Tonight

The weeks went on, the months powered through. It had been almost 5 month since Fandral and I had announced our engagement and the preparations were being made with haste. The more final things became the more I wondered if this was truly what I wanted.
"Ah, my lady! Tonight we dine!" Fandral entered the room and spun me around "tonight we dance" he pulled me into him and kissed my cheek
I leaned into him, hoping for more, but he retreated to the bath room to get ready for the celebration tonight. I continued fixing my dress to be ready. I felt as if something was wrong with me, I wanted more from him. Asgardians do not engage in much physical love before marriage, at least not openly. Still it was something that I longed for. Some day’s sex was all I could think about, with Fandral, with anyone. I assumed it was the Midguardian in me. Fandral emerged from the bath room in his outfit for the night, it was a celebration for the triumph of a battle, so he was to go in his armour. I've always had a thing for men in armour, but don't get to see them in it much.
"How do I look?" He asked holding his arms out and doing a small spin
I chuckled "very handsome"
He laughed also "thank you, and you are looking quite beautiful m'lady"
I mocked his movements and did a small spin in my floor length flowing light blue dress. When I stopped I adjusted the single strap on my right shoulder and smiled. I walked over to Fandral and pushed his lips against mine. I kissed him as hard as I could, holding his head with my hands. I felt his hands on my hips and longed for him to move down. I bit his lip softly and his mouth opened, I darted my tongue into his mouth, toying with his. His grip on my waist tightened a little and I thought I was finally going to get somewhere. But, alas, he pulled away and took a deep breath, composing himself
"Well, m'lady, I think it's time we go" he held out his arm for me
I was crushed, defeated, but smiled and took his arm anyway.

The banquet was as extravagant as any but nothing was exciting for me. I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever be happy with Fandral. Clearly we had different views on the world and what we wanted. I smiled as Fandral and I were led through the people by my father. He had invited all of Asguard here to celebrate. I'm quite sure he was using the battle victory as a cover for the party. His real intentions were showing off his happy daughter and soon to be son-in-law. Fandral kept an arm around my waist, as to keep me close. I enjoyed the safe feeling of his arms around me and he knew that crowds were not my favourite.
"Ah Fandral, the man of the hour" Thor punched Fandral playfully
"What a day my friend" he replied
"You should have been there Nefie, your lover was quite the saviour" Thor laughed and Fandral laughed
"Fandral" I whispered in his ear "May I have a moment alone with my brother?"
He nodded "let me get us another more drinks m'lady"
I smiled as he disappeared into the crowd of people
"My sister? What is the problem, you look distraught" Thor asked with concern
"I'm fine brother, I just worry about the future" I sighed "do you think I am doing the right thing?"
"Nefie, I cannot decide your fate for you, but I do love you and will love you no matter what" he put his arm around my shoulder "has Fandral done something wrong?"
"No" I turned to him "no, it is my thoughts that waver, not his love" I smiled "I think I'll go find him"
Thor smiled and I headed into the crowd. I had no intention of going to find Fandral at that moment, I just needed some space. I found my way over to the wall and followed it to the corner next to the large entrance. The room was so large that when I reached the corner there was a tapestry hanging there with room behind it for me to hide comfortably. I stood in the darkness, peeking out every few moments to make sure no one had seen me sneak away. I was checking again, for the 15th time that minuet when a voice startled me.
"Seeking refuge behind a curtain?"
I turned around and found, in the dim light, Loki standing behind me with an amused grin on his face
"Loki! You scared me" I sighed
"I saw you sneak into the corner, I wondered if you might like some company?" He asked
"I just want to get away from all of these people" I turned to look out the corner again
"Come with me" Loki held out his hand for me to take. We snuck out and around the entrance to the large room and he pulled me down a hall
"There's nowhere for me to go that they won't find me" I whispered as he led me down some steps. This felt silly, running away like this, but I was giggling and having a good time.
Once in the basement we turned a few corners before Loki opened a door. I knew the door to be to Loki's bedroom. I had been inside it before but it had been many years. He closed the door behind us
"Loki..." I looked around the room. It had changed since we were children. I hadn't remembered it looking quite so dungeon like. The cobblestone walls were lined with books, the larger books were open on a table. The bed was simple adorned with dark green linens. The lights were dim and it was quite cold.
"It's cold in here"
"I suppose, I prefer it that way" he replied simply
"What are all these books?" I ran my fingers over the spines of some, they were very old
"Just old stories, myths really"
I sat on the bed, the cool air was relaxing and I closed my eyes.
"Are you alright?" He asked closing one of the bigger books and placing it back on the shelf
I sighed "yes, the burdens of the days are just becoming a little heavy" I tilted my head back and looked up at the ceiling
"Please excuse me if this is improper to ask..."
I lifted my head and nodded for him to continue
"...but you seem, how shall I say...unsure of your feelings" he turned to face me
"Oh Loki, you've always been so perceptive..." I looked up at him
"Tell me Nefie, what troubles you?" He asked, sitting next to me
"Ha" I chuckled "if I knew it wouldn't be a problem"
He removed his cape from around his neck "do you not love Fandral?"
"Yes I do, of course I do, I guess...I just don't know if I'm in love with him, like I once was" I held my face in my hands and a tear fell from my eye. Pulling my hands back Loki quickly wiped the tear away
"Oh Nefie, it has always pained me so to see you cry"
I let a small smile show at his kindness. Many people thought Loki unkind, this is not the case. Loki is a bit of a trickster, yes, and he can have a mean streak. But he is a good man at heart, and kind to the people he loves.
"What would I do without you Loki" I flung my arms around his neck
When I started to pull back my eyes locked with his eyes, stopping me half way. My wrists hung with my hands on the back of his neck. His blue eyes stared into mine and his tongue darted out of his mouth for only a second to wet his bottom lip. My fingers played with the long ends of his dark hair and I found myself biting my bottom lip. My body took control and I flinched forward, no more than an inch, before my mind regained control. But it was too late. Once I had moved closer Loki decided to inch closer as well. I could feel his breath from his nose, and then his lips parted, ever so slightly, and the warmth of his breath warmed my face in the coolness of the room. At the sensation my lips too parted, and that was enough. I don't know if Loki leaned in to close the gap or myself, but it didn't matter. His lips were on mine, or were my lips on his. My thoughts were incoherent and made no sense at all as the feeling of his lips took over my body. I placed my hand on the side of his face and we slowly pulled apart. I couldn't get myself to move very far and he must have felt the same resentment from his body because he quickly had his lips back onto mine. He pushed a little harder, and longer, this time. My head was spinning, for a moment I couldn't have even told you where I was. When I did remember where, and who, I was I ripped my lips from him. I stared at him and he stared back for only a brief second before I was up and out of his room. I ran through the halls and up the stairs, back to the party.
"Oh there you are Nefie" Fandral declared coming over to me and wrapping me in his arms
"Just had to step out for a moment" I replied slightly breathless from running.
He nodded, understanding, and we spent the rest of the evening together. Loki never returned to the party that night.

Notes