I do wrong?!” He snapped. Under normal circumstances Loki wouldn’t have snapped like that… but he was stressed, exhausted, in physical need of affection that doesn’t end in him using a sleeping woman’s hand to relieve his frustration. Frigga sighed with a shake of her head, before turning to leave the prince alone. That was the first time… The first time she had turned away from him… He grit his teeth before turning and heading straight for the throne room. He would do it alone. He had to do it alone there wasn’t another option…

***

Needless to say Odin was less than pleased to see Loki storm into his throne room and demand anything from him. The fact that Frigga wasn’t there to calm either of them made it all the more difficult…

“She will die if it isn’t performed soon.” Loki said, the guards stiffening slightly to ward him off when he took a step forwards.

“That is not my concern.” Odin said coldly. A scowl pulled over Loki’s face.

“There is no other way-,”

“It is not my concern.” He repeated. “You may leave.” He said, waving the prince away. Loki’s whole body tensed, ready to spring forth and attack his so-called ‘father’. Sensing his growing anger, the guards stepped forwards to remind him of his place. “You may leave.” Odin repeated. Loki gritted his teeth before turning to leave, slamming the door on his way out. What could he do? The Allfather had to perform the ceremony… He could kill Odin and take up his place… No, even if he did manage to overthrow Odin, he would have to kill Thor and the boatload of guards and warriors around them. No, taking up the Allfather’s seat was not an option… Frigga wouldn’t help convince Odin… Thor probably wouldn’t either… What could he do…? Nothing… He could do nothing… He was powerless. He couldn’t face her… He had failed… He was weak… He wasn’t worthy of her… He slammed his hand against the wall, just managing to put a crack in the hard stone. Searing pain ran through his hand and arm, but he tried not to think about it… He needed something… Something to help him forget his worries, even if it were only a temporary fix… He turned on his heels and headed towards the kitchen. Ales, wines and other spirits were, more often than not, served with dinner. He would have preferred a tavern, but he would manage…

***

He spent hours in the cellars of the palace kitchen. Word of his little mishap with the maid spread around the palace, so no servants were stupid enough to bother him at all. A few hours after midnight he crawled out of the cellar, his head already warning him of the horrid hangover he would have when he woke up. He was tired, grumpy and ready to go to bed… but he couldn’t face her… The healer’s room (Name) used to occupy was probably already refilled with a new patient, so he couldn’t go there. He couldn’t go to his room, he couldn’t stay down in the kitchen; he couldn’t go anywhere… So, he did the only thing he could. He wandered around the mostly empty hallways of the palace. He wandered, bottle in hand, until his legs hurt and he couldn’t find the strength to take another step.

“Loki.” The deep voice of his brother called. Damn it… He had managed to avoid Thor… well, until now. “What are you doing all the way out here?” he asked. Where was he…? He glanced around. It was in the back of the palace, one of the many rooms that were probably destroyed during Asgard’s battle with Thanos. The decorative floor had been repaired, and the roof was slowly being replaced as well, though the great marble pillars looked beyond repair. It was probably as far as he could physically get from his room while still obeying the anchor Odin had placed on (Name), seeing as he was right on the border of the palace.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He said dully. His feet and legs were stinging uncomfortably, and he had to keep shifting his weight around to alleviate the pain.

“I went to your room to see (Name), she said she hadn’t seen you for hours. Then I heard from our Father that you barged into the throne room? I came to look for you.” He said.

“Why?” he said, not believing his reasoning, and irritated he was once again alone with (Name) without his knowledge.

“Because you tend to do stupid things when you’re hot under the collar.”

“I believe you’re thinking of yourself Thor, not me. I’m the one who thinks everything through, you’re the one who doesn’t think of consequences.”

“And you’re the one who doesn’t think of how your actions impact others.” Thor growled back. Frigga. That was why Thor was here. His story may have been somewhat true, but Loki was sure Frigga had sent him.

“Tell your mother that she needs to stop injecting herself into others business.”

“Our mother and I are worried about you and (Name), that is why we talked to Father.”

“Yes, because you have such a concern for (Name).” he snarled.

“Watch your tone,” Thor warned, his voice darkening.

“Honestly, I’m amazed you haven’t just forced her into your bed,”

“I’m not you.” Thor snapped.

“You’ve taken advantage of her!” Loki yelled, having had enough of his ‘brother’.

“And you didn’t?!”

“I at least admit what I have done! You just continue to wait for weakness to form between the two of us before you pounce!” he snarled.

“If your relationship was as strong as you think it is, there wouldn’t be any weak spots!”

“At least I love her and not some long dead human.” Loki said coldly. Thor was taken aback for a moment. “Think about why and how you found yourself attracted to her.” He said. “I concede that I thought of her only as an object for sex, but at least I found an interest in her from the beginning.” Thor grit his teeth.

“You should just be glad that Mother and I were able to convince him to change his mind.” Thor warned bitterly. “If it weren’t for Frigga, (Name) would perish...” Loki didn’t fail to notice the sad tone to Thor’s voice. He hated it. (Name) was his, he had walked through hell to make it so, and no one, no one, was going to get between the two of them.

“What? You expect me to grovel at the feet of the mighty Thor?” the raven-haired man spat. Thor laughed, a hint of condescension coloured his tone.

“I thought you had changed, Loki. I thought she had changed you...” Thor walked over and grabbed Loki by the collar of his shirt. “But you are still the same immature child you have always been. Even in this situation, you think only of yourself with no concern for her wellbeing.” The fury in Loki’s eyes was evident, and what happened next was to be expected, but in the heat of the moment Thor wasn’t able to foresee Loki’s next movement.

Loki swung forward and sent Thor flying to the other side of the room. He fought through the pain of the magical seal to chase after the blonde haired man to pin him to the cold tiled ground.

“YOU THINK I DO NOT CARE ABOUT HER!?” Loki’s grip on Thor’s shirt tightened for a moment before dizziness overcame him and he collapsed onto the floor beside his older brother. He had to stop fighting… (Name) would have been in pain as well. Deep breathing was the only sound in the room, but once Loki regained his ability to speak, he did. “Do you love her?” he asked, his voice breaking slightly. The blond prince remained silent for a moment.

“Must we talk about this?” Thor asked, sitting up.

“Yes Thor, I need to know.” The raven-haired man urge, too scared to feel any type of emotion at the time. Thor sighed,

“I’m unsure of my feelings towards (Name)... But, I know I have not felt this way since Jane died...” Loki thought for a moment.

“For her survival, you should hope that your feelings are unrequited. If your attraction is mutual, then the bonding ceremony could injure, if not kill both of us...” the raven haired man stated before standing and leaving Thor alone in the room, with nothing to keep him company but his own racing mind.

*Your POV*

You were waken by a sharp and ascending pain in your stomach. It lasted a few minutes before fading off. It was one of the worst pains you had ever felt; it almost felt like a slow spreading bushfire underneath your skin. Your muscles were sore, even when they weren’t doing anything more than nothing, and your vision blurred. You gently rubbed your head as the heat and remaining pain faded away, leaving you with a nauseas feeling through your stomach. Your eyes closed again. You noticed once again the lack of Loki. You vaguely remember Thor coming in and asking you something, but that was about all… Had he asked about Loki…? Probably… How long had you been in this state of doze? You’d shifted in the bed, and the air around you started warming… How long had Loki been gone? Since night time at least… Your eyes fluttered open a little, the light blinding you temporarily. How long…? The sound of the door closing made you come back to reality, only slightly though.

Footsteps echoed in the room, and the mattress sunk slightly on Loki’s side. He was back… Your eyes opened once more, greeted with the sight of Loki’s back. His head was in his hands, and you could see the cogs in his mind turning and working.

“Loki…” you mumbled softly; the scent of alcohol clung to him like an enveloping shadow. He hummed softly. “What’s wrong?” you asked, receiving no answer. You sat up slightly and reached out for him, but he pulled away before you could touch him. “Loki-,”

“(Name), don’t touch me…” he mumbled. “I couldn’t convince Odin to save you, Thor had to… I could not control myself around another woman… I don’t deserve you…” He blurted out all at once, shocking you. “Frigga has turned her back on me… I would not blame you if you did the same…” he mumbled.

“D-Did you… have sex… with the woman…?” you mumbled, trying to take it all in.

“No…”

“Did you want to?”

“Yes.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“Frigga caught me…”

“If you wanted to screw a woman, it would take more than just your mother to convince you otherwise.” You sounded angrier than you were… Wait… Were you angry? You felt numb, not mad or upset…

“What are you trying to say?”

“Why didn’t you?” you repeated.

“I don’t know why!” he yelled, standing up, putting more distance between the two of you. Okay, now you were starting to feel again.

“Stop trying to hide your feelings from me damn it!” you yelled back, your lungs and voice left weak after that surge of energy. Loki sat down once more,

“Because… I couldn’t hurt you any more than I already have…” he mumbled, glancing over to you. “Because I don’t want you to cry because of me any more…” he reached over and wiped the tears from your face. You hadn’t even realised you were crying… Now you could feel your lower lip trembling.

“You do though… You keep hurting me…” you whispered.

“I know…”

“Is it because you don’t love me?”

“I love you (Name), I do.”

“Then why? Do you think that if you hurt me enough I’ll just walk away and you can go back to hating the world?” you asked. He rubbed his temple and lowered his gaze. “That’s what you want isn’t it…? You don’t think you’re worth love, so you try and try and try to push everyone away.”

“It’s worked so far…” He mumbled.

“Because you’re so thick that you can’t recognise the difference between hatred and breaking point!” you said. “Just because someone finds their breaking point it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.” You gently squeezed his hand. “Just stop trying to sabotage yourself…” Loki closed his eyes and lowered his head. You sighed and released his hand. Why did this keep happening? Every time you came close, he would push you away; and it would always happen in a new way. In a way you didn’t expect… In a way you hoped not possible… “Loki… I’ve reached my breaking point…” You mumbled. You could sense the pain he was feeling just hearing you say that. “So you have a choice to make… Either you keep pushing me until I grow to hate you, or you need to do something to show me you actually love me, because even though I know what you’re doing, I cant take it. I don’t know if you love me anymore… and I don’t know if I can keep loving you…” Again tears began to form in your eyes.

“You doubt whether I love you…?” he mumbled.

“Yes…” you replied. “I don’t know if you just don’t care, or if you legitimately can’t feel anything…” You were a mess of emotions, not helped by Loki at all. He seemed to only want to cover his own ass. You were struggling to manage every conflicting emotion you were having; the guilt, the sadness, the pain… And he was only concerned with ensuring he could get into your good books… Loki wrapped his arms around you. Initially you tried to pull away, not wanting him to just try to hug you and make it better; however when he lifted you up, you stopped fighting.

“I wasn’t going to show this to you until you were better… but now seems like a good time…” he said softly, starting to walk out the room. You hadn’t even realised he had disconnected the machines until you didn’t feel the pull from the cords connecting you to them.

“Where are we going…?” you asked.

“You’ll see.” He said simply. You sighed softly and rested against Loki. He carried you through the palace and a few outdoor hallways, small gardens leading off of them with seats and potted plants coming out of the stone floor, sunroofs allowing light to filter into the small area. He turned into a seeming hidden passageway between a statue and a wall that led down to a small garden.

This was larger than the other small nooks, large enough to fit probably seven or eight people comfortably as opposed to two or three maximum. Various flowers you didn’t recognise at all, and some looked almost familiar. What did surprise you though was the odd layout of the whole thing. The other areas seemed to be specifically made to accommodate people to sit and rest, or read, or something… This area was different. The flowers and shrubs were planted in a circular design, each new row flowers offering a new vibrant colour. A small mound sat in the middle of the circular garden, the mound surrounded by small, glossy white pebbles.

“What is this…?” you asked, glancing around. There was a decent size tree in one area, underneath it a small bench. A waterfall was in the opposite corner, the water soothing and cooling.

“A garden.”

“No shit.” You said with an eye roll. Loki smirked at your response.

“A garden for us.” You deadpanned, silently telling him you would need more information than that. “For the three of us.” Immediately you froze, and your mind stopped. The three of you… The three of you… He walked up a small path through the flowers, and came to stop in front of the small mound of dirt. “There’s a seed there that will grow…” He said. No… No you didn’t want to hear anymore. You weren’t ready for a child… You were okay with what happened… A choked sob left your throat. Were you…? Were you okay…? You had rationalised it… You had rationalised it to save yourself the pain and sadness even though it didn’t really stop you feeling… but seeing this, seeing what Loki had done… It just brought it all up again.

“I don’t want to linger on the past…” You said through trembling lips.

“So don’t… but you can’t forget or supress it either…” he said softly. Tears began to spill from your eyes and you rested your head on Loki’s shoulder.

“I don’t know anymore… I don’t know if I’m okay or not… I can’t tell… I don’t want to feel, so I try not to… but then I feel guilty for not feeling, and I feel more than I want to… It’s a vicious cycle…” He patted your back softly, moving to take a seat on the bench.

You curled up silently on his lap, not knowing what to do or say, an all too common situation of late… Loki patted your back, soothing you slightly, but not as much as you wished it would. You were a hot mess.

“Do you want to be bonded to me?” he asked.

“I don’t want to die, or spend the rest of my life limp in a bed, Loki…” You mumbled.

“That isn’t what I asked…”

“I don’t know… I love you… but you hurt…”

“Would you prefer to be bonded to Thor?” Your brows furrowed.

“What makes you ask that?”

“Just… Yes or no?” he asked.

“I do care for Thor… bu-…” you stopped yourself, feeling Loki’s body tense. You glanced up to him. His lips were downturned in a scowl and sadness lingered in his eyes. “But this…” you said. “I see your pain and sadness, and I don’t think I could ever consider hurting you like that…” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around him tightly.

“Do you wish I had the same thought every time I hurt you?”

“Yes.” He kissed the top of your head softly.

“I can try harder, from now on…” He said.

“Loki, please don’t promise things you might not keep.”

“I have to do better... I want to do better for you…” His fingers laced with yours.

“I know Loki…” you mumbled softly as he kissed your knuckles. “I believe you…” Did you? Could he actually change? He had been getting better… but then he also had a tendency to relapse… Every time he seemed he would be happy with you, being with you would cause him to do something he shouldn’t… No… it wasn’t a relapse… it was like an overdose. He could only be happy for so long before he took too much and plummeted at a devastating rate. He was like an addict… and you his drug of choice.

“My Lord.” Someone called from what you thought to be a hidden entrance.

“What?” Loki nearly growled.

“Your presence is needed in the healing bay.” He said. Loki sighed.

“I’ll take you back to my room.” He said, standing up with you still in his arms.

“Actually, her presence was requested as well.” You could see Loki didn’t trust what the messenger had just said.

“Fine.” He grumbled, starting to walk.

“What’s wrong?”

“Something’s going on.”

“Like what?”

“I’m not sure…” he mumbled.

***

Loki was correct to be suspicious. The moment the two of you entered the medical wing, you could sense something was off, and when you were met with Odin in one of the procedure rooms, you only worried more.

“Put the girl down Loki, you look a fool.” Odin said. There was a nurse and doctor in the room, silently fiddling with a large vial of glowing red liquid.

“Are you jealous you’re no longer spry enough to manage the weight of a woman?” Loki asked with a smirk. He was deflecting, trying to irritate Odin because he himself was irritated. You gently placed your hand on his chest.

“Its okay.” You said. He sighed softly and slowly placed you down. You knew you weren’t really strong enough to stand up on your own, so you had to lean on Loki.

“Before I attempt this ridiculous enchantment on the two of you, I want to try something else first.” He said. Try what? What could he possibly try that hadn’t been tried before now?

“Why have you suddenly changed your mind about everything?”

“I haven’t. If I were to do what you wish, she will be forced to live here without another option. What I propose would allow her to leave should she wish.” That was it. He was trusting Loki to lose you. He wanted Loki to be alone.

“And if I want to stay here?” You asked.

“Then that is your prerogative.” He replied dryly. The doctor stepped forwards with a gesture from Odin.

“Why haven’t you tried this before now?” Loki asked, stepping in front of you slightly, psychologically trying to intimidate the doctor.

“Because it has only just been finished.” He, the doctor, said. “The Allfather placed a small, focused team on the task of developing something to reverse the fatigue. This is what we’ve come up with.” He said, holding up the syringe.

“Why can’t we just do the other thing?” You asked. “What if I don’t want to take that?” you asked, looking at the vial of liquid.

“You are free to do as you wish; however your readiness to risk your life as well as his is an intriguing notion.”

“You didn’t tell me you could get hurt…” you said to Loki. Well… you didn’t know that much about it at all really. Loki tried to tell you about it, but you were too exhausted to listen.

“I won’t-,”

“You have not done enough research about it Loki. Do not think you can get around everything just because you want to.” Odin said. Loki glared at his adoptive father,

“And you think sticking her with an untested, unproven substance is the better option?”

“I never claimed it was better.” The Allfather replied. “Just that it was an option that should be examined and considered.” Loki sighed,

“It’s okay…” You said. “I’ll try it…”

“What?!”

“Good.” Odin cut Loki off before he could protest more. He gestured for you to step forwards, and you did. Loki held onto one of your hands, probably to pull you back to him in case he saw something he didn’t like.

“This may sting for a moment.” The doctor said. You nodded, offering him your arm.

The doctor injected the liquid into your arm. Instantly lava spread through your body, enveloping your blood, veins and organs in a deep, fire that seemed to thicken your blood and nearly make your hears stop. You crumpled onto the floor and cried out, unable to withstand the pain, which blocked out almost every sense you had. You could tell there were people around you, and that they were talking, but you couldn’t hear them properly, or even see them through your blurred eyes. What had they injected you with?! You could sense that someone, probably Loki, was holding you up, his skin like ice compared to your own. What was happening to you?! You were moved to a bed, and stuck with several more syringes. Nothing made the pain go away. How long were you whimpering and crying in pain? Minutes? Hours…? It didn’t really matter how long it took, all that mattered was that it finally began to stop.

The first thing you noticed was the uncomfortable, cold and clammy feeling all over your body. You had been sweating, probably the entire time, and were still covered in it.

“Ugh…” you groaned softly as you sat up. Your body was exhausted… but not in the same way it had been. Before you were exhausted without a reason to be, unable to fathom the idea of staying awake for an entire day. Now, while you were tired and sore, the prospect of staying awake didn’t seem like some kind of far off dream.

“(Name), you need to lay back down.” Loki said, moving from the chair beside your bed. You shook your head.

“No, I feel fine.” You said. Your voice was hoarse and a little sore, probably from the screaming.

“You mean it actually worked…?” he asked, surprise in his tone.

“I guess so…” you mumbled. Loki smiled, but only slightly.

“Do you remember what happened?” he asked, offering you a cup of water, which you took and sipped eagerly.

“They injected me… then… Pain. Fire...” you mumbled. He gently rested his hand on your arm, sending an oddly pleasant sensation through your body. Why? Why did you want to moan from him just touching your arm? When he squeezed your arm softly, you couldn’t hold it back, your thighs tightening.

“(Name)…?” he asked softly.

“I-I think the injection did something.” You stuttered, trying to keep your slowly building energy from overflowing and forcing you to mount Loki right then and there.

“What is it?” he asked, standing up.

“I…” a warm blush covered your cheeks - - though it could have just been from the heat in your own body. “I am uncontrollable horny…” you mumbled. Loki snorted.

“Is that all?” You instinctively slapped his arm, which you wished you hadn’t, because again the pleasure moved through you, causing another moan to leave your throat. He actually looked a little concerned now. Honestly, this had to be some kind of bad joke. What kind of side effect was this? You go from being lethargic to extremely energized and horny? Ludacris. Suddenly Loki lifted you from the bed. “What are you doing?” you asked, clinging to him tightly, trying to stop your body from squirming in his arms.

“Helping you with your issue.” He said, kissing your temple. “I have had to sit back and watch for nearly a month as you deteriorated. Do not expect me to wait any longer, please.” He said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes, there was no point trying to stop him at this point, and… did you want to…? You had been unsure of Loki. Unsure of if he cared, unsure if he could change… But when you needed him, he was there… Besides, you were fine now… Everything would be easier… It would make more sense… You were better.

***

Oh, how wrong you were. Loki indeed took you back to his room, and the two of you screwed around – quite literally – for almost six hours. You’d almost forgotten how good it felt to completely lose any and every inhibition; something you had been unable to do since New York… and being in that room alone with him, after everything… it was so wonderful. That’s not to say all you did was fuck. It was a large proportion of it of course, but you had lain in bed together, talked, joked and even planned ridiculous trips that you knew Odin probably wouldn’t allow. It was tranquil. It as the first time in a long time that Loki had been completely genuine and real with you. You’d even managed to actually eat together as well. Loki made it a kind of picnic on his balcony, which inevitably turned to flirting, which then turned to sex. You didn’t complain about his readiness to have sex… For weeks he had been faithful, and even when his subconscious made its need extremely clear, he stopped. Everything, everything finally seemed perfect. Until the two of you finally decided to turn in for the night.

Initially you were fine, but after a few hours of a restless attempt at sleep, you woke up, shaking uncontrollably, nauseas and with a horrendous headache. You could barely make it to the bathroom before dinner returned, leaving a vile taste in your mouth. The cool temperature of the tiles made your body calm down… for about twenty seconds. The sweating returned with a fury and your body felt like it was convulsing it was shaking so much. You threw up again and again, until there was nothing left in your stomach, though that didn’t stop your body from continuing to dry heave. What was going on?!

*Frigga’s POV*

“Dear,” The queen called to her husband, who was sitting at his desk, head in his hand. He must have heard about it…

“What is it?” he asked.

“You have to tell Loki the truth.” She said.

“He wouldn’t believe me, even if I wanted to tell him.”

“The premise you used to administer the potion was necessary to get Loki to agree to her having it… but it is also necessary for the ceremony… I told you that before we asked them to start making the serum.”

“He doesn’t need to know that.” He said. Loki would blame him. That was how it had to be. Frigga still had a chance to control him… Frigga had to be the favoured one, and Odin the hated one. She sighed and shook her head.

“Tell your son you love him, and that you’ve only had his, and (Name)’s best interest at heart…”

“He wouldn’t believe me, not after what’s just happened.” He said, standing and starting towards the door. He stopped briefly to kiss Frigga before leaving the room.

“You’ll regret not telling him.” He didn’t respond

*Your POV*

You weren’t sure when Loki woke up, or when the healers were called to take you. All you knew was that you woke up in the hospital room hooked up to machines and various fluids… again…

“It took over your body… as it began to fade, your body couldn’t cope and put you in a state I believe you would know as withdrawal.” Loki said, gently stroking your hair.

“It won’t work… the serum. It won’t work for long term, will it?”

“No… Your body will have to withdrawal every day so you can sleep properly…” He said. Tears filled your eyes. You didn’t want Loki to risk himself for you... but that was the only option…

“Wh-What does it involve? The magic thing…?” you stuttered, trying to hold back your sobs. Stop it. You didn’t want him to see your sadness and worry.

“It will bond the two of us.”

“How is it dangerous?”

“We’re different species... Vastly different ages… and our bodies tolerate different things.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Bonding a human to someone like me could cause either one of us to physically change, and not for the better. You could be brought to my age physically, and humans don’t exactly live anywhere close to nine hundred. And the magic itself could kill you. If it does, then everything, including your illness, could transfer to me, and probably kill me as well.” He said. You were… shocked. “That isn’t all, but it’s the worst case scenario.” Now you were beyond shocked.

“I don’t want to do it… I don’t want to die, but if I were given a choice between dying and possibly killing you, I would rather die.”

“There is, however a good chance it will work without consequence.” He said, ignoring what you had said. How? How could he possibly think that after all the damn risks he just listed?! “It was a technique we passed down to humans; a way for kings to remain healthy for longer periods of time than usual people. Its remnants still linger in the blood of Midgardian royalty to this day. Considering the unintentional inbreeding between humans, it would probably mean everyone is, in some way or another, related to the original users of the magic. It would mean the spell would be easier to cast now.” You couldn’t do it…

“Loki, I don’t-,”

“(Name), please… Don’t ask me to watch you die…” he said. “Because I don’t think I will be able to manage such a thing…” You sighed. Frigga told you that you were getting weaker, not that you hadn’t noticed it already… What would happen if you kept getting weaker and weaker? Would your heart stop? Would your lungs give up, leaving you to suffocate? You wouldn’t want to see Loki like that… Even if he could handle watching you die, you doubted he would chose to stick around the waking world long enough to truly grieve and get over you... You’d both be dead then anyway… A chance of death for the two of you, or a certainty of death for the two of you… That was what you had to choose between…

“Okay… But I want to know more about it…” you mumbled. He leaned forwards and gently kissed your forehead.

“I love you…”

“I love you too,” you smiled. He wrapped an arm around you and took a seat next to you. “What does the bonding actually mean?” you asked. “Am I your wife? Or something else?” Loki chuckled softly.

“It will be like marriage.” He said. “And a good thing is, you should never get sick again. Not even a Midgardian flu.” You raised a brow. “For us, it will be more like the original magic. You will bind yourself to me, and as long as I am not injured or ill, you will not be either.” He said.

“Does that mean if you get sick or injured I will too?” he nodded. “You don’t get the man-flu, do you?”

“The what?” you shook your head,

“Never mind…” you smiled. Loki kissed your temple.

***

You slept for… God knows how long… When you woke up, you heard Loki talking with someone.

“I am glad she is well.” Thor… it was Thor…

“She isn’t well… not yet…”

“You’ve convinced her to do the ceremony?” Loki probably nodded, because Thor continued, “And she knows the risks?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t say I’m thrilled with the idea that either of you could lose your lives… but it has to be done…” He mumbled. “Do you want me to tell mother about what is going on?”

“I don’t think she would want to know… I haven’t spoken to her in nearly a week.”

“She’s worri-,”

“You had a fight with your mother?” you asked, eyes cracking open slightly.

“I-Well…”

“Yes.” Thor answered.

“You have to go apologise…” you mumbled.

“No, I-,”

“Loki…” you said. “Please. You know you wont be yourself without her on your side…”

“(Name)…”

“After everything she’s done for you and I, are you really going to let your pride is going to get in the way?” You saw Thor smirk out of the corner of his mouth.

“Very well.” Loki said. You smiled.

“I do believe I’ve heard phrases on Midgard… ‘Whipped’, I believe is the correct term?” Thor teased. You smiled. Loki didn’t understand it at all,

“What are you referring to? (Name) has never whipped me, nor I her.” You leaned up and gently kissed Loki, knowing it would probably be easier on everyone to not explain it. “Go with your brother and see your mother.” Loki sighed and climbed out of your bed.

“He’s not my brother, nor is she my-,”

“Shut up.” You cut him off, eyes closing again as you snuggled into the warm spot he left behind. You heard Loki chuckle and felt him kiss your head before their footsteps disappeared from the room.

From what Loki had told you, Frigga forgave him as soon as he opened his mouth. You were happy… Even with the unknown of the ceremony, everything seemed to be falling into a happy place that you were comfortable with. Odin still didn’t seem that happy with the prospect of having you around forever, but you didn’t care. Loki, Frigga and Thor were on your side. Odin would either convert after some time, or he wouldn’t. You wouldn’t be loosing any sleep over it. Now that everyone was somewhat on the same side, the preparations truly began for the ceremony. Loki organised everything with Frigga; Odin unwillingly giving them everything they wanted – well, everything Frigga asked for, and after a few days, Loki realised Frigga would have to ask for everything. They couldn’t spend as long planning and organising as you think Frigga would have liked however she seemed content with what had been organised. Loki was actually starting to get sick of the whole thing, Frigga would come to him at all times of the day with new ideas. You had to keep him calm, and when you explained she was probably just excited that one of her sons was getting married, he cooled down and didn’t complain nearly as much. And this time, this time the happiness actually seemed to stay. Unlike the injection, or the other times before with Loki, things remained happy, even if you were barely awake to see them…

***

Two weeks passed, giving Odin enough time to prepare physically for the magic, and Frigga enough time for the rest. A party had apparently been planned, as well as a feast. During those two weeks, the healers had been asked to fix the serum, and they tried. Again and again they tried a revised version of it on you, each time leaving you with nearly the same effect as the first time. You needed to be completely awake and strong enough for the ceremony, so even the short time it could keep you up would be enough. However each time you came down from it, it felt worse and worse as withdrawal symptoms wracked your body for hours at a time. By the third time they came back with a revised version of what you now considered to be a dangerous weapon, Loki wouldn’t allow them to administer it, cursing at them until they left. However he soon made him forget his statements about not trusting the healers when the day finally came; the day the two of you were to be married.

***

You lifted your thin, light shirt, a sharp pain running through your side as the needle was injected into your side, near the back of your ribcage. The liquid burnt as it coursed through your body, but not as heated or painful as it was; once it melded with your blood it hyped you up and offered a pleasant tingling.

“You’ll have about five hours before the next shot will need to be administered.” You nodded, wary of the withdrawals starting… You’d started wising up and stuffing yourself with water on the days they injected you, because then all you had to throw up was water, and it also helped to dilute the serum in your body.

“It shouldn’t take that long, and once you’re bonded, it should disappear from your blood.” Frigga said. You turned to face the queen and smiled slightly,

“So no withdrawals?”

“No withdrawals.” She confirmed as she approached you, holding something dress shaped that was covered with a large, black cloth.

“What’s that…?” you asked.

“A surprise.” She answered, placing it down on the bed before turning back to you with a black sash. “No peeking.” she stepped forwards and gently placed the silky fabric over your eyes before tying it behind your head to hold it there. Two servants proceeded to dress you. It made you feel awkward. People you didn’t know and couldn’t see were dressing you. However, as quickly as they moved their hands, straightening the clothes and whatnot, they were gone. You were given a few moments, which you spent wondering if they had left the room and had pulled a prank on you, before the blindfold was removed.

You faced a mirror, as were a little surprised by the dress itself. It was a silver-white dress, which would have had a ridiculously low plunge neckline, if it hadn’t had chiffon fabric and detailed lace changing it to a scoop neckline, making it a little more modest – even though the sides of the dress, back and your cleavage was only covered by the see-through material. The material of the skirt was heavy and a little bulky, making your curves a little more obvious. It was… beautiful… Frigga stepped forwards and tied a deep turquoise sash around your waist, she didn’t tie it tightly, but the way it clenched your body made you feel uncomfortable. Maybe it was just nerves… She then placed a long, thin shrug over you, a few shades lighter than the sash. One of the maids began fiddling with your hair, pulling it back with some type of Asgardian hairclip with glimmering silver stones.

“Is all of this really necessary…?” You asked the Queen, still a little surprised by your appearance.

“Of course it is!” She replied happily. You suppressed a sigh. Was it? You felt over done and nervous about the whole thing. Would the ceremony even work? What if it did, but dropped out? Would Loki like the way you looked? Your brows furrowed. Why was that even on your mind? It was stupid… But what if he didn’t like it? You rubbed your temple. Just focus on the matter at hand… Just get through today, and then deal with insecurities later. “Now.” Frigga said. “Which one?” She held up a felt lined jewellery tray filled with various earrings and bracelets. “No necklaces. I’ve allowed Loki to lend out necklaces before and they’ve been returned broken.” She said with a knowing smile. Amongst the various jewels were two necklaces however that looked familiar; it was the golden shield knot pendant, and the pearls with the crystal flower. You picked both of them up and held them in your hands. He had them the entire time? He gave the pearls back to you… but you thought you’d lost track of them… “I don’t think the gold will match everything else, but I can have it left in your room.”

“I thought you said no necklaces.”

“None of my necklaces.” She said with a smile. You nodded, placing the pearls around your neck and doing up the clasp. After you were ready, and Frigga had stopped fussing over your hair and everything else, she walked with you to where the ceremony was to be held.

The doors opened, and you were slightly taken aback. It wasn’t a grand hall, at least not compared to the other halls in the palace, however it was certainly grand enough to accommodate the ceremony for two people with no more than a few friends and family in this world. A hand gently touched your back, making you jump slightly. You turned, a gasp still in your throat, however you relaxed when you saw Loki, a warm smile spreading over his face. He was wearing his usual attire. Black clothes with green and few gold highlights. The two of you didn’t seem to match at all, other than the turquoise and green… In fact, you were wearing opposite colours. White and Black, Silver and Gold… It was kind of fitting though...

“Hey...” you said. He looked a little lost for words.

“I’ll leave you two alone…” Frigga said, entering the hall. You nodded, watching the queen go before turning back to Loki. He looked… nervous… well, as nervous as a Loki could look, which wasn’t very much in comparison to normal people.

“What’s wrong…?” you asked. He wasn’t looking you much of all, his eyes lowered.

“You look nice…”

“Thanks.” You smiled.

“(Name)…” he said, finally lifting his eyes and caressing your cheek. Suddenly you were worried. Something was wrong. What was wrong? Did he change his mind? Did he not want to go through with it after all? “There is no guarantee that this will work,” Loki said. Your heart fell. He didn’t want to… He didn’t want to go through with it… “I want you to tell me that you understand the risks of doing this…” warmth filled his tone. He… He hadn’t changed his mind? Your confidence returned. You slowly reached up and stroked his cheek, he wasn’t unsure… he was worried that you were, or that you didn’t understand… “The strain of a failed ceremony could kill you... and even if it doesn’t there’s no degree of certainty that the bond will last, or that your body will accept-,” you leaned up to softly kiss him.

“Now you’ve changed your mind about it? Weren’t you the one who talked me into this whole situation?”

“Well… yes…”

“Then I’m going to do it.” He opened his mouth but you pressed two fingers to his lips. “If it doesn’t work, if it doesn’t last... I will be happy knowing that I died trying to marry you... or died as your wife.”

“Don’t talk about dying… please…” he mumbled. You could see the pained tears forming in his eyes, but he would not let them fall. Stubborn ass.

Notes

...Sorry... Sorry.... Sorry.. Sorry. Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry. Q-Q
Sorry this took so long. I needed time off for a few (several... Lots of) weeks. I when I first started writing this, I was doing an animation diploma, and was able to spend lots of time on this. When I started Graphic design, I no longer had that free time. Even when I spent all lesson working, I still had a shit tonne of work to take home. I still managed to keep up with the same amount of writing initially, but I slowly started getting tired and stress until the unintentional hiatus's kept happening. Plus, my family is emotionally draining. Even when I managed to get some time off of school, it didn't really feel like I had time off because of some family issues.. -.- Eh. Anyway. I'm back now. I will be starting Uni at the end of March, so come that time, I will slow updates, but nothing like it has been. Think of it like the simpsons episode when wiggum becomes homers bestfriend. They spend so much time together so quickly that they both start to get exhausted. Once they learn how to calm the fuck down and spread time out, it s a better slow burning friendship XD
also, since I am coming to an end with this story, I will be starting some new ones. No hints as to what they will be yet. But there will be more stories~~~!!!!
Now, onto the actual story. I'm a little... Iffy about this chapter. Please please please tell me what you think. I'm afraid it bounces around too much, but... it needed too, but it also may have not needed too... Blarg... tell meee please~!!!!