Robert Hall's First Assignment

There in the center of the room, was a large square table, with a huge Montvale Woven Jacquard Tablecloth covering it. There were wooden chairs all around the table, each chair had a pearl white dinner plate, a salad and dinner fork on the left, then on the right was a knife and two spoons. There was a full crystal water glass, and an empty wine glass, there were autumn themed napkin folded the Diamond Arrow style. There were six bottles of wine in ice on the table, three red and three white.

Robert was pleased with his guest's reactions, he hope that he would catch everyone off guard, he had busted his ass getting everything setup. He was grateful of Jarvis telling about the conference supplies closet.

"Okay my first question, where did you get all this stuff, and please tell me you did not buy it." asked Tony as he was coming out of the shock.

"Ha-ha, no Jarvis told me about your conference supply room, he felt that would make things nicer for the dinner." Said Robert

"Ladies and Gentleman, if you could please take a seat, dinner is ready." said Jarvis "Sir and Miss Potts please sit at the head of the table. Could Agent Barton and Romanoff, Dr. Foster and Prince Odinson, please sit on Sir's right please. And Prince Loki Laufeyson, Captain Rogers, and Dr. Baner please sit on Ms. Potts left, thank you very much."

As they sat down at the table, everyone noticed two spots left at the bottom of the table. Clint spoke first, "Expecting someone to come?" as he sat down between Tony and Natasha.

"Let's just say I have a good hunch." Please help yourself to the wine; I will bring the food over." Replied Robert as he opened the oven and took out the meatloaves and muffins. Then he took the cobblers out of the refrigerator and put those in the oven and set the timer for 40mins 275 degrees. Bruce and Steve offered to help carry the food over, Robert accepted their help and instructed them where to put the food.

As all the food sat in front of them, they took a moment to look at the feast, "Really, I can't believe it, it is Meatloaf, it has been decades since I had Meatloaf" Steve spoke, Of course it would make perfect sense on that statement coming from him

"Well let's eat." Tony said, as he was about to cut the meatloaf, as he picked up a knife to cut the food. Suddenly he felt a whack on his leg, he knew it was Pepper. He was going to yell at her and find out what the problem was, but then he saw almost everyone had their hands folded for grace. "Oh yeah, sorry." said Tony softly as he put his hands together.

"Lord Jesus Christ, Friend of sinners, we thank you for the friendships we have, Prince of peace, we ask you that we may be peacemakers. Lord of all, we thank you for this food. Bless it to our bodies, we pray. May the Holy Spirit, guide us to safety in battle. My Lord hold our loved ones in comfort as they wait for us. In our faith, we say Amen."

Preached Robert, as he looked up and around, he was surprise to see everyone even Loki and Thor, were quiet and respectful. "Okay enough of this, Let's Eat!" Robert said, which made everyone smile and laugh.

"Hey Wait a minute, where is my plate?" asked Tony.

"Oh, yes. You see, I'm Pennsylvania Dutch, and we have a custom to thank a man for his home," Robert smiled as he got up and walked into the kitchen, and came back with a plate covered with a silver lid. Tony got excited as a big smile appeared on his face, as Robert removed the lid. "I hope you like grape jelly."

Tony's smile melted off his face as he took in the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Everyone watched with bated breath as Tony slowly stood to face Robert with a furious expression. There was an uneasy silence, as everyone waited for the pin to drop. Pepper reached up to touch his arm, but Tony brushed her off and cleared his throat, "Well played. Okay, so maybe I was kind of an ass, and I apologize. I'll admit I still don't trust you completely, but you've earned my respect." He abruptly thrust his hand towards Robert.

Robert eyed Tony. He knew that there were a lot of different ways that that could have gone, but this was the way that he had hoped for. Robert took the hand and gave it a firm shake. "All's forgiven. You have my respect," he smiled, proceeding to get Tony a clean plate.

As everyone ate, many questions were asked to Robert, from where did the recipe come from, where did he cook at, what items did he use, and then about twenty minutes later voice from the ceiling spoke.

"I am sorry to interrupt but Nick Fury, and Maria Hill are here with an Agents Stones and some FBI Agents." Said Jarvis

"Well, how about that, I was right" said Robert "I knew they would be showing up tonight."

Fury strode into the room, followed by Commander Hill and several FBI Agents. "Agent Hall, you are in deep shi-! What the hell is all of this?" he demanded as he stopped in front everyone.

"Well it looks like dinner, you could see that if you looked out the eye that wasn't covered." said Tony, as he took a sip of wine. Knowing full well that would piss him off more.

"Agent Hall, You better have an explanation for this, and you have three minutes or I will have your ass fired." said the man with a bald head, thin glasses and a large gut, who was standing to the left of Commander Hill.

"What I am? doing my assignment that my supervisor at SHIELD gave me. I am helping a team bond, and then work on their public image." said Robert as he ate some potatoes like nothing was wrong.

"Well, you weren't supposed to get this job; this was supposed to be Agent Michaels job. As of now I am transferring you back to FBI. Get your stuff and let's go now" Said Agent Stones

"Michaels is a window licking cum-sucking, sheep raping, ass kissing, weasel loving bastard, and he's a monkey fucking lousy ass agent," Robert fired back. Loki, Tony, and Clint did a quick double take, as they were impressed by his rant. "Besides, according to the agreement between the FBI and S.H.I.E.L.D., only the Director and Deputy Director have the right to release any transfer agents. So, why don't you ask the two nice people next to you if they will transfer me?"

Stones bristled with anger and took a threatening step towards Robert, "Who the hell do you think you are? I am your boss. S.H.I.E.L.D. is fucking worthless, I don't care what that stupid paper has to say about it. " Fury and Hill turned to face him. They could not believe he had the balls to say that in front of them.

Before Stones could move, Fury interrupted them in a booming voice, "I have had enough of this shit! Did you just drag us here to talk about a policy I've never even heard? What is going on?!"

"I am sorry director, but Agent Hall is right, and you never heard of it because you don't read half of my emails." said Commander Hill

"Oh, well regardless of that, Agent Hall." Fury said, as he was rubbing his head.

"Yes, Sir" Robert said as he stood up.

"Explain to me one simple reason why I don't end this and get rid of you, so we can leave." Fury said, as he was rubbing his head more.

"I will do you one better, Sir. In less than thirty-six hours of meeting the Avengers, I have start to build friendships with Miss Potts and Captain Rogers, I got Tony Stark to apologize, I've calmed down Doctor Banner before he could turn completely green, I survived Agent Romanov's death-stare on three separate occasions, and I spent six hours with Loki without any arguing or murder attempts. I managed to get all of the Avengers to sit at the dinner table together, said grace, and then eat for at least thirty minutes. All the while they were quiet and respectful to one another. Finally, I am ninety percent sure about the psychological condition of each member of the team, and exactly why they need each other." Robert stated, everyone remaining dead silent as they thought over what he'd just said.

"Oh, one more thing sir, I am sorry I almost forgot there is one Avenger that has earned my complete trust, Jarvis." said Robert, getting mad at himself for not including that, the first time.

"For everything you just said, and you think that gives you any credit, that is all bullshit crap. You called a stupid computer an Avenger, what are you, ha-ha-ha-ha, an idiot." Said Michaels

"That 'stupid' computer is the lifeline of this tower and a valued member of the team, you jackass. I built that computer; if I ever hear you call Jarvis stupid again, I will fly your ass to the North Pole, cover you in chum, and then drop you off by the closest polar bear, you fucknut," growled Tony. It would be a cold day in Hell if someone attacked Jarvis and got away with it.

"Agents Barton and Romanoff", Fury called out, "Is any of this information that Agent Hall has stated at all true." Fury knew he could get the facts out of them.

Natasha and Clint shared a look. Clint stood up and he looked at Robert before turning to face the Director, "Yes, Sir, they are all true, and with all due respect, Sir, we would like to retract our request to have him removed."

Fury looked at his agents,'What the hell is going on here?' "A word with you, Commander in the elevator." Fury said to Hill and walked over to it. She followed him and they walked inside, you could hear some muffled yelling, but after a few minutes they came out. "Jarvis, I have two questions for you." Fury said to Jarvis.

"Yes Director Fury, how may I help you?" Jarvis asked.

"Are you capable of giving an unbiased opinion? If that's so, I'd like you to compare all information on both agents and tell us who is the best person for job."

"Yes Director Fury I can give you an honest answer and I have already made a final calculation to the best agent. That is Agent Hall." said Jarvis

"Agent Hall?" said Fury

"Yes sir" said Robert, as he turned to face the directors

"Agent Hall," Fury, paused for a second, "How would you like to join the Avengers? Granted, it's a trial basis."

"Yes sir, thank you sir." Said Robert, as a big smile appeared on his face and he sat down.

"To hell with this bullshit, Agents get Hall now!" shouted out a red face Stones, he was furious, he did not care what SHIELD said, he was going to have his way

As the FBI agents took a step forward, three knives came out of nowhere. Two landed directly between each of their feet, and one flew between them into the wall. They both froze and took in the table of superheroes. Clint and Natasha had their guns aimed,Thor had Mjolnir in his hand, Steve has his shield ready, and Bruce was looking very green. There were sounds off to the side, and as they turned, they saw Tony already in his Iron Man Suit.

Even Jane, Pepper, and Loki were seething in anger and looked like they wanted a piece of the action. Then, there were the sounds of Fury and Hill cocking their guns and aiming them at the Agents.

"I am only going to say this once. Do not make a stupid ass decision, and do not fuck with my Agents," Fury growled.

"What was with every single federal agent coming into his building and giving the Avengers attitude?" Tony mumbled quietly.

"That was your warning, there won't be another." Agent Hall smiled.

The FBI agents knew that they had no chance, so they high tailed it out of there. Each of them grabbed Stones and Michaels, all but dragging them to the elevator. As the doors closed Stones yelled, "You're finished Hall! You hear me? You're finished!"

After the FBI agents had left, a loud rumbling suddenly filled the room. Fury looked down at his stomach and realized that he had not eaten since the morning. Hall laughed, "Have a seat, please. There's plenty of food."

Fury and Hill looked look each other, "What do you have anyway?" asked Fury.

"Well, there's meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn, brown gravy, and blueberry muffins," replied Robert as offered the new guests food.

A few minutes went by as Natasha observed Robert. Finally, she spoke, "You knew Jarvis was going to pick you, didn't you?" Another smile appeared on Robert's face, and she knew that she was right.

"I was 90% sure that he would. I mean things happen for a reason. Allow me to explain. About four months ago, an email was sent out to the FBI, NSA, CIA, S.H.I.E.L.D., and god knows what other black ops groups the government has out there. They wanted someone on the Avengers to watch them and report from the inside, so all the agencies got a list of their best agents that they felt would be good for the job. Now, the reason I know this is because I saw the original email. My supervisor is an idiot and left the email open."

"Who is your supervisor?" Fury asked.

"Johnson, Sir," Robert replied, Fury and Maria both rolled their eyes. "Anyways, I saw it, and my name was not on it." Before someone could ask, he continued, "Someone had to hack it and change it, and I believe they're in this room."

After the words left Robert's mouth, the room became very quiet. Everybody turned to stared at the known hacker of the group. Robert just looked around the room, 'Damn, these people are predictable.' So he said, "They had the group's best intentions in mind."

Fury glared at Robert. "I don't give a damn what they had in mind. It had to be Stark. He is always hacking into our system and stirring shit up."

Tony was about the defend himself, but Robert jumped in, "Actually, it wasn't Stark."

Clint and Natasha looked at each other questioningly. Robert sighed, "Nope, it wasn't either of the you."

Everyone looked at each other suspiciously. Well, there was only one other genius in the room, so everyone turned to stare at Bruce. "Good guess, but it was not him either," Robert held up a glass of white wine to the light.

"Well, who is the mysterious person?" asked Thor, who had been quietly observing everything.

"Hmmm, I don't know if I should tell them. What do you think?" he asked, a small smirk forming across his face. Everybody began shuffling about, trying to see who Robert was talking to. I don't think the group will be mad at you." He paused, took a sip of the wine.

"It's okay, I understand why you did it, Jarvis." As the words left his mouth, an invisible wave of shock and silence flowed throughout the room, affecting everyone.


"How did you know it was me sir." Said the A.I. in the ceiling ever so quietly

Notes