To Teach a Trickster

In the kitchen, Jane quickly dialed a number on her cell phone, placing the box of clothes on the floor next to the fridge.

“Hello, Darcy? This is Jane. Not so good. I need you to do me a favor.” Jane pulled a covered dish out of the oven and put it on the counter. She leaned over to look toward the hallway to make sure Loki was still in his room. “You will never guess what happened. Thor dropped a ‘happy’ guest by my place a few minutes ago. Loki.”

Jane cringed and held the phone away from her ear until Darcy calmed down. She pulled a drawer out and picked out a spoon, then reached for a plate. She eased the phone closer to her ear again.

“He’s being punished. Yeah, Odin stripped him of his powers and banished him on earth until he learns a lesson. And guess what? Thor dropped him off here because he wants me to babysit him while he’s on earth. Yeah, lucky me. So I need you to run out and get some men’s clothes for me—everyday clothes, lounge clothes, night clothes, socks, underwear, shoes, everything. Yes, really. No, I don’t know what size. Just…extra large, I guess? Whatever size you think Thor would wear, only not as bulky.” She glanced toward the hall again. “And be sure you get something in green. He…seems to like green. The last thing I need is an Asgardian throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get his favorite color.” She rolled her eyes up at the ceiling. “I’ll reimburse you for whatever you get, okay? Darcy, just do this for me, please. It’s an emergency. I’m in a tight enough situation as it is. I need help with this. Thank you.”

Jane hung up. She turned around and jumped when she saw Loki standing in the doorway. He inched into the kitchen, eyeing everything like a curious child. She noticed a red spot on his upper cheek…from where she had slapped him.

“You startled me,” she said. “I didn’t know you were there.”

Loki offered no apology.

“Have you…decided to join me, then?”

“No,”

“Okay…” Jane put the casserole dish on the table, along with her plate.

“My…” Loki looked down like he was ashamed. “My wrists hurt.”

“Here, let me have a look,” Jane stepped closer. Loki recoiled. “It’s okay; I’m just going to take a look.”

Loki finally gave in, offering his hands to Jane. His wrists weren’t as bad as he made out, she discovered—a few tiny scrapes at the most. Maybe a little dried blood. She walked over to the sink, wet a cloth, and came back. She cleaned the cuts, nervously stealing glances up at Loki every-so-often as if she expected him to attack her. Surprisingly, he made no attempts. He just stood there, calmly watching her hands work, or rather he stared. She guessed that he was tired. He looked it. She noticed that he was fighting to keep his eyes open. That’s when she saw the gash across his nose for the first time.

“You…have…a…” She nervously pointed to his nose. Without saying a word, he cautiously leaned over and allowed her to wipe the blood off. His eyes squeezed shut with every swipe of the cloth. She noticed that his clothes were still dirty and dusty from the battle in New York, and she wondered what had happened to finally bring him down. As if on cue, a piece of stone flooring dislodged itself from a crevice of his armor and fell on the floor at her feet. She looked at it and then looked back at Loki, not entirely understanding. He moved his feet restlessly and refused to look at her face as if the sight of the piece brought back bad memories for him.
Jane wasn’t going to say anything about the matter. Instead, she picked up the piece of floor and chucked it into the trash bin.

“There, I think you’re cleaned up enough for now. My friend and colleague Darcy—she actually lives in an apartment a few floors up—will be coming by shortly to drop off some fresh clothes for you. You can take a shower and change then.”

Loki nodded, turned, and walked toward his bedroom. Jane was actually beginning to wonder if this was the same man she had heard about on the news. He seemed so calm, albeit a bit nervous, not anything like the madman they had described.


Jane opened the door to let Darcy inside.

“It’s about time.” Jane sighed. Then she lowered her voice to a whisper. “I’ve been here alone with him for two hours!”

“Sorry,” Darcy whispered back. “I had to go to, like, ten different stores before I found something.”

“I can still hear you, you know.” a calm voice interrupted the women’s hushed conversation.

“Whoa!” Darcy shouted when she saw Loki standing in the doorway of the hall. “Awkward.” She put her bags down on the floor.

“Me standing here or me listening in on you two whisper?”

Darcy could only smile nervously.

“Darcy, meet Loki.”

“Yeah, we’ve met. I saw what he did on the news not long ago.”

“It wasn’t me!” Loki said, stepping into the living room. “It was those aliens. They brain-washed me.”

“Right,” Darcy nodded, still smiling. “Alright then, here are the clothes.” She picked up the bags and started dumping out their contents on the couch, all the time rambling about having to go to multiple men’s stores and searching through endless clothing until she finally found things. Loki had never heard a human talk so much or so fast. “…I hope what I selected is…satisfactory…for a god of Asgard.”

Jane and Darcy both started rummaging through the pile, Loki slowly walking into the room and up behind the two women. He curiously looked over their shoulders.

“Let’s see,” said Darcy, sorting the clothing into individual piles. “Here are t-shirts, some jeans, cargo pants, PJs, three packs of socks and boxer shorts…” she turned to look at Loki. “Yep, you’re definitely a boxers man.”

Loki raised an eyebrow at that, wondering how she knew he had worn boxers on his past trips to Midgard.

Jane picked up a couple of t-shirts in varying shades of green. Then she reached to pick up the pair of celery green, silky pajamas and a matching pair of slippers.

“You did good, Darcy, especially for it being such short notice.”

“Thank you,” Darcy picked up another bag. “And here are some shoes. I wasn’t sure what kind to get or how many pairs to get so I thought, what the heck, I’ll get at least four, because you can never have too many shoes.” she pulled out a couple of pairs of white tennis shoes, a pair of black leather boots, and some sandals. Loki immediately cringed when he saw the sandals but said nothing.

“You might want to try these on,” Jane handed some of the clothes to Loki. “Make sure they fit.”

“Yeah, you might want to do that.” Darcy agreed. “I wasn’t sure what size to get in everything, so I just guessed.”

Wearily, Loki carried the clothes he had been given back to his room. Darcy and Jane carried the rest. Surprisingly, the clothes fit perfectly. Jane couldn’t figure out how that was even possible. Darcy, on the other hand, just figured she was good at guessing sizes.

When Loki was in the shower, Jane pulled Darcy into the kitchen.

“Please say you can spend the night.” Jane pleaded. “You can bunk on my bedroom floor and we can lock the door. I just feel like having someone I know here with me.”

“Sure, I’ll run upstairs and get a few things and come back.” Darcy walked to the doorway. “I’ve always wanted to spend the night in an apartment with a psycho Norse god down the hall. But what do you expect me to do if he goes berserk?”

“Tase him?”

“Seriously? You want me to bring the taser?”

Jane hesitated a moment, finally nodding. “Maybe you’d better. Just in case.”

“All right,” Darcy said, disappearing into the living room. Jane heard the front door open and close.

Loki emerged from the bathroom while Darcy was away. He walked slowly into the living room where Jane was sitting on the couch, watching the news. She looked over at him. He was dressed in his new pajamas and slippers; his wet hair sticking out in even more cowlicks, looking like it had exploded the moment water was applied. He looked so different, she thought. Without his armor and Asgardian clothes, he looked like a normal young man. Much to her surprise, she found her heart softening the moment her eyes landed on him. He looked so thin and…well…lost, like he didn’t belong there. He stood and glanced over all of the computers, monitors, wires, astrological and science equipment, and other items cluttering the floor and tables, nervously twisting and wringing the sleeves of his shirt. Then he turned his eyes to the TV. Reports of the New York attack were playing on the screen, making Loki look even more anxious and uncomfortable. Jane quickly turned it off and tossed the remote on the coffee table.

“Hey,” she said softly with a smile. “Feeling better?”

Loki shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Hungry?”

He nodded.

“Come on,” she got up and walked to the kitchen. Loki followed, stopping once to inspect more of the clutter.

“I thought you weren’t going to get it for me.”

“I’m politely serving you here in my kitchen because you’re a guest. I’m not going to bring it to you in bed.” She opened the oven and pulled out a plate covered over with aluminum foil. “Besides, you’re new here and don’t know your way around yet. I don’t want you setting fire to the place or something.”

A brief smirk appeared on Loki’s lips at the amusing thought of that, and then he frowned. “I’m not completely ignorant of Midgard culture like you seem to think.” He slowly pulled out a chair and sat down.

“Thor was,”

“He would be. He’s a dolt.”

“Hey!” Jane turned around to face him. “Don’t talk about him that way.”

“Oooooo, I think I hit a nerve,” He smiled. “But you know it’s true.”

Jane roughly set the plate of food down in front of Loki, along with a glass of milk. The trickster looked down at the slop on his plate and back up at Jane.

“What is this?” he wrinkled his nose, poking at it with his fork.

“Tuna casserole,” she said irritably.

“It looks and smells horrible.” He gagged. “What’s in it?”

Jane sighed, rolling her eyes up at the ceiling. “Tuna fish. That’s why it’s called tuna casserole. It also has noodles, green peas, bread crumbs, soup, cheese, onion, butter…”

Loki lifted an eyebrow skeptically and looked down at his plate. He poked part of it with his fork again as if he expected it to move. He sniffed and pushed the plate back.

“Eat it or starve.” she snapped, tossing a bag of Doritos onto the table as an afterthought. Loki smiled, looking quite pleased with himself. “Listen, mister, I’m going to tell you right now that you’re walking a very thin line. Thor left me in charge of you. You’re living in my apartment now. You will eat what’s put before you or go without. You will do your part to clean up after yourself. And if you try any funny business with me, I’ll see to it that your stay here turns into a very unpleasant one. Understand?”

“A challenge, then? I accept.” Loki smiled.

“I mean it.” Jane gave him a warning glare. “You are confined to this apartment unless I say otherwise. I can’t have you running loose out on the streets, doing who knows what.”

“Confined?” Loki’s smile faded. “That’s not fair! I’m an adult! I can do whatever I want!”

“What part have you not understood? As long as I’m looking after you, I do not want you going out that front door unless I’m with you.”

“Or you’ll do what?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know.” Jane’s voice had an edge to it, which sort of unnerved Loki. Truth was Jane had no idea what she would do if Loki did something drastic, as she was totally unprepared to deal with a god-turned-mortal. But she didn’t want to let him know that.

“You have no control over me, mortal.” Loki sneered quietly.

“I’m sorry. What did you say?” Jane pushed herself over the table and into his face.

“Nothing,”

Jane nodded. “I thought so.”

Loki glared at her, saying nothing more. Giving Loki one last stare down, Jane turned and walked out of the kitchen.

After she left, Loki smiled to himself.

Notes