The room was silent just the beeps of the machine and Ava’s heavy breathing. They waited until she came round properly, Bucky’s eyes never leaving her as he stood close to her.
“Thanks Stark.” She glanced over at him with a small smile after a few minutes of calming down.
“Yeah it’s a onetime thing. Don’t get soppy on me.” He snapped the gloves off his hand but the smile on his face showed her he was happy.
“We should get yours in.” She nodded over to the Captain, his eyes finally meeting hers a small nod of his head and she was off the bed. He walked over sitting on the bed slowly that she had vacated, Tony grabbing the Captain’s box. “You uh, you need to take your top off.” She stumbled out her words nervously, turning away when he obliged. “It’s going to hurt.” She turned to face him slowly, holding her hand up she pushed forward into his chest as he groaned out, his knuckles turning white from gripping the edge of the bed too tight. She removed the temporary heart and for that time Steve felt empty; there was no emotions, no hope, no reason for anything. Before he could dwell on the feelings or deteriorate he felt her hand smack right back into his chest quickly replacing the hole with all his emotions, hopes and reasons. He groaned out in pain as the new old heart was accepted by his body. “It’s refusing it’ll will take a few minutes until it’s complete. You should be starting to feel like yourself a bit more now.” She caught his eye line as he nodded dipping his head in pain. Like she said after a few minutes the pain subsided and his heart returned to its usual rhythm. “Nothing too strenuous for 24 hours Captain.” She informed him with a small smile, he didn’t know why but he grabbed her into a tight hug.
“It’s good to have you back.” He smiled, realising her shortly after.

“I know you probably have questions so go ahead.” She sat down on Tony’s desk chair, the rest of them looking at her.
“How, why?” Sam wasted no time in asking, stepping forward to stare at her.
“I can replicate a heart. It means it beats, looks, sounds and feels the same as your actual heart; some things get changed, but, not massively. Team that with wiping your memories and you just think you’re having an off day. When the Winter Soldier isn’t being used they place him under Cryogenic Statis that keeps him alive under freezing temperatures, by doing that with a heart it keeps it beating and intact for a certain period of time. The replica heart can get damaged but so long as the Cryo heart is still beating you’ll be able to be pulled back. Supposing your body hasn’t decomposed of course. It’s a way to safeguard yourself against the having your heart removed forcefully.” She told them slowly, biting her lip when she brought up the Winter Soldier. Bucky had hardly looked at her since she death gripped his throat. “I saw that James would have to choose between Steve and I, I never had that happen to me before and Stark always told me to safeguard from danger, that’s what I did. I couldn’t tell any of you because HYDRA had developed so much that I didn’t know if they had someone who could dig deep into your brains.” She looked round the room hoping they would understand. “If they’d have found out they’d have killed all three of us at best and probably you two.” She looked over at Wanda and Sam.
“So why did you make me do it? Why did you let me believe I’d killed you?” Bucky shouted out, slamming his hand on the desk and glaring at her.
“Because it was you they were using to do it! If I’d have crushed my own heart they would have killed you! You would have been weak James!” She looked over at him. “If I’d have told you what was going to happen can you guarantee that you wouldn’t have told them? I’m sorry it happened this way, but, there was no other way for this to go down. I had to die and you had to do it.” She tried not to sound forceful but she needed him to understand.
“I’m your husband. You should have told me. I was going to choose you! Something in my mind told me I knew you and then you did that!” He shouted, leaning over the desk to look at her. “I choose you and you made me kill you!”
“I know you choose me! Do you think it was easy for me to let you kill me? I love you and have done everything I could to protect you! Would you prefer the alternative?” She shouted back, tears threatening to spill. She stared him down with a harsh glare. “Because we can so rectify it.” It wasn’t a question but more of a challenge. “I saw you choose me and for so many years of chasing you you’ve never recognised me, it’s always been Steve and the moment I needed you to not recognise me was the one time you did. James I knew there was a chance I wasn’t going to come back, but knowing that you finally recognised me made it worth the risk. If you’d have killed Steve I wouldn’t have survived anyway. They’d have used you and me, Steve had a better chance at survival that’s a fact. Damage limitation. But you recognised me.” She whispered, tears falling thick and fast, her gaze meeting his softer one as he leaned down taking her into his arms and standing up with her as she sobbed into his chest. “I couldn’t let them hurt you.” She whispered, he stroked her hair softly with a shh in her ear.

Deciding she’d been through enough for the day, Steve practically ordered Ava to rest in the room she’d been staying in with Bucky. She glanced nervously at her other half worried he wouldn’t want her in there, he offered her a small smile. Sam, seeing how weak she was, offered his arm for support as they walked out with Wanda close behind promising her a bottle of water. Tony sensed that the two super soldiers needed to talk excused himself with the excuse of calling Pepper to tell her how great he was.
“I’m sorry.” Bucky started as Steve looked over at him with a confused glance. “For the choosing thing.”
“She’s your wife, I’d have been disappointed if you hadn’t.” Steve smiled slightly, sitting down on the bed next to Bucky. “Buck, I know you’re hurt but there really was no other option if you think about it.” He glanced over at his friend who was staring straight ahead. “One of us had to die otherwise all of us would have. The outcome could be a lot worse, you could have been attending her funeral.” He whispered. “When I came back and saw Peg she told me that they held a funeral for me, that it was the hardest thing she had to do. You’ve still got her but beating yourself and her up about this you won’t have her for long. You’ve gone all these years without her do you really want to go back to that?” Bucky’s head shook slightly.

“I’d never felt pain like it you know?” He looked over at his best friend. “I killed her Steve. No matter how much I tell myself she gave it to me, that she’s still here. I still did it. He still didn’t have full control. He could have slammed the heart back into her and fought for her. He recognised her but not properly, not enough to protect her. What if that happens again. The book is still out there and all it takes is for someone to find it with a grudge and next time I might actually kill her. I’ve gone so long without her that maybe it’s what I need to protect her. I’ve done bad things and as long as he’s still a part of me I will always be a danger to her.” Bucky confided in Steve, he never wanted to let her go, but, if his alter ego ever resurfaced then he wouldn’t necessarily have a choice.

Notes