The House in the Field

It had been a week and four days since Tony resurrected Ava and tensions were high. Bucky and Ava had spoken about his fears of the Winter Soldier returning and hurting her, about how he couldn’t forgive himself for killing her and that in turn had her questioning whether she could forgive herself for using him to kill her. In her mind she was no better than HYDRA, using Bucky to carry out her wishes just like they did. She should have let him choose but she didn’t. So for the past 11 days they’d been waking up in separate beds. Team the relationship trouble with Ava’s new found strength struggles it was safe to say she wasn’t having the best time of her life. She’d broken countless amount of glasses and cups from holding them too tight, she’d even broken two slats on her bed from sitting down to harshly on it. “You need to get it out of me Tony, I can’t live like this.” She looked up at her former boss, desperation written all over her face.
“If we do find a cure for the serum it will take it all away. Ava I don’t know if that means you’ll start your aging as normal or if it’ll accelerate it more. You’re a 100 years old, without the serum we don’t even know if you’d be alive.” Tony told her sadly as she shook her head looking away. She was broken and had hit rock bottom. She walked out of the lab and since that day, a week ago, she’d not left until she could hear everyone out or in their own rooms. She’d leave her room, grab another bottle of scotch from the cupboard that Tony kept filling, a sandwich or cereal and go back to her room. It was pointless even drinking the expensive liquid, giving her healing factor she couldn’t drink fast enough to get drunk, but, it gave her something to try to achieve.

She couldn’t hear anybody and she thought she’d heard Friday mention something about a tip off so assumed she’d be safe to trudge down to the kitchen. It was 10:00 and she needed something to do, walking over to her usual cupboard she didn’t bother looking just reaching up to the same spot, feeling around blindly until she realised there was nothing in there. “Damn you Tony.” She mumbled, closing the cupboard that turned out to be a slam. “Friday where does he keep his stash.” She asked the AI, the only person she’d talk to in the house, pouring herself some cereal.
“Friday don’t answer that.” Came out the male voice as she didn’t bother to turn around. “Drinking’s not the way around this Ava.” Steve spoke out as she rolled her eyes groaning.
“I’m not doing any harm am I? Can’t exactly drink myself to death can I?” She snapped spinning round on her heels with the bowl to see him stood there holding the bottle of scotch. She looked at that before looking at him with an eyebrow raised. “Save the lecture Steve, I don’t want my cereal getting cold.” She started to walk past him reaching for the bottle, him moving it away quickly.
“Snap out of it. You could do so much and yet here you are drinking away.” He told her softly.
“I told you I’m not a team player. I agreed to help to save James. I’ve somewhat done that.” She tried again for the bottle. “I swear to god if I put my cereal down to get that bottle you won’t be doing so much for a few years.” She used his phrase as she glared at him, swapping the bowl into her hand closest to the breakfast bar.
“What’s gotten into you? Where’s the girl who came back to help us fight? Who fought for Bucky?” He asked, her jaw clenching.
“She lost everything. I was happy going along life with a slowed aging process because I still had him. Now I have a tattered body and an even tattier marriage. So yeah helping people ain’t up there on my list.” She glared at the good guy. Someone she risked her life for.
“You know that’s not true. You know you mean the world to him still. Why are you avoiding him?” He pushed further. She shook her head reaching for the bottle a final time, Steve once again snatching it away.
“Because I’m just as bad as HYDRA! I used him! I took his control away!” She screamed out slamming the bowl on the counter, causing it to smash and a dent to appear in the marble. “I’m a monster.” With that she took off towards her room, ignoring Sam and Bucky who had walked out when they heard the commotion. They saw Steve standing there with the mess around him as he looked at the door she’d gone through.

“You going somewhere?” Wanda asked as she stood at the door, letting herself into the other girl’s room when she didn’t get a response.
“Yeah.” Ava’s short response came out harsher than she intended. “I can’t stay here.” She spoke softer this time.
“Smart.” Wanda nodded walking over to the bed taking some of the clothes Ava had thrown into her bag and folding them neatly. “Pietro used to pack like that, I always folded his clothes for him. He was always in a rush.” She smiled slightly. Ava stared at her for a moment trying to figure out why she was in here. “Tony’s worried about you. The other members of the team are coming back tonight so he’s throwing a mini get-together to meet you and James. There’s a big gala that will be held here and he wanted us all to know each other. Maybe you could stay for that; see if meeting new people can change your mind?” Wanda looked up at her face that showed disgust. “They’ll be alcohol.” She added as a last ditch attempt.
“Wanda I appreciate the concern, but, I’m old enough to look after myself.” She told her taking the top off her and throwing it carelessly in the bag. “Look after yourself and James yeah?” She asked the rhetorical question reaching for the door handle, only stopping when she heard new heartbeats and voices. “There already here.” Her jaw clenched as she let go of the handle just in time before she crushed it.
“I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready.” Wanda whispered, taking the handle in her own hand walking out of the door, the soft click of the lock when she’d left.

Ava considered her options, she could risk going downstairs as she exited, jump out of the window or stay for one more night. She could hear the laughter and chatter of the enlarged group downstairs and she could sense Bucky’s nervousness as his heartbeat was the one she was tuned into more. She was tempted to go down purely for the alcohol that Wanda had promised but decided against the awkward interactions. She didn’t want to be around herself so why would anyone else? Over the few hours the chatter got louder and music was added which gave Ava the perfect opportunity to slip out of her room and down to the training room to let out her anger on the punch bags. She loaded them up in a line determined to understand just how strong she actually was. She started off gently at first slowly building her speed and strength up until she knocked the punch bag clean off the hinge. Moving on to the next one she repeated the process, changing the speed and the strength as way of measuring as she made her way further down the line. She got to the last one, her body just breaking into a sweat after the few hours she’d spent in the room; she glanced at it briefly before punching it with all her might sending the full thing hurtling towards the wall on the opposite end of the long room, with two thuds it hit the floor and that’s when she knew just what damage she could do. She went over to the fridge that was kept in the training room storing water and sat down on the bench looking at all the discarded bags on the floor gulping down the ice cold water as she thought about what she should do; she could leave, they couldn’t stop her, but then she’d be leaving Bucky. She knew chances of Bucky leaving Steve – even if their relationship was rebuilt – were none so she would have to choose later on anyway, she might as well save herself the heartache now right? But for some reason she just couldn’t bring herself to do that. She lay down on the bench her back resting uncomfortably on the cold metal causing her to shiver, she grabbed the nearest thing to her to cover herself up with which just so happened to be Bucky’s hoodie, it wasn’t long until she drifted off to sleep.

Notes