Robert Hall's First Assignment

As the sun rose out from its dark slumber, Robert lay awake, staring at the ceiling. His mind thought about what had happened the previous day with the Avengers. He knew a single dinner wouldn't fix everything, but he hoped it would start to bring everyone closer. With a determined glint in his eyes, he rose and dressed himself.

He entered the kitchen, only to be dismayed as he rummaged through the cupboards. 'Fucking great, of course I forgot to buy coffee', he bemoaned. 'I'm going to have to go borrow some from the 'neighbors.'' He grabbed his large coffee cup, which was orange on the outside and black on the inside. On it was his favorite Disney character, Stitch. He liked the fictional alien because Stitch reminded Robert of himself.

He walked to the elevator and went upstairs to get a cup of java, while thinking about how to plan everything. As the doors opened, Robert spied Pepper in the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to her. "Good morning Pepper. How are you doing today?"

"I'm fine, thank you. How are you?" Pepper paused and sighed. "Look, I am sorry about last night. Tony was being… well, Tony. I know he can be an insufferable ass, but he's a good person. While I'd understand if you didn't want to be here, I hope that we can still move forward and coexist peacefully."

"Pepper, relax," he replied with a kind smile. "My skin is a lot thicker than that. I said my peace last night, and I'm over it. Life is too short to hold silly little grudges. So Hakuna Matata, alright?"

"Agent Hall, the supplies you requested have been to delivered to the common kitchen area on your floor," informed Jarvis.

"The day is already looking up. Thank you, Jarvis. Well, if you'll excuse me, Pepper, I'm going to be doing a lot of prepping for tonight." Robert smiled as he moved to get and leave the room.

"Out of curiosity, what are we having for tonight?" asked Pepper.

"Well, hopefully it will be a delightful surprise that everyone will enjoy," Robert stated. He paused for a moment before inquiring. "But then again, I've never cooked for the Avengers before, so it's going to be challenging. Do you know if anyone is allergic to anything?"

"Yes, I'm allergic to strawberries. As for the others, I'm not sure, but I'm sure Jarvis will let you know," replied Pepper.

"I see, thanks. I'll see you." With that, Robert made his exit.

When he opened his door, he was met by several boxes stacked on the ground. "Well, might as well get to work. Jarvis, please play my playlist on shuffle at a reasonable volume." With an internal groan, he started opening the boxes. He opened countless types of kitchen supplies & utensils. Once he finished unpacking, he started to wash and dry all the items.

"Well, don't you have a lot to do." Robert jumped as Natasha appeared behind him.

"Oh hey, where's your other half?" Robert asked.

"Right here." Clint's appeared from within a ceiling vent. Robert just shook his head as Clint lowered himself from the vent.

"Yeah, it's going to be busy day... Hey, could I ask you for a minor favor? Could you keep anything that you see to yourself. I would like this to be a surprise."

Natasha smirked. "Sure, we can keep your secret, although we may ask you for a favor in return; quid pro quo." Robert blanched, but she quickly continued. "We have errands to run, so we'll be away until dinner."

"Hope everything goes well. Good luck," Robert said as they left.

An hour later, he was ready to start preparing the food. He got out the ground beef and threw it into a bowl. Then he mixed some Jack Daniels and two cans of Guinness beer and poured the mixture into the beef, before adding some garlic. Once the ingredients were properly mixed, he put an air tight seal on the bowl and placed it into the refrigerator. He began to cut up the onions, peppers, and mushrooms. He turned on the fan above the stove and started to sauté the vegetables.

While he was doing this, he heard a familiar voice spark from the ceiling. "Agent Hall, may I inquire as to what you are making?" inquired Jarvis. "I have been searching many recipes, and nothing matches what you are making."

"I was wondering when you were going to ask. I'm making meatloaf, mashed potatoes and onion brown gravy, sweet buttered corn, blueberry muffins, and for dessert, Georgia Peach Cobbler with vanilla ice cream," he answered as he added some more butter to the vegetables.

"Well, I do believe that this should be very good meal. I don't believe any of the Avengers have had these items in a very long time. If I can help at all with monitoring temperatures, please ask," said Jarvis, always helpful.

After stirring the vegetables to a perfect golden brown, he prepared the batter for the muffins. Turning around, he almost dropped the flour. There before him was a dark-haired demigod, wearing a green shirt and black jeans.

"So, this is the grand feast you have planned? I can't wait to see the disappointed looks on everyone's faces," Loki sneered.

"Agent Hall, it is 9:30 and you have not taken your medication." Jarvis reminded him.

"Whoops, thank you Jarvis." With that, Robert took his pill, before turning his attention to the trickster.

"Really, is that best you can do for mockery? I've seen six year olds with sharper tongues than you," Robert mocked. "Besides, I've just started cooking, ya moron. So, can I help you with anything else, or do you plan to continue mocking me like a 3rd grader? If it's the last option,
I'm going to have to ask you to leave, because unlike you, I have things to do." Having had his say, he turned away from the trickster and went about preparing the muffins.

Loki gaped at Robert. Nobody had back talked him so quickly and thoroughly since he was a child. Curious, he watched Robert stir in the little blue things. "What are those things that you just dumped in?"

"Blueberries. They're a 're sweet, but sometimes a little tart as well. Want one?" Robert offered.

Loki picked one up and ate it, face neutral as he processed the taste. "I don't understand what's so good about these 'blueberries'. They're quite mundane," commented Loki, but despite his words, Robert spied him sneaking several more.

Robert was actually shocked that Loki hadn't spat it out and complained about the 'vile taste'.

'Loki can actually like something, holy hell the world is going to end. Here comes Ragnarok.' "Uh, here they can grow on trees, or vines, or even bushes. There's also strawberries, pineapples, apples, oranges, bananas, grapes, lemons… Well, those are actually sour, but you get the point. There's a lot," he explained, with Loki nodding at appropriate intervals.

"So this must be the realm where apples came from, on Asgard they are considered a sacred food, they're not for common peasants to eat," stated Loki. "They cause a lot of trouble where
I'm from…" he cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable, "Asgard, I mean."

Robert skimmed over the little slip-up, "You can have more, if you help me out for a little while. " he offered, "All you would need to do is scoop the mixture into these tins."

Loki feigned a look of deep contempt, before finally caving, "What the hell. Very well. How much mixture do I need to put in?"

'Holy shit, it worked,' Robert thought gleefully. He handed the Asgardian a small measuring cup, "Fill this up, and then pour it into each cup, please." They worked in silence, before Robert decided to dig for information, "So, what brought you down here today? Were you bored or lonely?"

"If you must know, I was, as you would say, 'bored'." Loki continued, "I wanted to ask how you came up with those replies. I've been around for a millennia, yet your comments tend to be quite original. I am curious why my remarks hold no effects, yet the Tony's comment bother you so?" He poured the batter into the tins, taking his time to be neat.

"Many years of Monty Python TV and a very creative mind is all I can say." Robert replied. "As for Tony, sometimes the right words at the right time will cause the most damage." Robert noted how obsessively neat Loki was being. 'Irony, it is a beautiful thing,' Robert thought.

Robert's stomach growled, signaling lunch time. He looked over to Loki, who was almost done with his task, "Hey, are you hungry at all? I was going to stop to eat something, and then get back to work."

Loki's stomach growled, "Okay, I am hungry. What do you have to eat?"

Robert pulled out some left overs from the night before, and reheated it. They shared meal while chatting, although Loki was growing more anxious by the second. Robert chuckled to himself, 'Imagine if the rest of the team saw this scene. They would be very confused.'

Loki was silent for a moment before he finally burst, "I thought you didn't trust me? Why are you acting like a friend? " His eyes narrowed.

Robert eyed the suspicious god and smirked, "I was wondering how long it would take you to ask... You're right, I don't particularly trust or like you; but, I don't believe in holding grudges. I doubt you're ready to hear a complex reason as to why I treat you cordially." He could see a wash of confusion and concern on Loki's face, I doubt he understand the Christian faith; especially concerning love of forgiveness. That'll have to be saved for another time.'

"I assure you, I mean no harm... Unless you give me reason to." Robert paused for a moment before continuing, "There is something I want to talk to you about…."

A few minutes later, Robert was cleaning up the lunch, and Loki just stood awkwardly to the side, lost in thought. Robert finished wiping the table, and eyed Loki, "Hey you, will the aliens that stole Loki's mouth please return it? Oh, wait, you are an alien." Loki snapped out of his musings. Robert smirked, "How's your boredom?"

Loki smirked a little, "I must admit, I have been enjoying my time here. It's nice not being criticized, mocked, or looked at with hatred all the time." Robert glanced at Loki silently; keeping his mouth shut and just nodding along.

Ready to continue cooking, he got up and went to the refrigerator. He opened the door and got out the meat, A-1 steak sauce, the sautéed veggies, eggs, cheese, and some Stove Top stuffing.

Loki saw all the items and felt himself grow curious as to what meal could possibly be. He watched Robert pull out three large glass dishes and set them on the counter. Robert mixed the steak sauce and the eggs together in the first bowl. Next he took the lid off the glass bowl, when he asked Robert what the aroma was, Robert just smiled as he explained that is was a marinade. He opened the stuffing and dumped it into the meat, before adding the golden brown veggies and cheese. Then he added some milk and the contents of the first bowl to the meat. He mixed the meat with the other items until it was evenly mixed.

Robert took the meat out of the bowl and separated it into several rectangular glass dishes. As he did so, he shaped them into what looked like a loaf of bread. After he shaped the last loaf, he took the ketchup and BBQ sauces, and used them to cover the loaves equally. Robert set the oven to 250 degrees, and put the meat in the oven.

"Jarvis, after two hours can you please adjust the temperature to 300 degrees, then set an alarm for two more hours." Robert asked.

"Time to make dessert and then clean up," Robert commented, "You know, I appreciate your help,"

Jumping right in, he opened a large can of peaches and apple cider, mixing the two items together. He got two casserole dishes out, and spread butter on the bottoms of each pan. He then poured the peaches into the dishes, and covered them with a dough layer. Covering them in plastic wrap, he put them in the refrigerator.

"I'll put them in the oven when we start eating. The corn and gravy won't take long to cook, so I'll worry about that right before dinner starts. Right now, all we have to do is just clean up and set the table. Oh, before I forget." Robert handed over the fruit bowl to Loki, "A deal's a deal."

Loki just stared at the fruit strangely, looking down at the bowl as if something rotten or even poison might be in it, 'Why is he being so kind? We've been down here for hours now and he's been nothing if not polite and and even friendly... ' Loki mused. He was about to say something, when he heard the only voice that would make him feel uneasy besides Thanos himself.

"So, there you are Loki, I was wondering where you've been hiding all day. Thor is looking for you," said Pepper as she came into the kitchen. She made a pointed look at Robert before turning her sharp gaze back to Loki, "I hope you remember our little conversation."

Loki visibly swallowed, looking uncomfortable, "Well, I- um, I mean, ahem-"

"It's fine, Pepper. Loki's actually been helping me," Robert cut in, "Thanks again for everything,
Loki, but it'd probably be best if you left now. I'd rather not have Thor come down here looking for you. I'm afraid he would tell everyone about the food, and I want to keep it a secret."

"Valhalla knows that man cannot keep his mouth shut to save his life, and I mean that very literally," he said with a snort, raising an eyebrow that Robert actually was trusting him with something. "See you in few hours." He all but ran as he left the room.

I don't think I've ever heard him stutter before... Why did you bail him out just then?" Pepper asked in suspicious confusion.

"Well, first off, I think he was in shock that someone would trust him with something." Robert shrugged before continuing, "I figured after I left last night, you and Steve would chew everyone out for being a bunch of assholes. Knowing Loki, he probably decided to be an ass and got an extra dose of bitch-slapping." Robert guessed, as he started to clean up the dishes and everything else. Seeing the surprised looked on Pepper's face, Robert knew he'd hit the nail on the head. "Remember, I was married, I know what happens when you piss off a woman.

Anyway, he came down here to test the waters himself, and I thought being nice to him would give him a big enough shock, to guilt into acting civil for a while."

Pepper nodded along, "That makes sense. Well, I'll leave you be so you can finish. See you in a few hours." Pepper started to walk away, but turned before she made her final exit, "By the way, I really do hope this meal is half as delicious as it smells. I love it when people make Tony eat his words. You really got him this time, didn't you?"

Robert just stared at her, as a big shit-eating grin grew on his face."Absolutely." With that, she left, and he went back to cleaning up.

Everything was ready: the tables were set up, the corn and gravy were on a low heat, he had triple checked the meatloaves, and the muffins were almost done.

'Damn, I am just that good,' Robert thought, as all of the Avengers entered the room.

Notes