To Teach a Trickster

Jane and Darcy finished their breakfast and washed dishes before they heard anything stirring around Loki’s room. The trickster slept late, and they weren’t about to say anything about it. Neither of them felt the need to go in and disturb him either. The bigger the distance Jane put between them, the better. Besides, he looked like he could use the sleep. She didn’t want to find out how cranky Loki could be if she woke him up before he was ready to get up.

Darcy and Jane sat at the kitchen table, two mugs of coffee and their cell phones in front of them. They quietly listened as Loki’s bedroom door opened and he made his way to the bathroom, grumbling to himself the whole way. The door slammed closed and there was a sickening sound like he tackled the entire bathroom in a single sweep. A shattering crash was heard immediately after, which sounded like the shower curtains and rod coming down. Jane cringed, knowing right away that it was the result of that horrid bath mat. She had tripped over it quite a few times herself.

“Sounds like the God of Happiness, Unicorns, and Rainbows is awake.” said Darcy, rolling her eyes over to look at Jane.

Jane punched her in the arm with her elbow. “If he hears you call him that, he’ll kill you.”

“Sooo, what are we going to do with him? He can’t stay here forever.”

Jane took a sip of her coffee. “He’s going to stay here.”

“What??”

“I told Thor that I’d keep Loki for now, then after three months Thor is going to stop by to see how things are going. If I decide that I just can’t handle him, Thor will take him somewhere else.”

“Three months? You’re going to let him stay here…for three months? Jane, don’t ever say that I need help. You’re the one that needs help.”

Jane shrugged. “It’ll be a challenge for awhile, but once Loki learns who the boss is, I’m certain I can handle him.”

Darcy laughed at that. “You’re going to tame the trickster?”

Jane gave Darcy and exasperated look. “He’s had his powers taken away, so he can’t do any damage. He’s completely mortal, the same as we are.”

“Wanna bet?” Darcy checked her phone for an answer to her last text. “He’s a trickster, the God of Mischief slash Chaos, in case you’ve forgotten. I’m pretty sure he’s dangerous as a mortal, too.”

Jane leaned back in her chair. “But Thor was completely mortal when he was stripped of his power. You should have seen Loki last night when I grabbed hold of his ear. He went down in pain.”

“Jane you’re also forgetting that Loki is also the god of lies and deceitfulness. He has a cunning mind that’s always working. I’m very doubtful that went away when he was stripped of power, because…that would not be part of his power. Believe me, there are mortals that act the same way. Don’t ask me how I know. I just do.”

Jane went silent, suddenly remembering what Thor had told her about that part.

“You know. You’re right. We’d better keep a close eye on him.” she finally said.

“You,” Darcy corrected, sipping her coffee.

“Darcy,” Jane groaned. “Please help me out on this.”

“I didn’t hear any complaints when Thor was dropped here,” Darcy smiled playfully.

“That’s because I love Thor. I don’t love Loki.”

“But, Jane, you have to love him to a certain extent. If you marry Thor, Loki will be your brother-in-law. So he’s future family. Your family. Not mine. Thank goodness.”

Jane slammed her mug down on the table and gave Darcy a hard look. “Sometimes I hate when you’re right.”

“Um,” a new voice came from the doorway, “Brother-in-law?”

Jane and Darcy simultaneously turned to look in that direction. Jane blushed and cleared her throat.

“My but you’re looking sharp today.” said Darcy, her eyes sweeping the length of the trickster.

Loki looked down at his new green t-shirt and black jeans. “Yeah, they’re lovely.”

“Are you okay?” said Jane walking over to him. “We heard a crash.”

Loki blushed. “I’m fine…sort of. I think I hurt my knee a little…”

“I’m so sorry,” said Jane. “I should have thrown out that rug a long time ago. Here, have a seat.” she helped him to the empty chair. Loki limped over to it and sat down.

“It’s okay,” he said quietly, nursing his injured knee.

“I’ll get you some breakfast.”

Loki eyed Darcy. “What were you talking about brother-in-law?”

“Oh, that,” Darcy laughed.

“Heeeeere you go.” Jane quickly placed a bowl of cold cereal and a glass of milk in front of Loki, cutting the conversation off on purpose. He looked down at it and up at Jane. “Don’t tell me you dislike cereal too.”

“Is this it?” said Loki, pointing to the bowl.

“Yes,”

“You humans don’t have very big breakfasts, do you? This is barely enough to keep a bird alive.”

Jane sighed and held in what she was about to say. “Like I said last night; you don’t like it, you can starve.”

“But what about all of the fruits and meats and cheeses?”

Jane reached over and plucked an apple and a banana from the fruit bowl and put them down on the table in front of Loki. He looked at them and back to Jane.

“Knock yourself out.”

“She doesn’t mean literally. It’s just a figure of speech.” Darcy explained.

“I know what she’s talking about.” Loki snapped. “I’m not dumb.”

“Although, the literal sense would be nice,” Jane smirked, earning another glare from the trickster.

Without saying a word, Loki got up and limped over to the counter and pulled out the toaster. “While you’re busy being smart, do you have any bread?” he asked. Jane pointed to the top of the fridge. He reached over, grabbed it up, and stuck two pieces in the toaster and shoved the lever down.

“Whoa,” Darcy remarked. “Thor wouldn’t have been able to do that.”

Jane shot Darcy a glare.

“What?” she asked. “It’s true. He probably wouldn’t even know what a toaster is; let alone what it’s used for.”

“What about the brother-in-law,” Loki brought up the subject again, crossing his arms over his chest and smirking in satisfaction that he finally proved to these women he wasn’t a complete moron when it came to earth technology.

“I just said that if Jane marries Thor, you’d be her brother-in-law.”

“Darcy!” Jane cried.

“Her brother-in-law??” Loki exclaimed.

“Do they do things differently in Asgard?”

Loki’s mouth worked before he could get his next words out. “Why would I want her as a sister-in-law??” The toast popped up and Loki reached to take it out and put it on a plate. “You know, I honestly don’t understand what Thor sees in you.”

Jane’s eyes widened at that remark. Darcy nervously looked between the two.

“Excuse me?” said Jane, walking over to Loki. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means what it means.” he sneered. “You’re a…mortal. You’re beneath any Asgardian.”

The slap came so fast that Loki didn’t know what hit him until after it was over, and the sting started settling into his cheek. Stunned, he slowly turned his head to Jane. His eyes grew dangerously glassy.

“Is this going to be a regular habit?!” he yelled, rubbing his cheek.

“It might if you keep on provoking me,” Jane yelled louder. “It’s not what I would like to do to you, but it’s a start. Consider yourself fortunate that I promised Thor I’d look after you. Otherwise, you’d be in a very bad situation.”

Suddenly, without warning, Loki picked up the toaster and threw it through the kitchen window, the deafening sound of shattering glass filling everyone’s ears.

“Holy—” Darcy exclaimed. “He threw the toaster out the window!”

“LOKI!” Jane screamed, looking at the broken window and then to Loki. “Why did you do that?”

Loki shrugged. “You slapped me! And I don’t want you as a sister-in-law.”

“But that’s no reason to throw the toaster out the window.” she turned to Darcy for help. Her friend just stood there looking dumbfounded. Loki returned to the table with his plate of toast and began eating like nothing had happened.

“Help me out here, Darcy,” Jane said.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know. Tell him to…go to his room…or something.”

“Jane, the man is sitting right here.”

“He threw my toaster out the window!” Jane shouted.

“I know! I saw it! I was right here!” Darcy threw her hands up.

“It was evil,” said Loki, calmly. “You should get another one.”

Jane did all she could to keep from walking over and slapping Loki in the face again. She clenched her fists at her sides and turned around to face the window.

“O-kaaaay, I think we all need to cool down.” said Darcy, walking over and taking Jane by the arm and pulling her into the living room.

“What is wrong with him??” Jane angrily whispered. “It seems like he’s finding pleasure in making me angry!”

“Jane, Jane,” Darcy forced Jane to sit on the couch. “He’s a trickster, remember? He’s just messing with your mind. Right now, you need to calm down. Just breathe. Here, take a pillow and squeeze it.”

Jane took a deep breath and let it out, accepting the pillow. “He hasn’t even been here a full day, and already I can’t stand it.”

“And you’re going to have him here for three months?”

“Argh, don’t remind me.”

“I think you’re still upset over the fact that you’re stuck with him. Maybe you just need to face facts that he’s here now and you’re going to have to learn to live with it. Try to get along with him and don’t let what he says bother you. If he knows he’s making you upset, he’ll just keep on doing it.”

“But what he did to New York…” Jane’s words trailed off. “I’m having a hard time facing the fact that the person responsible for all of that is sitting in my kitchen eating breakfast. He needs to be in prison, not in my home!”

“I know,” Darcy glanced into the kitchen. “Which is why you need to cool off. If you keep getting angry at him for that, you’re going to end up doing something you’ll regret. I could tell that slap you gave him was for more than just him acting like a jerk.”

Jane nodded.

“Besides, you have to look at the situation from his point of view, too. He got his butt kicked by the Avengers and he’s been made mortal and left on our planet for punishment. He’s obviously going through some sort of emotional crisis right now, which is perfectly normal. So both of you are upset in your own ways and it’s clashing. I’m pretty sure that after a few days or a week, he’ll calm down and start getting used to our way of life.”

“I hope you’re right,” Jane mumbled. “If it’s going to be like this from now on, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Darcy patted Jane’s shoulder. “Just wait and see. If worse comes to worse, you can always get him his own apartment.”

“But how would I keep an eye on him?”

“I dunno.” Darcy sighed, looking at the ceiling. “I’m sure we can think of something, though. Like…put a tracking device on him, maybe? Or one of those shock dog collars?”

“Darcy…” Jane smirked at Darcy’s last suggestion. “As much as it pains me to say it, that’s kinda cruel.”

“Kidding!”

After breakfast, Loki returned to his room to both gloat and sulk in private. He flopped tummy down on the bed and sighed, turning to stare out the window. He had succeeded in annoying Jane, but at the same time, he was becoming so frustrated over the fact that he was mortal and helpless. Already he felt like a caged animal. If only he had his powers back the tables would certainly turn. He would show her. He would turn her into an animal or something and keep her in a cage. Or maybe he wouldn’t. He silently admitted that he kinda liked Jane, even if she was annoying. She had spunk. Both of them did. And they were fun to mess with. Besides, if he did hurt Jane he’d have to answer to Thor for it.

He scowled.

Thor—how dare he leave him here with both of those women! He was an adult! He could take care of himself just fine. He had hoped that when Odin made him mortal he would be able to be on his own and do whatever he wanted… like finding the scepter he lost. But nooooooo, Thor had to go and give him a babysitter to keep an eye on him. And Odin had agreed to it. He lay there fuming, chewing at his fingernail. His mind worked furiously over how he was going to get out of the apartment and obtain the scepter. A part of him didn’t want to find it since it had been partly the cause of his misery while under the Chitauri’s control. Let the cursed thing be someone else’s problem, he thought. It brought back too many bad memories for him. But at the same time, he didn’t see any other way out of all of this. If he got hold of the scepter, he would be able to get out of this whole mess and go somewhere else where no one would ever have to see him again. No one wanted him, so he would just do everyone a favor by disappearing completely. A tear trickled down his cheek.

Loki slammed his fist into the bed. He would have to put up with Jane until he worked out a way to get out of the apartment and move on to the next part of his plan. Or…maybe Jane was one of the main keys he needed. She was Thor’s girlfriend, after all, as well as friends with other people…like that doctor, scientist guy he brainwashed. What was his name again?—Sl-Selvig? Yeah, that was it. Selvig would probably know where the scepter is. If he could somehow get information as to what happened after the Avengers closed the wormhole, he could go and track the scepter down. Until then, he could entertain himself by turning Jane against Thor in order to get back at his bumbling brother for leaving him with her, just for fun. He would also have to work at softening Jane up if he ever hoped to get out of the apartment. Jane was already ticked off at him for just being there, and he already knew where her weak points were. It would be a fairly simple job.

Loki smiled, pleased with his new plans. He would have to start working on Jane right away. He got up off the bed and moseyed out into the hall. He glanced into the living room and caught sight of Jane doing something on her laptop, a star chart in one hand and a pencil in her mouth. Quickly, he ran to her bedroom and slipped inside. He eased the door closed behind him and flipped on the light. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to do, other than being nosey. He walked over to the closet and opened it. Taking a quick mental note of the clothes, shoes, and storage boxes, he closed it again. He looked under the bed and in the drawer of the night table. Here he came across some papers of which he glanced at. There were a few phone numbers, scribbled notes, and random business cards for Chinese takeouts, but nothing important he could use—nothing that pointed to Selvig. There was a small jewelry box on the table. He opened it and pulled out a long, shiny necklace to examine closer. He could take it and hide it in his room and blame Thor for stealing it. But he would need Thor to come there first for that to work. He returned the necklace to its box, the gears in his mind turning. Maybe when Thor came by in three months…

Loki was in the middle of going through the drawers of the dresser when a throat being cleared startled him into looking up. He took a step back.

“What are you doing?” Jane asked. Loki swallowed, looking like a child caught doing something it shouldn’t be doing. He blinked and looked down at the pairs of panties and bra in his hand. He hadn’t even noticed what he was holding. He dropped them and shut the drawer, his cheeks turning the slightest red.

“Books,” he lied. “I’m looking for books. Do you have any? I’m bored and need reading material.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “No one stores books in a dresser. Besides, you could have just asked me.”

Loki flashed a sheepish grin.

“Come on, Mister Nosey,” Jane sighed and ushered him out of the room and shut the door. She was fighting to keep her temper in check, not exactly thrilled at having a Norse god rummaging through her underwear drawer. Already she felt like a parent keeping an eye on a child…an overgrown child at that. Gracious, she felt sorry for Odin and Frigga. No wonder Odin wanted to banish him to another planet. She led Loki to a small built-in bookcase in one of the walls of the living room and pointed to it.

“Take whatever you want, but be sure to return them when you’re finished reading them. I don’t want them going to your room to die there.”

“The libraries on Asgard are much bigger.” he commented.

Jane rolled her eyes and seated herself on the couch again. “I’m sure they are.”

“Do you have any books on magic or spells?”

“No. And if I did, I wouldn’t give them to you.”

Loki looked over at her, chewing at his bottom lip. He turned back and began picking up books and looking them over. “You know, it’s a shame Thor couldn’t have stayed longer.”

Jane looked up from her laptop. “Why do you suddenly say that?”

Loki shrugged. “I can tell that you miss him.”

“I thought you said earlier that we weren’t meant for each other.”

“I said that I couldn’t understand what he sees in you. I never said you weren’t meant for each other. But now that you mention it, I don’t really see how you two could ever be together. I mean, you’re human, he isn’t. Do you honestly think the All-Father would let you into Asgard if you married Thor?”

Jane said nothing as she sat there contemplating what Loki had just said.

“You know, I’ve said enough already,” he said with a smile, taking an armful of books and walking to his room. He closed the door and leaned against it. It was just too easy.

Loki read late into the evening until he heard a small knock on his door.

“Come in,” he said. Jane poked her head inside. The trickster was seated on the floor in front of the window, his back leaning against the bed. He had an opened book resting on one of his knees. The rest of the books he brought with him were spread out around him. His horned helmet sat in the corner, next to the night table on the other side of him.

“Yes?” he said, curiously. Jane couldn’t help noticing the innocence in his green eyes. It amazed her how Loki could look so sinister one minute and completely innocent the next. It was like he had multiple personalities—one good and one bad—that he constantly shifted between. It was like a flip of a coin, you never knew which side was going to come up.

“Darcy stopped by a little while ago. She brought you some more books.” She slipped a hand through the crack and held up a book for him to see. He motioned for her to come inside. Jane walked over and put the sack of books down on his bed. “She also brought some more things you might need.” Jane emptied out another sack, pouring items out on the bed such as a toothbrush, aftershave, hairdryer, a shaver, a hairbrush, a comb, and some more t-shirts and other clothing and toiletry items. She held up the shaver. “You’re getting a little scruffy.”

Loki’s hand rose to feel of the stubble on his chin. “Thank you…” he whispered.

“And your lips look like they could use this.” she held up a tube of chapstick. Loki felt of his lips, slowly taking the item from her hand.

“Why are you doing this?” he softly asked.

“Just trying to be nice. I may not like the current circumstances, but I can’t stand by and see you suffer.”

“It’s too late for that. I started suffering the moment Thor brought me to this wretched hole. If you’d just let me go, you won’t have to concern yourself with me anymore.”

“Nice try, but no. You’re staying here, so deal with it.” Jane walked to the door. “Dinner will be ready in an hour.”

Loki’s nose flared and he stared hatefully as the door closed behind her. He didn’t understand why his silver tongue and manipulative power wasn’t working on this mortal. Even without his power and magic, it should work. Sighing, he looked down at the shaver. Might as well shave, he thought. He hated having a beard of any sort. It reminded him too much of Thor and Odin.

Notes